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| The silhouette of a lady |
Sometimes I just wish I had a girlfriend. Yes because I am
of age and I am not homosexual. I refused using the word – gay - deliberately.
I really don’t know the exact reason why I am single. It could range from the
fact that I have poor vibing skills. Another reason could be the fact that I am
jobless and penniless. It could also be due to the fact that I have not found
the right lady or chic. Another reason could be my lack of confidence and perpetual fear that has cropped in me.
Getting a girlfriend is not easy. That is my confession. It
is mind boggling especially when you set standards of the woman you would want
and again if you are in a way emotionally deficient of feelings. The latter in my
opinion is the main reason that drives a man to a woman.
Flash backward. I had a girlfriend. That is, in my dreams
since it never materialized as I never got to see who I was chatting with. It
was such an adventure that I still have ecstatic illusions of the feeling and reminisce those days with rabid nostalgia. Anyway to cut
the long story short, I had a girl who I used only to chat with but never had
transport to go and visit her. She lived miles away and that was the bone of
contention that resulted in our young union never seeing the light of day.
Flash forward and I am regretting. Why didn’t I seize those
opportunities that arose in campus of all those single and beautiful ladies whom
I knew? Again it boils down to; money, money, money. One of my friends used to
say that he had a three point plan in life and it is money, money and lastly money. The syndrome in a way affected me and since I
like to make women feel good once in a while and sure enough since I am
penniless, I can’t afford to take chances.
Let me say that getting a girlfriend again is not the
problem. I have had situations where girls have hinted at the possibility of us
getting together but again when all is said and done, I never express interest
and like ashes poured in the river all goes in vain.
To set the record straight, I am not exactly searching for
something serious. I am open to someone who is more flexible to an open
relationship. But again I am a man and that means that at times the rules of
engagement are set by none other than me.
I don’t want to sound dictatorial but being a sort of a
macho gentleman, this has made me to be a little bit rigid when it comes to
women. First I don’t share. That does not mean that I will be conservative in
matters pertaining to the bedroom. I hope that my future girlfriend reads this with the sixth
sense of rationality. I added that since that sense does not exist.
So what am I looking for in a woman? The first thing that
comes in mind is attraction. Alas! If that does not exist after sometime then I
must say there is no place I would be taking the relationship. Secondly
character comes in quick succession. That sounds misplaced, but sincerely, if
it is not for attraction, the second would not exist. Third, has to do with me.
I need my future girlfriend to appreciate me the way I am. My downfalls, my strengths and all
that may not be palatable pertaining to my general being.
If you find this had to muse, well don’t be astounded.
Again, it is my life and that means you as a lady have nothing to change about
me. Talking of change, women love to change the life of their men. I have read
many articles whereby the subject of change or transition and matters finance are highly muted when
couples enter into a union.
Nevertheless, I am not complaining of my single status. I am
just like any other bloke but difference is I have to rant about the frustrations
I have undergone to make my life different in my quest to finding a better half.
Lonely life
It’s practically very hard being a single dude. At times I usually rue why I am a recluse,
but it all has to do with women. I have been frustrated trying to take women
for outs as they never show up for the set dates. Take note that i have tried and i will continue trying. For instance there was a time I
earned some little money and wanted to take one of my lady friends for a cup of
coffee in Java- the best coffee lounge i know. But that never came to be as the lady told me pointblank she
was too busy and I had to backtrack.
Since then I have developed cold feet and I rarely make romantic
calls and send flirty messages to potential dates till I get to make enough money.
As a broke lad, all the pretty women are not easy to come by.
It’s even hard when you don’t groom yourself to standard. These are also part
of the drawbacks that have burdened my conscience in my ultimate hunt for that
queen of my heart.
Opening Up
I am ready to start again. I know I may have lost all the
available hope but as long as I am not six feet under, the sky should be the
limit in my aspirations in life.
Closing quote
I want to make an exit by citing one of the best novelist, passionate eroticist and short story writer, who said,
‘Each friend represents a world in us, a
world is not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new
world is born.’ – Anais Nin.
