Let me keep it simple

Sunday 26 February 2017

A SALES VIBE


Have you ever asked yourself what you cannot do? Seriously, there is nothing that I cannot do provided I am assured of legitimate income. Hustling on my part is real. I have to juggle a lot of tasks concurrently. I guess I have no rest metrics. Many people I have talked to have hustled in different ways, I think I have been only through a struggle that though I find tough, it’s quite below par in comparison to what others have gone through. All in all, it’s interesting though I think I may burst sometime because of over commitment.


I have seen some wear mascots; standing in risky positions in order to sell to customers.  The reality is there is a problem in the job arena. Then there were this chaps who used to wear rolling skate shoes to market products to individuals gliding perilously notwithstanding the possibility of being knocked out by a deranged oncoming driver. What I know is that there are many who are being exploited by profit-making scam artists and individuals who put the gullible youth at risk of injury and death especially with regard to marketing using skates. Let me not talk about the Airtel agents who sell phones and mobile phone lines in strategic lanes and streets that have human traffic amid the issue of probity being an underlying factor.


Albeit, no one notices this guys, they are salespeople, a Kenyan youth who is in need of something called money. Yet, many don’t last long in the job. Frustration and pressure highly contribute in the high turnover in some of the jobs people take. If you don’t meet your daily target, you are as good as spent cartridge.


I hate to say this but we have been reduced to a Nairobi that has turned many a youngster, straight from high school, college or university into lackadaisical and disillusioned individuals who are having hopes that tomorrow will be better. And it will be if you can sell more to many clients while the truth is the person you are enriching that guy who pushes you to the edge to bring in the figures so that he is also not rendered jobless because as at now, I fear being jobless more than I fear quitting. The average proletariat will do anything to maintain the status quo, a scenario I am in and I am entangled and when I feel like exiting, I remember that there are really no jobs for a no tall relative proletariat like me. So, I have to wait for my blessings where I am or when they will shuka.


The truth about sales is that you are normally on your own. Once you are bequeathed with product knowledge, you are required to go roam the streets and offices to find clients. Nobody knows rejection better that a salesperson. Whether on phone, by some receptionists who are as cold as ice, civil servants in offices or guards and sentries who have to follow instructions because the job depends on it.


Why have we been reduced to job seekers and salespeople. Could it be because we love the easier route? Guess someone needs to find out why there are more sales positions than any other position being offered by many organizations. And you sometimes don’t get a retainer just commissions. What is worse is that even the reputable brands do not have better terms for a rookie. On the contrary, what is good about established brands is the fact that they give you a leeway in some situations because they may be an easy sell.


In short, Nairobi has become a micro sales economy, which is not a bad idea given that many manufacturing industries have been rendered redundant and I am also finding myself enrolled in many Facebook groups with many multi-level sellers with a lure of easy quick money until…... Salespeople are however broke and disheveled, apart from a few whose pockets run deep they never know the trials and tribulations of the non-performer. I know of many who will go and take a nap in open places just to forget about the fact of finding unwilling clients. That’s a story for another day.


I know this may sound harsh but while a salesperson is sweating it out, in the field, there is another person who is seated waiting to reap from the sale and piling pressure if targets are not met because that’s how they get paid and you also get paid as a salesperson. What I know about sales is that it is more about passion that ability to earn. It’s skewed towards one side of the curve and if you are not willing to soil your hands dirty, sometimes get arrested and all that, the truth is try it at your own risk. If you sincerely know your personality, it’s sometimes better to give it a wide berth. But if you are in for adventure, making lots of cash, not fearing to get frustrated, loving what you do, then it’s the best job ever. You can work very few hours achieve results and you will be smiling all the way to the bank having surpassed the targets earlier on while someone is busy trying to close the first sale.


Hasta la vista baby.


[Picture source: Pixabay]
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Friday 17 February 2017

SOMETHING DIFFFERENT


In my quest to find autonomy, I have been battling a lot in terms of settling down. I had high hopes that I would one day get a cheque to cash on my ability to sometimes withstand some of life's atrocities through my ability to write. It is now years since I started writing and I am not sure whether there is any reward other than the passion I get from knowing that there are two Google plus accounts I am not sure about that offer me solace in terms acknowledging that they have realized I have posted something on the social media site. 


There is something good about there two individuals. They make me feel like crying tears of joy. I feel like 'aw' yet Ii don't know them just like they don't know me. Reminds me of this best friend chic I normally engage. She like uttering those seductive words that makes blood run down south and you feel like you were with her to hold her tight for having shown such gesture. For those two accounts, if I had enough chums, I would take them to some ritzy joined and let them order what they want. But for a broke bloke guy who is struggling like yours truly, there will come a time when it will happen. 


Sometimes I wish I had a wife. Yes, that someone you can out pour to frustrations and the daily triumphs because we need a someone at the end of the day. Yet when I think of the fact that I am still struggling, I normally retreat in everything. Like I have thought of exiting the social media platform just to keep my cool and go away without official leave. Look at it this way. There is a lot of liberty when you are a freelance writer. 


I guess am quite boring. I don't think that will change anytime soon, plus I hate bothering people. If I find out that I am a bother and the union is not mutual, I normally retreat as fast as possible because i don't like it when things do not add up. Guess that is the reason why when this lady I have been having a thing failed to pick my phone the other day, I felt like I was dealing with one of the many clients who refuse to pick calls. It's even demoralizing when you text and nothing seems to happen. What do you do in such a situation? You wait for her to call back, and when she does, you look at it just like the way she finds your missed calls and does nothing about it. It's just good to ignore people when they are not having your best interests at heart. Because at the end of the daily, if the job is stressing, a lady is also giving you stress and the quest for a better paycheck is not forthcoming, what do you do, you try out something different.


As it turns out, life is just the same. I decided to engage in a different engagement just to find some extra income because the one that i normally have is quite meagre. And because we live in a world where we have to fancy being employed, I normally wake up just to head to work because I have to be seen to be working. The truth is, I am longing for something different. A more satisfying role. Because I have never loved paying to be given a job, am still stuck in a rut even though I have progressed on a slight note.


I got a new part time hustle that I an engage in in the wee hours of the night to be able to earn an extra coin. I remember writing about greener pastures here and after sometime, the organization that I did an interview in decided to offer me a new lease of life by calling me for another interview that has led to another job.


The truth is that when I went into  the banking industry, I had presumed it would be an easy transition into the venture that I am training on in terms of being an analyst. You see, when you go somewhere you head there with a purpose. Since the institution I am employed to work from eight to five is a global leader with issues investment, my intuition was that once I have established myself, it was now going to be the process of looking for a transfer to the new role that my heart desires. But it has not been ease for me.  


If only I had a tall relative outside there who would aid in gaining entry into the that field, then, perhaps this lady would view me in a different angle. The truth is that if you get a job in that industry, you can swim in cash, just enough to wow an average lass into submission. As it turns out, I cannot leave because the employer has not terminated my contract. What I know is that I am in my exit days because the truth is that I have not been quite productive. If you were not meant to be in a certain role, no matter how hard you try, it can be really boggling.


So am now a worker at this online platform called Cloudfactory. I  guess if it were not for this full time duty, and the fact that there is no enough work to keep me hooked, I would have forgotten about the full-time job and concentrated on the new job. But again, I am yet to be paid. so in the event I am handed a termination letter which can be anytime soon, I will be ready as I can inquire if I can be given more work.  


Working online can be fun. But you get tired too quickly. It is again monotonous because you are immobile for quite sometime. The quest for money also keeps you hooked doing it quickly in order to earn. It is good that you can be able to see the earnings you have made. The harder and accurate you work, the more money you get. As opposed to searching for clients, this is where you have the job and it is up to you to do it in order to earn. The pay is however meagre at the start, you work for long hours and you are pad peanuts. 


Yet, I like it because I have something that can give me that extra income during a rainy day. Sometimes we life is not about money, but when you have to pay bills and be at your best, money is indeed a factor. Nobody wants to associate with a broke bugger. We all want to be with guys who have cums. That is why I have to work extra hard because I have to be chummed. 


Something different is that I even though all this employers may terminate my services one day, what is for sure is that Google cannot because I am a free agent on no stipend for them through operating this blog. 


Still I have to look at the brighter side of life. The far that I have come is not an underestimation. The place that I am going is more thorny but given that I have survived as a salesman this long, I know what I am made of. I am more of a technical guy that a social guy who can still move on a head even when things are not working out.


Hasta la vista baby.


[Picture Source: Pixabay]
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Sunday 12 February 2017

KITH AND KIN


One day after work, a certain pneumatic lady in some fitting jeans caught my eye from afar while I was talking to a pal on the streets who works for the biggest carrier in the country. It was his first day in town after a long while because they work from the outskirts on the east side of town. The virility in me could not wait for the conversation to end, so I decided to follow her after excusing myself even though she had gone quite some distance. Indeed, if I was not smitten, then I was probably hexed because I just found myself following her to the mat and I sat next to her. Deliberately. Is this even normal?


That's how I realized that I was indeed enchanted. A makeshift emotion it was coming to think of it.


When you are curious about something, you need to do all that entails to quench your thirst for the zeal. It’s a step that if you take, you will feel relaxed at the end of it all because the heart will be at rest once you have satisfied the urge.


So, I decided to follow this curvaceous lady to the next available mathree to find out where she was going to. Nonetheless, she was headed in a totally different direction as opposed to the one I was to going to. Then something told me to enter the mat she was in and I found her all alone. Hitherto, I had not yet talked to her.


I had only seen her from the back because there is also this oomph that comes with walking with a lady with ample derriere as a guy. I only followed her from the back because I could not summon enough courage to engage her in the streets of Nairobi. Again, I was with a friend engaging in petty chat when she passed so I had to quickly formulate a rhetoric just to follow the said damsel. And one of the best things about this chickis is that when they are alone, rarely do men love approaching them. They just love ogling and that’s it. Kula kwa macho.


I remember waiting for her to enter the mat first as I speculated on my next move. She went and sat alone in a seat not far away from the conductor in a mat headed to Umoja. I guess she was expecting me to sit next to her as she quickly adjusted herself since she was initially occupying too much space with her wide hips. She is those kinds of ladies who appear small from above but when she stands, you wonder why the Almighty made humanity such a complex phenomenon.


The coward in me could not start a conversation because I was first looking for a line to break the ice plus the music playing in the background was too loud forcing me to weigh options because again this was not the route I normally use while headed back to the digs. I was contemplating staying or just alighting and stop the profligacy of heading where I was not supposed to because of a damsel I don’t know out of sheer ‘ufisi’. That’s the time I realized that there are times when the strength of woman can be reason enough to engineer the downfall of a man. Hope I will be able to outdo the temptation in future when kakitu comes.


The music was playing in the mathree was so loud. Every now and then, I had to twitch and tweak to have a real feel of this bodacious babe. I guess she knew I had some hidden agendas in mind and could not help but just trust that what she was either given by her mama or modified by a doctor was really driving us the male species nuts. She knew something was coking but trust ladies who know they have a weapon against men to act as if there is nothing cooking. Naturally, I am not into such kind of ladies. Given that she was also too big for the standard size I usually love in a woman, I guess I was in just for the adventure. An adventure that I cannot further because I have forgotten about her and thinking only about the lady who gives me sleepless nights sometimes because this babe was surely a Jezebel.


The first attempt at breaking the ice with her was not wrought. Since the blaring music was too loud, she pretended as if to imply that she had not heard me. I decided to keep mum because she was also looking at the window instead of facing me, which I considered quite rude. But what made me not lose hope is the fact that I have over the years developed this thick skin that even if you become snobbish, I will still find a way of letting myself into you through unorthodox methods until that point where I must give up and leave.


One of the things I have experimented with ladies with mind boggling curves is that they usually seem conscious but will not embarrass you by acting mum when you approach them. As for yours truly, I cannot mind approaching a lady who is alone and depicts the character of someone who will not start creating scenes by shouting herself hoarse as if a gang of thieves has descended on her wallet. It’s called being a hunter. At the end of the day, you know where your heart belongs.


While looking at her, I saw a certain guy selling PK and decided again to engage this chic I was with by coyly telling her, ‘Excuse, si ukiona huyo jamaa wa pk uniitie ninunue.’ That attempt backfired like a failed firecracker because no conversation ensued even though I was intending to have quite a chat. She only nodded then returned to the position she was facing outside.


The vehicle was now in a jam. One thing about a nganya is that it will use all possible ways to make it to the destination faster even though it is illegal because of the routes they use with constant overlapping. I remember I wanted to pay her fare and ingeniously peeped into her wallet to probably find out if she was carrying new Gs but was encouraged when I realized that it was not as fat with remnants of a G.


There is something intriguing by courageously being seated next to a lady you would love to talk to but develops this hard to get mentality. Honourably, there is nothing honorary in this. I almost wanted to pay for the lady’s fare but when remembered I had carried fixed fare, I had to retract kiasi. I could see she was looking at me with those eyes of can you be a man and pay you damn broke loser. I had to act roho ngumu kama mawe. Not that I am normally stingy, but life situations have forced me to take this route.


Moments later, we were now on Outering road, a landmark considered to be the gem of Eastlands. It’s still taking shape and one side of the way is used by cars headed in opposite direction since it is still under construction.


The driver of the vehicle was asked to pull over for careless overlapping which had been monitored by the boys in blue for a while. Incidentally, the driver had no driver’s license and I could hear the conductor making frantic calls to a driver within the area to go and take over the reins of the machine. Apparently, the driver was even high on substance and was quickly whisked away by the police who are on a high affinity for bribe.


At that point, I remember asking the lady some silly questions which I knew the answer. Like asking if the driver had been caught when it was in fact an open secret. Being a less dramatic queen, she answered them courteously as passengers were now alighting from the vehicle.


Initially, I had overheard a conversation in which she was talking to a guy who wanted her to meet her in town but she said she was already headed to the house and could not turn back. Since other people were alighting, she decided to join them and head back to town. I also had no option but to alight since it was a clear waste of my time having skived reading that day to go and do other things.


I alighted when she I had seen she was headed to town alone and went to go chat with her. Well, as I was contemplating asking my next move, I could see men looking at her and making those comments that can easily land one in jail for having sexually abused a lady through looking with ill intent and making unsavory comments.


Since I had already talked to her, it was easy to start on a conversation about her, where she worked and well, if she was ready to mingle which was not my intent. Sometimes, I usually want to know new people. That’s it. When it was time to depart, I tried asking for her number but she denied me the right. For sure, I felt despondent but thinking about it again, there was no likelihood I would ever call her back. The number would have ended up being among the defunct contacts on my cell list. Plus my phone had already lost died and in any way, I would have been forced to inscribe her number down.


In the workplace, when you stay longer, you will notice something that we most people usually take for granted. Nepotism is rife. Let me call it so for lack of a sugar coating word that makes it to sound more appetizing. Over the short period that I have worked in this corporate body, I have come to realize that if you have a tall relative at the helm, chances are you may not be struggling sometimes with issues pertaining to continuity of your contract or performance. Again, if you are qualified, you quickly transition to a better role which is less of a hustle and may be low on pressure. While the beneficiary enjoys the fruits of the senior’s hard work, the bugger probably had to earn the position to make it easier for the kith or clandes to be there.


Well, there is no underestimation of the power of kin when it comes to being in a job. There is something I may call return the favor. Once, a certain dude we were working with told me of the fate of a guy he was in campus with who just had to swap roles because he was interested in joining the bank while his Oldman worked as senior in the brewery. His folk decided to make a phone call and that was it. There was vacancy but on condition the other guy could reciprocate by offering the banker’s son with a marketing job in the brewery. That, unfortunately is how jobs are traded out here. Nipe nikupe.


And that is how the roles were swapped. It's just life, if your peeps never hustled to create a network of the whos and whos in society, you cannot achieve feats as fast as you would have wanted if you are not very aggressive. It takes time to be able to get to the place you want in life. There are many who give up along the way. Like I gave up on the bodacious babe I met because I could not see myself ever wanting to talk to her because she was like something I admire and that's it.


When I sometimes hear the same in the institution I work for, I tend to think that it will be even worse for our progeny if we are not able to make hay while the sun shines. If you have a brother and he is performing, then there is no problem. Performance outdoes all other things, right. On the contrary, there are sometimes rumors that some of those kith end up having insider information and there was one who was due for exitation but as fate would have it, he is still around. That's the power that a tall relative bequeaths. As for ladies, it even comes with perks if you cooperate and your pay can be thrice that of seasoned employee who has spent decades hoping things will change.


In the sales industry, if you have insider information about something, say you know a company that has been given the green-light, you can lock it faster and by the time these other buggers get wind of this information, what remains are the remnants because a person can make it tough for you to access another market. That is where our kin help in if they are in higher echelons of clout. And we are still competing because those who are the best have also hacked their way into being so using ways they know best.


Well, in Swahili they say mla nawe hafi nawe ila mzaliwa nawe. This kin and kith business is true. If there are more than ten pairs who are related and you know them in the workplace, don't discriminate them, they are in it because it’s a hustle baby. If I was in the same influential position, I could have probably done the same because I have kith and kin who are in the digs probably wasting away or wishing for a place to be in. But because I am not in the position to aid in swaying outcomes, which I have to admit, I only have to hate the vice because it has made it hard for some who would have benefited genuinely. 


Well, if one day I bump into the lady again, I have already made an impression whether good or bad. The bottom line is that she helped me have a story when I had a dry spell on this blog.


Hasta la vista baby.


[Picture Source: my own]

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Monday 6 February 2017

WHEN WORK GIVES YOU AN E


Well in the workplace, there are no F. There is dismissal from the system instead of being handed that grade. It's either you are good, at the midriff or worse off. There is nothing like seating on the fence. A couple of times I have found myself thinking why am I even sticking to the job like a tick that needs to be removed by an oxpecker. Countless times, I have been trying to look for an exit, but the reality is that I cannot move away. I am the clingy type of employee. The one who cannot afford to make the mistake of leaving lest I go back into dry spell again.


Alright, let me admit the truth. When I was in primary school, I thought that the key to a better life is working hard in school and scoring the best grades that I could in order to join my dream school in high school. That to some extent materialized because I was given a chance in what is now a national school and the chances of getting an even better grade is guaranteed if you are within a certain quartile of achievers. I did maintain the limit and excelled past secondary and was admitted to campus where the fee was something I could manage in the event there was a lowdown from my Oldman. But he paid it all in my first year. Then things happened in campus and I was not at my best because of the campus syndrome.


Now allow me to detour. I read about a certain dude who went to university and did a certain course in humanities and the chap has not been lucky to find a self-sustaining job to keep him going almost a decade after completing campus. I felt for him. In the sense that I am also tied somewhere I wish I could move. The guy had written a letter to an editor who wrote about him. What school never prepares us for is the fact that we need to take anything that comes along the way. The folly of this is that you may never find fulfillment in that which you are doing.


Obviously, there are those who switch careers and adapt faster than they even anticipated. They may either accept the mediocrity of the trade or work towards getting it right so that they are the best in what they do. They become passionate, focussed and make hay while the sun shines.


As for yours truly, I am not sure whether it is a bad decision after another that I am making or it is just what life has bestowed upon me. Several times I have contemplated giving the job an exit by calling it a day. It has resigned me to an E person in the work arena. I don’t want to be an E material. I want to be admired and be seen as a role model by the many people who look up to me in their pursuit of also having a better life.


It's stifling in here. But, it is better than waking up in the morning and you have nothing to do and nowhere to go. Let me say what I love about my job. The first thing I love is that it is one of the most flexible jobs you can ever have. This is because you can create time during the day to do that which you intended to do. Its flexibility is dependent on achieving results, in the event you never, mark you, the flexibility will turn into anxiety and the pressure to perform will be pilling.


Second thing is that when you work for a brand name, even if you are low cadre, the brand keeps you hooked. It’s even better if it is big because you will be given time to make all the mistakes in this world upon which if you cannot bring in results, you can easily be shown the door (sadly, this applies to this bugger called Anan). A good brand name however is good when it also comes with the paycheck. The salesperson that I am is measured by variables that are easy to achieve but can be hard to realize if you become what you are not supposed to be. But the field can be impotent sometimes, much to your chagrin.


I also love the job because of the caring human resource staff who will listen to you in the event you find it hard with the going. I have found it hard in the course of duty and they reassigned me to something that was less frustrating but also not straightforward. Now without any consideration, they took me back to the murky waters, to fend for myself when I wanted some support. This indifference and nobody sees it. I am human per se. I feel like crying when they dribble me around like a ball not knowing that I also have ambitions in life. But given the many people who are jobless, especially in my immediate family, I just have to keep going with a brave face even though it’s tough.


Success is what we all love. I love associating with successful people. I love the success the bank has achieved in terms of leverage. I may not be successful but its success gives me the determination to wake up every morning to go and be counted among the few Kenyans who are genuinely employed (yet when I am not performing I feel unemployed). Well, on the contrary I do not share in the part if I am not able to crack the numbers thing. I want to move to the next level. But it looks blurred.


Am on a mission. Until I achieve it, I will not let the oomph subside.


Hasta la vista baby.


[Picture Source: Google Images]
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