Sorry we don’t eat chicken.

A sumptuous chicken cuisine 

Sometimes I usually wonder why we have very retrogressive and conservative cultures that act as a stumbling block when certain delicate situations arise and people think of the imminent portent repercussions they present. This apparently applies to folks in the rural areas who are so immersed in some archaic and awkward beliefs in their pursuit of civility. 

As an individual I like to subscribe to the ancient adage that says, when you go to Rome do what the Romans do. As such I usually never want to cause a stir by raising eyebrows hence setting tongues wagging and have people backbiting me for acting weird and going against the grain.

I went to the rural areas sometimes back and what I saw really perturbed and left me tongue in cheeks due to the turn of events that ensued. We were in a certain ceremony where various foods had been served to guests. There was finger-licking, appetizing and sumptuous delicacies that would make one swallow saliva at the sight of such meals.

The air around the vicinity was coy. It was as if those who had gathered for the meal were waiting earnestly for the delicacies that were served on plastic plates and mashed corn in huge metal trays bought onto a rickety table that danced a little bit as the huge ugali was being placed on it. Those who served the meals were kind of pathetic in their approach and their weird behavior was not at all any mollifying.

On the dining table of those invited for the meal was one Tan a local catholic catechist and Dismus a priest from one of the local churches who was bound to be ordained as bishop in due course. I once saw Tan use the bottle of Meakins to sprinkle holy water in a certain ceremony and only laughed inwardly at such ignorance which looked ludicrous.

Earlier on while conversing, Tan had complained of the bureaucracy that had made it difficult for him to progress from a catechist to a priest. While Dismus from the local church was 30 years younger, Tan was over seventy years and his snarky comments tacitly portrayed a bitter man. In his opinion, his humble predicament was as a result of the red tape the church had placed on him as a caveat to his prosperity. I found his complaints abstract and had to interject and tell him the truth which caused uproar as most of the rural folks did flabbergast their oral cavities with joyous pandemonium in light of the reply I did give.

That the church prefers young educated men who sometimes ended up being unrivaled sots, strayed and slept with various women left, right and centre at the behest of those who were genuinely experienced and had served the church diligently for a long time was quite demoralizing.

Religion aside, the young men who were serving us brought a variety of meals that many waited with abated breath. They young men serving inquired whether they could bring chicken and everyone on the table bellowed in unison “YES.” 

There was roasted goat’s meat, fish, beef, rice, plain white rice and other vegetables having hors d'oeuvre condiments that were served in huge bowls since the number of people who were to take the meals was like an army of ants on a roach that had just passed. Tan prayed for the meal.

Marinated flank chicken was the last meal to be served up when everyone had served his desired ration. It was prepared deliciously and it looked like a cuisine that had been expertly prepared by the chefs in the smoky billowing makeshift kitchen. Accompanying it was a broth that was equally aromatic, had a pleasant sight and was quite mouth watering. 

When the chicken was brought, everyone on the table became aloof. None wanted the tasteful meal that when cooked at home, makes one to even feast on the bones avariciously. This was mortifying, I am a fan of meat and seeing it on the table I was buoyed that it was the next dish I was going to gobble as none wanted to devour it.

While I was eyeing the tender parts of the chicken enviously, I could smell a rat as none of those present on the table wanted to eat the meal. Being the eldest, the meal was reserved for Tan since most of the old folks like chicken in this part of the world. Whenever chicken is served, they are usually the first to serve it sometimes saying it is only for the aged whose teeth could not tear meat from bones. Since he was the eldest among youthful guys, the meal was placed in front of him.

I was perturbed when Tan confessed that he usually never partakes of chicken and he had been warned by the church to refrain from eating meat from any two-legged creatures. That included turkey, and duck meat. Furthermore he did quote verses in the Old Testament causing many to burst out laughing loudly. While I am accustomed to old men eating white meat which comprises of meat from ducks, chicken, guinea fowl and turkey, it was equally amazing to see the turn of events in this place. Tan was feasting on red meat like a hungry dog does when thrown a bone to chew.

I was seated next to Tan and realizing that this is the same man who had earlier feasted on chicken in an earlier event, not forgetting that he was among those people who usually order chicken when we go to restaurants while in town, I decided to follow suit. Partaking of the chicken would have made me the talk of the village and as I earlier said, I did follow suit.

The meal was then passed around to the other guys who were on the table to eat. There was however subtle yet unsaid remarks, “Sorry we don’t eat chicken.” The chicken made rounds on the table and even though many would have wanted to eat it, they passed it on till it came back to Tan.

Tan’s son Tit who was roaming around aimlessly came and joined in the gobbling on the remaining victuals. He found the other meals had all been cleared. In the rural areas, most people have robust appetence and you may easily be caught in with fray of eating like a hyena if you extend your stay for a couple of days. 

Tit feasted on the chicken raucously without thinking twice as to why it was the only reaming meal on the table. While all the other people on the table had refused to eat the chicken, he readily ate it even without washing his hands. I think as a perennial ale imbiber, he had downed a few bottles of local liquor and relished his hunger with the remaining ration.

SITUONANE.