TSUNAMI

“Cheer up, things might get …………”

That’s the slogan of our boss back at work. Every time he utters those words, something is usually cooking. I usually never know how the line should end but most colleagues usually say they might get ‘worse’. On the other hand, I usually think they might get ‘better’. In the sense that I try to see an opportunity even when all seem to be gloomy and circumstances suggesting that the worse times are more than imminent.

The banking industry has undergone a radical shift in the way has been operating in the recent past. There is a Kenyan mentality of living in denial because we are used to situations remaining the same. We never want to accept change. When they come, they sometimes catch us unawares because the imminent impact is not taken into consideration. That means there are causalities who sack is at the mercy of the human resource.

Allow me to allude to the possible crisis that was envisioned during the Brexit. At that time, I was busy preparing for my exams and because I had got tired of perusal, I decided to pour over some gen on investments online to buffer the academic knowledge than I was gaining through ebooks. I noticed a plebiscite that was to take place in Britain, it was to be held in few months. It was still hot news and I shared the same tidings on my LinkedIn profile.

The reason why I shared the information was because I was among the doubting Thomas’s as to the possibility of Britain exiting the European Union. Given that I love statistics, I closely followed the survey and it was a close to call poll. Those for an exit took the day. However, as opposed to us Kenyans where we never look at the financial impact of a move we make, the World was prepared for either scenario with most thinking the status quo would prevail.

I remember reading an article where retired analysts were recalled from their superannuation or wherever they were secluded in to go aid in containing the debilitating effects of a possible rundown in the financial markets. Let me surmise on this because I have shaky facts from the internet. The London market is the largest when it comes to forex. It accounts for more than twenty present of the same in the world. Given that the pound is the strongest currency in the whole world, there was going to be devastating rippling effects which needed to be monitored lest the world succumbs to a financial crisis only reminiscent to the 2008 meltdown.

In the long run, the Brexit being a world changer, the situation that was delicate was able to be ameliorated by mitigating the effects which would have led to a crisis.

The scenario is almost similar to the Kenyan case of interest rates being capped (in economics, it’s called ceiling). Previous attempts to cap interest rates flopped because of reasons that can be presumed to be economic in the sense that there will always be imbalances between the quantity demanded and the quantity supplied when there is an interest rate ceiling. Then net effect is that productivity will be affected because the loan book of most banks has been nonperforming which has led to a scenario where standing orders are not accepted anymore. Banks only allow for a check off system between the bank and the employer where they do not have to undergo the torture of finding no money in an individual’s bank account who owe them given that some people may forfeit their obligations by withdrawing all the income from their account rendering the standing orders void.

There is also the brown paper argument that as long as the legislators are culpable to easily being oiled, they could easily be bank rolled by some banks not to pass the bill and ensure the status quo prevails.

Hitherto, there were staff who were thinking that the president would not accent to the Banking Bill because he has interests in the banking sector. The day he signed the bill, he aided in bringing the country at par with what was witnessed in the developed world long ago because interest rates have a ceiling to reduce on banks turning to being shylocks literally. I had initially thought that banks were prepared for the imminent repercussions. On the contrary they were caught unawares.

It is at this point that they have returned back to the boardroom to strategize on how to reduce on some products and gain on some. As for the bank I work for, there was an imminent tsunami that came in the sense that the parent company was going to walk away. That was devastating but what is now irking is the fact that some heads have to roll. It may start with this blogger who was intending to use the avenue to further his people skills and possibly add onto the experience of working for a multinational company.

I remember watching how the staff who worked for Lehman Brothers were exciting from their trading and various offices after the bank went under after the recent financial meltdown that turned into a boon for the investment banks that remained in the industry on ‘The Big Short’. That’s how some of us will be at the end of the month given that resizing is a must. It has come to us on the pretext of change. We have to accept it whether we like it or not. Those who fail to change will be like the once juggernaut of the computer world, HP. It has been struggling for the last part of the decade with dwindling sales and probable capital flight because of the business as usual mentality.

For quite some time, banks have always been very conservative. They have been making profits which looked farfetched because you need to ensure you act is right to attract investors who want a share through dividends, failure of which they will shift base to industries that have a performing balance sheet.

There is this theory in economics that the higher the demand the higher the price will be. That’s from an investment perspective. However, the theory of demand and supply states that the lower the price the higher the demand. Given that most people end up mimicking the behaviours of top investors in the country in which they are in, the result is either herding or information cascade.

Anyway, I love investments. I also love it when you have a basis for making a decision which should be forecasted whether or not the result will be favouring or impeding the strides achieved. As a matter of fact, it should be prudent to have analysts who will look at various scenarios to advice accordingly on the way forward before a given scenario comes into force.

As for the banks, they should have projected this very early on. There are people who are paid to idle around checking mails and attending meetings to strategize without using serious statistical data. Already, the shares of various banks are plummeting and they will continue doing so for the next couple of days before the situation turns alluring again. Which reminds me that there are contrarian investors who will reap big once the banks have put their act together.

I presume that in the event banks in Kenya had done exactly what the big banks in the world had done on the days preceding the enactment of the Banking Bill into law as the big banks had done by monitoring the situation day and night without rest during Brexit, the net effect would have been manageable. Some risks would have been reduced and mitigation measures taken in the short term to ensure the situation does not deteriorate like it has done almost going to the dogs.

What’s petrifying is the fact that there are some employees in the banking sector whose lives will never be the same again. Just when the sector had picked up and they were enjoying the fruits is when they have to face the axe. It’s worse for those who were raking in millions and had no alternative source of income. Such individuals may have taken mortgages, bought fuel guzzlers, registered to be members of posh clubs where they pay an arm and leg to sustain the status quo, some may have even taken their tots to the best international schools in the country where the curriculum is Bri’sh as a show of might. 

I guess the individual whose fate hangs on the balance is my immediate boss. Being the guy in charge of individuals who were doing credit cards only, it looks like the scenario will be grim before it turns attractive in the short term. I must say that I was among the few guys who got the privilege of being feted by him for having made sales before the card business was discontinued until further notice. Just like the others in the business, he does not know his fate. I remember listening to his pastime and felt like working for the bank for some time to get to a better position that comes with perks before I roll my sleeves and call it a day.

Like the guy is a member of a golf club, occasionally goes for exotic holidays, loves outdoor activity every weekend, raves during the weekdays in various high end clubs in town and still never realizes that it is payday. As opposed to him, I easily monitor the days because by midmonth, I am usually so beat up financially that I cannot easily cough a K for other obligations without feeling a pinch. He is even planning of going for the Malindi skydive yet he is barely 40. That’s kind of enviable especially when you are doing it with your own bucks.

As I wait for my fate which again is at a limbo, I am awed at the much I have learnt for the little while I have been working with many people in one room, though I will miss them. There are those who tell you stories they have gone through you feel like they would pen the same down and give it to you to update on your blog because they encourage and you realize you have yet to go through the worst scenarios.

Like a very sweet colleague told me of how she was able to get a first class yet there was a time her child broke her leg after landing from two floors while she was revising for exams. It was almost the same period she had delivered her last baby and had to go for exams, pick her tot after exams to go and take care of her other baby in the hospital who had broken a leg. Yet she still scored straight A’s during that semester which is not a mean feat while undergoing all that frustration and stress.

There is also this colleague who was seduced by a certain lady neighbour who was HIV positive in the ‘ploti’ they lived but since he was aware of her status after stumbling upon a note book where she had written about how her travail with the virus, he decided not to be amorous by putting his family also at risk. The lady had gone to his room with a night dress while his wife had gone to shags in hope that she would lure him but God has a way of protecting his people.

What encouraged me the most is a colleague I sit next to who told me that we are not going to be exiting but continuing with our jobs. She narrated a certain anecdote of a certain lady who dreamt that she will be eating the ripe fruits with her husband who was due for promotion. The promotion came with training in the forest where his life was not going to be guaranteed given it was always a risky venture as his hubby was a cop. The husband never went to the forest and was instead attached within the training institution at a senior level and they moved to a sole house where there was an avocado tree and they would sit down and relish when he was free from the daily hustle. It’s these kind of miracles that makes us strong

That’s life, whether or not I will be exciting from the scene, there is so much I have learnt. Obviously, even if I stay, it will never be the same again. I will have to reorganize myself before the ax comes calling. Given that this will be another long stretch; I am upbeat that I will still come out strong. Life in itself is a risk; the risk starts at conception. So as I mull over what waits yours truly, allow me to end with my signature phrase.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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LET ME SPEAK

I am courageous now.

I have become the guy who does not take the things that I am supposed to do serious. I love procrastinating a lot. Though I end up doing them altogether. It is a malady that recently manifested itself when I forgot that I needed to meet a certain colleague and I had forgot about it. When I later checked my phone, I had six missed calls which was alarming because I have never been so negligent in my life. It could be a mild amnesia that is as a result of being on drugs which a colleague realized were meant for a person who suffers from asthma.

When you get more than six missed calls and you are a salesperson, your heart beats faster especially when you think it was a customer who wanted to uptake a certain product that you were offering. It however turned out to be an internal customer, that is a colleague and since my phone was in silent mode, I just had to acknowledge it because ladies never take it easy when you ignore their calls. It does not resonate well with them. Hey, I know how it feels to be ignored. Anyway, that’s the life of a salesperson. Your calls sometimes get ignored to that point where you feel like the world is against you. But you get used to it so much so that you develop thick skin and sometimes go against the ground rules by changing tact which normally involves having to be big headed and when you realize you are chasing after the wind, you try someone else.

So there is this young hot doctor I went to see in Savanna Heath Centre, a clinic I had vowed never to go back to after being chased away by some ruthless nurse who never wanted to listen to us given that we had gone to see a client inside. Anyway, I decided to still go given that I never knew another clinic where I could get services from and the only reason why I was in need was because I was taking water to calm a cough that was consistently intensifying and it forced me to stop talking to a customer while talking over the phone. I have medical cover that serves to reduce on my dwindling fortunes.

I think some institutions should teach their employees the art of customer service. Which starts with the way a person talks. There is this nurse who thought that she was being polite by telling me, ‘Please wait!’ which she kept on insisting and since there were two people on the door, I could not be able to distinguish who she was referring to. Given that I had forgotten the protocol, I assumed that she was telling a lady who said she did not see a doctor in the room where she had gone to. When her eyes shifted towards me and the ‘please wait’ thing was almost turning into a sneer, I had to repose at the waiting bay. I remember a colleague who introduced me to the clinic trying to seduce this nurse but given that she had to act professional, she refused his offer of an out at a later date.

Ideally, what made me go back to the clinic was one femme fatale medic who had initially attended to me and I wanted to see her again. I have always wanted to go on a date with a doctor, because they are dexters, and they are the only persons can command a man to get naked and he will do it because he has no option. There is also this fascination that grew because there was one doctor student who challenged me about movies and I had to keep mum because certain arguments make no sense especially when it’s a lady you are trying to argue with.

Anyway, days later when the cough I had had no subsided, one of my colleagues asked why the doctor had prescribed a syrup which mostly works for tots. I told her the doctor knew best. Another was so curious since she thought that by a few days, I would be alright. She checked on the description of one the pills I was taking and realized that it was meant for people with asthma. Asthma! I have never had such incidences or is it an air borne disease? My colleague suffers from it and I took it lightly when he said that he was also given the same drugs when he went for check up in the clinic

Anyway.

Luckily, some seasoned employees who work for a certain doctor came to our office to notify us of the services they availed and I have to say that I have switched allegiance. I remember my colleague who took me to Savanna telling me that sometimes young guys were not effective in good diagnosis and prescription because our systems sometimes favour who you know when it comes to recruitment (though a fallacious argument). He gave me an incident where a certain lady was diagnosed with pneumonia in a certain emerging institution while in actual sense she had malaria because Nairobi has rare cases of the infection. It is only when the lady went to a seasoned physician is when she was able to better services.

Since my cough has kind of overstayed its welcome, I am planning to go to the seasoned doctor and see if he will help. It’s practical. On the positive front, my temperature, blood pressure and blood is safe. You know when you have a cough, one may associate it with the dreaded virus which some people have though they are immune to and given that at some point we shall all kick the bucket, they never mind getting it. Luckily for your truly, it’s just that I am allergic to something that activates the cough because this is not the first time I am experiencing it. Déjà vu.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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TILL WE MEET AGAIN

There was a hymn we loved singing while in high school when we were goiing for half-term or closing for the school holidays in high school. It was called ‘God Be With You Till We Meet Again’. It was a signature tune. Those who sang the loudest were form twos. Guess it was because of their new found seniority. The timid form ones never sang with such enthusiasm as the form twos because they would still come to the same form of life that all monos had to go through. Form threes were at least used to it and the worries of KCSE made form fours kind of indifferent except for a few. I sang the hymn again after many years, but not in a jovial mood. It was sang in sorrowful waves, and the haunting feeling of singing it in pain and rage.

There are things which sound surreal when you first hear about them. They come as a shocker and you wonder why they happened. Afterwards is when you come into terms that indeed, such incidences are indeed true. While at first you are in denial, the reality is that it has happened. The only prayer is that it does not happen again given that all of us want to see ourselves aging to be prosperous and be responsible citizens of the society.

When a close friend passes on, especially at a tender age, it usually comes as a stinker. There are several questions you ask as to the reason why it happened to a person who had just started the proletariat life after many years of going to school, arguably what we call 8-4-4. Those are sixteen years which you spend in primary, secondary and campus and when you finish, you thank the Almighty for having reached thus far. A graduation is what accompanies such accomplishment together with hard copy of pictures with a small crowd to celebrate the achievement. The only setback sometimes is usually the hustle that characterizes finding a job or having to do mediocre jobs before finding your true ground.

It had been years since we met. Then, when I had to see him again, he was stiff and silent in a casket that made him look innocent and boyish. Let me call him Vitti. Though his eyes were closed he didn't have the appearance of sleep, even in deep slumber no movements and a healthy glow to the skin. This corpse, so still on the earth, was his flesh and seeing it is how I knew he has departed. He has left us for a new life, for whatever follows this existence. And in that case the angel of death was tasked with lighting the way to the dimension the departing soul would be bound to for their next life.

We first met in form one when in a village cum town school in what we used to call LAZZ (Ladies attraction zone). Never mind that I never nurtured the skill of wooing ladies from then to date. I cannot complain though. At least, I am proud that they have been incidences where I have tried and the results have been a vicious cycle that I have even failed to explain.

Vitti was quite the guy when it came to ladies, perhaps a Casanova. In all the years we were in high school, there was that lady who used to be called his girlfriend. As a guy, he loved the fame that came with the idea of having a girlfriend. Little did I know that he had others who I came to learn of on his demise. One even ended up having his snap as a profile pic on Facebook to remind us that she was indeed still smitten but saddened by his sudden exodus.

At 26, we are usually ambitious but still in denial that death is with us and hovers around because the angel of death looks in all corners to pluck those whose time has come of age. As for Vitti, we usually considered him prodigious and a charming chap with a larger than life personality. When a friend departs in this age, especially under unclear circumstances, there is usually a grey area that needs to be authoritatively solved. As for us, we were a family. We usually met on social media just like other families who are either united by blood or a union that dates back to a moment when we were together, in this case, high school. Social media has bought us closer yet we are still very far from one another. We get to laugh, chat, organize for reunions if we have not met for a while, make fun of that one person who did have an impact in our life, fundraise for those in need of funds urgently for emergencies, and given that we want to belong, we never “left” as we never know when that association will come in handy.

When I first heard of the news of our fallen brother, I was thinking that I had been sent a wrong message to attend a right meeting of a person I had no idea about. For some reason, I had lost touch with people on all the social media platforms because I have Kabambe phone. Hence those who had changed their contacts were not within my horizon.  It therfore came as a surprise when a close friend I had lastly talked to the previous weekend alerted me on what had happened to Vitti.

“Kwani we hujaskia, Vitti ametuacha?” he said.

“Wa! Unajua sijakuwa whatsapp na FB siku mob.” I replied back.

We talked at length and he told me that the message was a reminder of what had happened given that the last time we had talked, he was on his way headed to the wedding of yet another high school pal who was tying the knot somewhere in West Pokot. It was not even a day and he was again being ambushed by the passing of a friend who had endured five academic years in campus to study to be a dental surgeon only to succumb at the formative stages of his career. In fact, he was still an intern. A person who was yet to start earning those figures that you can say he is now comfortable.

It was at that point that I wanted to know what could have gone wrong. I remember seeing some of his pictures on Facebook which he had taken with campus friends. In my mind, I thought something was wrong. While you cannot tell about the health of a friend given that he was also studying medicine, I could tell that he never looked in fine fettle as his friends. Even though he was a lean guy, there is this notion that people usually emulate the environment in which they are in. If your peers are developing (becoming fat), you will join the mix whether you like it or not. If you fail, you will try not to be a shadow of the others. As for yours truly, I am have maintained the weight I had since high school and given that I have been having dental problems, I don’t see myself growing bigger any soon.

Talking of dental complications, there was a time I did engage Vitti on Facebook. While chatting I remember asking him if he could do for me a refill for free even though he was a rookie in the field. Then he worked in Nakuru. I was going through hash periods of sometimes forfeiting meat because I could not chew with a cavity on a molar tooth. Things got worse when one day I was eating mapera and a seed broke the crown of a premolar leaving it exposed which forced me to seek the services of a dentist in one of the many hospitals in town.

I remember spending so much on my teeth I felt like removing them altogether but the idea of removal when you can refill deterred me from going for the worst case scenario. Vitti did advise but said he never offered free services. That is probably the last chat we ever had because he was a busy fellow and I am a social media recluse. I only read the gen friends have posted as opposed to getting into the conversation. I love live conversations.

Obviously, we wanted to know what had happened. The information we got was that he had arrived in the house drunk and went to sleep without taking any food that night. He lived with two cousins in Central Police Station from where he would commute daily to work. The cousins were astounded as to why he had gone to sleep quite early without taking anything on the eve of the night of his fall. When they went to check on him, he was not breathing steadily and they called the police who in turn rushed him to KNH where he was pronounced dead on arrival.  

Immediately, information started circulating that one Vitti had succumbed. It was not clear who it was until his well-known name was mentioned. It was a blow to us as alumni given that he was among the most dexterous individuals in our class in high school. Plus, he was a dentist, and individuals of this caliber are very rare in the country. Ideally, he was not only a wizard when it came to matters perusal, he was also a social guy who interacted with many. However, he rarely participated in any extracurricular activities in school. 

I can recall there was one thing he never went without the four years we were in school with him. Every day, as some of us would whistle, he was usually prepared and had a loaf to cool the lava hot tea which you had to take while hiding as hunger pangs wrestled your stomach. But given that I hated the embarrassment or asking for a pinch or borrowing money for a buying a loaf, I ended up taking my tea in whistlers’ corner. I guess he was well secured given that his father was once a teacher in the same institution before transferring to teach in a college on a fulltime basis.

From the post mortem results, it was concluded that he underwent internal bleeding in the head which caused his untimed death. We ended up concluding that it was either as a result of falling or being hit but given that we were just laymen and not pathologists, we could not arrive at a legit conclusion. Another theory was that there might have been poison in the liquor he was taking which in turn could have caused hemorrhage in capillaries in his brain.

The next few days we were able to assemble in a meeting for two different days. The first meeting was held in an open place where we had a small high school reunion. Many turned up because there was the urge of finding out what was the actual cause of the death. At such reunions, though it was supposed to be a gloomy occasion, we ended up having light moments of our various escapades in high school.

I distinctively recall a scenario where we formed a pentagon group in high school whereby we went and did some funny stuff in the company of Vitti. One of us ended up being expelled and in the event that he was a snitch, we would have suffered the same fate as he. However, he remained the man he was supposed to be and never revealed the secret which we shared with friends while reminiscing the good and bad moments we had in high school. During this rendezvous is when we were able to say where we worked after finishing campus. There are those who worked for enviable companies we wished we could work in such positions, there were salesmen like yours truly, and those who had just started out. Then we organised another meeting.

The next gathering was attended by many guys even though some who attended earlier were not able to make it. It was in a small meeting room which you pay for and you are supplied with chairs and a table. The crowd was huge and some were forced to stand except for the ladies who were allowed to sit. That was the day I got to learn of Vitti’s other girlfriends who some dubious characters wished he had sired a baby with so that his lineage could continue being seen even in his aftermath. That’s boys for you.

There was one of his high school girlfriend who was shocked when she realized that she was not the only lady as she never knew the other side dish even though they were both in high school in almost the same time. As for me, I only came to realize that they were his girlfriends in the meeting because I knew a different lady who was neither the two. Anyway, as men, we usually keep our secrets and ladies also know how to keep it cool.

The journey to send our friend to his last resting place was one that was characterized by high school memories. We talked about another high school mate who had succumbed but very few heard about it because we were still in campus and the idea of forming a Whatsapp group where we could share about such incidences had not surfaced. We talked of the guys who could not be able to clear campus because of falling into the trap of alcoholism at a tender age. I remember talking about a certain mate who we also went to campus with and could go past the first year because of illicit brew.

I love the fact that he reformed after serving some time behind bars due to unclear issues. He now sells smokies and eggs in Uhuru Park. While in my line of duty, he called me since I was not able to notice him and we had a lengthy chat even though I was not able to promote him given that I had no cash in my pocket. I remember a campus colleague telling me that he was once robbed of all valuables and had even lost some teeth but when I did check him out, he never lost even a single tooth like I had initially intimated to friends we went with for the interment of Vitti. However, he had dents on his head which he did hide with a hood as a result of the altercation which happened near Uhuru Highway while returning back to campus. Which reminds me that one day I should organize with friends so that we can go and buy those eggs from him as he was not complaining of the job.

We arrived in Kapsabet in the wee hours of the night and went straight to the home of the late where we sat and chin wagged on various pep talks. There are those guys who branched for ale in a pub opened by a former high school mate until it dawned. Such are the times we bankers were being cornered that we have reached a gridlock due to the capping of interest rates which banks had seen as coming and were not ill prepared as the masses tend to believe. On the contrary, for a bank salesperson, the ease of interest rate means more money if more customers take up loans. There was also an auditor who told us how they were at times being reprimanded when clients thought they would issue an unqualified statement instead of a qualified statement. Such are the times when partners in such firms are forced to review the opinion even though sometimes the customer is not always right. The sole software engineer remained as calm as a water in a pot.

A lawyer simplified legal jargon but when it got to deep investment matters, he could only give the legal perspective so much so that he shied away from investment related banter which I am quite adept. Vitti’s dad who teaches business in college said that I was well versed with matters investment even though I could not make it past online aptitude test level while applying for internship for a certain investment firm. Given such commendation, I felt like my studies in the CFA program had not gone to waste and I was able to be an ace when telling others about equities, fixed income and alternative investments. I still think there were those who would have loved to be simplified for all the business jargon that we had gone deep into.

While chatting, we did have some tea to warm our bodies because the Nandi weather is ever cold, it even rained. I remember telling guys that the bread we were not taking in copious amounts could have not seen the light of day at such times were we in high school. But the love for bread had withered as time has really flown yet it looks like yesterday. That day, I had four caps of tea which is not a norm for me. I usually have one and a maximum of two. But when you are duped into having more tea, you just consume because you never know the future only that there will be those incidences when you really want to pee.

When we finished partaking of tea, those who wanted to shower were given hot water for the same. However, most of us declined the offer in order to preserve our high school ethos. High school mentality of not showering had rekindled back. In high school, we rarely showed during cold season because of the weather and sometimes lack of water. Yet we felt alright without having a shower.

The grave was also dug that morning. Back in our place, the body of the deceased is usually brought in the home a day before the burial. The sepulcher is also dug the night before a person is laid to rest. We were able to participate in the process before we went to the morgue where the body was kept.

As opposed to my place where most people would love to go to the morgue to accompany the body for the funeral procession, there were very few people who went to the morgue. The bus that was ferrying us was virtually empty. I presumed most Kalenjin have a fear of the morgue. On the way, I sat alone and slept until I was woken up by the bus when it had stopped to turn to make it to the funeral parlor. One of my friends who was not fast asleep told me of how I was snoring which I did doubt because I also did dream and there is a theory that you cannot dream and snore at the same time.

The casket was placed on a bier outside where a short sermon was read by some deacons from the Anglican church. I cannot vividly remember the book or the verse but the fact that my former high school mate was now in a casket did strike. Such moments, that's when the atmosphere changes, you become pensive. There is always that part where the preacher says we are headed in the same direction and we should repent before our time comes. You stand and realize that you are all alone in this world. Such somber scenarios make you feel like it can happen to anyone. If it took him at such a tender age, then why not me.

When it came to viewing his body, I was among the first few who went to see him. For some people, viewing a body is a normally a nightmare. At the first glance of his corpse, I could tell the cause wasn't apparent but the chances of it being natural causes were remote. Young men don't just turn up dead for no good reason.

The procession from the morgue was like most where the hearse usually leads as the other vehicles follow. I still slept on the way back, only waking up near our former high school. When we arrived near his home, the bodaboda guys were waiting and they were the guys now leading the procession. Unlike in our place where such occasions are accompanied by siren and yowling as tree branches are waved in the air, there was no such incident. However, just like our place, crowds of people had gathered along the road in packets to witness the once brilliant guy who was among the first to score a straight A in the area. I remember standing on the bus alley to see what was happening. It did remind me of the many times we have ferried the departed souls back in our village. This was a real participation in a Kalenjin funeral and burial ceremony.

There is something I noticed during the burial of a Kalenjin, there is viewing of the body throughout the funeral ceremony. As for the peeps from my place, there is only one set time to view the body as you go to greet the family of the deceased.

The ceremony was one which was also characterized with a lot of bonding among former high school mates. Many had turned up to pay their last respect. It was a time to reunite though in an uneventful place where we had not scheduled but life scheduled it for us. That is the time the Facebook status updates of the deceased started being discussed in low tones. There were two updates spaced at a span of three years about death and dying before 30 because life can be brutal which had been written by the deceased. Nobody did understand that until we were now in the funeral.

Even though the death occurred within the vicinity of the police station, we were not ready to push so much to find out exactly what happened. It is not easy to trust the police to investigate a crime that happened within their jurisdiction.

When the funeral was over, we ate and I remember I was among the first few to go for food. I was feeling hungry and I remember I only had transport with me. In the event I used it to purchase any food, I would have been at a limbo. That’s why I ate before travelling back to the city. When guys saw me and a pal who offered to take me to eat also going to be served food, they joined in. At least, I was courageous enough to eat even though there were those in denial of feeling hungry yet they still lined up for the meal.

I must say I was lucky because I did find space in a car to Nakuru. A pal who was now driving an SUV offered to carry me. It was like a Godsend because I was able to save some cash given that my pockets were running dry. We were able to have another small fundraiser to back up the initial contribution to leave the family with. I guess that is the spirit of brotherhood. We remain united even in tough times. Which made me wish that those friends of mine who offered to be my clients would meet their end of the bargain. But human beings are tricky.

While on our way, we discussed the fate of those who had fallen victim to alcohol addiction. There was a case in point of one guy whose pictures even surfaced on our WhatsApp page in a very pathetic state. When I joined first year in campus, he was in his fourth year undertaking an engineering course which I did envy. But before we finished, he was introduced to ale by a former high school mate and he ended up getting so wasted that at present you cannot imagine he was an index one in a national school.

But the bottom line boils down to drinking responsibly or quitting and remaining sober because rehab is not cheap as I heard from a conversation with a rehabilitated guy. Again, you put your family in an indeterminate state given that most guys are usually in denial that they are addicts.

People eulogized Vitti as a bright young man who inspired many including one of his uncles who confessed that due to him ever being the top student in primary school, he had the obligation to work hard to go to university courtesy of his brilliant younger nephew.

PS: I had carried some forms to go and sign up one some of the mates who had promised to sign up for a credit card after the burial. I remember a regional sales manager telling us how she had used this tactic to become the best salesperson in the region where she worked (she used to target interment ceremonies of those she knew would take up the product she sold and take their numbers and it worked). My intention was to pull one like she had done, unluckily, none of those friends turned up to the occasion even after promising to. Friends should remain friends, right. They might frustrate you but they will still be friends in deed.

And on that note,

Hasta La Vista Baby. 

[Picture Source: Google Images] 

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IT SHALL BE WELL

Somehow, we all want a big break in life. A big break in our hustle so that we are better than the next average John or Jane. We need one to cross over to the other side of life, to be viewed as having made it years after struggling and the list is endless.

For lack of a better word, I am leaning towards the phrase ‘big break’ which I have repeated thrice. Anyway, I got a number of synonyms through Dr. Google and 'windfall' is what should replace the phrase.

Hitherto, I used to love the name we have been accorded as salesmen in our bank. We have this fancy name called ‘Lead Generator’ which sounds posher than being called a salesperson or a sales executive. Does it mean that roles have changed, not really? But we are better off with that name. Perhaps I should also change the status on my professional LinkedIn page to reflect my new found title fortune in a tier one bank.

Over the week, the country was so much engrossed in the pep talk on how the capping of interest rates was a godsend for the normal mwananchi who had to contend with high interest rates from the banks. This significantly means that they are going to start enjoying low rates failure of which the Central Bank will act in the event they do not cap comply with the new law.

Being the first line of defense when it comes to dealing with customers (which is obloquy as opposed to the title client because they are seeking after services). Obviously, we want a kismet in our endeavours. As for yours truly, getting many clients who uptake products from our firm will be like karma for me. This can be made easier if they refer me to other potential clients who will give me more business and the rest as we say is history.

Anyway, I read an op ed by one Larry Madowo on his exploits as a teenager who worked as salesman for a bank and I was left tongue in cheek because of what I can refer to a teenage rampage. Ideally, most teenagers never really know what they want to be in life. They think of so many careers, but never know that which they want. My bet is that he decided to be a salesperson to while away time. Little did he know that that would form a foundation of his journalism skills especially with regard to questioning clients who in his case are various individuals he interviews on various occasions. But one thing remains, the art of having people’s skills starts with selling.

While Larry may have painted an honest view of what he perceives of the profession of salesmanship, what he failed to understand is that there are so many people out there who survive on it and if given a chance to move to the next level, they would not or some went and returned back to the job they know best, selling.

This reminds me of the bestselling individual in our bank who I normally sit next to because our desks are on the same row. I remember eavesdropping to a conversation he was having with other vintage colleagues about a certain proposal he was given by another organisation to be employed on permanent basis with a figure slightly less than one hundred thousand.

‘Niliambia huyo HR sitaki hio kazi nikakata simu.’ He said.

“In fact, it was the HR who called me and said that she was going to give me an office, better terms or service and other benefits which I declined.”

“Unajua my monthly exenses run in excess of 200K and this lady wants me to be seated in the office the whole day only to be given 80K. I have told them to review my salary to something better past what I currently earn, failure of which I will not take the position.”

I was seated next to some two rookies who were recruited after me and told them of how this boy genius was talking and they did concur with him. He is usually sharp in his formal and casual wear and his cologne is mild for the occasion. Not the kind that screams even though it should be easygoing so that you don’t vex your imminent host.

What I love about this guy is the fact that when he is talking to a client over the phone, he usually takes over the conversation like a boss. He explains facts and scenarios like a person who has information at the palm of his hands. So, at the end of the day, he can be able to close so any deals such to chagrin of this blogger who should by now be making big bucks to take this blog to the next level. The next level here means finding a domain name, a webhost and a professionally designed web platform.

Anyway, when the money comes, I will do the same. Which reminds me that I also should be saving for it instead of waiting for the money to come. However, as for us in the selling business, sometimes it’s not about the lack of job in the market. It sometimes about the skills you gain in the process, the knowledge you get and the ability to make more money once you get steadfast in the business.

Has for me, there much more to be gained in terms of new insights, stories and most of all, getting engaged.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Photo Source: Google Images]

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