Breaking a sweat

Sweating is one of the best ways to flush out toxins from the excretory system. It helps maintain your temperature and, therefore, a healthy lifestyle. When salty drops run down the face, it means that you have engaged in an activity that is blowing a kiss of life into the body. I am not implying sweating because it is hot outside. I mean the glow as a result of physical exertion, most probably training. Being in an area with sweltering heat normally triggers sweating. However, it's a better way to discover the type of environment your body is conditioned to acclimate to.

Exercising remains the best way to invigorate the body and induce a healthy sweat. Yet, the mere thought of working out causes the body to instinctively cringe and involuntarily shudder. It is rarely an activity you approach with fervent zeal and enthusiasm. Very few can transform working out from being a daunting task into a rewarding ritual that makes the body look forward to such a positive experience.

Ideally, you force your body to go through the torture and discomfort associated with physical exercises. Even simple exercises like raising your arms can be challenging if you are not used to them. It may appear simple to hold your hands aloft for 2 minutes until you have to start progressing from easy to extra strenuous versions that add complexity. 

If you increase the number of repetitions and sets, then your body automatically ignites that burning sensation, which signals the onset of fatigue. It is normally a fiery sensation that builds muscle strength and endurance. Over time, you adapt and become more resilient. It is wise to make small changes over time. Do not expect to achieve it all at once. Evolve your habits to suit what you have immersed yourself in. However, if you make the mistake of forgoing consistency, you will easily regress.

Once in a while, I exercise because I sit a lot. In a day, I spend close to 12 hours seated. I could be working to make money or engage in other hobbies that involve sitting, like writing or reading. The two hobbies are closely linked and have a strong correlation. Therefore, I allocate a lot of time to them. Luckily, I can sharpen my mind and strengthen my mental muscular memory in bed. 

I normally flip through my phone or a read book. I prefer reading eBooks hence my phone is the one-stop shop for perusal. Currently, I have a few physical books. But I plan to increase my collection in the coming months. That said, it has never crossed my mind that I should go to a bookshop or even order some online.

While reading can be done in bed, writing requires a chair and desk to candidly engage in. Asked, I spend more time reading. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night because my sleep is disrupted because of a salivary chock, a cough or an impending pee. If I have not fallen back to sleep after thirty minutes, I usually turn to reading blogs. 

What works best is skimming through a book. Some sites offer free eBooks, provided you subscribe and become a platform member. As usual, the websites take advantage of your data and use it to their advantage to tailor advertisements that algorithms think suit your age, gender, and all other traits that they deduce from your profile given the kind of books you read. Of course, I clear cookies, cache, and web history after a while to avoid being marketed products that lead to frivolous purchases.

I often end up lousy and lethargic while indulging in the two hobbies. Fortunately, my body tends to signal that I should get moving to relieve the buildup of tension. Naturally, the body becomes clenched and tensed because of the sedentary and indoorsy lifestyle. My daily routine is simple: I wake up, brush my teeth, and shower. Then dive into the day. Subtly, if you work from home, like yours truly, there is a high likelihood you may get caught up in tasks that stretch for long without pausing for a breather.

That is where a smart band comes in handy. Depending on your lifestyle, after every 1 or two hours, you get a gentle reminder to be up and about. When you have been in the same state for a long time, you might become stiff due to prolonged inertia. That is why a band comes with ingenuous nudges to encourage you to stretch and stay limber.

One of the regions in the body that usually ends up in pain is the lower back. If you are not in a job that involves a lot of sitting, then stand is your posture. Standing is beneficial. You rarely end up in pain because at some point, you will walk.

That cannot be said of sitting. It is easy to forget to get up and move when I am busy involved in a task that occupies so much of my time. I normally suffer from lower back pains, and sometimes, I just overlook the issue because I see no need to work on the body. When I sit down to read, I have come up a strategy in where I do around 50 pages in one hour. Sometimes, depending on my mood, it can stretch to an hour and a half. Ideally, if I spend three hours reading, I do not notice that I was absorbed in the activity. 

Unfortunately, writing and reading occupy so much of my time to the  extent thatI forget that I need to stretch my body. I love lower back stretches because they are less intensive and help promote cardiovascular healing while strengthening the core. Exercises like body tilts, cobra pose, child pose, planks, bird dog pose and other exercises have come in handy lately. They help melt away stress, and you feel revitalized. The bridge helps with lowering back pain. It stabilizes the spine and delivers relief from discomfort in the strained area.

If you do not incorporate a workout regimen, you may end up having a slight stoop. You never notice that the body is in distress because you sit down longer than usual. No wonder there are mirrors in gyms to remind you to shape up. What I love about the exercises is that they are freely posted on various platforms. If you are a fitness buff, you can easily follow your preferred fitness influencer to keep fit. Alternatively, you can join like-minded individuals in the various gyms.

I rely heavily on YouTube for my workouts because it offers an array of exercises. Most exercises are tailored to suit your fitness level or the stage you are in life. You may opt for beginner-friendly exercises and then gradually advance to pro exercises. However, it is easier said than done. Workouts demand dedication and consistency. If you spend most of your time in the house, there is a high chance that you will be discouraged from working out. You might even give up. Few have the discipline to stay on course because you are causing pain. It's wise to join others. Being part of a group helps with motivation since you are not alone.

The results are what sometimes keep me going strong. After the pandemic, most jobs that did not involve meeting clients directly could be done from home. I have been working from home since. I have never looked back because it has offered me a chance to engage in what I love doing beyond the job I am paid for monthly. 

A self-employed chap once told me he cannot imagine being paid only 12 times in a year. Which is what I go through yearly. As a salaried employee, when you are financially stretched, you have to wait till the end of the month for your next paycheck. Meanwhile, depending on how his business operates, someone like him likely earns money more frequently—sometimes even hourly. Not forgetting that he charges depending on the customer. Sometimes I envy him. Take an Uber driver, for instance, turning up at the right location guarantees income, a privilege I don't have.

During the pandemic, I can recall I gained weight in all the wrong areas. I had massive adipose deposits around the belly, which made it hard to walk the way I once did. Even 5000 steps would leave me sweating as if I had been trapped up in a sudden downpour. That was the turning point that spurred my erratic fitness journey.

Along the way, my body regained its former shape. Like every journey, life is full of ups and downs. I have to work very hard because I have a pot belly. I used to do exercises that involved cutting down weight. Presently, I am fit judging by my body shape. However, when it comes to yoga-like exercises, that is where I draw the line.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

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HOPE

Against all odds.

Two seasoned colleagues were having some silly banter and I was listening to them in autopilot mode almost chocking with laughter while they were discussing about 'us'. Apparently, we were the latest guys to head hunted for some serious job and we were as such newbies in this out of the world corporation by Kenyan standards. We had to pass like 6 assessments to land this job and that is why we are what we call an elite group of employees. Actually, we are basically machines that reproduce what is already in black and white for analytical purposes by experienced analysts. Someone should teach us programming so that we can be analysts instead of digital transcribers. Even our employer knows that we are wired to work that way and since man must earn, we must get a life by constantly working like all those who make this world a better ( red bitter) place. The little you get is better than nothing at the end of the day. Mbona ukae idle kama kuna kazi hata kama ni peanuts unapewa. Is that not an adage for those who have been looking for gainful employment but can’t find when they find one?


Allow me to allude about a campus graduate I was having a conversation with, she was a girl I knew from my time as a student but she recently graduated. She was like, is the money we are supposed to be earning only enough for transport and rent. Nothing like entertainment or something. In my heart, I remembered how I had ambitions of earning a six figure salary when I had finished high school. Now, I am at the base of that pyramid of life working towards attaining self actualization in the later years of my life. I should have told her that you need to start from a certain point where you cannot be shaken when things go haywire. Obviously, that was an afterthought.

So, this two jamaas were literally talking behind my back and I could hear what they were saying. Let’s call the first dude Simba, and the second dude Picha.

Simba goes, “Kwa hawa watu wapya, ni mtu mgani unaona anakaa daktari daktari hivi, ule jamaa serious kuruka. Anadunga job ni kama hio tu ndio alikujia hapa?” 

My instincts were telling me that they were referring to me because I was seated alone away from guys we had been recruited with because the previous day, they told me they could not concentrate as I was breaking their ribs with constant punches of real anecdotes they thought were probably fabricated or something. I remember a colleague just laughing every other time I said something silly. Like I was telling them that sometimes a stray bullet by the boys in blue may hit you and instead of your family being aggrieved, you end up paying the police for the ammunition they used on you. God forbid, if you die, you end up being a state body before your copse is transferred to a morgue of your family's choice. It is something I saw with a relative who kissed the bullet here in Nairobi for abetting crime. Police were compensated when he was gunned down even though this was a case of mistaken identity. In the end, you sometimes end up saying, 'Ni mapenzi yake Jalali'. But deep down, you hurt and feel like 'shot to kill orders' should be applied to thugs fleeing in a getaway vehicle, not unarmed individuals like this guy who was gunned down even if he was in what police say was attempted robbery.

Another colleague even referred to me as a Mathare case. I had to take cover. I have since moved and love my new home. Away from making guys think I am a court jester. And ever since I moved from them, I have been having success with my earnings. Guess, sometimes we have to hive ourselves off when the going gets tough. Just for a few.

You see, I like making fun sometimes, like, when I am not being serious, I can really get petty and raunchy, and dirty. I think it’s a guy thing to be dirty dirty.

“Kwa hawa watu wako kwa hii room, unaona mseee mgani anakaa mwalimu. Hata si mwalimu tu, mode wa kitu kama CRE CRE hivi, unajua tu hao wasee. Hawakai kuwa na haraka na Maisha, wako tu.” Simba was telling Picha.

Picha then retorts back, “Unaona tule tudem tumekaa pale.” I think he was pointing them using his mouth or his eyes were darting in that direction in response to Simba’s question, "Hao ndio pefectet definition ya mode wa CRE, kwanza wale wa primary school hujifanya kuokoka na hakuna kitu wanajua. Wanashindda tu kuwaaambia story zile hakuna."

Damn, I was almost breaking into a wild one and because I was also sweating (the result of a held laugh), I decided to go to the loo to get sane again. Luckily, there is always water and tissue papers in plenty, you wash your face and wipe them wish tissue when things are hot under the visage. How else do you expect me to contain the simmering laughter when they were talking crass like class three pupils who had just seen two newcomers in their class? Kwani, men can be this petty, malingering behind someones back like wale mamathe wa ploti. 


I guess I looked more focused than I should have been. Perhaps, they should have found me during one of my theatrical days, combining fake and wild ideophones with gestures while speaking. When I am free and willing to let loose those thoughts that I harbor in my medulla oblongata flow, I can really get nasty. Never mind my non-biological use of that organ inside our head, guess I thought it refers to the cortex(memory organ) in the brain.

I think there is only one thing one must never lose in this world and that is hope for something good or a better tomorrow. We thus need motivation for the same. Constant motivation daily makes us forget our woes even when we are so much burdened and having a hard life. A life that only you know about, unless you let it be known to others who want to know the same about. The struggles we have to endure, the patience we have to stomach, the downfalls and pitfalls that make us strong, the victories that we conquer and are behind us, and always keeping hope alive. Because once you are hopeful, even the world will realize that you need something and it will slowly come to you.

We all have hope. At some point in life, I was hopeless, I was having those moments that I thought would last longer than they should. I was low and downcast. But when I look back, I should have not let those instances take the better of me. They should have been a lesson that I learn from. I am still on a learning pedestal. The only difference with ages ago is that I am more seasoned in the game than ever before.

What is there to hope for in life? Yes, the first thing is to be able to see tomorrow that never comes. Another thing is that when you see it, you will have money to spend after satiating your basic needs. We hope we will find it in abundance that we cannot spend all at once. Yet, we are never getting enough of it. It’s not a coincidence that those who get money are those who don’t have money problems. They are wealthy guys who want to maintain the status quo and keep their dynasty steadfast.


I sometimes hate money. Not the spending part though, I hate the part where it is the root of all our problems. I wish I could not have to work for the money bit. I wish I worked for personal fulfillment through meaningful work that is more geared towards bettering humanity and less of having capitalistic tenets. But we are in a world where money matters, I robustly admire moneyed guys, they make me want to be like them, yet I always tell myself, just be patient, things will look up and you will get it when the right time comes. It's a notion that I have to really disengage from like yesterday. Guess that is the reason why I am never in a hurry. Unlucky me. Tomorrow I will be a lucky guy, Inshallah.

Hasta La Vista Baby

[Photo Source: Pixabay]

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LAZY TO TADS

At the close of yesteryear, I was having exuberant charm to script. I would wake up in the morning and write three to five pages. I would write random thoughts about the babes in my life, the struggles, the victories, the transgressions, the people who mattered and those who peeved me I felt like kicking them in the butt. Then things happened and now all I do is wish I could get the synergy to rejuvenate my hitherto erstwhile proclivity for penning at least a story. Even just one for the sake of my skills and need to be up to par. Guess this is the price one must pay for seeking an education and only working in a reclusive aura that cares nothing about you other than the income you make while working.

This endemic laziness is systemic. It’s not normal per se. It began at the birth of the new year and it is now that I am starting to recover. I have a feeling it is self-induced rather than influenced by outside forces. Normally, I spend most of the time alone. As such, am finding it hard to concentrate for long hours on that which I should be obliged to accomplish. Am becoming a serial procrastinator who does not want to meet his own end of the bargain. Look at me now, I am even struggling to make sense of words for this new-found laziness that I don’t know emanated from where. It’s pricking and galling. I want to disentangle but the wit and stamina to accentuate the obligation keeps shirking, I am left in a state of incertitude. A state of paralysis caused by paranoia, perhaps. Where do I fall in this equation of unknown? How do I find X? The famous X in algebra.

As such, I want to be who I am. Yet when I try, I wish I was free. Free from the bondage that is self-inflicted, that consistently make me less of the person that I wish I should have been. Again, age is also catching up and there is the consistent challenge that I need to take myself to the next level. I am yet to discern where that level should be.

I kind of wish I was not a sloth. Well, realistically I am not one but I can be one literally. It’s a wish that I have all power at my sleeves to reign over. Wish it was that easier said than done, beggars would be seasoned equestrians. Maybe I should put caveats on my cuffs and with them, I also ensure that I have control measures counteracting what if events. Modeled though rational and unmatched self-control through Monte Carlo simulation, sensitivity and scenario analysis that is devoid of cognitive errors ensuring I am not averse to regrets. Yes, that’s the only way of getting out of this quagmire.

I think my inconsistency is causing my creativity to be banal. Like, I am trying hard to have picturesque notions that I have experienced but that is all in vain. Deja vu. Nothing is coming up in my mind that excites. Reminds me of the ‘Lazy Song’ by Bruno Mars. But I want to tell myself, ‘I am not lazy’ like 100 times just to reaffirm my now philosophy that each day I wake up, I have to see to it that I conquer something that hitherto was a challenge.

Yes, I think I should face challenges with the swagger of a lion, even amid lows, it still studiously goes for the prey with valour. I think laziness has everything to do with courage and mental disposition. What else can I intimate it to. Like, I watched a clip of a miniature horse by Ozzy Man. Well, this guy is the modern age narrator who tickles my fancy with his unbridled f bombs that are well ‘dictioned’ in his video reviews. The guy uses “flashing titties, destination fucked, massive spready, new position, lick the juice from the crack, proud to be a soft cock” and a hell lotta obscenities that require a durty durty mind to cipher. Apparently, that miniature horse was having a hard time jumping from the stable because it kept on having misconceived notions that it was supposed to jump to a very distant place. When it finally jumped from the stable down to the ground, Ozzy was like “Boom shakalaka, majestic as fuck” with a final “Ha-ha”. I also felt that moment and it was so emotional I felt like it was giving me goosebumps.

The way that miniature horse was raising its hind legs as if to say, “Ahoy, I have done it, I have made it” made me feel like yes, I can also do it and write something even if it as nonsensical as it is. Now I feel like I am slowly getting over the writer’s block and getting my groove back. I am thinking, will this last. Maybe yes. Yes, because I am obliged to do it rather than it being discretionary. ‘Lakini Haisulu!’, that is exactly what I tell myself when I have absconded my civil duty to update my blog or write conjured random thoughts that normally naturally pop up when I sit down to ruminate subconsciously while writing, which don’t last more than thirty minutes. Also, I am not working out anymore, neither am I sticking to dogmatic rigmaroles. It's a free world "dick heads". 

Investigating deeply, I have realized that it is probably work that has contributed to my lethargy. It can be exhausting and demanding. The result is that I sometimes have both mental exhaustion and my body becomes so weary at times, I feel like I should have relieved myself from these drudgery and dreary responsibilities that burden me but I am obliged to do them. Which I do religiously.

What I don’t fear is waking up in the morning. I still am a morning person and even though I don’t enjoy the scenery of dawn, I love the fact that I am awake most times in time to perform my duty of building the nation. Which I will continue doing in various facets that I can achieve while I still have the stamina to do so.

At day’s close, there is hope at the end of the tunnel. That things will go well and change is coming. I will be a victor once again, I will conquer my fears and with that, I will conquer the world.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: Pixabay]

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WORD PLAY

I found those mundanely used words (librettos) while Facebooking (sic, yet another one to purge) on Business Insider. However, like a true scribe, there is no caveat on my side as to whether or not to use the words. While there are words which rarely feature on my vocabulary among the fifteen; amazing, literally and irregardless. There is no denial some of them are addictive, when you try hard to eliminate them, it is the moment they keep recurring in your discourse. Like a child, what you are deterred from doing is what you end up effectuating, huwa inawasha au sivyo. Another word that should have been added is, ‘like’. Like I have been trying hard to eschew the use of ‘that’ in this first paragraph and frankly, I have achieved it.

While playing scrabble against the CPU on my phone, I came across words I would desire to use on my blog. Words like ‘eaux’ or ‘valvo’ or ‘psi’ or ‘qin’. These words had that red underline after typing, which most likely means they are not certified as English. They are words I probably may never use in my lingo in the near future because they signify no relevance in my diction apart from scoring points on scrabble. I must confess that I love Scrabble, a game I sometime take some long hiatus to play but when I find time, it is insanely addictive. There is only one opponent on CPU who I am kind of overwrought to play with since the bugger has been programmed to execute those seven letter moves and given that my ken is kind of obtund when it comes to making words out of letters, I have resigned. Mark you when you have either only vowels or consonants. They traumatize when the only word you can create is worth only two points.

If you listen to Maina in the morning, you are accustomed to his usual emphasis of the word 'Really'. As obnoxious as it may sound, his penchant for using it is somehow fiendish as it makes more and more listeners use it since in their opine, because Maina uses it, then it is cool to use it.

The word ‘went’ also caught my attention. Every other time you are asked to give details of where you walked to, skated to, drove to or flew to; chances are you will intimate to where went to, for example ‘I went to Ushago’. Yet it leaves so much room for speculation. At times divulging such details may make you sound arrogant among those who are of low social standing.

‘I flew to Mombasa via KQ Business class and upon arrival, found my chauffeur who drove me to my hotel room in a Rolls Royce. Since I was feeling jet lagged having just landed from Ipswich the other day, I had to take a nap before horse riding to Ali Barbour’ Cave Restaurant for some Drunken prawns and Fresh Calamari downed with an equally dissipated aperitif.’

Of course it’s not me, being this jobless bugger having resigned from work to concentrate on my studies for a while because the employer did not find my going to school palatable. As such am left to imagine how such places would look like because as a student with no source of comprehensive income, you only have books and Dr. Google to take you to places you only yearn for because of the money factor, which we earnestly searched for. Being the reticent type, it has been quite stodgy finding a somewhat fulfilling venture because of this nation’s notion that you need a pusher to be employed in places of reputable status. 

Since wallowing doing nothing is a no no for me, getting to design pictures for free when time allows because it also involves a lot of creativity and time keeps me going. Again, there are pending projects that need to be hastily accomplished in due course. Graphic design is enthralling, there is pleasure in seeing people appreciate that which you have taken your time to motif. I am not perfect in the skill still, yet I plan not to push it further. My quest is to pursue my career aspiration and live off it like others have done. These other skills are survival lifeskills for my blog. In the event there is an abrogation as to the career prospects not being tenable, then resorting to either being a graphic designer or writer or a full-time blogger will not be out of the question.   

The world has progressed from being parochial into more liberalized globe, the only set back is information and thus resources are confined to the few who use it to mint Benjamins they adversely use in reigning supreme on us using subtle machinations as we remain obsequious. Albeit we are livid, we kowtow because they are puppeteers who have strings they pull to effect dominance.

Which reminds me the story of Eva Kasaya and her search of employment from the maid employment bureaus. Maybe as a job seeker I should go to one of the many employment bureaus to search for work. There I can parade myself for the next available employer to come and check me out and determine if am worthy of the job or not by looking at me and questioning my competencies a little bit. Sometimes you have to get employed, move out of employment for a while then get employed before you find the real footing in life. Exploring is also the next possible option. Everyday bequeaths you something to be proud about even when the going is not as smooth.

There are days when you become distraught and have a potent feeling while there are those days when you get excited and the feelings though pro tem, make life a marvel. Again they say that holding on for too long when things are not working out essentially means that you are a slave unto yourself having no escape plan which should ideally be very discreet.

Do employment agencies honour their pledge, or are they conduits of exploiting the suffrage of those unemployed and those frustrated in jobs but hold on hoping lady luck will smile on them sooner. I realized being a hardworking, top performing, positive-minded employee isn't enough, and you may be giving out you best while in reality, the person on the other end thinks you are a lousy fellow whose value is not worth it. They just keep you in the meantime since they cannot find a competent employee to replace you since finding new employees is frustrating even for the employers themselves.

As time goes by, there is honing of skills to be very adept at that which you want to be. While other employers usually want a well baked employee to offer peanuts so that they can gain, they fail to provide competitive salaries so that there is no difference whether you continue staying or not. Our country has become a paper economy, we value certificates and money than ever before. Certificates though, cannot marshal you enough money as I saw some tweet in response to what you have but never use. For Floyd Mayweather, it was a backyard full of cars, as for a certain bugger, it was a Degree certificate. Mine helps in the pursuit of a professional education as much as it adds to my status because when I go to the countryside, people sometimes take my word as the gospel truth even though what am insinuating could be facile.

It saddens that as Africans, we still have no elaborate mechanism of providing viable avenues for those who are in search. Something is for sure though, like the Swahili proverb goes, ‘Anayetaka hachoki hata akichoka (huwa) keshapata’. As for yours truly, it's never about getting to work anymore, it’s about the conditions provided that matter.

Sometimes you work all day without being able to achieve something for yourself. When you go back home, there is nothing worthwhile you can do other than sleep. Because you are tired. And you work hoping that your dues will be ameliorated, instead they get attenuated as time goes by. However, time and tide does waits for no man. When you work to just make ends meet, there is a problem if the status quo is maintained, there should be an aspect of enjoyment and progress. When you cannot achieve that, then you need to hustle extra hard or air your tribulations so that you get to the place you desire.

As time goes by, you become wiser, and more worthy. You have a better perspective about this world. Those who cannot make it are those who quit or remain unassertive. Looking at the bigger picture, as a person, I am back on the drawing board. I have decided to dance the tune of life in the meantime. When my time of abundance will come, I will look back having gone through periods of pittance with the attitude of a victorious Ethiopian soldier from the battle of Adowa.

PS: I find people who upload nice pictures of themselves with red eyes, or it white eyes on social media too hideous. What is the purpose of that application used to remove red eyes on phone. Maybe having known how to remove it on Photoshop has made me hate some unnormal things people oversee.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Photo Source: My Own]

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ITS ABOUT TIME

Sometimes you feel like quitting, but only the faint hearted quit. Like a soldier you will not retreat or surrender at the altar of defeat. Real men never give up. They pick up the pieces and soldier on. It’s never an easy decision to continue. You falter several times before you get it right. And when you do so, you think it will be a smooth sail but it’s never the same. There is no sojourn amidst and like in the sea, you need to sail experiencing the rivers of pulsing light and as the lingering light is obliterated by the rapidly falling night until that time when you see the scythe of the beach, which has floury and feathery sand.

The sea is unpredictable. You don’t know when the tidal waves will be creeping with fury yet it had appeared like its slight quivery which was initially beguiling and had been welded into an extended splinter of perfection until it decided to rupture the serenity, rocking the bobbing yacht causing frenzy panic tantamount to the time when Titanic hit an iceberg and many souls got to see the other side of life.

It’s about that time you need to get out of the closet and face the world. That blurry place the where sea and sky melt into each other and is lost from sight hemming itself into a line of silver may never seem forthcoming. The transcendental experience that is interwoven with surrealism while at in the sea may be breathtaking. But not with the echo of a raspy rumbling from the enraged sea causing fusion of tremulousness to fear that there is the probity of disaster awaiting. Those times when the waves are really sloshing, slurping and slobbering with their salty lips. They pounce with a malicious stir, a warning from the ages.

As you clutch clumsily on whatever is in sight, the ebb and flow of time tinkers in your mind of how life has taken a different route. There is that déjà vu moment where memories of joy tinged with sadness become real because of the reclusivity of mental thoughts that are oscillating inside out and you feel like there should be a preamble. It’s never happening though!

The folly of man is that when one hurdle is conquered, it is usually a time to regress. Compounded by contentment, this is what the concocted recipe for misfortune subtly spooks into. None should define you. It’s a marvel that most people soon get to a gladden state of comfort after surmounting a feasible challenge (sadly, am a party). It’s about that time you got your act together and press harder. The harder it is the more spatially visual minded and intelligently associative and intuitive you will nurture courage to transcend pilot quandary so much so that it will be tricky finding your actual divergence or convergence even if life gives you that hard horrific stare.

The flight of a bird as it swims in the air is hypnotic. Does it burgle your soul when your train of thought is broken by such an elegant bird in the sky? The polished brilliance it adds to the beauty of the aura has a multisensory nourishment that is caviar for the soul. The first glimpse it makes as it ghosts into view is squint but still breathtaking. However, never mince with the cannibal eye. It googles. And on spotting a target, it swoops towards it like an avenging angel of death. It’s the pirate bird. The target is your sausage roll, it’s tangy and the aromatic smell makes you toss it violently in the air as you shudder on the ramifications of the imminent.  It never reaches the ground because this vampire is attacking it in a frenzy of barbarian proportions. Soon the noisy marauder disappears into the distance crying out in a triumphant voice. Only, you have a zingy trace of what you had intended to gobble. You resign to fate with no attribution. Not even a morsel is detectable. That is life.

You recall about him. His cobra-black fur burns brilliant under the moonlight. His mocha-brown eyes makes his grouchy face seizing for a newbie. Still he looks like a nondescript. His bushy tail is wagging intermittently portraying his protective personality. And when he barks, the sound is bottle thunder. This accentuates his powerful and aerodynamic body full of vigor which makes it as swift as a cheetah. His huge fangs are scary when irate giving you the look of doom, and he can be as temperamental as the vampires in The Green Inferno if affronted. He’s quite the character. This wonderful specimen just gets the tension in you to melt away leisurely like a cold Ice-cream exposed to torrid heat in the sandy dunes of Kalahari.

As you skritch his fur against the grain of the spine from the base of the tail, you feel that tinge of relief that is unmatched. You had lost, the only chow. But now you forget about all the ordeal and day’s recalcitrance. It’s about time.

HASTA LA VISTA BABY.

[Picture Source: Pixabay.com]

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REFLECTIONS

It’s almost a year ever since this blog got rejuvenated in terms of content posting after staying in hibernation untouched for close to two years since its inception. Actually, reminiscing the past, I can well say I have gotten more sluggish and indolent about the whole inkling of making an undeterred scribe. Not anymore. The dreams of going commercial or public are still under the woods or are underground in street parlance due to matters personal to the heart. I now wish I could muster the courage to write a book irrespective of the fact that I am even more than sure I may reach a point where I will be disillusioned and never write whatever I had in mind, because of having lost the motivation or imagination.

If this blog has become a struggle as I currently envisage my candour as a demurred grapnel at the onset of anchorage. This is because I have been sluggish to read any books and writing on a daily basis is now farfetched. Coming from a relatively middle class background, I have somehow developed deep feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. They decapitate my ambition sometimes much to my blogs chagrin because it has good content but no readers.

There is one kid I read about on the dailies but I have forgotten his name who kept his manuscript undisclosed until that point in time when he was published. My blog is still under such wraps until that point I will get a good designer to redo it and acquire a sensible domain name having maximized on effective search engine optimization or advertising on the social media platforms or the dominant search engines.

But hey! While I am not doing great in terms of the force I had started with in terms of writing, I can aptly say that just like whiskey, the more it ages and matures, the better I have become. When I consider the far that I have reached, I am no longer doubtful that it is something deep that drives me to do that which am doing. Money may be a major motivation but it ceases being a compelling force on my part. There is something about brilliance; it can never be replaced no matter what. If you are good, you are. But I also am sure that with hard work, the sky is the limit. Like I only spent say three or four months getting to know about graphic design and alas, while I may not be as creative and imaginative as some of those designs I admire, I can avidly say that the fruits of my labour have been partly achieved. Sometimes taking the initiative to learn on your own is rewarding even though the severity is what most cannot condone because learning something on YouTube or textbook and executing it can be a challenging endeavour.

Sometimes I wish I could have been a master orator, someone who can talk and capture the attention of an audience using banal anecdotes told in a passionate appeal, telling unmatched punch lines and with strong transitions executed smoothly with a vocal delivery that has a message that the audience is convinced of and will take with them. I want to get to that point where I can calmly adjust my delivery depending on how my audience engages with my material while on stage or on any other worthy platform.  There are times when I ponder how I will engage an audience, by getting them to laugh, cheer, gasp, or have any other emotional reaction. Since it usually takes time to get there, I am willing to patiently wait even if it means it will never see me do it while still alive. God forbid though! If it comes when am no longer in existence, then my lingering ghosts will be proud of what I did that is if I may never get to have children.

Oh! I know children make parents want to live to see them grow. I want my children to have a life that will not only be fulfilling but also worth living. Since I cannot deliver and provide that which I want for them, I will still give the marriage business a wide berth. It’s practical. Why should I let the mother and the child suffer because I cannot provide. I am not going to risk having a child. Not sooner. But again, no prospective woman is in mind. The one I had in mind is evasive and that is what I want. It takes me away from the troubles of thinking about someone else. She thinks I am unpredictable yet am as ordinary as the random Joe.

Ideally, women can't believe we men are so unobservant. This is aptly the reason why most people who get involved in accidents are men. Research shows that we are more a product of our biology than the victims of social stereotypes. We are different because our brain is wired differently. This causes us to perceive the world in different ways and have different values and priorities. Which could be the reason why the woman I am pursuing and I usually spend too much thinking about may find some of the very mundane things I intimate to her very fallacious.

'It's obvious that women are smarter than men. Think about it - diamonds are a girl's best friend; man's best friend is a dog. ' Joan Rivers

That was just a by-the-way. Onto more important matters now. How good it feels to know that beyond the shadow of the doubt I have, the information, strategies, philosophies, and skills that I have gained as far could assist any one of these people I envisage to indulge in empowering themselves to make the changes they desire most!

A flood of images and emotions will flow over me when I reach that point in time in life. I will have attained self-actualization, which some think has to do with having financial freedom or amassing vast wealth and assets which I cannot deny I am also in pursuit of, but the most important aspect is leaving an indelible mark in the hearts of people so that they will profess of how you aided them in overcoming one or two hurdles bestowed by mother nature.

Yet most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives. Controlled focus is like a laser beam that can cut through anything that seems to be stopping you. I wish I knew this earlier on in life to sharpen my skills so that they are at that level where they can no longer be flaccid.

When we focus consistently on improvement in any area, we develop unique distinctions on how to make that area better. Each of us has a talent, a gift, our own bit of genius just waiting to be tapped and harnessed to change the way humanity has envisaged itself.

As a matter of fact, I decided that somehow I must contribute in some way that would live on long after I was gone. I'm constantly figuring out how to communicate this knowledge with people in ways that truly empower them to improve their mental, emotional, physical, and financial destinies.

And I will succeed because I have understood the power of a truly committed decision that when acted upon, no matter what the conditions, on a continuous basis will eventually bring back the intended results.

Deciding to commit myself to long-term results, rather than short-term fixes, is as important as any decision I have made in my lifetime. Failing to do this can cause not only result in massive financial or societal pain, but sometimes even the ultimate personal pain. In that regard, I raised my standards, backed them up with new beliefs, and implemented the strategies I know I must. You may have heard of the Six "P" Formula. It says, "Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance."

This post cannot be complete without the mention that I have many posts that are hanging and need to be acted upon like yesterday. They somehow make me feel bad because I usually never plan prior to doing that which I am supposed to be doing. I am so full of procrastination. More than ten posts are still hanging which was not the intention of this blog.

When I started, I was very pessimistic about life and all that has to do with making in general. But as I progress, I am fully aware that courage and confidence will reinvent the person in me to achieve unmatched potential in life if well moderated so that it never reeks of arrogance. However, I am poignant that I will get there. I am not going to be chasing after nothing in particular with matters concerning life. Neither will I be betrothed to societal folly of peers herd mentality.

HASTA LA VISTA BABY.

[Picture Source: My Own]

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JALUO OKSECHI

Sometimes I usually try to kill a mosquito and it flies away acrobatically and I am left clapping on imaginary creatures. It's undoubtedly piquing when it has just sucked the hell out of your blood leaving you feeling like scratching the region after it has drunk to its fill. The downside in the case of mosquito bites is that this triggers an inflammatory response causing the bite region to swell into a nice protruding bump on the skin.  

So why does scratching the mosquito bite make it worse?  Because this irritates and inflames the area even more, resulting in your immune system kicking into overdrive to try to get rid of the foreign substance.  So this means more inflammation for you, resulting in an escalating swelling, itchy bump that just won’t go away.

Jaluo oksechi, A luo never pleads. There are those times you usually feel like the world is not heading in the direction that you wanted. You feel so low to a point you want to get out of your skin and let the earth split open and swallow you alive. Frustrations take the better of you and you develop antagonistic and withdrawal symptoms. Albeit, to make it into that place you envisioned takes time. It involves sacrifices, you need to constantly reflect on the progress you are making if valid or you are just getting fagged.

The first time I saw the inscription Jaluo oksechi,  I was not aware of the significance of the term till that point where I had internalized it. The words were engraved on the t-shirt of a certain lady who I met in one of the many social places in Nairobi. She was adorned in tight green pants that aptly signified she was a 'Gor Mahia'  fan. The mix and match of a white t-shirt and green pants never betrayed her.

“Nyako ber gi toke.”

Wacha nikusho. This was the kind of lady who had a fuller bust heavily supported by a camera bra and a heavily protruding derriere that only Saartjie Baartman could rival. The kind that makes all men turn to take a glimpse at what her mama gave her. It looked like her booty was kissing the pants and her hips tightly hugging it from the sides. Her thick thighs gyrated seductively while strutting you surely had to ogle if a lover of BBW. I was tempted, tempted to touch. To quench my thirst for her fundamendos. She was not exquisitely pretty. Just average with heavy make-up on her face and a River-Road like wig or weave that kind of made her look like a Jezebel. This is what you call a high maintenance chic. Cheap but very expensive. And volatile like a nuclear weapon.

Trust me, Luo joints with buggers in their thirties to fifties are a hell full of boredom. That is for the average bloke. Soft rhumba music accompanied by a live band rents the air to assuage the aged patrons. Probably a musician like Johnny Junior or Emma Jalamo will be on stage. Singing about some lady, as his languid dancers who are rumored to be his clandes shake it nice and slow awaiting for the climax of the song to twerk it real hard. There is no doubt that most are under ART. Kuome kata ondilo. But they have embraced it. You never know they are living positively. Until someone tells you they are. They however live recklessly. If their lifestyle is anything to go by.

Obviously, you will not fail to see some mature ladies imbibing Guinness Kubwa as the men accompanying them take Smirnoff Ice. But the crowd loves Tusker baridi. You will find a burly fella with equally voluptuous damsels who are obviously gold-digging in a corner where ‘mesa otho rateng’. There are times they will kiss and dance to the tune each lady trying to grab the attention of the man bankrolling them out. Probably, a bottle of Jameson or a common whisky is on the table. He also has his ‘star’ keys tightly clutched that he has to use when calling the waiter. A brand loyal who has no house in the rurals. 

Then some hot ladies are scantily dressed whose aim is to ‘pita na’ an inebriated chap. Their miniskirts are way too revealing. Yellow faces, pouty red lips,  darkened fingers and legs,  boobs that struggle for attention with a cleavage that almost bares it all and big tushes that are probably stuffed or hardened with silicon or gikmakamago. Some have shaved like pugilist Mohamed Ali in his heydays. They sip a single Schweppes or Snapp for long obviously looking at their prey eyes set for incentives after engaging in the devil’s dance.

There are plenty of rascals also. Either they have accompanied a person who sponsors them or just wants to ‘yuo thing’ as one musician sang ‘Tho Luro’. A middle aged man dazzles as he cavorts in styles that captures one’s attention. ‘Oketo long ei third floor’.

You notice the way he twirls his belt in slow motion as he convolutes himself to the rhythm. Then there is a way he makes certain faces that make you think he is going to do something queer then retorts into a meek position much to the applause of revelers. He takes the stage where the resident musician is doing his thing.

You see, Luo musicians never fail to hurl invectives once in a while as they sing. Plus, they throw in the names of people present who depart with big sums of money as they listen to their names being sung to all and sundry.

In the gents there is this guy who intimates, ‘Omera wuon bar ni yuto! Ineno kaka chwo ng’eny e choo ka to lare ka dhako momonj.’

Surely, you can never beat a River-lake Nilotic speaker when it comes to getting his act right in matters of having a good time after a week full of pressure and meeting deadlines.

Lakini, Jaluo Oksechga. And I have to also go by that mantra, Okabisecho.

Till next time.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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THIS BLOG CALLED GHAFLA!

Addiction is the word when it comes to Ghafla! I have tried to deactivate my mind from the notion of thinking about this blog but it has become like the virulent cocaine in my system (Someday I will see this stuff coz I only see it on telly). Ghafla! It has grown from a ragtag blog that used to cherish showcasing nude women as a measure of attracting traffic to a more professional (sic) site over the years that has credibility and probably reliable. Actually I believe it has not yet got to that standard of being termed as fully professional, maybe say amateur. In fact quitting Ghafla will take more than good intentions and goodwill and being convinced it does not add value in my life. I have it as a speed dial on my phone just to check on what’s hot and trending. 

I love gossip (Who doesn't anyway, the blogs force you to like them because they rely on it). While I am yet to find an author in Ghafla who has a way of magically using words that obliterate the average Joe in penmanship into smithereens, their art in delivery is simply more than magical, scintillating and laxative- fuck I had to use this word though in a word- breathtaking. They are pestering, rabid and vociferous. Like the bible affirms, "Remind them even if they are on the know." Somewhere in 2 Peter Chapter 1. My uncle knows how to put it best in jeng. 'Par ne gi uru kata ging'eyo.'

Their slogan is perhaps what draws one more closer as it ideally matches what they promise to deliver- 'Fighting Boredom | Promoting Stardom.' Methinks they should re-brand to something like promoting ratchetness to stardom. Why? Good question if you may have asked. Ghafla promotes some of our ladies as sex objects and their stories are centered on these ladies- both connoisseurs and upcoming. They have redefined the word socialite. As long as you have a big curvaceous booty (men never get enough of these) that in a way let those final curves collide to meet a nice contoured butt, smooth, well toned and cellulite-less thighs, a triangle at top inside thigh which light and air can pass, that would be perfection very rarely seen, a penchant for publicity and photos to validate the same that have been neatly photoshopped. You are good to go.

And the number of prostitutes in the name of socialites that the blog make us believe are having a rosy lifestyle, (indeed lying to the average Jane is as easy as ABC) are skyrocketing by the day. If I was a lady, I would fake it till I make it. What with the increasing number of outlets in town offering avenues of skin lightening, fake doctors injecting the booty with silicon (read cement) and of course make up that you can find cheaply before making it or crossing the river to the other side of prosperity (read weaves of Sh. 5million and shoes of sh. 2million). And probably spend more time in the gym to have a body to die for because men are visual creatures.

I sometimes usually listen to the reaction of some of the socialites on blog who are interviewed and their videos uploaded on their YouTube Handle having gone to Ghafla offices. The girls fit the role society has bestowed on them. I usually feel like they are giving me strong and high octane emetic owing to the fact that they are  overrated and proving more ratchet and obtuse.

However, they give men what they want. I am sure that dude of Ghafla Guy And Girl has his phone in constant activity especially on a Friday when men want to unwind with a beautiful damsel by their side. Oh and he could be a better PIMP if he whets his acumen and discovers he is holding onto a gem that can rake in millions. In the US, that momentarily gives you a clout and good avenue to break even and start swimming in the world of profusion.

Work ethic however can’t allow that. It would be suicidal. Especially if reported, but who cares. You can always chameleon your way out of trouble. However this requires a Dexter who does not fumble. I doubt the chap has the acuity of pulling the scheme and smiling all the way to the bank.

The surge and growth of Ghafla as a force to reckon with has been geometric and colossal. When you think it is kicking the bucket, like the ubiquitous cat with nine lives, it resurfaces. Niaje died and went under and was interred. It resurrected but things have never been the same again. Not Ghafla. It has endured the pitfalls of the blogging world to be among the very best if not the best in the country, razzmatazz is the word. While they rival magazines like Pulse and Buzz, they still need to come up with new ways that will lead the two struggling magazines to actually go six feet under. They may lead them to their deathbed because what is found in the magazines is simplified by this blog among many other blogs that scramble for hits using gen that others have used resources to collect and acquire.

The emergence of many blogs that flout the laws on copyright infringement which are not being reined on by CA is one issue that should actually be addressed. While I tend to think that most of the information that Ghafla relays to its readers is authentic, the fact that other blogs are offering nothing other than tarnishing the reputation of famous people in the name of making money online should be in fact be chastised as it amounts to career wreckage to the individual. Their copy paste approach usually gets into my nerves literally. No creativity whatsoever, just stealing. In academic lingo, plagiarism is one set back that is killing the blogosphere in Kenya.

I love the fact that Ghafla has cut a niche in the way it has been able to stick to the Kenyan entertainment scene. This has been the major folly among many blogs that never know what they really want to dwell on. It is sometimes tempting to deviate but trust Ghafla to remain on course. Specialization is never easy, it requires being steadfast. You may want to engage in it but finding motivated individuals who are passionate about what you are doing is usually a hard task that most find it hard to implement and stand by the stratagems.

Influencing people in a positive manner is one thing that I am sure the site has failed to dwell on. It carries out stories that are so mundane and although they are almost the same, there is nothing much one can expect. ‘Hazinijengi’ is what I can attest to how I feel about the stories that Ghafla carries out. You sometimes want to read a story that is inspiring, out of the world, of things that are accurate especially that relate to how you can get to the next level in terms of fulfillment but you only find empty words. There is nothing for the average Joe that will give him a new dawn or wow them into beliving that indeed super-humans do exist.

Sometimes back, reading the blog was very interesting because they relayed the information in a terse manner and you would not spend all your time reading a story. They had mastered the art of hitting the nail on the head, brevity and going straight to the point when delivering. The idea of many pages for a single story was never part of the plot or the script. Ideally, when you want to make someone read or see what you are doing, never let him go through many hurdles. It’s not like one is sitting for an exam to read all that content. And since most people rely on Safcom bundles, you need to be considerate because opening so many pages is not only annoying but also poverising.

I love the fact that Ghafla ventured in stories that the conservative media failed in addressing, porn, prostitution, and well glorifying sex which is untoward morally in the conservative African setting. However, Standard Digital Entertainment wing of Standard Digital still offers this blog a run for their money (damn those stories are a must read). They deliver stories that people want. Funding has also made them better off. But again, Ghafla compensates on this by giving many stories and being their five days a week.

Awhile back, I used to read this blog because they summarized all the hot pepper gossip from all the major media houses, just to ensure that they had something on their blog. That the blog has grown is not a lie. They have the requisite muscles and influence and they have made many people famous (). Their advertising wing has really done a tremendous job. I can’t lie that I have at times been influenced to some extent by them. All in all, I pass by the weblog because I consider the site a place to unwind. It is serious.

The Ghafla girls, these girls are hot, like hotter than fire and their beauty is bewildering. They have the looks, Fundamentals and rangi ya thao. You ogle at them and you wish. But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride on them. I once saw a chic I knew from Campus who made it to be a Ghafla girl and thought she had stooped so low. Then, I thought that it was an avenue of profiling yourself as a prostitute because ideally, most of the chics who had been profiled were reeking of being hoes. Unbeknownst to me, the chic was actually a model- those who do clothes. While I cannot surmise that models are also ladies of the night. One thing that is true, everyone wants money, how it comes or how you make it does not matter. As long as you pay your bills, never give a damn about what the world things. Money is power.

This reminds me of a certain lady who said that in the event she got an avenue of getting free money through being a high class prostitute, she would take the opportunity like yesterday with open arms. In her opinion, as long as you are sleeping with a man and he pays, there is no crime. Willing buyer, willing seller. (The chic liked shopping, feeling cool and all that, those who consider themselves as expensive). In this world, make hay while the sun shine.

I bet the Ghafla girls usually give some ladies headaches because the hotels they hang out in, the well toned bodies and their small tummies that excite the average male not forgetting the fact that those ladies have the requisite attire to accentuate their curves.

Sometimes I wonder why the site come up with list like; top ten celebrities who have won in a fart festival by farting loudly and that which clings to your olfactory senses long after you left the scene you need a gas mask, Top ten female celebrities who are still virgins but going out with elderly men because the have the shekels, List of men who have had a dry spell in the last five weeks and the list of titles is endless.

But I bet Ghafla it may be fair TMZ in Kenya. Trending Newsroom and Mpasho just come second to this site. A plus for Ghafla is that they have enabled mobile view in the site. However, the annoying advertisements sometimes put me off. If only Ghafla could minimize on too much advertisement. Another drawback is that they only work during the weekdays like some white collar executives.

Trust Ghafla to have mustered their audience. They brandish names such as Corazon, Huddah, Vera, not forgetting Risper. These names have built the site to what it has become.

Trust Ghafla to glorify what they are not supposed to. They have influenced even the born again self confessed Christians to backslide. How can a socialite who still plies the trade acknowledge that she is saved? Sometimes I tend to think that religion is something personal and even though we have gospel artistes who drink booze, that is their personal life. Which we are VERY interested in. Mulika Mwizi however. Professing faith and not being a stickler to it yet you get paid through it is actually being a con.

The regular contributors of Ghafla should adopt a strategy that does not stick to what is obvious. They should have a paradigm shift and try other new things because they have become too predictable. You never get the urge to open the pages to read the stories they are trying to let the reader peruse. A quick bird’s eye on the home page gives one the idea of what the writers are trying to let you know. That is make you open the link to read the story.

I can’t single out one writer who I can attribute to being my favorite. I read their stories because they are writers and reading is my favourite pastime
Sadly, the site has been having technical hitches in the way making it go down sometimes, failing to respond in phones when you want to see pictures and maybe too much pressure from having high traffic. 

SITUONANE.

PS:

[Photo Source: Google Images (Various)]

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