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There was a hymn we loved singing while in high school when we
were goiing for half-term or closing for the school holidays in high school. It was called ‘God Be With You Till We Meet Again’. It
was a signature tune. Those who sang the loudest were form twos. Guess it was because
of their new found seniority. The timid form ones never sang with such enthusiasm
as the form twos because they would still come to the same form of life that
all monos had to go through. Form threes were at least used to it and the
worries of KCSE made form fours kind of indifferent except for a few.
There
are things which sound surreal when you first hear about them. They come as a
shocker and you wonder why they happened. Afterwards is when you come into
terms that indeed, such incidences are indeed true. While at first you are in
denial, the reality is that it has happened. The only prayer is that it
does not happen again given that all of us want to see ourselves aging to be
prosperous and be responsible citizens of the society.
When
a close friend passes on, especially at a tender age, it usually comes as a
stinker. There are several questions you ask as to the reason why it happened
to a person who had just started the proletariat life after many years of going
to school, arguably what we call 8-4-4. Those are sixteen years which you spend
in primary, secondary and campus and when you finish, you thank the Almighty
for having reached thus far. A graduation is what accompanies such
accomplishment together with hard copy of pictures with a small crowd to
celebrate the achievement. The only setback sometimes is usually the hustle
that characterizes finding a job or having to do mediocre jobs before finding
your true ground.
It
had been years since we met. Then, when I had to see him again, he was stiff
and silent in a casket that made him look innocent and boyish. Let me call him Vitti.
Though his eyes were closed he didn't have the appearance of sleep, even in
deep slumber no movements and a healthy glow to the skin. This corpse, so still
on the earth, was his flesh and seeing it is how I knew he has departed. He has
left us for a new life, for whatever follows this existence. And in that case the angel of death was tasked with lighting the
way to the dimension the departing soul would be bound to for their next life.
We
first met in form one when in a village cum town school in what we used to call
LAZZ (Ladies attraction zone). Never mind that I never nurtured the skill of
wooing ladies from then to date. I cannot complain though. At least, I am proud
that they have been incidences where I have tried and the results have been a
vicious cycle that I have even failed to explain.
Vitti
was quite the guy when it came to ladies, perhaps a Casanova. In all the years
we were in high school, there was that lady who used to be called his
girlfriend. As a guy, he loved the fame that came with the idea of having a
girlfriend. Little did I know that he had others who I came to learn of on
his demise. One even ended up having his snap as a profile pic on Facebook to remind us
that she was indeed still smitten but saddened by his sudden exodus.
At
26, we are usually ambitious but still in denial that death is with us and
hovers around because the angel of death looks in all corners to pluck those
whose time has come of age. As for Vitti, we usually considered him prodigious
and a charming chap with a larger than life personality. When a friend departs
in this age, especially under unclear circumstances, there is usually a grey
area that needs to be authoritatively solved. As for us, we were a family. We
usually met on social media just like other families who are either united by
blood or a union that dates back to a moment when we were together, in this case, high school. Social
media has bought us closer yet we are still very far from one another. We get
to laugh, chat, organize for reunions if we have not met for a while, make fun
of that one person who did have an impact in our life, fundraise for those in
need of funds urgently for emergencies, and given that we want to belong, we
never “left” as we never know when that association will come in handy.
When
I first heard of the news of our fallen brother, I was thinking that I had been
sent a wrong message to attend a right meeting of a person I had no idea about. For
some reason, I had lost touch with people on all the social media platforms because I have Kabambe phone.
Hence those who had changed their contacts were not within my horizon. It therfore came as a surprise when a close friend
I had lastly talked to the previous weekend alerted me on what had happened to Vitti.
“Kwani we hujaskia, Vitti ametuacha?” he
said.
“Wa! Unajua sijakuwa whatsapp na FB siku mob.”
I replied back.
We
talked at length and he told me that the message was a reminder of what had
happened given that the last time we had talked, he was on his way headed to
the wedding of yet another high school pal who was tying the knot somewhere in
West Pokot. It was not even a day and he was again being ambushed by the
passing of a friend who had endured five academic years in campus to study to
be a dental surgeon only to succumb at the formative stages of his career. In
fact, he was still an intern. A person who was yet to start earning those
figures that you can say he is now comfortable.
It
was at that point that I wanted to know what could have gone wrong. I remember
seeing some of his pictures on Facebook which he had taken with campus friends.
In my mind, I thought something was wrong. While you cannot tell about the
health of a friend given that he was also studying medicine, I could tell that
he never looked in fine fettle as his friends. Even though he was a lean guy,
there is this notion that people usually emulate the environment in which they
are in. If your peers are developing (becoming fat), you will join the mix
whether you like it or not. If you fail, you will try not to be a shadow of the
others. As for yours truly, I am have maintained the weight I had since high
school and given that I have been having dental problems, I don’t see myself
growing bigger any soon.
Talking
of dental complications, there was a time I did engage Vitti on Facebook.
While chatting I remember asking him if he could do for me a refill for free
even though he was a rookie in the field. Then he worked in Nakuru. I was going
through hash periods of sometimes forfeiting meat because I could not chew with
a cavity on a molar tooth. Things got worse when one day I was eating mapera and a seed broke the crown of a
premolar leaving it exposed which forced me to seek the services of a dentist
in one of the many hospitals in town.
I
remember spending so much on my teeth I felt like removing them altogether but
the idea of removal when you can refill deterred me from going for the worst
case scenario. Vitti did advise but said he never offered free services. That
is probably the last chat we ever had because he was a busy fellow and I am a
social media recluse. I only read the gen friends have posted as opposed to
getting into the conversation. I love live conversations.
Obviously,
we wanted to know what had happened. The information we got was that he had
arrived in the house drunk and went to sleep without taking any food that
night. He lived with two cousins in Central Police Station from where he would
commute daily to work. The cousins were astounded as to why he had gone to
sleep quite early without taking anything on the eve of the night of his fall.
When they went to check on him, he was not breathing steadily and they called
the police who in turn rushed him to KNH where he was pronounced dead on
arrival.
Immediately,
information started circulating that one Vitti had succumbed. It was not clear
who it was until his well-known name was mentioned. It was a blow to us as
alumni given that he was among the most dexterous individuals in our class in
high school. Plus, he was a dentist, and individuals of this caliber are very
rare in the country. Ideally, he was not only a wizard when it came to matters
perusal, he was also a social guy who interacted with many. However, he rarely
participated in any extracurricular activities in school.
I
can recall there was one thing he never went without the four years we were in
school with him. Every day, as some of us would whistle, he was usually
prepared and had a loaf to cool the lava hot tea which you had to take while
hiding as hunger pangs wrestled your stomach. But given that I hated the
embarrassment or asking for a pinch or borrowing money for a buying a loaf, I
ended up taking my tea in whistlers’ corner. I guess he was well secured given
that his father was once a teacher in the same institution before transferring
to teach in a college on a fulltime basis.
From
the post mortem results, it was concluded that he underwent internal bleeding in
the head which caused his untimed death. We ended up concluding that it was
either as a result of falling or being hit but given that we were just laymen
and not pathologists, we could not arrive at a legit conclusion. Another theory
was that there might have been poison in the liquor he was taking which in turn
could have caused hemorrhage in capillaries in his brain.
The
next few days we were able to assemble in a meeting for two different days. The
first meeting was held in an open place where we had a small high school
reunion. Many turned up because there was the urge of finding out what was the
actual cause of the death. At such reunions, though it was supposed to be a
gloomy occasion, we ended up having light moments of our various escapades in
high school.
I
distinctively recall a scenario where we formed a pentagon group in high school
whereby we went and did some funny stuff in the company of Vitti. One of us
ended up being expelled and in the event that he was a snitch, we would have
suffered the same fate as he. However, he remained the man he was supposed to
be and never revealed the secret which we shared with friends while reminiscing
the good and bad moments we had in high school. During this rendezvous is when
we were able to say where we worked after finishing campus. There are those who
worked for enviable companies we wished we could work in such positions, there were salesmen
like yours truly, and those who had just started out. Then we organised another
meeting.
The
next gathering was attended by many guys even though some who attended earlier
were not able to make it. It was in a small meeting room which you pay for and
you are supplied with chairs and a table. The crowd was huge and some were
forced to stand except for the ladies who were allowed to sit. That was the day
I got to learn of Vitti’s other girlfriends who some dubious characters wished
he had sired a baby with so that his lineage could continue being seen even in
his aftermath. That’s boys for you.
There
was one of his high school girlfriend who was shocked when she realized that she was not
the only lady as she never knew the other side dish even though they were both
in high school in almost the same time. As for me, I only came to realize that
they were his girlfriends in the meeting because I knew a different lady who
was neither the two. Anyway, as men, we usually keep our secrets and ladies
also know how to keep it cool.
The
journey to send our friend to his last resting place was one that was
characterized by high school memories. We talked about another high school mate
who had succumbed but very few heard about it because we were still in campus
and the idea of forming a Whatsapp group where we could share about such
incidences had not surfaced. We talked of the guys who could not be able to
clear campus because of falling into the trap of alcoholism at a tender age. I
remember talking about a certain mate who we also went to campus with and could
go past the first year because of illicit brew.
I
love the fact that he reformed after serving some time behind bars due to
unclear issues. He now sells smokies and eggs in Uhuru Park. While in my line
of duty, he called me since I was not able to notice him and we had a lengthy
chat even though I was not able to promote him given that I had no cash in my
pocket. I remember a campus colleague telling me that he was once robbed of all
valuables and had even lost some teeth but when I did check him out, he never
lost even a single tooth like I had initially intimated to friends we went with
for the interment of Vitti. However, he had dents on his head which he did hide
with a hood as a result of the altercation which happened near Uhuru Highway while returning back to campus. Which reminds me that one day I should organize with friends so
that we can go and buy those eggs from him as he was not complaining of the
job.
We
arrived in Kapsabet in the wee hours of the night and went straight to the home
of the late where we sat and chin wagged on various pep talks. There are those
guys who branched for ale in a pub opened by a former high school mate until it
dawned. Such are the times we bankers were being cornered that we have reached
a gridlock due to the capping of interest rates which banks had seen as coming
and were not ill prepared as the masses tend to believe. On the contrary, for a bank
salesperson, the ease of interest rate means more money if more customers take
up loans. There was also an auditor who told us how they were at times being
reprimanded when clients thought they would issue an unqualified statement
instead of a qualified statement. Such are the times when partners in such
firms are forced to review the opinion even though sometimes the customer is
not always right. The sole software engineer remained as calm as a water in a
pot.
A
lawyer simplified legal jargon but when it got to deep investment matters, he
could only give the legal perspective so much so that he shied away from
investment related banter which I am quite adept. Vitti’s dad who teaches business
in college said that I was well versed with matters investment even though I
could not make it past online aptitude test level while applying for internship
for a certain investment firm. Given such commendation, I felt like my studies
in the CFA program had not gone to waste and I was able to be an ace when
telling others about equities, fixed income and alternative investments. I
still think there were those who would have loved to be simplified for all the
business jargon that we had gone deep into.
While
chatting, we did have some tea to warm our bodies because the Nandi weather is
ever cold, it even rained. I remember telling guys that the bread we were not
taking in copious amounts could have not seen the light of day at such times
were we in high school. But the love for bread had withered as time has really
flown yet it looks like yesterday. That day, I had four caps of tea which is
not a norm for me. I usually have one and a maximum of two. But when you are
duped into having more tea, you just consume because you never know the future
only that there will be those incidences when you really want to pee.
When
we finished partaking of tea, those who wanted to shower were given hot water
for the same. However, most of us declined the offer in order to preserve our
high school ethos. High school mentality of not showering had rekindled back.
In high school, we rarely showed during cold season because of the weather and
sometimes lack of water. Yet we felt alright without having a shower.
The
grave was also dug that morning. Back in our place, the body of the deceased is
usually brought in the home a day before the burial. The sepulcher is also dug
the night before a person is laid to rest. We were able to participate in the
process before we went to the morgue where the body was kept.
As
opposed to my place where most people would love to go to the morgue to
accompany the body for the funeral procession, there were very few people who
went to the morgue. The bus that was ferrying us was virtually empty. I
presumed most Kalenjin have a fear of the morgue. On the way, I sat alone and
slept until I was woken up by the bus when it had stopped to turn to make it to
the funeral parlor. One of my friends who was not fast asleep told me of how I
was snoring which I did doubt because I also did dream and there is a theory
that you cannot dream and snore at the same time.
The
casket was placed on a bier outside where a short sermon was read by some
deacons from the Anglican church. I cannot vividly remember the book or the
verse but the fact that my former high school mate was now in a casket did
strike. Such moments, that's when the atmosphere changes, you become pensive.
There is always that part where the preacher says we are headed in the same
direction and we should repent before our time comes. You stand and realize
that you are all alone in this world. Such somber scenarios make you feel like
it can happen to anyone. If it took him at such a tender age, then why not me.
When
it came to viewing his body, I was among the first few who went to see him. For
some people, viewing a body is a normally a nightmare. At the first glance of his
corpse, I could tell the cause wasn't apparent but the chances of it being
natural causes were remote. Young men don't just turn up dead for no good
reason.
The
procession from the morgue was like most where the hearse usually leads as the
other vehicles follow. I still slept on the way back, only waking up near our
former high school. When we arrived near his home, the bodaboda guys were
waiting and they were the guys now leading the procession. Unlike in our place
where such occasions are accompanied by siren and yowling as tree branches are
waved in the air, there was no such incident. However, just like our place,
crowds of people had gathered along the road in packets to witness the once
brilliant guy who was among the first to score a straight A in the area. I
remember standing on the bus alley to see what was happening. It did remind me
of the many times we have ferried the departed souls back in our village. This
was a real participation in a Kalenjin funeral and burial ceremony.
There
is something I noticed during the burial of a Kalenjin, there is viewing of the
body throughout the funeral ceremony. As for the peeps from my place, there is
only one set time to view the body as you go to greet the family of the
deceased.
The
ceremony was one which was also characterized with a lot of bonding among
former high school mates. Many had turned up to pay their last respect. It was
a time to reunite though in an uneventful place where we had not scheduled but
life scheduled it for us. That is the time the Facebook status updates of the
deceased started being discussed in low tones. There were two updates spaced at
a span of three years about death and dying before 30 because life can be
brutal which had been written by the deceased. Nobody did understand that until
we were now in the funeral.
Even
though the death occurred within the vicinity of the police station, we were
not ready to push so much to find out exactly what happened. It is not easy to
trust the police to investigate a crime that happened within their
jurisdiction.
When
the funeral was over, we ate and I remember I was among the first few to go for
food. I was feeling hungry and I remember I only had transport with me. In the
event I used it to purchase any food, I would have been at a limbo. That’s why
I ate before travelling back to the city. When guys saw me and a pal who
offered to take me to eat also going to be served food, they joined in. At
least, I was courageous enough to eat even though there were those in denial of
feeling hungry yet they still lined up for the meal.
I
must say I was lucky because I did find space in a car to Nakuru. A pal who was now
driving an SUV offered to carry me. It was like a Godsend because I was able to save some cash
given that my pockets were running dry. We were able to have another small
fundraiser to back up the initial contribution to leave the family with. I
guess that is the spirit of brotherhood. We remain united even in tough times.
Which made me wish that those friends of mine who offered to be my clients would
meet their end of the bargain. But human beings are tricky.
While
on our way, we discussed the fate of those who had fallen victim to alcohol
addiction. There was a case in point of one guy whose pictures even surfaced on
our WhatsApp page in a very pathetic state. When I joined first year in campus,
he was in his fourth year undertaking an engineering course which I did envy.
But before we finished, he was introduced to ale by a former high school mate
and he ended up getting so wasted that at present you cannot imagine he was an
index one in a national school.
But
the bottom line boils down to drinking responsibly or quitting and remaining
sober because rehab is not cheap as I heard from a conversation with a
rehabilitated guy. Again, you put your family in an indeterminate state given
that most guys are usually in denial that they are addicts.
People
eulogized Vitti as a bright young man who inspired many including one of his
uncles who confessed that due to him ever being the top student in primary
school, he had the obligation to work hard to go to university courtesy of his
brilliant younger nephew.
PS:
I had carried some forms to go and sign up one some of the mates who had
promised to sign up for a credit card after the burial. I remember a regional sales
manager telling us how she had used this tactic to become the best salesperson
in the region where she worked (she used to target interment ceremonies of
those she knew would take up the product she sold and take their numbers and it worked).
My intention was to pull one like she had done, unluckily, none of those
friends turned up to the occasion even after promising to. Friends should
remain friends, right. They might frustrate you but they will still be friends
in deed.
And
on that note,
Hasta
La Vista Baby.
[Picture Source: Google Images]
