Never Give Up

In the recent past, I have been struggling to concentrate. I can't seem to create a hymn out of words that can become a gentle melody. The kind of genre that resonates profoundly with immense appreciation like the works of medieval composers whose lyrical masterpieces are timeless and transcend generations. The sort of aria that has lyrical beauty and harmonic richness, an intimate connection is subtly created. The etudes that mutely leave your heart palpitated in serendipity. You are cast upon your chair and spellbound, feeling the slow thud of your heart transition into an avalanche of emotion. Maybe, it could be the outcome of burnout or the weight of continuous productivity. I have not yet pondered on the root cause. I have no idea whether I am shallow or tardy. Regardless, I deserve to understand the genesis of this mixed feeling that demands testament. 

A few weeks ago, I came across the notion that "Every skilled and talented artiste needs to know the right time to exit the stage lest the performance becomes obnoxious." Consequently, you need to read the mood of your audience to leave a lasting and impactful impression. Winning an audience is normally a hard nut to crack. It's not like a bell that peals as if in ballet shoes and twirls through walls and every other crevice to all and sundry's tender ears. Charming folks require good timing, original ideas, finesse and ease of execution. One day you are a darling, basking in the glow of people's admiration and you feel dazzled about it, the next day you are a villain, chided and scorned by every soul as if you never mattered or what you did is dismissed as utter balderdash. 

Soon new breeds take over, they are always waiting for an opportune moment to strike it while it's hot. They are always lurking in the air like an eagle that has seen its prey but waiting for a ripe moment to pounce. And they don't just take over, they come prepared, having learnt from your failures, strengths, opportunities and threats. They seize opportune moments that present themselves and make their mark. For some, it is a happy-ever-after affair. For others, it's a brief taste of fame that is elusive. It's a fleeting affair synonymous with the one-hit wonders whose success is ephemeral. When they are given a stage to prove themselves, they end up like that chap who hypes his level of capability only to disappoint like nobody's business when it matters the most. Big game talk, null results. You promise the sun but fail to deliver the moon that merely reflects from the sun.

Doing what you cherish is easier said than done. Most of us would love to escape from the tentacles of what is holding us hostage. I, too, wish to do what I love, earn a living and be genuinely happy about it. But I am hesitant. There is that inherent fear that things may never work out. After all, it's not all the time that you dedicate yourself to what you are doing that success is assured. Were it a low-hanging fruit, then it would have been easy to pluck it from the tree, however, it is not. It is a relentless pursuit that is full of ups and downs. It's a treacherous journey that involves so much sacrifice. Somehow, success is eclectic and elusive. You may do everything in the book but it will still slip through the fingers. Nonetheless, there is one instance that will beget that happy-ever-after state. Or it may just never come however much you push and pour yourself into what you are doing. Sometimes, like Nikola Tesla, others will reap the fruits of your labour. Because prophets are seldom appreciated in their hometown. 

Come to think of it, does that happy-ever-after state even exist? At every stage of life, we have to struggle with new challenges. Which forces us have to keep going. Otherwise, you give up and see the hopes and dreams you had evaporate in thin air yet there is something that you could have done about the state. Some days, you will be disappointed and ask yourself questions no one can answer. I sometimes ask myself when the rain started beating me, then quickly realize that I have everything within my control and figured out. Where did I lose the direction I had? Why am I inconsistent with what I am doing? 

Originally, I planned to be astute as much as possible. You know how some random ideas oscillate in the mind, "If I do this, then probably this will happen." Then it turns out that the plans are never on their own. They have to rely on other plans and in light of the changing circumstances end up being obsolete endeavours. Which effectively means they may be overtaken by events and as such inconceivable, often beyond the realm of possibility. Could it be that the world is so cold that it has failed to melt the ice into free-running water? 

Hasta La Vista Baby

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Hyperbolic discounting

Life is a constant dance of options, and the melody that resonates well with us is the one we waltz or gyrate to. The decisions we make shape the lifestyle we lead and, in turn, sway the path to satisfaction. Imagine ticking off life's checkboxes one by one, piecing together a beautiful mosaic of experiences. Each completed task adds a splash of color to the grand design. Unfortunately, life's rhythm is a complex tapestry of options. There is always the dilemma of juggling competing interests. A tough decision awaits when you are compelled to select amongst the myriad of prospects that life presents.

As rational beings, we often face the allure of immediate gratification, opting for the path laden with quick, modest rewards rather than the longer route promising substantial bounty. Quick wins! Sprints over marathons. This tendency equates to discounting the future and the broader possibilities of prosperity. After all, nobody knows about tomorrow. Hence our myopic tendencies.

Discipline stands as the cornerstone of our voyage through life. It empowers you to navigate any path you choose. Without it, you'll easily be swayed by fleeting desires, often veering onto the well-trodden path in pursuit of quick gratification. Honesty remains a non-negotiable virtue across all life's domains.

The circumstances we find ourselves in vary. You might find yourself in a field demanding utmost dedication. Some require you to have self-control and chart your destiny while others may afford more freedom and personal preference. Shortcuts might offer a temporary illusion of progress, but they often conflict with long-term aspirations. As the consequences of our choices materialize, the sting of regret tied to those decisions becomes all too clear. 

In today's dynamic world, abundant opportunities await if you are willing to seize them. Strive to become the best version of yourself, shed habits that hinder your ability to compete, and embrace challenges, which can be a boomerang to bloom. You should dare to step outside your comfort zone and make the necessary sacrifices to develop your unique strengths. Don't let the prod that elicits defensiveness prevent you from doing what is right because it feels safe to be in a crowd.

As social creatures, we naturally gravitate towards the crowd. The concept of herd mentality is deeply rooted within us. It can hold an individual captive to collective decisions. You end up fearing the risk associated with independent decisions, which in turn leads you to succumb to the social proof bias. Consequently, this bias may amplify your situation, resulting in behavior akin to a sheep blindly following the flock. When one sheep leaps over an imaginary fence, the rest invariably follow suit.

Hyperbolic discounting refers to the tendency to opt for immediate pleasure at the expense of greater future benefits. This cognitive bias often leads to decisions that favor instant gratification over long-term gain. Although we often experience it, we may overlook it or adopt a dismissive attitude, "Whatever!" It's a challenge I've faced before, and this has impeded my ability to fully reap the fruits of my labor. Perhaps I sit on the fence a lot more than I should.

For example, you may aspire to hit the gym to achieve a certain physique, perhaps to feel confident when you look in the mirror, and to ward off lifestyle diseases. This decision marks one of the toughest challenges in your fitness journey. An ideal body is like a sculpture—it has to be chiseled for the outcome to be desirable. 

Let's call it the "workout saga," you have to brace yourself for some serious grind, a process that requires improving your health through exercise and better nutrition. It entails making sacrifices and stepping out of your comfort zone into the unknown. This journey is strenuous and unavoidable, especially if you aim to rock that killer physique for life. But those delicious cookies in a nearby bakery might seem more tempting than the gym membership that promises long-term health benefits. Damn you wheat!

I can relate to the fitness journey. There was a time when I was super regimented, hitting the pavement for walks, busting out reps, and chugging water like it was going out of style (eight glasses weren't just a suggestion, it was my mantra). I didn't set specific targets or seek motivation, but after about a month, I hit the brakes. In my walking routine, I experimented with different sneakers and flip-flops until I found the ones that suited my trekking needs. I clocked a kilometer in a cool ten minutes. Initially, drinking water regularly was a challenge, so I spaced out my drinks and threw in some Himalayan salt to prevent frequent bathroom breaks and help in the retention of water in the body cells. But then, those spur-of-the-moment cravings hit, and I eventually succumbed to procrastination and lethargy, seeking alternative options when the initial enthusiasm waned. It's easy to abandon a results-oriented endeavor when a meliorating alternative presents itself.

Last year, I embarked on a journey of self-study. I kept my educational endeavors under wraps, hoping to wow those around me with my success. However, when the results rolled in, I had failed, leaving me feeling like crap and short of apocalyptic. Amid the shock and shame, I soldiered on. Reflecting on my study habits, I realized that my sessions weren't consistent. Despite pouring considerable hours into my studies, I often took fun breaks and indulged in weekly parties to break the monotony. Additionally, I skipped self-quizzes, which would've gauged my understanding. I discovered that taking more than a two-day break from studying frequently snowballed into a week-long hiatus, derailing my focus. Lesson learned. On to the next one.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

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TSUNAMI

“Cheer up, things might get …………”

That’s the slogan of our boss back at work. Every time he utters those words, something is usually cooking. I usually never know how the line should end but most colleagues usually say they might get ‘worse’. On the other hand, I usually think they might get ‘better’. In the sense that I try to see an opportunity even when all seem to be gloomy and circumstances suggesting that the worse times are more than imminent.

The banking industry has undergone a radical shift in the way has been operating in the recent past. There is a Kenyan mentality of living in denial because we are used to situations remaining the same. We never want to accept change. When they come, they sometimes catch us unawares because the imminent impact is not taken into consideration. That means there are causalities who sack is at the mercy of the human resource.

Allow me to allude to the possible crisis that was envisioned during the Brexit. At that time, I was busy preparing for my exams and because I had got tired of perusal, I decided to pour over some gen on investments online to buffer the academic knowledge than I was gaining through ebooks. I noticed a plebiscite that was to take place in Britain, it was to be held in few months. It was still hot news and I shared the same tidings on my LinkedIn profile.

The reason why I shared the information was because I was among the doubting Thomas’s as to the possibility of Britain exiting the European Union. Given that I love statistics, I closely followed the survey and it was a close to call poll. Those for an exit took the day. However, as opposed to us Kenyans where we never look at the financial impact of a move we make, the World was prepared for either scenario with most thinking the status quo would prevail.

I remember reading an article where retired analysts were recalled from their superannuation or wherever they were secluded in to go aid in containing the debilitating effects of a possible rundown in the financial markets. Let me surmise on this because I have shaky facts from the internet. The London market is the largest when it comes to forex. It accounts for more than twenty present of the same in the world. Given that the pound is the strongest currency in the whole world, there was going to be devastating rippling effects which needed to be monitored lest the world succumbs to a financial crisis only reminiscent to the 2008 meltdown.

In the long run, the Brexit being a world changer, the situation that was delicate was able to be ameliorated by mitigating the effects which would have led to a crisis.

The scenario is almost similar to the Kenyan case of interest rates being capped (in economics, it’s called ceiling). Previous attempts to cap interest rates flopped because of reasons that can be presumed to be economic in the sense that there will always be imbalances between the quantity demanded and the quantity supplied when there is an interest rate ceiling. Then net effect is that productivity will be affected because the loan book of most banks has been nonperforming which has led to a scenario where standing orders are not accepted anymore. Banks only allow for a check off system between the bank and the employer where they do not have to undergo the torture of finding no money in an individual’s bank account who owe them given that some people may forfeit their obligations by withdrawing all the income from their account rendering the standing orders void.

There is also the brown paper argument that as long as the legislators are culpable to easily being oiled, they could easily be bank rolled by some banks not to pass the bill and ensure the status quo prevails.

Hitherto, there were staff who were thinking that the president would not accent to the Banking Bill because he has interests in the banking sector. The day he signed the bill, he aided in bringing the country at par with what was witnessed in the developed world long ago because interest rates have a ceiling to reduce on banks turning to being shylocks literally. I had initially thought that banks were prepared for the imminent repercussions. On the contrary they were caught unawares.

It is at this point that they have returned back to the boardroom to strategize on how to reduce on some products and gain on some. As for the bank I work for, there was an imminent tsunami that came in the sense that the parent company was going to walk away. That was devastating but what is now irking is the fact that some heads have to roll. It may start with this blogger who was intending to use the avenue to further his people skills and possibly add onto the experience of working for a multinational company.

I remember watching how the staff who worked for Lehman Brothers were exciting from their trading and various offices after the bank went under after the recent financial meltdown that turned into a boon for the investment banks that remained in the industry on ‘The Big Short’. That’s how some of us will be at the end of the month given that resizing is a must. It has come to us on the pretext of change. We have to accept it whether we like it or not. Those who fail to change will be like the once juggernaut of the computer world, HP. It has been struggling for the last part of the decade with dwindling sales and probable capital flight because of the business as usual mentality.

For quite some time, banks have always been very conservative. They have been making profits which looked farfetched because you need to ensure you act is right to attract investors who want a share through dividends, failure of which they will shift base to industries that have a performing balance sheet.

There is this theory in economics that the higher the demand the higher the price will be. That’s from an investment perspective. However, the theory of demand and supply states that the lower the price the higher the demand. Given that most people end up mimicking the behaviours of top investors in the country in which they are in, the result is either herding or information cascade.

Anyway, I love investments. I also love it when you have a basis for making a decision which should be forecasted whether or not the result will be favouring or impeding the strides achieved. As a matter of fact, it should be prudent to have analysts who will look at various scenarios to advice accordingly on the way forward before a given scenario comes into force.

As for the banks, they should have projected this very early on. There are people who are paid to idle around checking mails and attending meetings to strategize without using serious statistical data. Already, the shares of various banks are plummeting and they will continue doing so for the next couple of days before the situation turns alluring again. Which reminds me that there are contrarian investors who will reap big once the banks have put their act together.

I presume that in the event banks in Kenya had done exactly what the big banks in the world had done on the days preceding the enactment of the Banking Bill into law as the big banks had done by monitoring the situation day and night without rest during Brexit, the net effect would have been manageable. Some risks would have been reduced and mitigation measures taken in the short term to ensure the situation does not deteriorate like it has done almost going to the dogs.

What’s petrifying is the fact that there are some employees in the banking sector whose lives will never be the same again. Just when the sector had picked up and they were enjoying the fruits is when they have to face the axe. It’s worse for those who were raking in millions and had no alternative source of income. Such individuals may have taken mortgages, bought fuel guzzlers, registered to be members of posh clubs where they pay an arm and leg to sustain the status quo, some may have even taken their tots to the best international schools in the country where the curriculum is Bri’sh as a show of might. 

I guess the individual whose fate hangs on the balance is my immediate boss. Being the guy in charge of individuals who were doing credit cards only, it looks like the scenario will be grim before it turns attractive in the short term. I must say that I was among the few guys who got the privilege of being feted by him for having made sales before the card business was discontinued until further notice. Just like the others in the business, he does not know his fate. I remember listening to his pastime and felt like working for the bank for some time to get to a better position that comes with perks before I roll my sleeves and call it a day.

Like the guy is a member of a golf club, occasionally goes for exotic holidays, loves outdoor activity every weekend, raves during the weekdays in various high end clubs in town and still never realizes that it is payday. As opposed to him, I easily monitor the days because by midmonth, I am usually so beat up financially that I cannot easily cough a K for other obligations without feeling a pinch. He is even planning of going for the Malindi skydive yet he is barely 40. That’s kind of enviable especially when you are doing it with your own bucks.

As I wait for my fate which again is at a limbo, I am awed at the much I have learnt for the little while I have been working with many people in one room, though I will miss them. There are those who tell you stories they have gone through you feel like they would pen the same down and give it to you to update on your blog because they encourage and you realize you have yet to go through the worst scenarios.

Like a very sweet colleague told me of how she was able to get a first class yet there was a time her child broke her leg after landing from two floors while she was revising for exams. It was almost the same period she had delivered her last baby and had to go for exams, pick her tot after exams to go and take care of her other baby in the hospital who had broken a leg. Yet she still scored straight A’s during that semester which is not a mean feat while undergoing all that frustration and stress.

There is also this colleague who was seduced by a certain lady neighbour who was HIV positive in the ‘ploti’ they lived but since he was aware of her status after stumbling upon a note book where she had written about how her travail with the virus, he decided not to be amorous by putting his family also at risk. The lady had gone to his room with a night dress while his wife had gone to shags in hope that she would lure him but God has a way of protecting his people.

What encouraged me the most is a colleague I sit next to who told me that we are not going to be exiting but continuing with our jobs. She narrated a certain anecdote of a certain lady who dreamt that she will be eating the ripe fruits with her husband who was due for promotion. The promotion came with training in the forest where his life was not going to be guaranteed given it was always a risky venture as his hubby was a cop. The husband never went to the forest and was instead attached within the training institution at a senior level and they moved to a sole house where there was an avocado tree and they would sit down and relish when he was free from the daily hustle. It’s these kind of miracles that makes us strong

That’s life, whether or not I will be exciting from the scene, there is so much I have learnt. Obviously, even if I stay, it will never be the same again. I will have to reorganize myself before the ax comes calling. Given that this will be another long stretch; I am upbeat that I will still come out strong. Life in itself is a risk; the risk starts at conception. So as I mull over what waits yours truly, allow me to end with my signature phrase.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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