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Anyway, I have this thing piercing painfully on my heart causing
it to beat laboriously and continuously because I am even ashamed to open up on the
string of porn attacks that have invaded my account (they regenerate the moment
I close them). What I thought of as a link that I was tagged on which appeared on the
notification bar turned out to be sexually explicit malware and what I presume is an
impending doom or is it ominous in retrospect. I have to ensure I check notifications occasionally.
Ever since I left my former job, I have been having a feeling that
I can be fired anytime. This feeling of foreboding has been complicated by the
fact that I was kind of pessimistic in joining this new job. What with freedom that
comes with being a lecturer. This one is like being in penitentiary. You only leave the workplace to go for lunch or head home.
Facebook has messed me up. I am feeling nauseated about the whole
thing and how it has impacted in my new found salaried stature (Never mind that
it was what I negotiated for , even though it is not much). But again that which
is not much is what I have been advised to be content with pending my big
break. Mmmmmmmmh!! It is called the inadequacy mentality. Easily agreeing to an offer because you need to grow.
This Facebook app has ruined the impending big break. It has portrayed
me in the eyes of the public as someone who is duly immoral and lacking the requisite
moral fibre expected in society. A society that does seem to be blind on the
fact that some of the vices that it tries to emasculate are indeed a reality.
And the bootleg has caused many of our girls to be lured into it because
society expects us to have money in order to survive. Reminds me I have to
watch, “Hot Girls Wanted” because I read on the Nairobian about a Kenyan lady who had been turned into a sex slave by an American. I remember reading about the former in one of the dailies when used to work where we had newspapers. Now I have no opportunity to read about the same because this new workplace has
no numbers to aid us in buying newspapers on a daily basis as staff.
That aside, the malware is a URL that will destroy my image and
reputation in the eyes of the public. Which I try to uphold as much as possible
because I don’t love being in collision with people I don’t care about online.
But alternatively, I am a people’s person when we interact, but not over the
net. I usually become kind of shy to talk about my share of frustrations and
happiness on Facebook. Which this blog comes in handy to try and outline
because it’s all about growth and looking at the bigger picture as much as it
is about taking risks and taking stock.
Ever since I started it, I have grown tremendously in various bounds and
facets. Even the Almighty up in heaven knows. Though at times I have been
agnostic, I have to contend with the fact that He has in a way shaped my
destiny. Those times when I turn to Him, I reap big. But when I deviate, I feel
the pinch. His manifestations are in various ways. Which means I need to have a
personal relationship with the Supreme Being because He understands the
challenges I have to go through, those out of omission and commission.
As I sit idly behind a computer penning this piece of nonsensical gibbery
(gibbery never exists, it’s my own creation- there is gibber though). I am even ashamed of the fact that my employer
is on Facebook and might be tempted to take a sneak peek on my account and see
that which is ultimately gross and tell me in her broken English, ‘You fired,
this organisation not condone abuse. No explanation. Pack and go.’ Thank
goodness we are not friends on Facebook.
As a rain beaten cat, I will collect all my tools of trade and
walk out because the Facebook posts have irked the many people who follow me
though I have given an official statement about the spam. OK, it will be a bad
day for me. Haisulu! When one door closes, another opens. But I will not be perturbed
because it is something that I have been expecting. Especially when there is no
clear JD. In fact, when I was interviewed, I was told I was free to do what I
wanted. But you cannot be free in this current job. When someone tells you you
are free and not being monitored, definitely, it means you may even think you
are not going to add to the greater good of contributing towards prosperity (just saying).
Which reminds me that employees are the same everywhere. If you
find a satisfied employee then there is a problem (we always complaining that we should have a review of the terms and conditions read salary). For the few places I have worked
in, people are complaining in harsh tones of poor pay (You cannot resign for fear of the
unknown). When you see the manager coming, you change the conversation and start talking of the weather or newspaper gossip if Kenyan, but if foreign and cannot understand Swahili, mtu wangu, mtaongea tu. Most employees seem dissatisfied yet they hang on. They have no other place to
be or go, therefore they rant how bad they are mediocrely being treated. Which
is true in some cases. But who cares, you are gaining experience in the
meantime. Maybe it could be that we have just been blinkered by the current
situation which never avails any glimmer of hope in the current manifestation.
One of my students told me he had worked for one employer for
close to 8 years. The commencement date is exactly the period I cleared
high-school. Yet at present, I have been looking for greener pastures
everywhere I go. One student even thought I was young, asking if I cleared
high-school some few years ago (less than five years). I could not imagine that
I was looking that young. And worse was when a colleague in the teaching
fraternity termed me a ‘mummy’s boy’. I never knew what she meant but I really
got me pissed off and thinking. Yet my mum leaves in the rural areas struggling
to make ends meet through peasant farming because the fast lane life in the
city has become too complex for her due to her changed lifestyle. However, she
spent most of her formative years living in Nairobi.
But I am managing the
name calling and all those vexations that you hear from other people. Those are
some of the pitfalls you have to surmount as an individual. I say, it’s never
easy.
However, I will be forced to reactivate my account because it will
pay my bills in the meantime. There is somewhere I read that before you get
your own inkling in society, you must have gone through those scenarios that
help build your character and makes you strong. Life is about the experiences we
go through. Each and every place offers you an opportunity to learn. Whatever
little I have learnt in my new job at work, I am very grateful. I only need to
look at the bigger picture.
[Photo Source: My own]
[Photo Source: My own]
HASTA LA VISTA BABY.
