I only date lesbians

Every man has his desires on the kind of a woman he wants. Men are visual creatures and will be attracted by any woman in skirt who is willing to listen to him (gay naught).

Modern men and women are, therefore, programmed to find specific biological and psychological traits attractive in the opposite sex.

I am attracted to lesbians. Yes, they excite the erotic hormones in my system. They make me go wild like a horse drugged with Viagra ready to race faster. I must confess they are the only beings that keep me going and aptly revere them. However, I have no continuum fetish for lezzerism and take no umbrage in my overt predilection.

Why lesbians you may ask? Lesbians have more money than straight women according to new study. That is something that I had to say tacitly. That they have more money is my main reason for dating a lesbian. 

The author of the report, Dr Nick Drydakis, gave some reasons as to why he thought this was the case. Here are some reasons:

1. Lesbians may realize early in life that they aren't going to marry into a traditional household. 

2. This means that they are willing to make a series of career choices, such as staying in school longer, choosing a degree that leads to a higher paying job, or working longer hours. 

3. He added that gay women might self-select into male-dominated professions- which offer higher salaries

Basically, according to the author of the report, women in same sex relationships aren't subjected as much to the same gender norms and stereotypes as straight women- which works out quite well in the workplace.

However I am not into butches. Short artfully mussed hair? Denim? Leather jacket? Nose piercings? Motorcycles? Suits and ties? Loud and aggressive? Low-maintenance appearance? Not me. 

I am into femmes. Often thought of as passive, dulcet, timid little things with long locks of hair; prissy dresses; great big fawn eyes; a high, baby-doll voice with a balanced mouth; the courage of a lamb; an exquisite waist to hip ratio with svelte little bodies and the intelligence of a gardenia.

But we're all human, so don't expect that stereotype of finding every femme to be submissive, faint-hearted little fairies.  As far as I am concerned an incognito one will be just fine for my rabid and cosset libido.

Many gay ladies usually think of lesbianism as a vacation from the pressures of heterosexuality. I’ve read about lesbian rites and rituals in women’s magazines. Yet I will be like an anthropologist without primary sources, thrown into the field to debunk a cultural deficit on our woman folk. Sex itself is self-explanatory, but to lesbians’, societal heterosexuality components destabilizes them. They feel caged and only absorb the straight culture from a distance.

A lesbian is sexually confident of what she wants. She has morphed into such an emphatic and honest person. She is crazy and more accepting of who someone is. She knows what to expect and is true to herself. She knows how to harness her courage and take apt responsibility. And yes, you might get that coveted ménage à trios. It is every man’s dream. Who aint interested in a woman who earns more money? Lesbians earn more than their straight counterparts. She is not interested in a long term thing or meeting my folks, but most of all I love being with round smart, successful and fun women all the time. Don’t all lesbians wish that they could swear off women especially after a break-up?

Straight women are however difficult to deal with. They are very insecure and jealous. You cannot look at another lady and flirt without her nagging (I hate the nagging bit) and getting mad. They usually play hard to get (some take months to ingia box). They have so many rules ranging from being marriage material, the recipes of authentic romance, a woman should never ask a man out, never jump to bed on the first date, the guy should always pay. Damn, sometimes it can be frustrating dating this lady. Coupled by the fact that she does not earn more than her lesbian counterpart and are moderately neurotic. 

Dealing with a lesbian is however very demanding and tricky. In their opine, guys can be selfish, crude, dirty, sneaky, cheats and even abusive at their worst. Heterosexual men are deeply fascinated and wildly confused by gay women. A lesbian comedian once said during a gig: "It's not that we dislike penises, we just don't like them on men." With a lesbian, you never ask, “Who is going to take charge tonight?” It comes automatic. Again there is a fallacy that lesbians hate men, which is just that- a fallacy. Their sexual orientation is women, but being bi is not an exclusion (I cannot advocate for bisexuality as the dumping ground though). Obviously there are lesbians who have sexual fantasies involving men. 

Our world has common misconceptions about lesbianism (not as bad as homosexuality in men). According to Kali Munro, “ lesbian relationships are a fad, a phase, less significant than straight relationships, don’t last, are unhappy, unstable, and lacking because there is no male involvement, and that all we need is a ‘good fuck,’ it can be hard to feel open to lesbians or bisexual women who want, or do have sex with men.” 

However there is no clear demarcation on who really is a lesbian. Some lesbians also sleep with men and at some point in time strive to be straight but cling on to lesbianism; suffice to say that we are yet to clearly define the boundaries. Of course those “mistakes with boys” never last. What we need to do is to understand their feelings as human beings, their inhibitions and desires and to take them as who they are. We can only gain by acknowledging and respecting the sexual diversity of our community; in doing that, we gain a richer and more varied community.

SITUONANE.

[Photo Source: Google Images]