The Job Market Queasiness

Securing my first job felt like stumbling upon a coveted opportunity, akin to discovering a rich platinum deposit. The murky world of employment is laborious and tough. Jobs are transient, and the sheer pith of comfort is what we should strive to overcome. You discover there is more to a career than just a paycheck. You need to be in constant motion. Interestingly, I've observed a widespread appreciation for local cuisine. As a nation, we aspire to have locally curated eateries selling standard recipes. The challenge lies in operationalizing the outfit to transform it into a franchise. This would involve opening multiple branches funded by local investors, akin to how citizens eagerly invest in government bonds and bills.

Honesty and integrity are paramount in the job market. Transparency and a clean professional record are non-negotiable. While practical skills and experience hold weight, academic qualifications often become crucial, especially in competitive scenarios. A degree may seem trivial until it becomes a prerequisite for a desired position. Strong academic credentials not only demonstrate a foundation of knowledge but also a dedication to learning and growth. Education should be seen as an investment in acquiring the skills and knowledge necessary to thrive in your career path.

I fondly recall the days when I eagerly aspired to be associated with a corporate entity. This was my take on the typical path; transitioning into the workforce, drawing a salary, and embracing adult responsibilities. Often, the next phase is succeeded by matrimony, followed by family planning. Then come the goals of purchasing a car, building a house, and investing for the future. It's a familiar lifestyle that many of us are accustomed to. 

Landing a job marked the initial stride in my quest to achieve the goals I had set forth. A decade has flown by since my graduation, and the picture is quite different from what I had envisioned. The milestones of owning a car, getting married, and buying a house remain on my to-do list, illustrating that life's journey often takes unexpected turns.

Certainly, I care, albeit not with the expected intensity. There are moments when I ponder if I've missed out on fulfilling certain expectations during the opportune times. There was an opportunity for marriage that I let slip away, hindered by deep-seated apprehensions. Perhaps, at that juncture, marriage didn't seem like the right path for me. As for finances, I tend to spend freely, without much thought. I value experience over possessions. You might be conflicted to think I indulge in excess and enjoy savoring life's pleasurable moments.

Looking back, I realize there's not much I can claim as my own, and surprisingly, it doesn't weigh heavily on my mind. Even the laptop I'm currently using isn't mine; it's on loan from the company. I used to own some laptops but chose to distribute them for free. Now, with this company-issued equipment, I'm restricted from installing software. Should I attempt to do so, it would trigger an alert to the administrators.

If you catch the attention of hawk-eyed admins, they won't hesitate to hold you accountable for violating company policies. And that means being under the radar. The framework that companies employ to safeguard their infrastructure is exceptionally robust and complex. It encompasses a vast array of measures that sometimes I find myself thinking, "I will utilize whatever access rights I have been granted. Beyond that, life continues." 

The primary reason we interview for jobs is to secure a source of income. However, it's considered inappropriate to directly express this to the recruiter by saying, "I'm here for the money." Such a statement could jeopardize your chances during the interview process. Consequently, many candidates refrain from showing too much enthusiasm and adopt a more reserved demeanor until an offer is extended. If successful, you accept the offer; otherwise, decline courteously.

As a corporate employee, I am obligated to comply with the company's rules and regulations. This often entails maintaining a modest and cooperative attitude. In many cases, voicing concerns or asserting oneself, especially regarding compensation, is not advisable unless your contributions are recognized and valued by the employer. If you have demonstrated significant value to the organization, that could provide stronger grounds to leverage for fair compensation. Conversely, if the company has played an instrumental role in your professional development, your treatment and compensation will likely align with their standards and expectations. You have not shown ingenuity in small matters.

There will be a point where, as an employee, you will quiver with revulsion. You may have entered the workforce with high hopes, believing that your qualifications and certifications would secure you a favorable position and pay. Yet, unexpectedly, you find yourself in a role that's worlds apart from what you envisioned, tasked with beginning afresh. At that point shadows of gloom loom over your destiny, far removed from the deal you thought you made. You feel like you are in a conundrum. The intensity of the situation is so clear and so plausible. However, despite the turmoil, there's a sense of calm that settles in when the day is done.

Some, like yours truly, are trapped in a state of inertia, unable to muster the courage to update their resume. The thought of revising it feels daunting and overwhelming, akin to a bitter taste or something apocalyptic. There is beauty in brevity. The entire process of job applications is rife with regret, making it a dreadful endeavor. It has created a fallacy of inflexibility and the danger of being indoctrinated that jobs are hard to find.  You feel like you are in trouble, floundering in a swamp and you need an employer to throw a rope your way to save you from drowning. It can feel like being stuck in quicksand, desperately waiting for an employer to extend a lifeline. In a bid to escape this rut, you might consider hiring a recruiter to revamp your resume and usher in positive energy. There's often the allure that a new employer will offer greener pastures and a better working environment.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

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NOTHING EVER CHANGED

Though the heart is relieved and the burden that clogged smashed into shards like the windscreen of a third world Japanese contraption in a less than tragic car accident, there is still an empty void that feels like there is need for it to be filled. There is hope for a better tomorrow. In a nutshell optimism, even in the face of nonfeasance means that there is a drive that will keep the tempo thump.

The truth is that the more things change in life the more they remain the same. We all struggle to get an inkling about what our tomorrow will be. As we do, there is this volatility that is the life we live. At some point, we cease to be in love with our jobs, life itself, the house we live in, the environment and all the fanfare that you can ever think of. You are in a state of Armageddon. Whether it is personal, societal, economic or filial, there are moments in life when there seems to be no brouhaha at all.

When the year blossomed, I remember being woken up by the popping sounds of firecrackers that marshalled a new era in many ways. I remember looking through the window as the whizzing whistles and the thunderous thuds rented the night sky into a sparkle that is usually rare.  The bright flash was nostalgic as it was glittering the sphere, I felt that I should have gone to be part of the new dawn and celebrate with the others in the merriment but the zeal could not evanesce. It was really a delectable spectacle. It was dazzling and amazing as an illuminating giant with the inscription ‘2017’ faded away in the moonless night.

Either way, I remember meeting a former high school buddy who works for a certain non-governmental organisation in Karen on the eve of new year and I realized that nothing ever changes. Dude has remained the same.

He is still the lanky dude with so much to tell, stale jokes, and nothing looks promising in him. He was headed for a showdown with an alumnus somewhere in Jamhuri estate to cross over the year along Ngong Road (He later told me they went to Space Lounge but the beer price was exaggerated they had to chuck). I loved that I was doing things man solo. Yeah! I wanted to mark the day alone because I have never. So, I went to a club called Ricoz at the heart of downtown Nairobi. A place I was introduced to by a colleague who was also introduced by a certain bugger who is an alumnus of my former campus. He told me when he wants to have some me time, he finds his way to this sin city that is renowned for a major slack. Those who you interact with in this place don’t feel a tinge of scuzzy that the air surround this place is.

I believe I am the decent types of people who are never in a hurry to quench their libido once there is an avalanche of twilight girls. In Ricoz, you are spoilt of choice when it comes to the type you want. The only hindrance is that you may take quite some time to get a lanky lady, with a sexy derriere, a bewitching buxom bosom and the despicable smile that may twitch the lecherous urge in the gonads to feel like bursting because they have seen the appetizer. Once one spots you, she will grab your am saying ‘kuja ntakufanyia poa leo.’

Watching football was nice. Once in a while I would sneak to go find out if one who did fit the description of the lass I had thought of would show up. Yes, I am a man, and when you have downed some tots of cheap liquor because the pay was so frothy that month, you feel like finding something to cheer you up. Going to the urinals hoping to bump into her so that you can ease the load is what the minds wants, but the finances and the body does not feel it is right. It’s all about objectification and the primal urges when the blood flows from the brain to the equatorial region you find yourself thinking like a horse on Viagra.

Yet for someone like me whose vowed never to touch a lady of the night, it was quite easy to think of football again. My team Chelsea was having a field day. There is some form of guilt that comes with seeking the services of a hoe. The risk, the truth is that there is that someone who will see you and he will not let the cat out of the bag soon. Then one day, you will be astounded by the tale of you as a person who is after the services of a prostitute, yet you had only gone to watch soccer. I guess I was just feeling a little bit lost and lonely. Tinder was not working out and my amor had gone MIA again.

So I went and ordered a hard drink and a soda to reduce the ukali. I sat at a corner where I had a good view of the telly.  I barely finished my ‘’ka quarter’’. In fact, I left it half way when what I had intended for came to an end. I religiously took the exit even though there were those ladies who wanted to grab me to go and quench their paper urge yet I knew that if I had carried excess cash, there was bound to be temptation to go with one. However, I detest the oblong body shapes of many and inappropriate touching the ladies give men. I don’t think I want to go to a place like that. Unless things are tight and I need to kill the sober tendency, it’s just a lure to peccadillo. By 21hrs I was already in the house hoping to start the new year by doing some little reading. It’s good to be ethical even when faced with temptations right!

Well, I finally managed to change my job location and role. The new role has been quite slow. Albeit, this is just a déjà vu. Am back to the place where I started with. So, the process of adjusting has not been intricate given that there are peeps I already knew. The new environment is quite serene and away from the foul smell that is the ostracized Gikomba by the city gentry. Uptown deluxe it is, it’s a role without much sweating. Sometimes I wish I was given a desk at the brokerage wing, even as an unpaid employee. Then again, there I never a need to rush. You get there at some point. If you don’t, one door will open with full force and you have just to accept it.

Hasta La Vista Baby,

[Picture Source: Google Images]

PS: I rewatched Terminator and there is that point where Terminator tells the villain ‘Hasta La vista Baby.’ Ain’t it funny.

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DASHBOARD, AM I SAFE?

While I was a young boy, I loved watching the dashboard and to be precise the speedometer to find out the velocity at which my dad's car was being driven. There was this adrenaline in me that loved speed. I still do even though I never take chances because I know how the police cell looks like and an imminent wreckage or worse still kicking the bucket. On the contrary, when I exclaim my love for speed, there are people who use it as an avenue of thinking that I am psychotic. Jeez, ain't I allowed to have an awkward tendency? Don’t we in a way have personal idiosyncrasies that when others hear they become timorous?

My pater used to be the only lone driver apart from those rare occasions when he would leave the machine under the care of a driving stalwart. Once I asked him if he could participate in a safari rally but he looked noncommittal. He said he could have tried during his hey days as a ferocious and vivacious driver but could not in his current state (then state close to two decades ago). Immediately after completing driving school, he was given a company car and he had to find a way of ensuring he got to his destination even though there were no Google Maps and other aids during those first timers. Still he managed to do that which he was supposed to accomplish.

I recall he was that guy who could not drive past 100kph. That was his mien. Always disciplined, albeit the radar speed guns had not been introduced in the country. However, he rarely belted apart from those rare occasions when he was coming to Nairobi for seminars and other prolix trips that forced him to drive at belted up. These days, he rarely drives. Luckily, the cars being made now forces one to belt up even if you never want because of that nettling sound which implies you need to secure yourself.

When I started driving. I usually loved speed. There was one day my Oldman left me his car as a rookie to horn my skills and the experience was an eye-opener. I had tried driving at a speed so fast I almost veered off the murram road. Yes, you can when your coordination is still pathetic. Given that it was the ‘car in front of you’ it was wobbling and my postural stability was not wont. And it was not that fast looking at it now. I was doing 50 mph, the recommended speed for all automobiles.

It's almost a decade ever since I knew how to spin the wheel. I have however lost my edge in driving ‘manual’ cars. I could not even put one in motion after some hiatus in driving such car because of reasons I may attest to the adage that you need to learn, forget, and then relearn. And it should be a continuous process lest I forget again because I am the kind of bugger who needs to learn for quite some time before I get my act right. Think of 'Outliers' by Malcolm Gladwell only that in this context, I will not be aiming at turning into a star. Pole Musa.

The stage is now set. Methinks we have a very lousy system that prepares us for contentment and waiting for life to take its own course. That's our kismet and Rubicon. Once we reach a certain milestone, there is no verve to push harder. Yet others never tire even after reaching self-actualization status, they struggle to be immortal. So that they will be remembered eons after living planet earth for outstanding contribution to humanity like the famous Microsoft founder, Bill Gates though he does not wow me that much.

I remember as a student, I used to be told to work hard because hard work pays. While that may seem archaic, in some professions, it is a reality. If you don't go past the usual that you need to do, then, chances are you will be phased out faster than you know it. Hard work combined with wit makes one able to outdo that which they have initially found too complex to achieve. I am experiencing déjà vu.

While in school, we were told to work hard for a better life, ideally, that also applies to everyday work.  Then again, it depends on the type of work you do. However, there are cases of some individùals who I can term as outliers. Those individuals who in some way outdo the system it looks like they were made out of some special substance that we the typical beings struggle with. They are geniuses, and for some reason, these individuals should be widely spaced from the next. Just like failures should be very few. That's what the normalcy curve constitutes. We have very few at the apex, majority at the middle and a small chunk at the lower stratum. That's life for you. And I tell you for free. I am not afraid to say I am among those in the belly of the normal curve. I really want to eschew this, like yesterday.

In Swahili there is a saying that, ‘Mwenzako akinyolewa, tia chako kichwa maji.’ I read the dailies and saw an article that demonstrates the reality within the banking industry. It is the sack. As long as you do not own the job, you are subject to be fired. Even Steve Jobs was chased out of the company he helped found. Consequently, there is a certain bottom tier bank which was forced to relieve its non-performing employees due to streamlining of the banking industry. Its reason for reduction was to be in line with the industry and to prepare to be a tier-two bank. Which pertubs me because when you want to move to the next stage, you need to do the opposite of what they were doing. Forgive my shallow reasoning though. Never mind that I have not read the Banking (Amendment) Act that will surely lead to even more bread winners going home.

It’s already happening, but subtly. Doing it enmass will attract media attention and that means the banks will have to lose out. There is a possibility of shares plummeting further as more branches will be merged, staff reduced in the process and more importantly, loss of income. Already, I have seen this happen. My job description has changed, there are those who were well prepared. They did smell the rat before us who are still sleeping on the job as they have sought greener pasture. I have no idea where they have gone to. Chances are the destination is cosier.

There is this scale which measures how good or bad you are performing in terms of bringing in new customers. It’s called a dashboard. The human resource department has programmers who have designed it to given those if statements and instructions to identify those who are only enjoying doing nothing. For those who are doing well, they never have to worry much. The only problem is that it slices those who don’t work hard. I am a culprit. One day it will chop me off if I do not pull up my socks. Countless times I have been urged to apply for a new job. When I think of starting all over again, I usually let that go. Plus experience has taught me that there it's not easy getting another job.

Even deciding to write does not come easy. You need to pick yourself up in order to write the first few words. Diction also comes into play. What I usually tell myself is that in the event I will be forced to leave my current designation, if it is because of non-performance, I will only take up a new role in that which I would love to do for the rest of my life-investments. Writing is just a hobby I never take seriously anymore. That I have plagiarized a lot of other peoples’ works is not a lie.

You see, I had applied for another designation given that our positions were no longer tenable. It was going to be slightly more luxurious that this one which involves going to the field a lot. You sit the and call and once a customer agrees to your proposal, you approach another. It’s completely different form this one where I have to seek, get shamed, frustrated and sometimes go empty handed. Why did I fail in securing something I thought was kind of better, it all boils down to performance.

There is this person who has been employed to monitor my performance. I think I have a love hate relationship with him. Truth is, I also think I am on a sojourn. If I was to advice a person about sales, I would say that it’s the kind of job a person does for one month and if he is not steadfast enough, once the first salary is paid, you will never see that person again. Others report and when they are told to go to the field, they never turn up for the rest of their lives.  I have survived even though I am taking the bank at a loss. I have reached that position where I am so reliant on the meagre retainer I receive at the end of the month that my thought process is kind of obtuse. It’s because I hate applying for jobs. It’s usually discouraging. At least clients respond, but jobs never.

Since a sales job is not usually permanent, those that excel in it know malleate themselves to be top performers even if they have been served with a termination or eviction notice. Like I have severally intimated, those who break even do so and they reap very big. And in being line with the what nature is, these individuals are few. Majority just ensure they will not be sacked by delivering just the desired results. One day, you wake up and find that your services will no longer be required. It's that simple. As opposed to other jobs where you only need to be seen to have reported in the morning, done something positive  and exit in the evening, it's a different story in sales. If a week goes without you getting a client. Then you are in deep shit. Worse is when it grows into a month. No one cares that you could have been having financial issues, low moments or lack of motivation because you have to apparently motivate yourself. 

And you know what, over the period I have developed a criminal mind. Criminal mentality dictates that one becomes devoid of feeling even though deep down I know that I am this altruistic dude who will go nowhere with such tenets. Criminals expect to prevail in any endeavor. Do I expect to? Yes by all means I need to. I know of guys who spend half a day at work then the rest they engage in activities that they know best.

While this job offers me what I can say is experience, I sometimes usually feel like I am not contributing to the betterment of growing the potential of the organization. That’s why this criminal mentality is sometimes helping. But this also boils down to the fact that when you see your boss looking like they are doing nothing, you also develop the same kind of complacency. Yet you are supposed not to compare yourself with another person but to work on making yourself better.

PS: It's funny that I had to stand in as a witness to a colleague who looks like he will go missing for sometime given that his Whatsapp profile has gone under. I looked at what he was being charged and felt like we really need to reign in on Shylocks. In one month he was supposed to pay up to 25% of the amount he had borrowed. I only did stand in as a witness because in the event this bugger eschews paying his dues, they will be on my neck. Am I even worried? Not in any way. Whether it will be a harrowing experience, only God knows. So I will just have to chalk it up. After all, experience is the father of wisdom. I just had to be positive. 


Hasta La Vista Baby.


[Picture Source: Google Images]

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NEW CHEESE

Cheese tastes nasty in the mouth when you first eat it. I first ate cheese when I was about twelve, the taste was lactic and earthy and I felt like throwing up. Given that I had said I had once eaten it, I had to keep up appearances while cursing why I had even said I ate cheese. I remember it was red cheddar courtesy of an uncle who had got an attachment to work in a certain creamery within our hometown while still a beverage and food student in a far way college. I had to struggle eating a piece then, but now, I can consume any kind of cheese. Obviously there is a caveat; apart from those that have live maggots that I once saw on a certain TV station which should be cozy and reserved for those whose appetite has pandad a plane. 

Ideally, when you need to taste cheese, the first taste organ is your eyes, then nose and lastly tongue because the initiation should be done carefully. Again you need to ensure that you chew it slowly and note how it feels in your mouth. When you eat cheese (or drink wine) there are very specific physical sensations associated with taste: sweet, salty, sour/acidic, bitter. But your mouth is actually quite limited. Most of the romance of food comes after it’s been swallowed. You exhale. A breath of air rushes up the back of your nasal passages and out your nostrils and suddenly there are a million sensory impressions, most of which have to do with smell: grass, hay, stone, soil, leather, soap, perfume, swimming pool, lead, pencil eraser, and on, and on.

Tasting is experiential, there are dozens of ancient and far distant smells, instantly, magically, recalled by a cheese. Once you have swallowed the cheese does the taste stay. That lingering flavour, often different from the first is called the finish. Which can be; nutty, acrid, soapy, piquant, silky, brothy, tangy and the list of taste is endless. Cheese is a great place to start when learning to isolate and identify different flavours. Highly complex, cheese at its best is a true terroir food; one that is deeply influenced by the subtle nuances of the land from which it is produced.  

I am not a foodie. However, I love food. My immediate manager has noticed this and she told me that I eat a lot. Which I never disputed because it would have ended up being raucous given that I sometimes have those ‘tu mafeelings’. The only abnegation is that the chow is not manifesting itself in my body weight, which has been the same ever since I left high school. I tried to recall instances in the workplace where I eat so much but those thoughts have become elusive. Given that I only partake of a full meal once in a while (mostly rice with some queer beef). Most of the time, I usually take snacks which cannot be as satiating as real food. Kuna kachai kwa ofisi through out.

We normally eat on our desks in the office, breakfast and lunch and for some bachelors, the evening tea serves as supper. Though it’s kind of gross. That is how she managed to realize that I eat so much. But I have never consumed more than two mandazis, or chapatti. The most I have ever eaten is a boiled maize, a sausage and a chapatti. And there was a day I did eat an omelet served with four slices of bread. Is that too much? If it is then I need to reduce on the uptake of calories I do in a day.

So you see, I am not a heavy consumer when it comes to food. In fact, I have some tooth cavities that make eating meat and some food quite a hurdle. Perhaps the reason why I end up consuming too much victuals is because I have this mutating dry cough that has been quite resistant for a while. There is a theory that eating aids in contributing towards eliminating diseases when done dietetically given that there are some meals full of cholesterol and those adipose and oxytocin that should be eliminated from the body.

I hate coughing. It's irritating and piquing. I have to bear with it though. It’s what life has bestowed upon me even though that should not be the case. I was told by an aged medic that it has something to do with allergy, dust or smoke. In that regard, I have been trying to be a stickler to some drugs. I was even given a jab in my left arm to ease the cold. The aged nurse told me to keep my arm relaxed to prevent the contents of the jab from spewing from my body. This cough will mark its first month or more given it has overstayed its welcome. It becomes debilitating when I sleep at night especially when the nasal passage is compromised, I seriously choke so much so that I sometimes feel like I am going to meet my creator the next minute.  Thank goodness I did some first aid some eons ago. When such instances arise, I ensure my head is elevated in position where the airway is not compromised. In the meantime, I am also trying warm water therapy, a combination of lemon and tangawizi (ginger) albeit the process has not had a desirable breakthrough. Luckily given that I am on drugs, I presume that they will not let me down at the end of the day.

Thank goodness, I chose to work where systems are adhered to. Someone cannot just wake up one day and decide that you are up for termination without a proper procedure for dismissal. When changes in the banking sector were taking effect, there was tension and though our actions are tantamount to the act of an ostrich burying its face inside sand, we are surely left exposed. However, loss is the side of loving they never warn you of. It comes like death. Amid the possibility of job loss or continuity, there is still a month in store for me.

I remember updating my profile on LinkedIn having found a new job. A job that sometimes is frustrating, fulfilling and exciting. When the axe man (hr in charge of dismissal) came to notify us of our department being thinned, it came as a shocker to many. It was barely a week after updating my profile on the professional media platform and I had got so many likes which was elating. Then the unexpected news came. Though I was moved, I was quite disillusioned by the hurry it had taken me to tell the world that I had found yet another job. Naturally, it’s not only embarrassing but also demeaning to have lost a job within few months. Already, we are still waiting for communication so that we can be able to find out whether our time is nigh.

In the meantime, my job description has changed. It encompasses new products to sell and master. I have realized that there is some kind of ease in selling loans. As opposed to selling credit cards, people like it when they can be able to receive a colossal amount of income which they can use for personal development or investment.

What’s more, when you call a client with the intent or notifying him or her about revised rates which they are not aware about, they usually give you time to explain to them without them rubbishing you off. In fact, selling paper money as opposed to plastic money is more appealing to the average Tom, Dick and Harry because they can be able to plan and use the income for the purpose they intend from the lending facility. Clients are even more receptive. Even when they never take something, they give you hope of calling another individual without the feeling of discouragement of persuading a client to take a credit card.

What’s a plus is that the skills harnessed in one stage is still effective for use in another. I used to hate it when a customer would out rightly tell me before selling that if it is a card I was pushing for, then I should not even think about further going into deeper detail. While I used to take time to even get a customer who would call back, it’s now a reality. Some are calling back requesting for a top up of a loan in most cases. Those who do so have apparently not qualified for it though. They easily give their pay slips without worry and I think I am loving it that they trust even a person they have not yet seen.

The cheese has moved. The industry looks quite buoyant in the coming days. What I know is that most people still think that banks usually have hidden charges that they never tell their customers about. For example, if you apply for a loan of 1 million, there is no way you will get the whole of it, close to 5% of that amount will go towards paying taxes, catering for insurance and negotiation fees which part of is used to pay the sales guy who brought the loan to the bank.

Sales people survive on commissions. They are the only people with irregular income. The number one salesperson is usually the chief executive officer (though the person has pay protection because of holding vital company information). All other staff play such role but their pay is fixed. Sales is challenging. It is tactically the only job where a person can multitask. As long as you have made your money, you are good to go. But it’s tough and interesting. Finding a niche can be quite perplexing. But when you get your true grounding, I swear, you will be reaping big, influencing people positively and never complaining of doing the job that you initially took up as a pastime or one to reduce on being idle in the digs.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: My own]

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THE HURDLES OF BROTHER JERO

“Excuse me sir, I came for my certificate.” A bewildered former KU student was telling one of my clients, a lecturer in the institution. 

“Young man, first correct your sentence. Came is past. Can you talk like someone who knows English?”

I looked at the young man, a former student; he looked confused and disheveled. One of his long sleeves was tousled and folded while the other was crinkled even though I did understand how tough it can be to be an ex student in a public university hustling for a job. This was made worse given the fact that the don was probing him questions in a commanding tone to scare the hell out of his timidity which was evident in his posture and facial expression. Even his raiment and shoes bereaved him of any confidence. He had ‘toughees’ like shoes. Does that mean he had not got out of high school mentality. I guess four years in campus is enough to re-engineer a student's fashion sense to find some formal kind of footwear that will not deny you the status of someone who should be proletariat in due course. Those shoes did signify a lot.

Later the don told me of how the immediate alumni were eager for the certificates entailing their leadership skills and competency whilst some could barely construct a coherent sentence without switching to sheng. He said that in the event he would have questioned the former student further, he would have easily started crying (I doubt since he was a man) and gone away saying how ludicrous and bureaucratic public institutions are run. Yet he was partly to blame for issuing certificates in leadership when his very own students could not have the requisite courage to even face him yet many had qualified with distinction. What of a no nonsense employer who will not have time for you in the event you look timid in front of them?

This client worked in the English and Linguistics department and hence easily got irked when someone in his right senses was mutilating what heavily mattered in his pursuit for income. The Queens lingo.  From my analysis of him for the short duration we were together, I realized that he was an easy and witty guy, loved to book appointments which he was reckless in documenting because he wrote it on a piece of paper that can be easily shredded or end up in being used for wiping the arse. I loved the way he joked about Facebook. However, I don't remember what he attested about the social media giant. He ended up laughing at his own joke.

Anyway, he was the first client who I found with all the requirements I needed even though my intent then was not to go and sign him up. That's a serious guy. In fact, I had wanted to go and notify him then wait for him to sign up after a couple of days given that there were questions he needed addressed. I went away smiling with the documents at hand having nailed at my first glance. Some people can be really easy. Especially if they know what they want.

Ideally, he was not an easy client, he only knew the product that I sell which happens to be a credit card which most Kenyans are not aware about and if they are, they presume it is a lending scheme availed to them to be consumers of that which is not within their means. They assume that a credit card will make them excessive spenders which will land them in debt given that they are satisfied with the little they get from their employers. Yet most still lament how they are peanuts, yet when you are given an avenue for using money without paying interest, you become conscious that there are hidden charges that you are not being told about.

So far, none of my friends has taken up the product I have sold to them. The few who have tried to even listen to me have been wishy-washy so much so that am tempted to just tell them that at the end of the day when I call you, it's sometimes just a way of checking on you as we go somewhere a take a cup of coffee or tea as we go about the business of making money which can lead me in getting a client from him or her. Nothing serious though.

Talking of pals, there is one thing I have realized in them. Selling to your friend even when he does not buy what you are selling is the best bet towards starting off as a salesman. If you are lucky to even find one sign-up or purchaser, then you will have started on the right track. They give you the avenue of making all the mistakes without you being reprimanded. You get to chat first then see how you can introduce what you have.  You get to gain by making a presentation hence improving on the product knowledge which also improves your confidence. Nevertheless, many have this conviction that you are friends and hence you do not need to do something like being a product seller. Some see the desperation you are going through, others wonder why you have stooped so low while others cheer you up because they say finding a job not matter how small the pay is, the better because there are more potential employees than jobs.

I instinctively love those who make a steadfast decision that they are never interested or those who say they will think about it in future. As a rookie, all you need is an answer instead of someone beating about the bush, giving empty promises then ends up refusing to take your third call because you look like you are forcing them to buy what you are selling. It’s even worse when you try to hook up with a friend whom you had to find the contact through a proxy or on a Whatsapp group after which you introduce yourself. A person will be like, “So this guy just wants me to buy when all along he has never even bothered about me. My grandpa died and he never even sent a condolence message.” 


Such thoughts usually ran on many people’s instincts, especially those you have known for some time. What motivates is I have this blog, I tried to sell it to my friends and the uptake was quite distant. Does that prevent me from writing? It does not, someone somewhere will consume what I am writing. The same way, if you are jobless, you wonder why people do not need your services then when you get a job, you are wondering why you are overworked and underpaid.

In anticipation of the time where I will not have to call my friends and they refuse to pick my call because of the belief that I am going to sell them something, I will steer away from calling them. Not that I even used to do so. But as time passes by and I possibly get another job through vertical ascendance or career break, I will call because our circumstances are not fixated. Maybe they may be having down moments and they need a friend to console them, or they may be in need because a friend in need is a friend in deed.

Luckily, as the sages once intimated, you can never have ten friends for more than ten years. The demand of the job market has made such that you may only socialize on the different social media page chat-rooms or never do that because they are skirt or paper chasing. If you can offer a ‘round’ then you will be good friends. Never mind that it is still a product they are buying. If they decide to invest, unless it is in shares, bonds, or they decide to leverage the amount they have by dealing directly with an investment firm, they will still need product selling skills. And it will be worse in the event they are starting off because they will be looking at a person as a consumer. Plus, they will be like me now whose notion is, ‘If only I can convincingly convert this person to buy from me given that he does not have my product, I will be the next millionaire in town.’

Guess riches comes through a good product proposition, working smart and selling to the masses at a discount. Products like Microsoft Word- which I use free of charge-, Blogger and a host of others do not need marketers but a mechanism of reaching out to many people. That way, they use the clout that comes with people using the product to increase their income streams. Yet that is not the way that credit cards work. Having been in the business for quite some time, this is more of a personal product. Say visiting a dentist with a tooth cavity and he is the only guy who knows what’s in your mouth.

So it is the salesperson who best knows the client, especially credit card sellers. Nothing is as innate to a person like the documents he gives to a salesman, who is a hustler by the way. He can easily judge your financial situation as either a person who lives past the minimum wage requirements or has excess which you can use to pay for luxurious items and still remain with more to save in the bank; you wonder how she does it but ethically, you will not divulge such info because of the oath and ethically it is not right.

To see a client, the first contact you have with the ground is shoes. If I asked my shoes what it has gone though, they would never give an assuaging remark. Yet I have gone to offices which are red carpeted and I felt like I was slowly sinking inside but still landing on a cushion. Those are the times I felt like lying on the floor and forgetting my sorrows. Though the soles are wearing out faster. There are offices with blue carpets; others are brown and a variety of other colours depending on the status of the individual. My shoes know best, they get dusty every day apart from Sunday which is the day I relax. At the onset, I used to go to the cloakroom to find if I can get some tissue paper to remove the dust on them. But as time has taught me, very few institutions buy tissue paper and stock the same in restroom. The most notorious ones which don’t buy the same are public offices but the only plus is that the WCs, and urinals are clean in most of the offices.

Writing of toilets, I have now known few places where I can go and relieve myself in the event I have no coins in my pocket and am pressed. The job of a car-less salesman is to walk and walk and walk. A sale rarely brings itself in the office. Unless you have been in the field for long and probably know how to maneuver your ways, closing a deal in the office is not easy. While cold calling in most of the offices, you will get to know those that are having toilets which are not locked and those where you can easily find free condoms for those whose libido is loose but still need to protect themselves or those who find it hard to purchase the same products in supermarket or the Nairobian Nights alleyway which are laced with the same in almost all the streets where a club exists.

There is some magic that works for most clients in certain offices. That will not work for a client in an office full of disarranged files and papers and probably holed up in a cubicle where his face just tells that he is going through moments that are tight. Praising someone who looks sharp and even going further to commend his office on a positive front makes someone to easily feel flattered and he may close the deal or refer you to clients of equal status. What’s more, you need to listen a lot. Most people want someone to listen to them, if you do, you are patient and offer solutions though a beneficial product, they will even give you referrals. All you need is a convincing language, which comes through breaking the ice by using well thought of flowery words. Like there is a certain gentleman we found in an office and first told him of how his spacious office looked spacious and relaxing and with an aerial view you would die for since it located next to the window on the 15th floor. In response, he said we try out the seat to get a feel of what he was feeling.


I am still pursuing him given that he was very interested in and told me to check on him later when he has made up his mind. If he signs, my efforts will not have gone to waste, if he does not, i will be like, "At least I tried but my language never worked."

  

To be Continued

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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TECHNICAL MENTALITY

If our office had ears, if only people could hear the words we say. Lately, there seems to be some form of dissonance in how I am working and achieving results. That behind, there is prudence in it all. The lesson learnt, the skills gained, the pain undergone, the pangs of disappointments we have to endure and the success stories untold that make our spirits rise out of our chests with shouts of joy echoing around. When all are wrapped into one, they become what is called the wholesomeness of humanity. I have realized that in order to be safe, as a person, there is nothing wrong with erring. Not that excellence is not a virtue. It is. But countless times, we found ourselves in already made situations. I am a victim.

The other day I sat with a colleague after hours in the office waiting for a client. I wanted to seek his insight as a seasoned workmate who has with stormed the vagaries of the industry so much so that he has become independent and can handle so much I even admire his patience, wit and the clientele he has built. What did he tell me, ‘Run my friend and seek a better opportunity.’ That is after asking what I had pursued while in campus.

At that point, I looked at him crestfallen. Why has he stayed put yet he is telling me to run? Does he know what I really want? Is he right or does he have malicious intent? He may or may not be right. Only time will tell. As a motto, life can be a journey of losses or one full of roses. You lose one battle after the other. However, in certain instances, you gain more than you would have imagined. But one quote, one morning gave me the psyche that I really needed, that “Cowards die many times before their deaths. The brave experience death only once.”

When I got a new job, a job I would never have done by hook or crook having sworn that it is not the kind of place I wanted to venture into after schooling. Then, one day, while reading some professionally written blog, I was convinced beyond any reasonable doubt that indeed, a career in such an industry would provide a goodstart in my future endeavours. It’s funny that the job came right after I had cleared my professional paper whose results I will receive in a week’s time. I rue why I never read a certin book I have now forgot the title and author.

I want to tarry for a while. Even if closing a sale will not be easy at start and results will not be forthcoming.  Provided that there is something good attained at the end of the day. This is because the best things in life have no monetary attachment to them. But when they become valued, the price is quite enormous. They are like platinum in a nutshell. I am yet to see how platinum looks like. Like they say, as you crawl, you wish you would one day be walking. When you start balancing and becoming steady, you want to run and the list is endless. Maybe, if I get to see platinum, I will be indifferent and want an even greater challenge.

Being employed is great. But hiding about the same is not. Especially when you are in a job that I am in. Soon, everyone knows what you are doing and you need them to. Because you have to tell one or two friends, which will spread like bushfire. And when you do, you have exposed that you are attached somewhere. The place where no one wanted to go because it was practically not high yielding monetarily. But after being in the industry for quite some time. There is no denial that even the far I have come, someone would want just a piece of it.

There is a pal of mine who we usually engage in chitchats while reminiscing our woes of being poor performers. I need to change tact, right. Ideally, I want to cross the bridge to be performer. This is a gradual process that will bring be unraveled by this blog in due course. I trust this blog for one reason. It really tells if things will come to pass. Like, looking back, there are pitfalls that I have fallen inside. There are moments I have felt enriched and there are occasions that have come as a blessing. So my fate is not cast in stone.

Did I say I have been performing badly? Oh yes, figures never lie. My dashboard has a red flag. It is telling me each morning that I need to make amends with someone to hit the green flag. The green flag means a change in fortunes. It’s synonymous to the proverb that says, ‘Make hay while the sun shines.’ There is nothing better than having greens on your dashboard. When you do, you will probably do away with eating greens. Kales for that matter without an appetizing stew with some organic accompaniments.

Let me flash-forward. I am seated with a smartly dressed corporate honcho, somewhere in a serene aura. Probably in a ritzy hotel, or an expansive office where the lights are iridescent and you rarely notice that the walls have corners. I then start imagining. What if this was me being served at my own pleasure. Like there was a certain video I watched on Facebook where a certain lady went to meet the mother of her boyfriend and immediately she was given a handshake, she went into euphoria. Imagining she was being given a gold after a hurdle and then confetti being blown in the air to celebrate her for achieving such an onerous task.

I am imagining I am in that position. Not in the sense of bliss after meeting an in law, but, meeting people wo will give me good business. People who will make my wallet bulge with sheer potency if I become a witty raconteur who has mustered the art ‘Maneno matamu hutoa nyoka pangoni.’

To sum it up, I realized I had poor relationship skills. I needed to nurture them. As I continue doing so, I am shifting from being that reclusive person to an overtly expressive individual. That never comes easy. You need an avenue for such. A long the way, you learn a lot. If you are paid to learn that skill and bring in results, then why not. A man must work. Shoes soles must wear out, the collar of the shirt must constantly turn brown if white at the end of the day due to perpetual movements and the best bit is you learn to listen and not be the teller of stories. Why? We have two years and one mouth. Listen more and talk less.

Hasta La Vista Baby.


[Picture Source: My Own]

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A HAPPY SLAVE

I am now a happy slave. But who is a happy slave? Forget about the chained ones or those who work under duress. I am talking about the new era slaves. Chances are you are one of them. Since most of us aspire to be one. The best thing about new era slavery is that you are able to choose your master who intern determines your pay. All in all we are subject to a person who reigns supreme over us. And they are small lords we need to worship.

If you have stayed at home for some period of time, you usually just want a place where you will go and interact with other fellow beings in order to get money. Money is the king in the current world. All and sundry are working towards being financially stable. Even those you think have made enough still want more. There is the maintenance of status quo which you have to work for or else, time and money will work against you.

So as a happy slave, you need to wake up very early in the morning. You think that the process ended when you left high school. After struggling in high school, you get a relief by going on vacation in campus. This is because, while in campus, it was a journey of fairy tales. No bells, reminders or pushers. Just you to decide whether you are going to follow the rote or not. It is like you prepare yourself in life for big things just to end up having your life determined by another individual who perhaps does not care about you.

Sometimes I rue why I was born in this situation. Where was my grandpa while other men of equal stance were building dynasties and empires in preparation for a better life for their future generation. Perhaps, by now I would have been thinking about going to the next level. Either building up on the retained wealth or using it impetuously forgetting that tomorrow will come. However, chances are, the latter effect would have never surfaced.

  

Since I am now a happy slave, I will have to take it easy. The sky is now the limit. The only problem I usually have is that I am never a stickler to time or love commitment. But now there is room for improvement having learnt from the past mistakes. As you grow, you become wiser. Wisdom is the source of wealth. 

Since I have lost the verve that I initially had and given that I am waiting for it to resurface, I must end there hoping that in my zetetic endeavour of being a happy slave, I will get further insight and be able to grow and go big in the new found venture. 

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Photo Source: Google Images].

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A CUP OF TEA

Some conversations can sound banal when you overhear if you have no option because you cannot ear muff in a public setting. However, such conversations are usually very material. They are laced with real life situations of past events that may have no meaning in the current dispensation. Yet we have to learn from the past to be able to make meaningful progress. The past forms our heritage and helps in eschewing mistakes that are repetitive.

Over the week, I was in a matatu headed to town to ask for some referral letters my prospective employer wanted from me. Since the matatu did not have hip music with loud speakers and since I could not sleep, I decided to keenly listen to two gentlemen conversing on Moi-Era policies and politics. It was barely a week after finishing Exams when I got a call that I should avail the documents as quickly as possible which was also a God send. Imagine finishing exams then you are due for employment, is than not a blessing?

I have to be very candid. The Kenyan system has prepared us to be job seekers. Even if we wanted to be our own bosses, the lure for easy money while working without much commitment makes us love being employed. Again, fear of the unknown, lack of capital and skills makes us shun venturing into sole proprietorship. So am party to the whole employment ideology. And in that regard, I am also waiting for this employer to act swiftly and judiciously to probably see the urgency that I need a job.

As I intimated, I was in a mathree, two men probably in their late forties or early fifties were conversing and there was one who was seated in front to my right whose voice towered over the Sonitek sounding speakers. They were specifically conversing about how retired president Moi made in a requirement that all civil servants who were on leave were supposed to head back to their rural homes to reduce lethargy in the city. And when they were coming back, they were not supposed to carry cereals that exceeded a certain amount. Since police road blocks were erected on all major towns and centres, your car would be ransacked arbitrarily and the excess retained by the officers or you risked being jailed. I have not yet confirmed the rationale or certainty of the gen but am sure there were health, personal and a variety of other reasons behind the caveat.

The men also talked about how it was mandatory for students in colleges to get the Chief’s approval letter when heading back to campus as a sign that they were not wayward or engaging in acts forbidden by the law whether de jure or de facto. I never knew there would have been a relationship between this employer and the Kanu era policies until I sat down and synthesized my predicaments which are now over. At least this is a consolation given the fact that I am not alone in this struggle.

Anyway, as a matter of fact, one has to conduct due diligence and have a reasonable basis that you are indeed clean before they hire you. That means they have to carry out checks that are sometimes very severe that on the surface look very trivial. In fact, I had never known that getting a recommendation letter can be a hustle. I had to kill some of my ambitions and pursuits to attend to another juggernaut that got me worried so much.

Having contacted my former employer, I thought they had mechanisms in place to issue a recommendation letter. Woe unto me, they had no such structure, again, they barely know formal English. As a result, it was a challenge convincing them to write me a letter to send to my new employer. What was frustrating was the fact that they were directing me to another person whose English was also pathetic. I remember when he wrote some policies for the company, I felt like crying. I wondered why the quest for money had landed me. The statements flouted all grammatical rules and I felt like posting the printout on social media but my senses would not allow me. As a result, I kept it somewhere but it got lost with the course of time. Now, I know why I should at least work with institutions with structures. Workplaces that are devoid of emotions and are run professionally without any stigma. In the end, I contacted my former boss who was of aid and I got served.

Then there was Red Cross. I was required to get a letter from them also. And it goes without doubt that this is one of the most bureaucratic process I had to go through in order to get documentation. A problem arose since I had not been participating in many activities in the recent past due to studies and personal commitments. I needed someone who knew me to act as a referee to assure the final referee that I have a clean sheet. One of the biggest problems I faced was in contacting our youth chair who has a fulltime job and hence is rarely in the Red Cross offices to certify that he knows those who are seeking recommendation letters. There was a time in the process of searching for the document where I got frustrated to the point I felt like, ‘Is this hustle really worth it.’

The first time I called the contact person, he never picked my phone nor replied to my message. But being that person who is usually ignored, I took it that he was just like the others. After another day, I did call and he did pick but I was running out of time. The county manager who was supposed to sign my document was not in the country and not even my life membership certificate aided in making matters better. I envied the government even though it can be very bureaucratic also given that they process documents not by knowing someone but by looking at your records.

It was while looking for this documents that I thought of an employment opportunity that could reduce the red tape of getting a document from our local Red Cross branch. If only they could be able to store information in a database, say Microsoft Access or Excel where retrieval is easier, they could reduce the frustrations people go through. Why do you need two approvals before you are given a recommendation letter? Just by the look of the activities you did can serve as a better representation than relying on a person who knows you. From the activities, reports are generated at the end of the day to find out whether there were any misdemeanors. If there were none, then you are cleared and given you letter based on those grounds, if any adverse information is written and you are mentioned, then your letter is delayed to allow for further scrutiny.

But I loved the explanation they gave as to why they could not write that letter just yet. Given that there was a person who misused the letter after employment by going on ahead and stealing from the organization he was employed in, there was reluctance in issuing those letters. However, sole situations should not be used to incriminate those that are ‘clean’. Even using another person to certify that he knows you does not help much. What helps a lot is records.

I realized that there are no reliable records that are used but only the use of memory by the officer in charge to ratify your documents after asking you few questions which you may cram if given ‘leakage’. Anyway, at the end of the day, I was able to get the document. It has taught me an important lesson. That I need to form a good rapport with those I work with. They can break or make you. Initially, I had taken for granted people knowing me. I loved being mysterious. To remain that person who is seen and when am gone from the situation, they forget about me.

I initially intimated that I will henceforth work with an employer who has got structures. This is because, when I phoned my former boss where I worked as a teacher, he was very formal and straight with regard to handling my issue. He only had to check his files and judiciously make an informed decision when he realized he had forgotten who I was. He did set an appointment date and when I visited, he duly helped.

At this point, I appreciate that formal education to a certain level is very crucial. If you deal with someone without formal education, they may frustrate you for no good reason. Plus, I repeat, storing information in a database is still one of the most important things in life as it eases some time consuming processes.

Anyway.

Away from the frustrations and hectic process of getting letters, I met one of my former campus mates. We met near TUK on some vibandas where I also went for a haircut since my hair was turning out to be unproportioned. He was very bitter as to why he wasted his time in campus. Even me (sic), I usually thought of having wasted time going to campus but not anymore. Like if I had invested the money in a business, I would have been having reliable income if the business picked. He intimated about those days he spent reading in the library and having sleepless nights while in high school and campus. Then someone decides to give him the job of sweeping floors and packing goods awaiting them to be shipped overseas. I wanted to tell him my bit of having sometimes washed toilets, washed clothes for the orphans and other obscene jobs. I washed clothes that you wear gloves to wash because they are laced with urine or faeces. And a variety of other things that you do on a voluntary basis you wonder why you even went to campus. But they aid in reducing lolling. Better still, you have something to do when idle.

At least, in his case, he was being paid. In my case, I was not employed and that was a better way of making use of my time until other projects arose. Plus, there is always mystery of not handling routine work when you volunteer in an organisation like Red cross.

My pal was more irked by the fact that his immediate supervisor was a holder of a certificate and he used to tell him to issue out his CV so that in the event a vacancy did arise, he would be considered. But in his vile thoughts which I insularly consented with, he was of the opinion that upon receipt of the document, the bugger would use it as material for reuse or place it in a paper shredder or worse still, use it to light his jiko.

We talked about a variety of other stuff that was affecting an unemployed graduate. If only there was a way of absorbing this clueless labor force, then, something good would be in the offing for this nation. As a job seeker who now has hopes, I know that I am not alone. Nonetheless, there is this huge monster that has invaded the employment industry called corruption. For example, there are certain institutions where you have to part with a million shillings to be employed paid upfront or in installments. The problem arises with regard in knowing right person to give the money if you have it. Additionally, if your folks are not that liquid, you need to take up what comes your way. Seething with rage will not help. So it all boils down that to a certain extent, the job market has been left to the people who have means. If you are a hohe hahe and you don’t secure a place through graduate recruitment, chances are you will have to wait a little longer because new graduates who are more agile will be considered over you an old graduate. In order to reduce gaps in your resume, you just take up whatever little you are given. They call it starting small. And the Chinese did intimate that the journey of a thousand miles start with a single step.

As for my prospective employer, I have gone through a lot and I am yet to even encounter very frustrating incidences that make me want to give up the quest. Right now, I am uncertain as to whether I will get that job. If you don’t give me that job which has taken me months I even wanted to write you a personal letter asking why it was taking so long, I will appreciate the fact you bequeathed me with some new experience. I know better how to handle myself with regard to getting recommendation letters.

You may deny me that opportunity or grant it if you wish. I did my able best and when you are through with the hard part which made me even want to quit it altogether, you feel a relief that is only innate. When you are struggling and having sleepless nights thinking of how people have authority over your life, you realize that at the end of the day you are no longer a liberal being.

As I await for my two results; exam and employment, I am upbeat that things are never static. When one door closes, another opens and you learn from previous mistakes by taking measures that aid in obliterating that which is hampering a move to the next stage. As I sit down writing this, I wonder why I have informally turned into a professional student and job seeker. It is a struggle but someday, I will have a breakthrough. Luckily, I love the fact that I can sometimes be able to apply the various skills learnt all at once as time progresses. That enough is motivation to continue. Who knows, someone may want me to help him out with my knowledge when am ripe.

               

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: My own]

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