DASHBOARD, AM I SAFE?

While I was a young boy, I loved watching the dashboard and to be precise the speedometer to find out the velocity at which my dad's car was being driven. There was this adrenaline in me that loved speed. I still do even though I never take chances because I know how the police cell looks like and an imminent wreckage or worse still kicking the bucket. On the contrary, when I exclaim my love for speed, there are people who use it as an avenue of thinking that I am psychotic. Jeez, ain't I allowed to have an awkward tendency? Don’t we in a way have personal idiosyncrasies that when others hear they become timorous?

My pater used to be the only lone driver apart from those rare occasions when he would leave the machine under the care of a driving stalwart. Once I asked him if he could participate in a safari rally but he looked noncommittal. He said he could have tried during his hey days as a ferocious and vivacious driver but could not in his current state (then state close to two decades ago). Immediately after completing driving school, he was given a company car and he had to find a way of ensuring he got to his destination even though there were no Google Maps and other aids during those first timers. Still he managed to do that which he was supposed to accomplish.

I recall he was that guy who could not drive past 100kph. That was his mien. Always disciplined, albeit the radar speed guns had not been introduced in the country. However, he rarely belted apart from those rare occasions when he was coming to Nairobi for seminars and other prolix trips that forced him to drive at belted up. These days, he rarely drives. Luckily, the cars being made now forces one to belt up even if you never want because of that nettling sound which implies you need to secure yourself.

When I started driving. I usually loved speed. There was one day my Oldman left me his car as a rookie to horn my skills and the experience was an eye-opener. I had tried driving at a speed so fast I almost veered off the murram road. Yes, you can when your coordination is still pathetic. Given that it was the ‘car in front of you’ it was wobbling and my postural stability was not wont. And it was not that fast looking at it now. I was doing 50 mph, the recommended speed for all automobiles.

It's almost a decade ever since I knew how to spin the wheel. I have however lost my edge in driving ‘manual’ cars. I could not even put one in motion after some hiatus in driving such car because of reasons I may attest to the adage that you need to learn, forget, and then relearn. And it should be a continuous process lest I forget again because I am the kind of bugger who needs to learn for quite some time before I get my act right. Think of 'Outliers' by Malcolm Gladwell only that in this context, I will not be aiming at turning into a star. Pole Musa.

The stage is now set. Methinks we have a very lousy system that prepares us for contentment and waiting for life to take its own course. That's our kismet and Rubicon. Once we reach a certain milestone, there is no verve to push harder. Yet others never tire even after reaching self-actualization status, they struggle to be immortal. So that they will be remembered eons after living planet earth for outstanding contribution to humanity like the famous Microsoft founder, Bill Gates though he does not wow me that much.

I remember as a student, I used to be told to work hard because hard work pays. While that may seem archaic, in some professions, it is a reality. If you don't go past the usual that you need to do, then, chances are you will be phased out faster than you know it. Hard work combined with wit makes one able to outdo that which they have initially found too complex to achieve. I am experiencing déjà vu.

While in school, we were told to work hard for a better life, ideally, that also applies to everyday work.  Then again, it depends on the type of work you do. However, there are cases of some individùals who I can term as outliers. Those individuals who in some way outdo the system it looks like they were made out of some special substance that we the typical beings struggle with. They are geniuses, and for some reason, these individuals should be widely spaced from the next. Just like failures should be very few. That's what the normalcy curve constitutes. We have very few at the apex, majority at the middle and a small chunk at the lower stratum. That's life for you. And I tell you for free. I am not afraid to say I am among those in the belly of the normal curve. I really want to eschew this, like yesterday.

In Swahili there is a saying that, ‘Mwenzako akinyolewa, tia chako kichwa maji.’ I read the dailies and saw an article that demonstrates the reality within the banking industry. It is the sack. As long as you do not own the job, you are subject to be fired. Even Steve Jobs was chased out of the company he helped found. Consequently, there is a certain bottom tier bank which was forced to relieve its non-performing employees due to streamlining of the banking industry. Its reason for reduction was to be in line with the industry and to prepare to be a tier-two bank. Which pertubs me because when you want to move to the next stage, you need to do the opposite of what they were doing. Forgive my shallow reasoning though. Never mind that I have not read the Banking (Amendment) Act that will surely lead to even more bread winners going home.

It’s already happening, but subtly. Doing it enmass will attract media attention and that means the banks will have to lose out. There is a possibility of shares plummeting further as more branches will be merged, staff reduced in the process and more importantly, loss of income. Already, I have seen this happen. My job description has changed, there are those who were well prepared. They did smell the rat before us who are still sleeping on the job as they have sought greener pasture. I have no idea where they have gone to. Chances are the destination is cosier.

There is this scale which measures how good or bad you are performing in terms of bringing in new customers. It’s called a dashboard. The human resource department has programmers who have designed it to given those if statements and instructions to identify those who are only enjoying doing nothing. For those who are doing well, they never have to worry much. The only problem is that it slices those who don’t work hard. I am a culprit. One day it will chop me off if I do not pull up my socks. Countless times I have been urged to apply for a new job. When I think of starting all over again, I usually let that go. Plus experience has taught me that there it's not easy getting another job.

Even deciding to write does not come easy. You need to pick yourself up in order to write the first few words. Diction also comes into play. What I usually tell myself is that in the event I will be forced to leave my current designation, if it is because of non-performance, I will only take up a new role in that which I would love to do for the rest of my life-investments. Writing is just a hobby I never take seriously anymore. That I have plagiarized a lot of other peoples’ works is not a lie.

You see, I had applied for another designation given that our positions were no longer tenable. It was going to be slightly more luxurious that this one which involves going to the field a lot. You sit the and call and once a customer agrees to your proposal, you approach another. It’s completely different form this one where I have to seek, get shamed, frustrated and sometimes go empty handed. Why did I fail in securing something I thought was kind of better, it all boils down to performance.

There is this person who has been employed to monitor my performance. I think I have a love hate relationship with him. Truth is, I also think I am on a sojourn. If I was to advice a person about sales, I would say that it’s the kind of job a person does for one month and if he is not steadfast enough, once the first salary is paid, you will never see that person again. Others report and when they are told to go to the field, they never turn up for the rest of their lives.  I have survived even though I am taking the bank at a loss. I have reached that position where I am so reliant on the meagre retainer I receive at the end of the month that my thought process is kind of obtuse. It’s because I hate applying for jobs. It’s usually discouraging. At least clients respond, but jobs never.

Since a sales job is not usually permanent, those that excel in it know malleate themselves to be top performers even if they have been served with a termination or eviction notice. Like I have severally intimated, those who break even do so and they reap very big. And in being line with the what nature is, these individuals are few. Majority just ensure they will not be sacked by delivering just the desired results. One day, you wake up and find that your services will no longer be required. It's that simple. As opposed to other jobs where you only need to be seen to have reported in the morning, done something positive  and exit in the evening, it's a different story in sales. If a week goes without you getting a client. Then you are in deep shit. Worse is when it grows into a month. No one cares that you could have been having financial issues, low moments or lack of motivation because you have to apparently motivate yourself. 

And you know what, over the period I have developed a criminal mind. Criminal mentality dictates that one becomes devoid of feeling even though deep down I know that I am this altruistic dude who will go nowhere with such tenets. Criminals expect to prevail in any endeavor. Do I expect to? Yes by all means I need to. I know of guys who spend half a day at work then the rest they engage in activities that they know best.

While this job offers me what I can say is experience, I sometimes usually feel like I am not contributing to the betterment of growing the potential of the organization. That’s why this criminal mentality is sometimes helping. But this also boils down to the fact that when you see your boss looking like they are doing nothing, you also develop the same kind of complacency. Yet you are supposed not to compare yourself with another person but to work on making yourself better.

PS: It's funny that I had to stand in as a witness to a colleague who looks like he will go missing for sometime given that his Whatsapp profile has gone under. I looked at what he was being charged and felt like we really need to reign in on Shylocks. In one month he was supposed to pay up to 25% of the amount he had borrowed. I only did stand in as a witness because in the event this bugger eschews paying his dues, they will be on my neck. Am I even worried? Not in any way. Whether it will be a harrowing experience, only God knows. So I will just have to chalk it up. After all, experience is the father of wisdom. I just had to be positive. 


Hasta La Vista Baby.


[Picture Source: Google Images]