HUDUMA CENTRE

There is nothing as tedious as waiting to renew or apply for a duplicate identify card. Especially when it is at Huduma Centre, the one located in GPO and you arrive mid morning.  Hitherto, I thought it would take me few minutes and am through with the process. I wrote this piece about two months ago while waiting for my turn to renew my ID. Ideally, I had already stayed for one hour inside the hall before commencing this write up. I remember looking at nothing in particular. Just meditating or maybe lolling.

Still, approximately 105 souls are ahead of me. That was visible given the digits on my receipt. ‘This requires patience another’ I told myself. ‘100  people have been served  already while am waiting.’

At this point, I had to retrieve my phone and pea myself shughli. Because I had also slept for close to half an hour. You see, am a three am man. Not that I usually get to bed at that time, but that's the time I arise.

Initially, I was at the taxman, to be precise, the transport wing to take my invoice since my DL got lost. It was so easy a process I was quite impressed. Then I remembered I needed to get a new I'd. Not that I didn’t have one but because getting a new one that looks like an ATM card is something I earnestly longed for. To have two, an old one and the new one. My aunt who works at the immigration department had suggested I needed to renew the old one. The one that signified am a second generation bugger. I AM NOT sure how this new ones are called.

Immediately infront of me was a hot mama. Let me say so because she was a lady. She spoke like she is from the coast. The sweet and flawless Swahili that scintillates and you want to hear more even though you are not concentrating on the message. The fact that she had high cheekbones, you couldn't help but stare. Then, that programmed lady who says, "Now serving a888, go to counter no.1" disrupted me from hearing what she was saying. She had a broken screen Techno phone, looked like she had also been waiting. Beside me, was a dude who had no watch with a faded white t-shirt turned cream. He was in fitting khaki pants and shoes that had holes in front. They looked frogfish or like the Volkswagen beetle we used to call pokopoko chura back then. He had no socks, kind of gross. And his feet looked scaly and mpararo. Next to him was an Indian banyan. Sharp, bespectacled and in a bespoke grey jacket. The kind that is sagging but still looks like it is fitting. Still it allowed room for breathing by the armpits if you know what I mean. He also tightly clutched on his iPhone just to show us he was owning a gadget. The old one that probably has the status of an iPhone. I also loved his shoes, shiny and fitting. As opposed to him, I was penning in some nondescript Asian phone which served the purpose it was meant to, communication.

I was writing because I do not have eidetic memory. In front were another bunch of gentlemen who were conversing. They had faded caps that had lost colour as a result of being over worn. Their shirts were also worn out. You just needed to look at the collar and you can easily conclude they were probably hustling, like yours truly only that they were doing it late in life. Or they probably had disguised themselves. You know, they looked like kuyos.

Hunger pangs started driving me crazy. ‘Looks like I will be staying another hour in here,’ I told myself. It was past two. However, I could not spot hot babes. Those that make you ogle because Mother Nature endowed them with the voluptuous hips, charming beauty or a bewitching smile you can't help but gaze or stare.

Looking in front, I saw this guy who was serving guys. I loved his hairline which was great on his face shape. In fact he looked like a model without hard part disconnection, as his was simply cut with sheers for a more natural short hair look. I guess he probably went to one of the finest barbers around judging by the way it gave his face a model’s look, plus he was tall. The only folly is that he looked old from afar. 

But this guys who tend to ID seekers were quite very hard working as opposed to the ideological belief that government employees are very slow. Reminds me of Zootopia, that scene at the government offices, seen it. As opposed to the usual sluggish nature of most government employees, they worked like it's a machine they were made of. They never got tired. If they did, they would be quickly replaced by another more agile fellow. But when you have a sea of humanity looking at you, you sure know you must deliver. There is no compromise. Maybe they were adhering to the motto on the wall that, "Efficient service available at the convenience of the citizen".
At that point I remember ceasing to continue writing. ‘Wacha niachie hapo Juu hii njaa joo. Ni ngori.’

Then I started feeling like going to the loo but was afraid of asking where the Damn place is. Chances are, you will find them in a pathetic state, the usual government facilities. Also, there should have been a place you can buy some water. To quench your thirst. This is a huduma centre na hata hakuna chai kuwapa wageni unaowahudumia.

Like most public governmental offices, there was a notification on the walls indicating no photo taking. But when you are despondent as a result of boredom, you may be tempted to take a photo. Yes, it's a probability. But rules can be broken, right. Like you can take  Selfies kichini ya maji.

Then all of a sudden the progress of the queue ceased for five minutes and I felT like you would fall the next minute. But since I was seated, I just waited and pretended I was alright. Because patience pays. It aids to keep you calm. Even those first time internationals who travel to the USA for ten or more hours have to be patient. It's a virtue.

Then there are these kind of guys who smile and remain looking at what caught their attention with their brown teeth also aiding in vision. There was this man who had a book. The ‘Millionaire Mind by Thomas J Stanley, PhD’. Damn do you need a suffix at the end of your name to sell? Or is it just a way of telling guys, ‘I am well read’. Who even cares about titles in this age and time? Then there was this damsel reading Joel Austin. I found one of his books quite bland. But you really need a deeper Christian mindset to imbue the contents. It's just normal for me to say so because my Catholic status does not endow me the spirituality of possession. Maybe am just cynical. But it's just me. Methinks the issue of spirituality is a personal affair.

‘Inakuanga sacrifice ya the whole day’. A guy tells me. Then we chatted for a while until we realized we are having no more words to share. Judging by the fact that I was now doing three hours on a continuous basis yet it looked like I was not going to be through with the process as early as I had anticipated. It made me feel wasted and used like a lady feels after a quickie. But that is the price you pay for engaging in such an activity. One that gets boring overtime especially if you have no chat mate. Even if you did have, you cannot continue talking for more than two hours without lacking words to tell the other person.

As I was writing this, I had slept more than three times. When I woke up and feeling bored I continued scribing. A pair of two chicks captured my attention and being the  passive guy I took no action. Just imagined what they were thinking seeing me slumbering.

‘It's almost my turn to be served.’  The queue was snaking and if this is the consequence of having to renew an ID, probably next time I will use the easiest route, not necessarily having to issue some soft dollars. But in the event I will be in a job requiring most of my time, then I will use those alternative ways.

Did I mention that there is that point where your finger prints are taken by either a dude or a lady. I wish these guys were more intuitive. How does it feel when a hot lady has to grab your middle finger then rolls your finger over the ink before taking the plain impressions on your fingerprint card? Any dirty minded fellow will not fail to be naughty just to ease up the formality of a process if the lady gets the point. If the lady's hands and fingers are soft, that's the point you start making castles in the air and probably you may en up smudging.


Anyway.

The model like guy is the person who took a photo of me. Me thinks he probably  side hustles as a model because he was tall with the frame of one. I remember  standing on an elevated platform so that he could take my snap and he still towered above me which made me feel inadequate because I wish I was taller.

PS: I picked my ID and DL on the same date a month later. I love the new look ID, its coloured. Oh! In fact, my phone had refused to charge since that day and I only had it repaired today and downloaded part of this excerpt from my google notes. I will still be holding on to my Small Wiko phone which has served me fine in the next few weeks as I strategize on getting a Galaxy Note even though I have no reliable income. But all things are possible.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Photo Source: Google Images]

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ISSUES

Way back when I was still in primary school, Kantai rapped about ‘Issues’. I had to listen to it again just to be up to date on the lyrics. As a matter of fact, there was a line that went like, 'I got issues that can't be absorbed by a tissue.' Am also going through a complicated phase in life. Girly issues, those that I cannot talk about because they are dear to the heart. School issues, those that make you a nerd even if you want to be a bubbly extrovert who oozes a sphere of warmth and a debonair condescending aura. Money issues, because money is the reason why we do that which we do and live our lives either in indigence, ease or abundance. And overall, just many issues that make life a real challenge but since you don't know tomorrow, there is always that caveat to continue laboring till you get a big break.

There is nothing as troublesome as trying to be in the dating scene and all you have are just illusions of how it should be. Worse of all is if the notion that you think you are the party who tries to keep it going. You are sometimes forced to retract and take that seat on the cliff to ponder about how life has been in general. Why do ladies behave the way they do? Don’t they know they irritate when in actual sense we are trying not to be bitter because there is more good than bad when we want them to converse as it is the only way of letting that which is clogged in the heart. However, it reaches a point you realize someone does not want you and you are forced to move on. They probably moved way ahead, only you never read the telltales early enough to hedge against the risk of a broken heart which comes as a result of break-ups. Which are not good to either party because they make you socially paralyzed but you pick up the pieces and move on ahead.

I hate that I have become subservient to the institution of scholarship. It’s a venture I thought would be pro tem without too much captivity in terms of reducing on the effects making me a slave to myself. Yes, because I immersed myself in it, I have to take full responsibility of my actions. The payoff may not be justified but the fact that patience pays does not give me a reason to forego my pursuit. I just have to love my predicaments and work towards turning them into strengths because that is what we need to do. You find you have dedicated too much time to something but you are yet to get to the industry average standards and as such, you are forced to pump in more. But even though you try, you only have 24 hours like everyone else. Which means it is essential to stick to your rote to get maximum returns or make use of time which should be revered.

Oh! there is also the issue of forfeiting being in the social scene. You realize you have to become a nerd when engaging in some academic pursuits. They come with subtle caveats that deter you from doing that which you would have done. Like enjoying a cold sweaty bottle of your favourite ale, or going on a long road trip to have fun, or maybe just having your own time to reflect on that which makes you happy as a man. And this attachment causing self-induced confinement probably caused that belle to call it a day through unethical ways of cutting all communication between the two of you by not replying messages or receiving calls. But you learnt from the situation the hard way and every experience in life is a teacher. You now are bequeathed with gem given that you can take filth even amid conditions that are severe and ominous.

I also have got issues with ladies who think that they should ape the rollercoaster lifestyles of our perceived socialites that has taken them from the chains of penury to being most girl's favourite idol. Sometimes it baffles me how ladies have got so obsessed with socialites so much so that they wish they had a life like theirs. Showcasing or purporting to own houses they may or may not own. Driving cars they make the average chick who has curtailed ambition think that she may never get there no matter what she does. These socialites have set precedents that if you have a daughter, you will probably rue if you cannot provide for her and she becomes rebellious thinking that becoming a socialite in the Kenyan context is the way to go. But it’s also a profession that comes with killing the conscience, sacrificing certain luxuries like never worrying about your health and body and being a social media fanatic. Having been in a discussion about socialites, I am certain that indeed, even married women who are undergoing mid-life crisis would want just a piece of what the high life socialite is going through.

Perhaps the most implosive reason why my writing is undergoing through periods of attenuation is due to my perpetual lack of interest. I wish I was half as active as I used to be before things happened and I had to take responsibility. But I have to reignite it ostentatiously through thick and thin even though I am not as dynamic as I should be by adopting a resplendent tact of splendid brilliance in my current tasks. Which is itself easy to say but implementing is as hard as cracking a macadamia nut with your own teeth.

Amid all the issues, I was able to be invited to one interview to be a sales guy. Am gradually becoming an optimistic after becoming a discouraged job seeker. What I am not sure is if I will eventually land a position I want in future given that I have become very impatient in the careers I undertake. If those chaps find me worthy of a job, I will take it. In fact, it will give me a new dispensation of doing something I never thought I would do. I currently love doing that I never wanted to do just because I will get an avenue of writing something after going through it. And writing to me is beyond the passion of waiting for things to happen, but making things happen. Never mind that my hustler traits are not as insurgent as they should be.

And on that note I have to sign off hoping all goes well with my usually signature.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Picture Source: 58pic.com]

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STRATH VS UON: PART TWO

continued from Part one
When you go to any institution, you always have to come out with something that is distinctive and tangible. In some institutions, Ethics is taught as any other topic in most of the courses. The famous Hypocritical Oath is synonymous to the medical profession. Chances are, you were taught about Ethical Practices but rarely encounter scenarios where you will apply such gem learnt because you never took the course seriously. The world is now headed towards or it is in that stage where you will be judged by how principled and ethical you are when it comes to issues regarding integrity.

One distinctive aspect that clearly demarcates a Strath student from a UON student basically has to do with Ethics. Not that I have beef with UON. Reality is, the number of students in Strath who are ethically upright vis-a-vis UON is higher. But that is hypothetical, given that there are no tests I have carried out to verify the same. However, there are incidents that have made me believe that Strath has truly given students an edge when it comes to matters ethics.

For example, you might leave you phone or computer unattended and two days down the line if you forgot about it, chances are, you will still find it having been safely kept. There are scenarios where students have been able to recover their valuables even in our class and that is commendable. The same cannot be said of UON. The numbers in UON make it hard to reliably ensure that most students have truly internalized that they should be of high moral standards. In my first year, my mates lost their laptops under unclear circumstances that were quite baffling. The door was broken and the laptops stolen by people we speculated were pals with insider knowledge on how we did things. And such incidents were prone in the hostels, lecture halls were not isolated either. Methinks they are still rampant. When you want to maintain a certain lifestyle and the probability to sustain it is actually low, you may end up doing that which is a vice.

When it comes to lecturers, Strath is still way below UON. There are some lecturers in  UON have more than twenty years or in some cases, 50 years of experience in the academic industry. When one stays for a long duration in a certain field, she is able to execute some complexities with lots of ease much to the chagrin of a rookie. In such circumstances, you have to struggle a lot if not nimble enough with your studies because the lecturers in UON presume you know. But that does not mean that they are better off. There major problem is that they rarely attend classes as they should. In a semester, there are lecturers who will attend a paltry 3 out of a possible 12 classes. Side hustle or something. But that also means that as a student you are disadvantaged because they will rush when time is up to complete the syllabus. As a result, if you are not sharp, you know what’s up.

The only reason why Strath lecturers may fair better than their UON counterparts is that they usually have to compensate for the hours they have not lectured. Plus they usually have tangible reasons why they never show up. Most however juggle studies with teaching which is not a bad thing considering that the two go hand in hand. That they are less experienced is not in doubt. Many of the mates we were with in UON have confessed of the same. Rarely have I encountered a scenario where a lecturer comes to teach just by sheer recalling the topic having taught it continuously for a considerable period of time.  Most are usually in a rush just like their counterparts in UON. This can be attributed to the public university mentality that they went through as students. However, if you find a lecturer who studied in Strath, the chap is very thorough and lethal. Like we were taught by an upcoming lecturer who had just transitioned from Strath and the dude was quite smart. However, I must say that having been in a similar position before, teaching is different. Not a single day is the same.

When it comes to sports, Leos have an edge over Mean Machine. The situation is grim for my former Alma mater. My current has invested a lot and they are doing well winning many tournaments that they feature. That’s the reason why they continue to shine perpetually as the latter continues to sink but not deep in the abyss. But I have never attended any of the games featuring the two teams. I am also too busy these days so much so that creating time for hobbies is becoming a real hurdle that I am forced not to indulge in.

When it comes to ladies, UON beats Strath hands down with ladies who are beautiful. Could it be because of the strict policies put in place shielding the chics from coming out as pretty in Strath? I doubt. However, even though the number of those who are pretty is not as high, the number of those who are next to those who are pretty is commendable. They rarely have those who have menial features which is quite prevalent in UON. But being a liberal University, any lady in UON can look good with time and they do after sometime. The only downside is that some become lovers of sugar daddies forgetting that that is a pro tem relation. Once you are sell by date, another flame will replace you sooner than you expected. Who knows, chances are ladies are just the same. Maybe some Strath chics are also into such affairs only that they keep the affairs discrete. Not openly where you can find them out.

There is also the issue of goons. There is no doubt that UON has the highest number of them. My pal in campus used to say that if he had the chance, he would ensure that students from a certain tribe or region in Kenya would never be given admission in the institution because they really get influenced to become goons once they develop a liking for mullahs. Or is it something to do with attitude. And goons control everything in UON. But they have a liking for elections. You have to part with some cash to be able to campaign if a candidate. Plus they can even stab you in worse scenarios. They also control other activities that you can never know if you never have a penchant for campus affairs. On the contrary, Strath has no goons. It does not make life any interesting. You sometimes need societal misfits who make life worthy a tale.

One thing I hate about Strath is that it has no student celebs. Those students who are influential and call the shots or are known by almost everyone. The ones who are known to be overly drunk, those who are thought to be licentious, those who peddle illicits and the list is endless. This is a bland institution if you are after adventure. Most guys are chummed and class difference really plays out. You never hear of the guy who has dated almost all the beauties in the institution. Neither do you hear of a guy who did something funny like whore being beaten up by comrades while it is the student who solicited for services he refused to pay for her dues. At the end of the day its the society scoffs at ladies of the night. Right.  Guys drive in Strath but don’t know that that is an aphrodisiac for the average lass. They got deep pockets but they don’t show off like they should. Me wishes these buggers were in UON. Where life is a real hustleGuys who did drive in UON had a bevy of ladies to choose from. But am past that age of catching up for now to reliable get the true picture. I only do so when I meet friends. Past that, I am a societal recluse. As such, I do not have a lot of insider information given that I only go to Strath thrice a week.

One thing I love about the student centre in Strath is that it inculcates responsibility in an individual in as much as it is affordable and quite posh by its standards. You are required to queue for your food which is usually a buffet served by very neat servers even though some may sound harsh at times. You pay after collecting your food as opposed to UON where you had to pay before making an order which you may never get. Plus the variety of meals is adequate while in Strath, you have the choice of fruits if you want a dessert or a cup of coffee which is prepared by a barista if you want luxury (am usually broke that's why I find that a luxury), there is cake, veges, snacks and other meals I am not sure of the names. There is still no Java as in USIU though. Once you finish eating, you are required to return the plates, cutlery and cups to the kitchen. I just love the ambience of Strath’s student center. It's quite cosy though noisy in comparison to that of UON.

I had never noticed that there were fashion cops in Strath until one of my pals told me that those ladies manning some of the entrances were cops to look out for ladies flouting fashion rules. The are no metal detectors also for the sentries in contrary to UON. Just like UON, you have to issue your ID if a student or national ID if an outsider. It’s a measure to reduce on those who take advantage of freebies or criminals. Those who like freebies are also the chaps who contribute to diminishing standards at the end of the day.

Am running short of words, therefore I have to make a conclusion. If I was offered a chance to study in either institutions, I would have gone for my undergraduate studies in Strath. It makes sense. However, the only downside is that it has no numbers and a delectable experience given that most guys act kind of upright. Where people are numerous, you get to see very many awkward characters and even make so many friends if you are not a social wreck. On the contrary, I would prefer doing my postgraduate studies in UON if I will gather the nerves to do it. It is more demanding and makes you more independent. UON is in another level when it comes to studies. That could be the reason why so many lecturers from Strathmore were once students in UON. 

But as an individual you always have a choice. Your success is never tied to an institution. It’s you to make hay while the sun shines. The world is not concerned by your onslaught. If victory comes your way, you will smile widely at the end of the day. Alone.

PS: My boys and I love shenging. And that's probably the reason why those English twanging lasses at Strath usually give us some reason to think they are 'it ladies' who we cannot match. But at the end of the day, who knows the language they speak in their households? Food for thought.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Photo Source: My own]

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STRATH VS UON

What’s in a school? The dichotomy is not in the number of prosperous individuals who have gained societal mileage in terms of recognition. It is the way it makes you feel as an individual. It’s never about the buildings and facilities that you will live after your succinct sojourn. It’s not about what the society views the scholars who peruse and pursue academia to the greater heights so much so that they leave an indelible mark. It’s not about those dons and staff who contribute to its wholesomeness.

The end product is you. As an individual, you reflect so much about the institution you have gone through. Whether it instills discipline, confidence, life skills and all the relevance needed to survive in this world that is a monster waiting to take you down. Or a pugilist with clenched fists ready to throw jabs and at the same time swiftly miss the nerve wrecking punches that you throw with rage.

As a scholar who has gone through two of the best varsities in Kenya; Strathmore, a private Uni, and The University of Nairobi, a public Uni. Allow me to boast a little. That’s the extent to which I can take pride.

At the end of the day, no one cares whether you went to Harvard, Princeton, Oxford, or the many Ivy League universities if you turn out to be an academic dwarf. Guys will be like, ‘That guy is from Harvard. Look at the way he is now languishing. I don’t even see the reason why he went to that good school.’

What many who reason in this context fail to realize with their parochial views is that some of those guys only failed to go to greater extent because of one or two variables that if addressed early on, could have contributed to them being respectable people in society.

Like I know a guy who has become a deplorable village sot having been to an international school here in Kenya and failed to finish Uni because of drugs. However, when you take time to talk and reason out with him, you realize that he is sane but has been only discouraged by the debilitating effects of a draconian world. As such, abuse to drugs is the only relief he gets when he is undergoing those perpetual lows has in life.

That was a by the way.

Strathmore is just like any other university sans the formal protocol it has adopted that makes people think that it is stringent and less accommodative. To some extent, I cannot deny that sometimes I usually feel like am in a cocoon only that I cannot come out guns blazing (sic) because there is nothing I would gain at the end of the day other than causing an insipid scene of less value. That’s the reason why I somehow love The University of Nairobi.

When you go to The Prestigious University of Nairobi, you are first told that you are in the best Uni, which might not be the case. But as a fresh scholar who has no experience, you believe that it is the gospel truth. Then your life starts evolving once you start classes. One of the best things about UON is that it allows for radicalism. Which is rare or non-existent in Strathmore. The only form of radicalism that is present in Strathmore is intellectual extremism. When it comes to behaviour, you will be expelled before you even know it. That’s the reason why there is nothing like Political Science, whose dons approve of the same at Strathmore.

When it comes to admission, before you get that letter, you have to go for a requisite debrief in Strathmore which I have never heard of anyone who failed to meet the mark. Maybe, there are those have failed to meet the mark. However, they never write about their rejection. The debrief is usually scheduled after taking an in-house exam and providing  necessary certificates that you have qualified to be admitted to the school you are going to. It's not a lengthy process though.

On the other hand, to gain admission in UON, you only need to have your certificates ratified and there is an induction process or orientation which is present in almost all universities. There are nothing like interviews, doing entrance exams, upon getting that entry letter, you look for your classes and you are good to go.

There is also the misconceived notion that Strathmore is for ‘mababi’ while the hoi polloi who have to burn the midnight oil are the people who will gain entry into UON. To some extent the argument is true, but realistically, the same individuals who go to UON still go to Strathmore. Why? There is a saying that goes like, ‘If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.’ But rationally and realistically, there are many students from humble families in UON as compared to Strath.

Just go to any hostel inhabited by guys in UON, you will find out that they never take hygiene seriously. The haphazard use of the facilities like sinks and WCs and improper disposal of waste is enough to tell you where someone is from. The smell of omena in the hostels and vandalism of most facilities is enough to tell you that such an individual has rural or modest upbringing. Chances are, you will find no one drives an inherited or own car in a class of 500 students, especially for guys in module one. The fashion sense is a disaster. Just let me not go deeper because the meals being eaten at the various messes are not good either.

Strath on the other hand has no hostels of its own. However, those that are nearby are hygienically maintained to admirable standards and you pay a dime as opposed to those in UON. The much you pay in UON for a year is half the monthly rent for a Hostel near Strathmore, which is if you are module one student at UON. Fashion wise, there is little or no fashion in Strath. Broke students wear khaki pants and camera tops that God knows where they got them. The probability of a classmate spinning a car on a daily basis is as high as breathing oxygen and that’s the reason why they are ‘mababi’.

Toilets. If you think that functioning hand dryers, disabled student loos, tissue papers and liquid hand soaps complete with instructions on how to wash your hands are an unnecessary luxury in an institution, as well as perpetually hygienic WCs, then you should be in Strath. There is a big difference between the toilets in Strath and those in UON. In fact, I relearnt how to wash my hands satisfactorily from the instructions engraved on the walls from Strathmore. The doors are not vandalized so there is no probability of someone crashing in to find you in the act. I say, they are cleaner than the place where I used to work in Parklands even though it has more traffic than that building.

There is also the issue about facilities. Whereas UON had many facilities, the reality is that many were not maintained on a continuous basis. There was a time the auditorium seats in 844 building were infested with bedbugs as a result of negligence for a considerable period though they were repaired in the long run. There are some facilities that broke down, like doors to some lecture halls and by the time I was finalizing my stay, there was no single projector that was functioning. Lecturers had to come with school projectors or their own projectors to classes even though there were those installed in some lecture rooms but due to negligence soon broke down. Strathmore is however old school. Lecturers have to use chalks as opposed to pens because they have green-boards as opposed to white-boards. The projectors are in good condition and are in all the classes I have been in.

The façade of UON which is a remarkable whole mark in architecture due to the design that is sole to the institution is quite commendable. You must agree the buildings stand out. The picturesque view is quite aesthetic and there is something that makes one feel proud when you walk on the pavements in UON as fresher. It has a clear demarcation of where students should be walking and there was proper planning when it comes to where schools are located. The lawns are well maintained and it has vast space in as much as most of the roads and parking lots are tarmacked. 

On the contrary, Strathmore is vague in terms of the architectiure. It only acquired a façade recently which is still in the growth face. Initially, the façade was bland with a high school like ambiance. And generally, unless you are a student, you don’t get to see this delectable aura. Though it is a seasoned institution, it has not grown in heaps and bounds in terms of architecture and infrastructure. There are few structures that are monstrously massive. It does not ooze a lot of oomph in this case. But even though it lags behind in scenary, it compensates for the drawback by ensuring it does not falter in ensuring the standards are high while inside. There are no dust, cobwebs, and graffiti on the walls and corners. Like UON, it is a worthy experience that is welcoming while inside, not just a macabre pile of bricks.

I must say I love the ambiance of studying in the lecture halls of Strathmore. They are well aerated, full of life, well lit, soundproof and generally provide both formal and informal relaxing spaces for studying. On the contrary, not all places in UON offer a good study environment. There are certain times when it rained and the basement in Education Building would be flooded and that was among the few places you could hide to study if not the library. Allow me to say up to this point, I have not gone to the Library at Strathmore. Yet I call myself a scholar. But the library is smaller in comparison to the mighty JKML just by the visage. I should go inside one day.

[Part Two]

Hasta la Vista Baby.

[Photo Source: My Own]

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EMPLOYABILITY.

I am currently pursuing an online course on employability. There is a big difference between employability and employment. The former encompasses the latter. To paraphrase what employability entails, this has to do with gaining knowledge, skills: technical and soft skills, achievements, and personal attributes that makes one an effective employee to make successful transitory contribution to the employer, colleagues, the public, clients: both prospective and current and the society in general.

Employment on the other hand deals with having the job and being able to make a difference in the workplace. The difference is subject to interpretation depending on which field one is in. As a blogger, I am at making a difference through writing. What about you?

So far, I have been applying to mainstream angel entry jobs, low cadre jobs an middle-level positions. The response from employers has been quite skeptical. Am even planning to call a truce with one of the employers. I don’t believe in employment bureaus. I have not signed on any up until now. Yes they might help me find a job, or the very minimum secure me an interview. But I am still reluctant. One of the reasons I have not used fee-based bureaus is because I hate to think of a person ‘eating my money’ just to find me a job. Secondly, I believe that I should fight for the chance like everybody else. Those favoured and those who are not. Thirdly getting a job is not currently my raison maître. I want to test the system. Which I am having a futile debut at ever since I quit to concentrate on studies.

One thing I learnt about studies while being employed is that they greatly improve on one’s employability. They make you be regarded as able to take up more responsibilities and be seen as an effective time manager. There are also intrinsic gains to a part-time student that he or she knows while going through the process. The challenges are pecuniary and both peculiar. Pecuniary because you have to forego some luxuries an pecuniary because of the opportunity cost of the time one spends in ensuring they never fail.

Allow me to surmise on some aspects that I have learnt over the years as I prepare myself for employment. Last year, I prepared only for an interview (Read it here). Then, I thought that what mattered was how to impress a panel or an interviewer while undergoing a scrutiny. Now, I have a broader perspective. The key lies in preparing the self continuously. If you have limited entrepreneurship ambitions in the meantime like yours truly. You may impress today, but that does not mean you will still have your verve in the near future when contemplating to switch careers if that happens. Anyway, if you have a pusher, why should you mind? But even pushers have to shove that which they are sure about. Competency is such a required tenet that if you fail in meeting the minimum standards, then you are as good as obsolete unless the pusher will shoulder the baggage.

I have learnt that everything boils down to communication.  If you can accurately convince the other party into buying your argument, then you are good to go. Watching the movie ‘Moonwalkers’, probably one of the reasons why Johnny Thorpe was able to convince Kidman into bringing him film director Stanley Kubrick was because he did not falter in his communication skills. Even his body language never betrayed him. He took a phoney to Kidman, received the pay and scripts and went to offset his other debts.

Communication is paramount. Whether you want to get employed, strike a deal, present a proposal or be in business which has a perpetuity. If you can tacitly express yourself through other leveraged ways, well and good. You have communicated.

Being able to express yourself in a comprehensible way, concisely and driving the point home counts for 80% of striking a deal. Knowledge counts for 5% and Skills 15%. It’s palpable to convincing a lady, which I rank very low at. You always need that third eye and ear, an extra tongue a flair for being well versed with the surrounding. However, in my case, I must confess that due to my botched ability in mustering the skill to effectively and efficiently express my ideas in black and white, I have not been able to be called for even a single interview. Let me not lie, I have never gone to an interview I applied to, most of them have been referrals. Most are a result of the  former and come  without financial constraints on my side.

Perhaps I have wrongly written my CV for the right job. My resume is a two page document. I call it a bikini CV. Once someone said that a bikini is brief enough to reveal all details but covers the really essential details one wants to get acquainted to. I love the brevity because it gives the prospective employer room to gauge whether am competent for the job or not. Consequently, it reduces the time she needs to make a decision as she can easily flip through the document. You guessed it right, its pithiness has probably contributed in employers finding my credentials below par or of no value towards contributing in ameliorating the returns or contributing towards the goals and objectives of the firm in the long run. Pole Musa!

Hitherto, I thought that I would easily transition to another job having quit my former employer who made it clear that it would be in contradictory to company policy if I was going to be studying part-time. Even while working, I knew it was not going to be easy getting another job. I had tried and know the numerous futile attempts I made. Employers hate rookies. They take long to adjust to the workplace, are incompetent in their view and lack panache. They however will give an ear to an amateur with validated experience. So, internships, attachments or related jobs experience is as important as having done the job.

Relating to the employability course, I realized that participation in other aspects like sports, voluntary work, travelling and lots other engagement is important. All jobs have a skill you can always take to the new job. Cooking can help in being a watchman. Only a HR professional knows how.

Because of the enormity of the studies I am undertaking, I preferred staying out of employment. I cannot dispute that learning has no rewards. Time is the most important factor. If you easily find your life’s passion, then you know what is right. But with our increasingly competitive world, having an edge in terms of skills gives one an operational advantage. I no longer want an employer who will look at my transcripts then conclude that I am not worthy of the position. Irrespective of the paper qualification, I still work towards my employability. Whether it is through perusal or daily life experiences, at the end of the day, what matters is that God added me another day that I heavily invested on. How I use it in adding value to my eventual career boils down to the management of hours I have at hand.

The other day, I was flicking over the pages of a daily looking at the job segment. Who did I see? A certain campus mate appearing as model for their company’s newspaper advert. I remember holding my horses in applying to the said company. Even a certain lady who was ‘spit’ by my first year roommate was now plying her trade with the prestigious auditing firm. However, as a consolation, I can say I have never loved auditing. Just as you may abhor being a house maid, shamba boy or a toilet cleaner. However, the rewards and benefits the company bestows its employees, you cannot fail to reconsider a profession in that field. Plus you may find other befitting roles once in.

Seeing those guys on newspaper did remind me of one Greg Smith. He was once a vice president at Goldman Sachs, where he earned over $500K a year. Greg was even in the advert showcased to budding employees on how pleasurable it was to work for the investment bank. He depicted the role model who transitions from campus, then into the workplace seamlessly. However, in what appeared to be a complete icebreaker in the industry, he wrote an op ed in Times Newspaper signalling his resignation. Colleagues and the firm woke up to find out that he had resigned. As a student, I find the mechanism he used to tender his resignation very unethical. He also wrote a book which industry analysts studied carefully and vindicated his former employer of any wrongdoing. The fact that he was also engaging in ‘whistle-blowing’ instead of seeking the advise of independent counsel, or his supervisor or better still the compliance department was enough to also hold him accountable.  To cut he long story short, those two pictures of my former campus colleagues did stir something very crucial. I am challenged. I did ask myself, ‘What misdeed did I commit?’ Nevertheless, I am writing about it now. Yes I am also into writing. For there is a whole lot of life ahead. The only difference made is when the grim reaper ascends or otherwise.

In that case, allow me to introduce you to investments. It is said that the best investment is to invest in yourself. With that regard, I am envisioning myself being a C-suite professional in this angle, or a portfolio asset-manager or research analyst. The list is endless. Whichever comes my way, I am welcoming it with open arms. If something more appealing comes my way after the rigorous studies. You know what I will do.

In our investment profession, there is being passively involved and being actively involved. Like I chose to be actively involved in my studies. Even though my old man paid for my tuition fee, I found it was not enough. I felt like I needed to get out of the passenger mentality. I remember watching a certain lady on an investment channel I have subscribed to on YouTube. She decided to take the bull by its horns by enrolling for a PhD program aimed at equipping her with investment skills. That way, she could be able to analyze investments, select securities and construct an investment portfolio. That way she could be able to chart her own destiny with her money while investing. Obviously she lost when starting. Did she give up? No. Initially she relied on the advice of an asset manager in an investment bank to guide her on how to invest. But she was not getting results. After the studies, she moved from investing in mainstream equities to investing in derivatives (options to be precise). I know that is jargon. But you can always google the terms, right. She studied while working on a fulltime basis, as opposed to I who resigned. With $10000, she was able to make over $100 million in three years. Through active participation. If she invested without knowledge, she would have lost everything. Hard she taken a passive approach in investing, she would have ended up either getting a return of 10% to 20% a year. Does that ring the bell? She did risk investing for herself and the returns were a boom. And you know what? The asset manager who was to invest her money is now her partner.

I introduced the word risk and return. I am increasing the probability of my returns by hedging on the risk of failure by dedicating more time to study. I am a full-time student till I get a fulltime job. My rote is flexible, reason why I can take any form of employment that will aid in me getting credit points in my career of choice. I am not vitiating the role of the tutors who play an instrumental role in my studies. Only that I am taking an active role. In that regard, I am improving on my employability even though I am not employed. If I will not end up being employed, I will resort to entrepreneurship. That way I will have taken advantage of my employability.

Studying my ethical and professional standards notes, I realized that I could not mark as important sections I felt were weighty. Lesson learnt? All ethics and professional standards conduct is important. Am studying via a computer. Slow, tasking and loathsome. But I realized one thing. If I am professionally competent and can return the best results to a client without observing ethical standards, does it really matter? Yes. We all want to be associated with success. That is why a code of ethics and standards of professional conduct is critical. When we acquire knowledge over time, we can use it to societal detriment or benefit. That is why guidance is necessary even if you think you are the most moral of all persons. Maybe the Son of Man is the only being who can be exempt. But other mortal beings are not. Reason why we have a code that guides our profession.

Reading through the fiasco that led to the collapse of Imperial Bank. A bank whose logo signified royalty. As such it should have treated clients with reverence only given to a queen or king. I did bemoan the death of ethics and lack of standards of professional conduct in a profession that is at the centre stage of man’s interest. Money. We surely are beholden to money. I am not a morality evangelist though. If I was one, EACC would have probably hired me based on the track record which I don’t have.

Anyway.

I am only paraphrasing on the vices I read about. Whether true or the converse. Those that the common man finds too complex to understand. Especially when they do not innately affect them but macro economically contribute to poor credit rating of the country, collapse of the shilling against the dollar and serious integrity issues on holders of such institutions that affect the fiscal and economic policy of our beloved country.

In my opine, there is only one thing that should have prevented the collapse of such a bank. A code of Ethics and Professional Standard of Conduct. If only the employees acted at the interests of the beneficiaries (bank account holders) and the probable compromise of the Central Bank Governor through his better half, who should have acted with authority. If only such people knew about ethics, and acted with veracity. Probably the bank would have not been placed under receivership and clients loss their money due to the requirement of debt service before other financial obligations have been ratified. Is another scandal in the offing? This is Kenya.

Away from matters financials. Do you find anything that makes me tick? I think I am not a hustler. Not that a go-getter who is nimble when it comes to employment. But hey! I now know the genesis as to the reason why I had to fork out more for my professional course. I read about it and there is something called mosaic theory, I was able to piece up things. You see, I also don’t have a mentor. That someone I look up to. Is it because of my big ego? I am ready to kill it. Like I killed my conscience to become a teacher for a few months knowing full well the pay is wishy-washy.

Now piecing up all that information, you realize that my employability has not gone to the dogs. It’s only time before I get the right employer. But you see how things are related. A bank is imprudently run, it uses a gifts and benefits to influence the decision of the Central Bank Governor. The bank collapses, share prices of other banks also plummet, the number of investment bankers being employed thins and I am now here griping at my probable cause of lack of an opportunity in the investment industry.

This is a matter of conjecture. It is best left to the pundits and naysayers and haters to debate about. And on that note allow me to end with my signature of

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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