THANKSGIVING

Gratitude should not be confined to momentous occasions. It should be an everyday thing. Your wellbeing depends on it so much. The joy of being thankful is that you experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems. Isn’t that a reason or two to be grateful? Yes, life is what you make of it and little things in life matter more than the big things we dream about. That ‘thank you’ you tell someone is like a conditional relief. It melts the heart. So, at some point in life, you need to practice gratitude even though you may not be accustomed to it.

I have decided to be upbeat and optimistic. Everyday, I usually write something positive even after having a bad day. Normally, I start my day writing about random thoughts. I call them my prayer journal. They are my McCoy. 

If I as in the US, I would be eating turkey today. Partaking it with a family that would host a guy who is a lively introvert. Especially, I would love the turkey delicacy garnished with sumptuous sauce that has gooey sweetness. And inside, it should be stuffed like I normally see in the movies. The kind that makes your taste buds salivate just by the sheer aroma that massages the nostrils even before tasting. Thus, when it is ready, and you cut a piece, you feel like your whole system is weak. You can’t even think straight. Ideally, Brining is good for moisture retention before roasting. I normally see butchers doing it but chances are they only know it’s good for the nyama choma without knowing the reason behind it.

I know this because I normally view guys with chubby cheeks as high on brine. In my water therapy life, I read that salt makes you retain water on the face and that is why you get those fat cheeks. Otherwise, if you drink a lot of water, it washes away the salt and you end up having a lean and narrow face. If you also eat right and exercise well, you end up with stunningly good looks. Otherwise, on this side of the planet, chubby cheeks mean you are doing well financially. I hate the fact that it means you are doing a disservice to your face because you may end up having a double chin.

You can easily dispute that assumption just like you can dispute the fact that you need to slaughter a turkey without it seeing you. Back in the days we used to call them Kulu kulu. I have never seen one being slaughtered because they are also fearsome birds. When they 'quote', they can really cause a scene if you are a visitor in a home where they freely roam. Some guys used them as security.  Again, their hideous heads is a weapon of safety. Someone told me 'kitambo' that they store poison in their heads and if you try to slaughter them the way we chinja chicken, like a cobra they release the poison into their body making the meat unsafe for consumption. Consequently, in order to slaughter it, in that person’s parochial view, you need to ambush it then chop of it’s head for it to continue being edible when cooked. Otherwise it is not safe for the stomach.

I resorted to confirm how a turkey is slaughtered and saw graphic footages on YouTube (kama umewahi chinja kuku, hii ni rahisi). A moment of silence was observed before slaughtering one. This process debunked the myth above. The guy who was slaughtering it hanged it the way a goat is hanged upside down in a slaughterhouse then he cut the head once 'chwaa'. When it was touched, it behaved like chicken do when they are not dead while cutting the neck. It was kind of scary because he was also with his kids

Cool kids don't even know how to cut the neck of a chicken, just like Jeff Koinange confessed hajui Maziwa Mala but he knows yoghurt. Which Kenyan does not know Maziwa Lala? Anyway, I also know there are prawns and lobsters and I have never seen them.

Children. I have two already. They give me joy and I just don’t know what I would have been living for were it not for them. I can't seem to get enough of them. They make me have a purpose in life. I have a reason why I am here today. That is why I appreciate two other angels who are my nieces.

When I think about the different fresh cakes they bring me with strong tea in the evening, I feel indebted. Sometimes its chocolate cake, sometimes vanilla, passion, forest, marble or even lemon cake. I am also thankful for my sister who bakes them because they come in handy most 'jionis' like this like that. Cake is sweet, I think I will order more cake because it makes me less worried. I seem to think that life is always sweet. Yummy in my tummy.

Something about my nieces is that I can easily talk to them and they will not be having 'tu mafeeling' from some someone who disappointed them. These tiny tots are real. My children are not, they exist in my illusions. Hey! Yo Spock and McCoy, your dad has decided to appreciate other kids today. 

My eldest niece is called Kay. She does not even call me uncle. She calls me by my name. Her cousin, who she calls her 'my sister' is slightly less than a year old. One was born in January and the other in December. Being the oldest, she normally acts her age and has influence over her sister so much so that she mostly copies what Kay does and says. The reverse is also true ‘ile time Kay hana form’. However, when it comes to crying, Kay can do it with attitude for a prolonged period while Lara, her sister does not cry for long because her mother is the care free type.

You know when she cries, I normally conclude that ‘ako tu sawa’ because when we have no better way to express our feelings, we cry. I used to let tears flow freely back in the days. It was my weapon against enemies of development. This ‘ako tu sawa’ phrase. I suddenly became aware of it. This awareness effect is called the "Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon" or "frequency illusion". Someone even called it observer-expectancy effect. In my chat with friends, I see them use it this phrase, my siblings use it and media personalities use it to give validation. Well, a case in point is my love for slim fit shirts with skinny collars. I love it when it is rectangular or curvy at the edges. These days, when I look at pictures, I am apprehended by the fact that it’s not only me who loves these shirts. I will switch to agbada, but Nigerians will certainly not give me space.

My nieces rarely speak in Swahili. The even don’t know any Luo either. They live in a hood where I hear children speak in the queen’s language when they come out to play. The other time I heard a kid barely ten year old talking about the death of a certain politician and how brutal it was. Well, Kay rarely goes out to play with her hood mates. She loves being indoors so much so that I tend to think she is missing the joy of playing with other kids. I have seen Lara play and Kay looking at her through the window, but she never seems to miss any bit of that thrill. Her reclusive traits make me wonder if she is a people’s person and if she enjoys playing with her mates in school. She is three.

Her mother once told me that they were once in a supermarket and a classmate came screaming her name excitedly thinking that she would be received warmly. Woe unto her, Kay snubbed her and behaved like she had never seen her before. You know that look a girl gives you when she is not in the mood. Instead, she decided to clutch towards her mother and the other child’s mother had to save face when she asked if Kay was in the same school with her daughter to which Kay’s mum nodded in affirmation. They even had a chat. That’s Kay for you.

Another case in point is when I saw her in their school van and she feigned knowing me and knowing her fully well, I decided not to push things by letting her be. Afterwards, she later told me, “Yesterday, I saw you walking while I was in our school van.” Mama mia, aint this indifference in anaa level. Yaani, she could not even 'fwayo' her arms to acknowledge my presence. I know of kids who will do anything to attract my attention just by the fact that I am bespectacled.

To Kay, anything that is past is termed as yesterday. She told me she saw me almost a week later.  So, what she is referring to may have happened a while back, but she will still use yesterday to signify that it has already taken place. You will hear her say, “Yesterday, my mum took me to the airport and we boarded a plane to......” Whichever place she flew to in the recent past. That she is inseparable to her mum is no lie. It’s like she controls her and given that my sister does not subscribe to the rod mentality, she never gets spanked for being ‘bigheaded’. If it were in my heydays as a child, you would not have spared the rod on her.

Amid all this, she is a sharp and adorable but kind of a bit shy girl. On the opposite end is Lara who is more outgoing and has a bigger than life personality. Take Lara anywhere and the next minute she has formed relations and she is happily interacting with other people. I guess, Kay’s acts timidly because she is not used to being around so many people. In their class, they were less than thirty and she could recall every child by name in their class picture that has the faces and names of all her classmates and their two teachers.

I think Kay has developed the attitude after spending so much time with her mum who does not like taking initiative so much. She likes delegating whenever possible which I tend to think is a first-born problem. Compounded by the fact that she is also an extrovert, she can easily sway you. And that makes me wonder why Kay has never been bubbly among other kids. But sometimes we are just different.

Today is Thanksgiving in USA. And since I work for clients in that country, they have also thought that I should be on holiday. So that is why I am writing this very long post. So instead of working, I find myself writing. I am on an unpaid holiday as a writer. I feel like cold water has been thrown on me by this holiday. I should have been able to make more money but ‘Haisulu’. If tomorrow never comes, then I will not be working. Like guys in US, I am thankful to the Almighty for thus far he has brought me. It is He that giveth and taketh away and He knows why. I am begging to be holy walai.

On an afterthought, I would have probably been working, then I would have written a title to a blog post that I would write on an easy Sunday morning after church. Postponing posts is my greatest flaw and I think I should just get over it by getting a good disciplinarian. But this relief from work has brought ease. I will give time to my children as well as my people. Now I have decided to spend the better part of the morning with McCoy. I will give Spock more time and we shall really indulge.

Anyway, in her school, Kay took up ballerina classes. You should hear her say that name. She says, ‘Barehina’. Whether that is the correct pronunciation or not, I will not judge. I have learnt to let her be. What amazes me is the fact that she knows how to jump and ensure her legs are at 180 degrees while dancing ballerina on landing. I cant imagine doing that lest I injure my balls and end up permanently impotent. Probably I will do it after I convince a girl to have kids with me. Well, she is destined for big things. Lara learnt ballerina from her and can also do the 180 degrees thing.

What amazes me is Kay’s love for school. Hitherto, I had thought that she would be like other kids who struggle with waking up and refusing to go to school. She is a different breed. Only those days when she is ailing is when she sometimes does not feel like waking up, otherwise, she really loves school. Her paintings, mastery of numbers, ability to recall shapes, knowledge of coulours and the alphabets is mwaah. Once while we were playing, she narrated to me the process of going to school. I was the baby, and pretended to be sleeping. She came and started saying, "Wakey, wakey! It’s time to go to school." I pretended to continue sleeping, and she became motherly while equally touchy saying, “Baby, wake up, it’s time for school.”

I felt assuaged and woke up from the mattress we were on and then she continued narrating to me the process of preparing for school. "Brush your teeth then go to the bathtub." I did as instructed then went to an imaginary bathtub. Then she started washing me and said, "Now it’s time to dry yourself. Take this towel baby."  I used it then she told me to put on uniform, carry my backpack and ensure I have my shoes ready. She then told me to drink tea. Then we heard the ‘pip’ of the school bus and she took me to the bus and said bye.

Methinks her school does not have to rely on 'disks' to execute the policy of no Swahili speaking. Sometimes you will hear her tell Lara, ‘You are speaking Swahili. I will tell on you’. Being the obedient kid, Lara will reply meekly, ‘Sorry!’ then continue doing what she was engaged in.

Lara knows more Swahili that Kaylee. I think she taught her the signature phrase, "Ntakuchapa, huskii maneno." Apparently, Lara’s mum loved using the phrase when disciplining her and because Lara is this girl who is roho juu, she decided to have it as part of her diction. Nowadays, they use it abandonly. Lara uses it when she means business and as an indication that she is not very pleased. Kay on the other hand says it in a cheeky way you would think she has just started learning Swahili. You know that she does not mean it as much as Lara.

The tonal variation and facial expression tells it to distinguish the severity of who is saying it. But when they want to express displeasure in English, they will either say, “I will tell on you or I am not your friend.” Obviously, as a joinder, you will contrarily say, “I am you friend.” Continuously repeating the phrase makes them also switch allegiance to "I am your friend" if it comes with a Pavlovian goody.

Like all children, they like playing. They know who likes playing and who doesn’t. Several times they will grab my legs and clutch on it telling me to play with them. I usually feel obliged and end up playing with them several games that only require their presence. Games like ‘Ring a Ring o' Roses’, jumping, doing squats, running, hide and seek, and chasing after them then they also chase me.  Albeit the fact that they love these games, when outdoors, they love being spanned round and round. ‘Take me round-round’. And as much as I try, none ever gets dizzy, she will walk steadily after the act as I take on the other. On the other hand, I am usually left with a head spinning because I don’t like it much.

Like some kids in this digital age, they have their own smart phones which they normally hide in when they are deeply engrossed on YouTube. I now know of Pepper pig, Shimmer and shine, Paw patrol, Sofia the pride, and countless other cartoons that are modern age. The best she knows of the cartoon I used to watch is Mickey Mouse and Tom and Jerry. I normally get notified when she is bought a Mickey Mouse dress, hood or shoes. And girls like attention. They will wear clothes and come screaming, ‘Look at me!’ And they expect a positive response. Yenyewe this look at me genes are inherently female. Once while shopping for clothes in Eastleigh, a certain Wariah vendor told us that it is genetic for ladies to seek attention and look at their waist to see if the clothes fit. Kay and Lara subscribe to this school of thought. 

Being this outgoing girl who is also confident, I was amazed when Lara one day decided to go and talk with a certain neighbour who is mostly reserved. For once I heard her voice and I realized that developing a mentality about someone is thus bad. So, Lara introduced Kay to this neighbour and when they see her, they enter her house and start chatting. What’s amazing is that they think that big people should always have something for them. Hence, you will hear them ask anyone they know, “You have bought for me what?”

I used to buy them PK. I loved chewing gum but when a PK removed a tooth filling while chewing, I temporarily banned it because their teeth were also getting cavities and losing colour. Ungejua tu vile I wanted to continue chewing gum to give me a better-looking face. God knows why I don’t need that jawline got through chewing. I will try other means now.

Just a question. Should we buy our kids smartphones? Your average kid knows how to maneuver with an Android phone. But when it comes to these old analogue phones, all they do is just look at them. Nonetheless, a phone is a must have gadget for a child. It keeps them busy and develops their IQ. And you know what, children just love kids stuff. They will not watch what they call programs for big people. If they must watch something that don’t entice their eyes, they usually give themselves shughli.

The other day Kay found me bored and to cheer me up, she suggested we play some games on her phone. I refused and told her that those are games for girls. She realized that they were for girls because she knows colours and associates blue for boys, green for boys while red, yellow, pink, purple are for girls. The game she wanted me to play was placing wigs on the head of a girl, applying mascara on her lashes, make up on the cheeks and choosing for the girl the right attire. My friend, kuna watu hufanya tu kazi ya kufikiria nini wasichana hupenda. There is even one of applying lipstick, eyeshadow, nail polish and changing earrings and necklaces. Owada otek small. Nthindo gi ong’e mang’eny motamo wang’a.

When I declined her offer, thinking smartly, she pressed the home button, switched to Googleplay and started looking for games for boys. She showed me a couple of games that she thought would arouse my interest but when she saw that I was not interested, she allowed me to search on my own. The ease with which she was able to download and equally look for apps amazed me. It was a challenge.

Well, I must give it to Google software engineers. They are just on another league. They know how to crawl into a person’s web history gather the information and suggest what you would equally love. If you logged into any server, and you search for something, that forms part of your history. And that is why I normally 'permanently delete' my previous search and pageviews so that the server can start tracking my movement afresh. Kuna vile hizi search engines hukuja sana with their adverts and they are normally irresistible and sometimes pesky.

I searched for what I wanted on Kay’s phone which she let me do and when I was through she installed in herself and tested if she could play the game. It was a simple game where you try to ensure a car does not get an head on collison or hitting from the back while also gathering points by hitting targets. If you hit another car, the game restarts. If I compare my childhood with hers, I had the Dettol mum kind of lifestyle. I got injured, played my all and even though I am introvert, deep down, I know that I love talking too much. This 4G kids have cautious mums. Ka injury kadogo inaleta problem, they are taken to hospital because they should not have flaws on the skin. 

At their age, during my time, my father had no phone nor a computer. He only had a transmission receiver that was installed in his car when he was in the field. That they also know the Chrome icon on a PC and when they click, they expect to see a thumbnail that has YouTube, which they click and look for children stuff. But you get used to that fact. When the Youtube thumbnail is not there, they will leave the computer alone because they love watching children stuff. I normally love the look on Kay's face when she switches on the TV, puts on the home theater, adjusts it’s sound and equally uses the computer. When she has finished, she normally gives you that look to tell you, ‘Maze, mi najua hizi vitu’. I normally return the glance then shake my head because she knows more than she is supposed to when it comes to technology

I think this has really impacted on her childhood because she kind of thinks what she sees other kids doing on YouTube as ideal. Imagine kids pour food in some of this programs and she sometimes want to throw away good food. Someone should check some of this kids programs.  You rarely see her playing with other kids. In fact, she loves the company of older people. She asks question, tells about her experiences and expect you to equally tell her things she does not know.

Sadly, I hate when she cries. I don’t love the cry of a child. And Kay can cause a scene when she decides to seek attention with her prolonged cry. It’s worse when her mum is around because she knows she can bully her into getting her attention. While she is not around, she is this good girl. But when her mum comes, she switches into something else. But she is not bipolar. She has this attitude that after all, my mum will protect me. It’s her personality.

Sometimes back, because Lara was young and defenseless, she would beat her raining slaps and blows on her and it was not a pleasing. And Lara would not cry. At such times, I would restrain her and loving what she was doing, she would start crying loudly saying, ‘I want to beat Lara.’ yet Lara is calmly sitting. The rivalry still exists and after a fight, they still play together. These days, when she starts a fight, Lara menacingly uses her teeth and runs away as she leaves Kay, the attention seeker, crying. Sometimes, when she is helpless, she cries and tells you to beat the person who has offended her

When alone, Kay has this larger than life persona. She never likes to be disturbed and she will yell out, ‘Stop disturbing me’.  Because Kay had been having a smart phone and Lara never had, there were always those incidences when she would be watching 'Elsie and Anna' and Lara being kind of cheeky would grab her phone and run away leaving her crying. Given that her mother bought another phone and wanted to give me the phone because I operate a small analogue phone, I decided that she should give it to Lara so as to cool the truancy between the two.

Those times when Lara used to snatch her phone, she would come to me crying, “Lara is taking my phone. She does not want to share and you know that sharing is caring.”

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source:Google Images]