WORD PLAY

I found those mundanely used words (librettos) while Facebooking (sic, yet another one to purge) on Business Insider. However, like a true scribe, there is no caveat on my side as to whether or not to use the words. While there are words which rarely feature on my vocabulary among the fifteen; amazing, literally and irregardless. There is no denial some of them are addictive, when you try hard to eliminate them, it is the moment they keep recurring in your discourse. Like a child, what you are deterred from doing is what you end up effectuating, huwa inawasha au sivyo. Another word that should have been added is, ‘like’. Like I have been trying hard to eschew the use of ‘that’ in this first paragraph and frankly, I have achieved it.

While playing scrabble against the CPU on my phone, I came across words I would desire to use on my blog. Words like ‘eaux’ or ‘valvo’ or ‘psi’ or ‘qin’. These words had that red underline after typing, which most likely means they are not certified as English. They are words I probably may never use in my lingo in the near future because they signify no relevance in my diction apart from scoring points on scrabble. I must confess that I love Scrabble, a game I sometime take some long hiatus to play but when I find time, it is insanely addictive. There is only one opponent on CPU who I am kind of overwrought to play with since the bugger has been programmed to execute those seven letter moves and given that my ken is kind of obtund when it comes to making words out of letters, I have resigned. Mark you when you have either only vowels or consonants. They traumatize when the only word you can create is worth only two points.

If you listen to Maina in the morning, you are accustomed to his usual emphasis of the word 'Really'. As obnoxious as it may sound, his penchant for using it is somehow fiendish as it makes more and more listeners use it since in their opine, because Maina uses it, then it is cool to use it.

The word ‘went’ also caught my attention. Every other time you are asked to give details of where you walked to, skated to, drove to or flew to; chances are you will intimate to where went to, for example ‘I went to Ushago’. Yet it leaves so much room for speculation. At times divulging such details may make you sound arrogant among those who are of low social standing.

‘I flew to Mombasa via KQ Business class and upon arrival, found my chauffeur who drove me to my hotel room in a Rolls Royce. Since I was feeling jet lagged having just landed from Ipswich the other day, I had to take a nap before horse riding to Ali Barbour’ Cave Restaurant for some Drunken prawns and Fresh Calamari downed with an equally dissipated aperitif.’

Of course it’s not me, being this jobless bugger having resigned from work to concentrate on my studies for a while because the employer did not find my going to school palatable. As such am left to imagine how such places would look like because as a student with no source of comprehensive income, you only have books and Dr. Google to take you to places you only yearn for because of the money factor, which we earnestly searched for. Being the reticent type, it has been quite stodgy finding a somewhat fulfilling venture because of this nation’s notion that you need a pusher to be employed in places of reputable status. 

Since wallowing doing nothing is a no no for me, getting to design pictures for free when time allows because it also involves a lot of creativity and time keeps me going. Again, there are pending projects that need to be hastily accomplished in due course. Graphic design is enthralling, there is pleasure in seeing people appreciate that which you have taken your time to motif. I am not perfect in the skill still, yet I plan not to push it further. My quest is to pursue my career aspiration and live off it like others have done. These other skills are survival lifeskills for my blog. In the event there is an abrogation as to the career prospects not being tenable, then resorting to either being a graphic designer or writer or a full-time blogger will not be out of the question.   

The world has progressed from being parochial into more liberalized globe, the only set back is information and thus resources are confined to the few who use it to mint Benjamins they adversely use in reigning supreme on us using subtle machinations as we remain obsequious. Albeit we are livid, we kowtow because they are puppeteers who have strings they pull to effect dominance.

Which reminds me the story of Eva Kasaya and her search of employment from the maid employment bureaus. Maybe as a job seeker I should go to one of the many employment bureaus to search for work. There I can parade myself for the next available employer to come and check me out and determine if am worthy of the job or not by looking at me and questioning my competencies a little bit. Sometimes you have to get employed, move out of employment for a while then get employed before you find the real footing in life. Exploring is also the next possible option. Everyday bequeaths you something to be proud about even when the going is not as smooth.

There are days when you become distraught and have a potent feeling while there are those days when you get excited and the feelings though pro tem, make life a marvel. Again they say that holding on for too long when things are not working out essentially means that you are a slave unto yourself having no escape plan which should ideally be very discreet.

Do employment agencies honour their pledge, or are they conduits of exploiting the suffrage of those unemployed and those frustrated in jobs but hold on hoping lady luck will smile on them sooner. I realized being a hardworking, top performing, positive-minded employee isn't enough, and you may be giving out you best while in reality, the person on the other end thinks you are a lousy fellow whose value is not worth it. They just keep you in the meantime since they cannot find a competent employee to replace you since finding new employees is frustrating even for the employers themselves.

As time goes by, there is honing of skills to be very adept at that which you want to be. While other employers usually want a well baked employee to offer peanuts so that they can gain, they fail to provide competitive salaries so that there is no difference whether you continue staying or not. Our country has become a paper economy, we value certificates and money than ever before. Certificates though, cannot marshal you enough money as I saw some tweet in response to what you have but never use. For Floyd Mayweather, it was a backyard full of cars, as for a certain bugger, it was a Degree certificate. Mine helps in the pursuit of a professional education as much as it adds to my status because when I go to the countryside, people sometimes take my word as the gospel truth even though what am insinuating could be facile.

It saddens that as Africans, we still have no elaborate mechanism of providing viable avenues for those who are in search. Something is for sure though, like the Swahili proverb goes, ‘Anayetaka hachoki hata akichoka (huwa) keshapata’. As for yours truly, it's never about getting to work anymore, it’s about the conditions provided that matter.

Sometimes you work all day without being able to achieve something for yourself. When you go back home, there is nothing worthwhile you can do other than sleep. Because you are tired. And you work hoping that your dues will be ameliorated, instead they get attenuated as time goes by. However, time and tide does waits for no man. When you work to just make ends meet, there is a problem if the status quo is maintained, there should be an aspect of enjoyment and progress. When you cannot achieve that, then you need to hustle extra hard or air your tribulations so that you get to the place you desire.

As time goes by, you become wiser, and more worthy. You have a better perspective about this world. Those who cannot make it are those who quit or remain unassertive. Looking at the bigger picture, as a person, I am back on the drawing board. I have decided to dance the tune of life in the meantime. When my time of abundance will come, I will look back having gone through periods of pittance with the attitude of a victorious Ethiopian soldier from the battle of Adowa.

PS: I find people who upload nice pictures of themselves with red eyes, or it white eyes on social media too hideous. What is the purpose of that application used to remove red eyes on phone. Maybe having known how to remove it on Photoshop has made me hate some unnormal things people oversee.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Photo Source: My Own]

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THOSE STUPID LITTLE IMPS

There are times you get a weird kind of feeling that things will not be alright. You are jittery and uncontrollable only that you are not cognizant of that which is causing you inside panic. Outside, you look quite steadfast and unshaken. Like everything is fine and this is just a sojourn you have to pass through as a phase. When you try to rest, you just find that thoughts are coalescing within that which is making you uncomfortable. You already understand why Jay Z rapped about 99 problems. And you just want to go on holiday and forget all about the tribulations that are afflicting then you face them later on.

However, they are trials that you have to go through as an important phase in life. They make the individual in you unfaltering having gone through hell. Without them, you never grow. You will remain held up because life is about experiencing those doleful occasions and dreadful moments. Those that torment and even though you want to inebriate yourself to a stupor, you remember that there are repercussions. Those that prevent you from sliding from aberration. This world is uncanny, you need to exploit it at a slow pace. Never condescending because you never know when your downfall will surface. For when it does, the cohesive and adhesive forces that hold the fabric together within you may devastatingly succumb in a manner that is unbearable like the tower of Babel.

Sometimes, you easily want to have that financial freedom to pay for the things that make your life a marvel. Like vanishing from the people who matter most to you or heading to the coast for a genial extravaganza. A holiday you are not able to finance, since time immemorial, you have only been conversed by this Kenya phrase, ‘Uchumi ni mbaya’. Studies you have committed yourself, are also holding you back and a pending court case prevents you from being a fugitive. And you earnestly want to go and watch the series ‘Fugitive’ to learn the ways of an outlaw. Pulling such stunts will be disastrous. You may go six feet under even before you knew it because you never know how trigger angry the boys in blue are.

Again the situation is aggravated by your woman, (she has however refused you call her so). The one you think is under the tutelage of her more experienced godmother guiding her on the other side by detailing her on the art of being slippery by every hook and crook to try and find out if you are serious enough with her. But we are in the 21^st century. Playing difficult is no longer fashionable. Relationships have become like buying shoes at City Walk. However the chase itself makes it more fun when you are this penniless blogger who just resigned from work and you are in a financial limbo having been sabotaged by your former employer for preferring to juggle school with work. The one who threatens to have you incarcerated, thereby possibly missing out on your due exams which are first approaching.

So as a measure of foiling the combined guile, you also develop your own strategies to counteract them. Trying to find out who will budge first. Like you find this arrogance unbearable, full of deceit and machinations. You feel it is choreographed and feel like you will revenge. The best revenge is served cold. You have actualized it already, in a manner that in Game Theory results in a Nash Equilibrium.

You know full well ladies have their emotional side that you can easily tune, they talk, and she may have talked to someone about how hurting she has been, like you have been uncaring if her last statement augurs to that translation. At times you muse whether the feeling is mutual or just a passing fade, like if she holds you in high regard the way you also do her. If she does not, then maybe you are chasing after the wind with her. Which you will continue doing until that moment in life when it becomes vanity and you will see her slip from your hands as she will probably find a worthy suitor who is sately chummed to make her feel like the beautiful lady she really is. A guy who will take her to an exquisite holiday in Paris, which makes her develop goose bumps, exhilarate and be filled with child-like excitement as you will be probably looking at the pictures full of envy on IG or FB while she is having her life time experience. Probably singing to Black Eyes Peas ‘The Time’ with that lucky jamaa.

However she aint that type judging by your seasoned knowledge of her.

As for the former employer, I wish I could retract all the bad things I did to him. However, when I want to offer an apology, I think of the people he offended. His callous nature, him calling people animals, failing to aptly pay you though you have dedicated your time and offered services to your able best. Him never appreciating those that strive to see him realize his dreams. He never having an iota of feeling, having raging tempers you probably mirrored and a disgust for hygiene. Even if you are patient, you soon give up because you never achieve much having made you his small slaves without the air of freedom of expression. That you called him ‘Boss’ when the world has moved into a more liberalized air without prefixes or suffixes that give the superior mentality.

In this life, you need not to be chained like you are some form of slave who has to be servile to the whims of someone else. Till that moment when you unfasten yourself from mental bondage that you can only survive under someone, you fail to take advantage of the self as an asset that can marshal a lot of resources that should be capitalized for probable future benefits. You are quasi-free man, because of anger, you have to take full responsibility of my actions.

Amid all these, you will come out strong. Victory is assured, time being the only factor not known. Like Hollywood superheroes after a deadly fight.

HAST LA VISTA, BABY.

[Photo Source: Modified inFamous Movie Poster]

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SHE IS A PUZZLE

Hello from the other siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.

Today, allow me to think out loud- literally.

I find serenity and intimacy in the art of scripting. It’s just a way to escape from the bitter realities of the world, it’s a serenading pacifier.

But I got issues. Too big I feel they will clog my system now that I am contemplating a new chapter full of less adventure. This missive is directed to her. So allow me to use the ‘second person point of view’.

Do you know the hardest thing in this world? Hold that thought.

Let me protest. You know you are dealing with a difficult person when you think you are winning when in the actual sense things are slowly hitting a snag. You feel like you want to call it quits, give up altogether and start on a new cruise, but you can’t. It’s like quitting coke, the moment you think you are free of it, that’s when the gremlins lead you into an overdose.

Ever tried outpouring your emotions in black and white, then in the middle of the discourse, you realize you lack the requisite diction to drive the point home? Albeit it may sound mundane, it’s actually awkward.

Enough of beating about the bush. This epistle has exactly 400 words. It’s about frustrations. Those that irk you to the bone you feel like exploding or better still shout, or clobber the wall with your clenched fist to release the rage within. Then you realize how impatient, how selfish and narcissistic you are.

Have you ever wished you knew how to strike the right cord? I love her witty banter, those gorgeous sounds that sound licentious when she giggles, those long periods of silence when nothing seems to revolve when she is on the other end, but most of all the time she afford yours truly. It melts the heart and you feel a sense of warmth like it’s a mollifying ballad.

I have a major bone of contention though. Of late I feel a wreck when she completely refuses to pick my call when I say am calling back. Is it a stratagem? Maybe not.

And for that reason, I never will pester calling because am on a sojourn. The twists and turns, I wish I could explain, I can’t.

But, no matter what, you deserve to be happy and live a joy filled life. Right.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: Modified Google Images]

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JAILED, A GLIMPSE OF A POLICE CELL

I recently read somewhere that inadequate sleep is a major causal agent as to why someone becomes irate and can easily be provoked to do the unexpected.

TO BE CONTINUED WHEN MY COURT CASE COMES TO A HALT.

[Picture Source: My Own]

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LIFE LESSONS

I have been forced to quit blogging because of reasons pertaining to my other ambition of never failing in exams again (UON ushered my first taste of academic failure). I have decided henceforth to give blogging a wide berth as I make way for a new lifestyle that will be more hectic and require a rote that I meet targets within the shortest time possible and also work with the swiftness of a gazelle in my aspirations of a debut in being a financial analyst. 

CFA is hectic. You need to be very smart to go about this course which is also very thorough. As a matter of fact, being behind schedule in terms of reading has contributed in yours truly having to give blog posting some form of discontinuity until that point in time in life when the course work will have eased till the wee stages of completion. Whether I will pass the exam or not, something remains for sure, it has taught me a lot in terms of self-discipline. Getting the knowledge is far more enriching as it makes you realize you are a rookie in the financial domain. If life was only tied to passing exams and you sure are going to live a life of merry, then that would be a reason as to why most would be passing the same. But the current world has reinvented itself. You no longer need to pass exams to make it in life like it is an eventuality. You need to find something different that will segregate you from the rest. You can be an actor, play football like the football magician Messi, sell your wares- master the skill and own a flourishing chain of businesses many would want to franchise.

With dedication and patience, everything is possible. Hope that the study timetable I have put in place will be a reason why I will be smiling at the end of a six hour exam that awaits me mid-June in the coming year. As of now, I am pursuing my course of choice. This is a study whose intent was conjured even before I went to campus more than five years ago. Only that the start was unveiled this year.

So what has life taught me up until this point in time?

The first thing has to do with discovery of the self. The greatest investment is to invest in yourself. You never will regret it. What you aim at achieving is only curtailed by the setbacks you create at your own volition. Making important and instrumental decisions earlier on ensures you have enough time to achieve that which you wanted to accomplish early. You become a master of your destiny at the end of it all. Society also, has a way of aiding in that quest. It’s up to you to take the mantle and decide to change your serendipity using all the available machinery you can surmount be it technical, mechanical or electronic. Again, it is of paramount necessity to ensure that people play a crucial role in the course of your achievement because it is they that matter. They can break or make you.

Free-rider mentality.

Who does not want freebies? It’s human nature to love free products and services, which also comes at a social cost. The price of anything that is free or cheap is that the worth you get from it is never satiating as there is always a compromise on standards and quality. Until you develop the taste and preference of finer things in life, living the normal Jane and Joe everyday life will be your eventual respite. They say, when you want something, go for it. Like the Veblen goods, it’s mostly important that life be pegged on continuous development. The most satisfying things in life are worth the penny you spend on the acquisition of the same. The more you spend, however may not be directly related to the much you expect. Life lessons will open your eyes as to what is good and what is not. But at the end of the day, it is also important to take advantage of freely available forms of development. They help save you a lot in terms of time and money. Saving means more wealth. Economics 101 in practice. Right.

Saving

The value of having a saving culture is directly related to prosperity. Though the time value for money is always the inverse of saving, there is greater value in saving some pence no matter how little. The little you save become more and sooner or later, you slowly realize you dream. Those who save really cushion themselves against the rigors of a financial turmoil that is usually unprecedented on a rainy day. There is surety in having a savings culture. From saving, you can turn the little into an investment stream or find worthy advice on what you can engage in with the little. Like the Chinese say, “The journey of a thousand miles stars with a single step.” Quit that unnecessary consumption and spenditure. Punish yourself sometimes so that you do not indulge in that which robs you of your hard earned money. A penny saved is penny earned. For in saving there is a way of evading debt.

Working

Working as opposed to staying idle is something that is very important. Each day, you see different people (as you commute or walk the streets) and observe queer tendencies that are developing gradually. You may sometimes be disinterested in you work looking for an option but the reality is that it is better to stick around for some time. You never know, just when you are on the verge of quitting, is when some godsend comes. However, also staying does not guarantee that you will change much in life. When you are experiencing periods of stagnation without much progress, it is important to review your strategy. The most important workplace in the world is the aura you create for yourself. Working for yourself is tentatively the best thing in life. You get satisfaction if the results are progressive. Soon or later, you gain ground and have the nerves to do just about anything. Life is about moving forward. When you become a stickler to the status quo, you lose a lot.

Blogging/ Writing

Hitherto, my thoughts on this was that I would make it just like that. This is hell. This though, caught my eye and really is a reflection of what I am experiencing personally,

 “I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within.”- Gustave Flaubert.

There are times when as a writer, doing my blog post, am forced to steal one or two phrases because I lack the diction of how to give my all when another has done it easily much to my envy. Writing is one of the best things life has bestowed upon mankind. When you write, you enter into a world of the unknown then progressively enter the world of the known. Thoughts are usually skewed and muddled before piecing up everything. The only recourse is that you are never alone. There is always that déjà vu moment. Writing is addictive, like Indian hemp, you need a rehab to stop the devastating effects of its hallucinations from making you habituated. In fact, getting an inkling is itself a retrospection about how you view where you are headed in general. Thus everything about writing has a muse in it. Like a duck you remain calm on the surface, but underneath, you paddle like hell. Obviously every writer or pen pusher has a predilection and creed.

Studying

There is no procedure on how to study effectively. One man’s poison is another man’s meat. As such, it goes without doubt that the tactics one employs may not necessarily work for another. Studying for exams is a complex affair. However the major facet of it in intensive reading. How one peruses is ideally best determined by him or her. For purposes of this writing, I also have just started to muster the hours I am productive. There is always a brighter side to gaining knowledge.  The best thing about is that you never lose it. It is the only possession that a brigand can never rob you, unless you are incapacitated. So knowledge is power. The only inhibition is that to acquire it, you sometimes need enough backs in this capitalistic world. Studying even for leisure is fair enough. So getting informed is an enriching venture after all.

Entertainment

There is no enough measure of entertainment. The definition of the same also varies. What makes one lively makes another sullen and predisposed. However, there is this thing called ale that inebriates. Boozing is not bad if it does not the body and brain devastatingly. However, when it is not done right, it fails to elicit its intended purpose. Drinking cheap liquor has devastating consequences. The downside of it is in the fact that you are not able to sometimes control your mental sanity. You end up spitting vile or acting incongruous as opposed to being sane. Those are the times you find yourself in dingy places where the average person has no better form of purpose other than drinking away all the worries and stigma away. You may end up drinking illicit concoctions, or worse find yourself under the arm of a seductress who you took advantage of or the inverse and you spend like a nouveau riche thinking you have but only leading yourself to obscurity. At best, drinking fine liquor with brand names work out fine. You never wake up with a hangover after a few tots. Over indulging in the same is comparable to taking cheap liquor.

Avoiding alcohol when you can at all costs is the surest way out of trouble.

Maybe, I should have tweaked this life lessons a little bit to give the reflection of the everyday guy. But this is the best that I can give in my current state. Like I have said earlier, I serve all the purposes in this blog. I am the number reader of the content that is available on it and also the editor, the graphic designer, web designer and all that. I am taking a brief leave to concentrate on my studies as earlier intimated maybe until next year if I will not have the push from some inner calling to write.

Na juu ya hiyo story, Buda Boss Sinakafunge juu kamenyuria.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: My Own]

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CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

You are told by colleagues that you have been invited to a Diwali event. As a matter of fact, there is no official communication or card for the event which would mean you have gatecrashed. It’s a word of mouth invitation that you could not resist so that you could have something to scribe about at the end of it all. The event is happening where you work. Just five floors from the office you work as a casual labourer because the employer insists on payment per day. If you miss a single day, you never qualify for that day’s wages. Fair enough.

Kenyan Indians are still reclusive in their tendency of holding themselves apart from Africans yet they live and will be interred in Kenya. They are still beholden to the colonial mentality that they are superior to Africans because of the pecking order created by the Brits. Rarely do they mingle in their centred life and though this is unsettling and you just love observing how things revolve, you take note of this eccentricity. Because of this, you never want to awaken the sleeping dogs. The lacuna existent is really authentic. When you meet them in the lifts, the coldness in their eyes is subtle. You feel like you are intruding into their already sheltered life that is insistent on being doled up in a bubble of inhibition. Rarely do you see Indians mingling with Africans. Even in school, they segregate themselves apart from those times when it is really urgent.

That maybe a tad too callous but the reality is that, Indians will still view African Kenyans with some sought of suspicion. Let me say this, in logic, we were told not to generalize. So as a matter of consequence, there is that ‘some’ before the word Indians were applicable. Currently, I have no Indian pal to demystify the myths surrounding the tense relationship that will not be amended sooner in terms of how they view Africans. Judging by the way the Muhindis have created that Berlin Wall in terms of residences, apart from those who are rebels or the clique who are monetarily endowed and don’t mind living with Africans, there is no denial that there is hyper-sensitivity and existential disdain among the two races.

Diwali week it was. You remember those days when you were young and loved the fanfare of lighting up cheap fireworks during these period and there was no cause of alarm apart from the few incidences you only heard of how the baruti had turned homicidal. Rocket was your favourite with its deafening crescendo.  Those days when you would do anything without worry that the terror outfit Alshabab will disguise as camaraderie to take advantage of the opportunity to turn the event into a horror of deadly massacre and aptly coordinated attacks well-orchestrated in disguise.

It was Singles day. Working online has made you an aficionado of most calendar events. As a result, there is no recognizable day you will fail to take cognizance of due to the severity of such occasions whether celebrated or not. Diwali ‘the festival of lights’ is perhaps the most conspicuous event that Indians celebrate each year. Just like Idd among the Muslims, Diwali is characterized by a lot of feasting and unlike the former there is a bit aleing-sic (from ale).

As usual, the pusher was none other than Aggy, she prefers being called Michelle and works next to our office. In fact you had extended your stay in the office by an hour just waiting for the event which started later. She is the lovely to be with. An extrovert by nature, she brightens up like an iridescent gemstone. Her conversations are bubbly and intoxicating. Though chubby, she has a cute face that is electric a curvy physique though the adipose concentrated on her waist needs some little bit of gym to give her that “wow” look. Another folly is that if not careful with her diet, she might possibly develop the double chin on her face. Her penchant for makeup radiates well with her chocolate complexion that is flawless making her skin look great. Looks like her detox is working well.   

Together with Ritchie, a chap who plies his trade in Chowpaty and Aggy confessed she used to be her boyfriend way back in high school- describing him further would make me sound gay, Brayo, Denno and two beautiful Chiquita’s from Lower Kabete Campus, Maureen and her friend (a dark complexioned chic with the jawline, high cheek bones and willowy figure of a model and stunning face and piercing look like that of a luo diva. Her skin glowed such that it was her inner beauty that lit her eyes and softened her features).

We make a maiden entry into the venue that is well decorated so much so that it looks like the average Kenyan wedding setting. Those that have seats and tables covered with some clothing and at the centre of the table there is a clay pottery with some Indian paraphernalia inside. Sadly, Indians have adopted this African Timer culture mentality of not sticking to time. Earlier on, Aggy had visited the place to check on how the event was unfolding. She is the nosy type and the go between because she has more stay and experience with Indians than most of us.

Unfortunately or the antonym of the same, we arrive early. Sit next to the DJ who is as confused as we are on what to play but resorts to Indian tunes that make you feel like you are watching those Indian movies where Raj all of a sudden spots Priya (cute little thing) and they swim in illusions as they start to dance to some tune even though they barely know each other.

The unease of sitting in a place you are jittery of whether you had been invited or not was razor sharp and cutting. The sitting position was a reflection of the simmering tautness that is covert yet never acknowledges. It is until such a time that you realize you are not as well secured in terms of mental sanity and vigor as you had thought of. It’s like you are in mainland India and you are the only stool-wool haired and black faces amidst. Arriving very early is a bit relaxing as you reduce that look on the face of having an intruder.

The incantations in celebration of the occasion took too long than you had expected. The way Indians seek divine blessings on this Third day of Diwali Festival is quite an eye opener on how variegated our ways of celebrating a festival are.  

Indian yung uns exude a flair of beauty that is intoxicating (however, the same cannot be said of their nee).  Their symmetrical facial features leave a muscle definition that is perfect, beautiful pink lips stand out and obsidian hair, so smooth and silky, leave in the autumn breeze. Competition was stiff, and even the little girl in silk frocks tried as much to stand as the centre of attraction. The only folly is that figure wise, they are as flat as a pancake in the places that excite the licentiousness in you.

Then you noticed her. In white leggings and a long green dress that covered the derriere.

It was inevitable and certain that once you looked at her, you couldn't look away. She kept you still and held your beating heart with one gaze, feeding off of you. She was a succubus, beautiful and dangerous.  She was the thief or someone close to that.  She had a confident, sexy strut that tells the world, "I'm beautiful." And she knew it. She was you crush. Her Long, wavy blonde hair, looked almost as if it was tailored from gold fabric with some shades of black. You were smitten and could have spent all the meagre income you had on her just to have a chance of spending a day with my beautiful lady straight out of utopia.

Chances are she was a on the verge of settling. Judging by the way she sat between her mothers, she clearly resembled a chip of the old block, and what looked like her aunt. She was Indian and she noticed you were looking at her in lascivious manner, you had wanted to exercise the art of charm through eye contact. Which made her look away having looked eyes and looking down and she noticed your interest. You felt like you wanted to surmount enough courage to go talk to her mother and tell her that indeed if it were not for matters beyond cultural setbacks, you would have made a wife out of her though you know that is surely lust.

She was the sweetest girl ever that day though there were many who would have rivalled her in matters beauty. Talking of sweet things, the food served was sugary or sweet in a way. There was no limitation as to the amount you needed to serve yourself. The chapatti were sugar favoured, the same to most of the foods. The sugary bolls in an equally sweet syrup were too much for you to gobble as on this occasion you take advantage of free liquor and imbibe to a point you are not inebriated silly since you need to catch a mat back home and because the next day is still work day. So Johnny Walker Black Label and Famous Grouse tots with a bottle of your favourite Tusker Malt even though it was served chilled while you love it warm does it for you.

While you were serving food, you engage in a chat with an African guy who serves everything he finds on the table. He does not know the name of the foods he wants to chow but serves them in copious amounts so that he also influences you to do the same and you end up living a majority of it on the table because liquor fights some foods intensely. Looking at the table he was coming from, you see some hot ladies joining in. Trust Kenyans to invite friends even when they are not supposed to.

However, the event never comes to a climax until sparking fireworks evade the darkness of a new moon night. The neon ostentatious orange, yellow-like flaming splash and bright sparks of colours illuminated the dark night sky and bursting firecrackers releasing scorching smoke as the cool air slapped the calming fire-material which made the aura scintillating and captivating to watch. The soundtrack of the noisy fireworks bursting harmoniously exploded in an ear-splitting yet a unique flowing sound as if they were frizzling intoxicatingly. The timing of release of the fireworks was intermittent but not predictable and at times a curvy rainbow changed shape into broad and bright spiky stars that twirled erratically.

While watching the fireworks, you notice this guy who resemble Jeff Koinange on Jameni. He is dressed in all white as if he is going for a white party. He is with guys who look like his boys. The way they oscillate around him especially a walalo like bearded dude gives you the impression he is the main guy.

Before you knew it, it was time to leave. In a slightly drunken stupor, you leave the venue and head back to the digs. Sad that matatus in Parklands do not operate in frequency past 11 at night like in you hood. They are sporadic and you have to fight to gain entry into one as the early nightshift workers are also exciting just about this time.

PS: There was this guy who came to our premises to shop. He hand dyed his beard yellow and had hanged a bunch of keys on his trousers (he looked cheap, the logo of a star was in the bunch (Mercedes)). He shopped for everything with abandon and even bought one of ours a watch having seen him with a motionless timepiece. His net spenditure was slightly over 70 k while he never looked like he would even shop for more than 5 K. He exited as if to go withdraw some cash when everything had been packed and never came back.

You also went to KFC during the week and the experience left a sour taste in the mouth. You had intended to take one of the girls you work with but they never turned up for some Streetwise treatment. The offer is not worth it in my opinion guess the reason why its monikered as street an will be found on any other ad inviting guys to go taste it. So my cinq cent (French) got wasted just like that. I wish I had spent more on some quality chicken. The chicken was not well fried inside as it looked under-fried. Not like the last time you were here and this time you felt cheated because then the chicken was splitting like the bulbs of an onion and you relished the delicacy with the zeal of a newbie..

HASTA LA VISTA BABY

[Photo Source: Google Images]

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WORKING FOR THE CHINKU

Urban dictionary states that the slang for Chinese is 'Chink'. In Sheng they are referred to as Machinku.  How about the fact that these Mao Zedong descendants are taking over the Kenyan business ventures sphere in a manner never seen before using tactics that are leaning towards Machiavellian tactics and like their fellow Asian compatriots, Indians, it can be agonizing working for them. Someone once told me that working for a Mhindi leaves you in a state where when you are paid, your wages get exhausted on payday due to many liabilities (bills) and you find yourself going back to the employer (stereotype, huh!). Ni kama wanatumia kamote ya kihindi (Just kidding). Take note this chaps never employ you as they never want obligations with the Kenyan government.

Some Chinese are the real “mkono gamu” (this maybe probably limited to the one I am working for). From the way they live to the general hygiene levels, the concept of capitalism is slowly being entrenched within their tendency. They are frugal to the core with their wealth in such a manner that they scare away those who have a prodigal propensity. You are left to wonder why you are still holding on because all the available signs indicate an ominous terminal.

Anyone who is jobless usually wants a situation where he can get a reprieve of working even if it means that it will be a transitory phase as you steady yourself before looking for better prospects that will be much satiating and aptly indulging.

You are in a sedentary job, alright. Working for a firm that makes the maximum use of all the appendable vit and skills you have acquired at minimal costs; maximize revenue, minimize costs is their maxim. The job is very involving and mind enervating. You joined the role as a social media strategist but now have to take up a majority of all the graphic design as they sacked the skilled graphic designer just like that (callous). You are on this sojourn pending a real job in the financial world, maybe working for a stocks company or in a company engaging in hedge funds (need for applying school knowledge here) or perhaps an investment bank or a stock brokerage company. That is to say, you are in a frictional kind of unemployment only that your hustling has not shown any symbiotic relationship to the place you want to be in life.

Ideally, you are allergic to working in squalid conditions, but the quest for the minimal cash being offered in order not to appear as if you are idle makes you stick for a while. Just to get six months experience before you roll down your sleeves and call it a day because you are on wage employment. The condition of the office in which you work in is filthy. The ambiance is stuffy and the general outlook deplorable. You are only being a stickler because you have no other option of making some easy cash.

There is no lie that these Chinku we work for are hell stingy. They operate on the intuition that Africans have no moral authority to deserve better. Even after realizing massive profits, they still give you peanuts because they are recovering back the profits after deducting all the implicit cost that they are very vague about. You have never seen the financial statements of the company and that is the reason why you will soon be resigning from this job even if it means you have no other way of survival.

That a casual employee who had taken up the role of a cleaner was sacked unceremoniously in a callous manner because the pay she was requesting for was way above the much they could give was not only heart wrenching but owing to the fact that you were willing to top up for the little pay that she was being given and your so called boss refused, you never saw the logic that it will be some time before you get the pay commensurate to the work you do.

Now you operate in an unclean environment. It’s probably one of those places that you’re looking around your space and wondering what the heck you’re doing here with your time. One that is prone to airborne maladies. The only respite is that you are a paperless office and your files are not scattered all over, with the trashcan almost being full, or your lunch wrappers stacked up on the corner of your desk (there is this guy who sells us bhajia at KSh. 20 that is worth KSh. 250- they look like remnants- its a cost cutting measure yawa).  You feel like a wreck in that situation, don’t you?  You cannot imagine of letting your friends know about this place even though you have this very expensive computer that is touchsmart and a not so bad office table but being photo-phobic, you have never taken a snap of yourself working behind the machine. They posting pictures of their nicely furnished offices in clean environs is a complete contrast of your current predicament which won’t last long.

Again, the office has no incentive to provide employees with tea and snacks. That is never in the budget. If that is not provided, even the daily newspapers are like a far-fetched dream only seen on the streets. Engaging in pep talk while in the office is also a banned and a de facto caveat is in place regarding the same. 

The worst times are those when the director who we are forced to call boss slowly starts an argument over the phone with his wife. It usually starts like a rolling stone, slowly, then his voice starts rising above the sacred silence that is the office. When you steal a glance over at his face in his office, there is usually something smoldering underneath his stony expression. His face usually turns yellow and it gets shiny, a sign he is sweating. Those are the times he speaks continuously for more than five minutes in a harsh tone. His rage seems pointless to you, although you never say so, until it turns into the destruction of valuables. You wonder how she condones the shouting at the other end of the line.

There was this day he got really mad boiling with anger. The arguing came right through the walls as loud as any TV show and since the office is partitioned with glass you virtually thought they would break or succumb and though he is a small man his voice is unmatched. It attracted guys from two floors above and below coming to find out who was on the receiving end. Ideally there are two massage parlours above and below respectively. With tempers rising, you would think guys were going to come out nude to find out what was happening. But they could not. The sentries were scared. They could not surmount enough courage to approach him, though he is a diminutive man. They feared he could turn on them the way Jet Li or Jacky Chan does and beat the hell out of them into smithereens. There is also a showroom and that is the time when shoppers began running out helter skelter thinking they were next in line. He literally took his laptop and threw it away as he overturned his table which landed on the laptop when they could not agree.

There was this lady who kept saying that in the event Chatur heard about this drama, it was an exit for us in the building. He became relieved once he had also thrown the phone which equally crashed. 

You are used to this, if you are a lady though, you will find the easiest route outside. Reason why you are ascribing about it. Luckily, after the small fight, he returns to being sane quickly and even smiles. The best thing is that he has never channeled his anger towards you. The frustrations are usually real.

Then there was this misplaced theory that the reason why he was overturning things and almost running amok was due to the fact that his better-half had called him a "monkey". Why? Is it because monkeys are the beasts that can be savage when provoked? When my guy Poloji intimated to this, we laughed like it was a Profesa Amo hilarious anecdote delivered to break the monotony of working in hushed tones while in the office.

On the flip side, working for the chinks is self-effacing and though they exploit you to that point you feel you are being used, you take courage that everything has a reason. These guys are also humane. The only folly is that like all start-ups, which majority fail, they have high human resource turnover. Their compensation incentive is quite skewed and subpar. They make you feel like they don’t need your services while in actual sense, you are in an oxpecker zebra relationship. Since they push you to the limit and come up with unending new frontiers of duties, you have given them much in terms of what you can avail. At least when you leave whether or not you will have found a better offer, you will rest assured that the much you did was well worth it. Sometimes pay may not be the only reason why you work hard and smart even though you are a rookie with no paper qualification in what you do but the passion outweighs everything else.

When it is said and done, you need to move on. My six months of having worked hard is coming to a climax soon and I will be looking for new pastures. Man is to hunting until a woman comes in so that you can adopt a sedentary lifestyle even if you are paid what someone somewhere makes in an hour.

PS: Juggling work, classes (which I rarely attend due to work issues), writing and reading is tricky enough without a properly adhered to rota. There is always a trade off in the indifference curves skewed to one dominant force. But compromises have to be made. Everything has its time. Reason why I will be writing very short posts now.

HASTA LA VISTA BABY

[Picture Source: My Own]

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EDGE

The unplanned random rendezvous usually turnout to be enjoyable and fascinating. More so than those have with prior preparations. Like air molecules, you are free to roam around without being tied to life’s hullabaloo of being a stickler on how things should take a certain course. Because life is no rote in itself that should have a predefined channel. Even a river meanders and becomes subterranean before it reemerges to try and flow towards its source. Whatever you plan today may end up being overtaken by events since an undramatic tragedy may render a pursuit void just like that when it arises and not even intended and you may have no impetus over the end result.

Am in class writing the initial thought to this post during a short break that I have to make maximum use of in order to take advantage of time because it has become a scarce commodity in the recent past sue to pressing issues that have to be dealt with. I forgo the job in order to be in class on a typical Saturday morning because the Elnino weather that was presumed will cost the taxpayers more than KSh. 15 billion is turning out to be just another moniker for the usual short rains as its damage has not been as disastrous as the other rains witnessed before. Let this not be another conduit of making a certain calibre of people ripping the public coffers in the name that the disaster has failed to occur and their is need to spend that which has been already budgeted for.

I had to forgo the workplace just to serenade myself in a class that I find too reclusive because of my introverted nature in most formal classes. I attend in order to break the monotony of work, work and more work. Sitting behind a computer and posturing on how to be creative having not mulled over the probable while at it in order to execute breathtaking and arresting ads that need to be displayed in the social media and other different arenas owing to the demanding nature of being a graphic designer cum social media strategist.

Hitherto, I had never had the idea that I would be enclosed somewhere with a high-end touch computer surfing the net and copying rival company artistry in order to see to it that I have done my day’s job. That the machine costs a figure almost ten times my current pay is not even an antithesis. But with employers being kind of stringent with jobs and man having to have money to survive means even if it means that you are paid below your worth, you think you may tinker the damaged mentality that employability is based on the fact of having ever worked somewhere for sometime.

However, I needed a job and the remunerations then when I started were not a major issue. Now it is, because I can subjectively say I have grown in heaps and bounds ever since I changed careers which I will keep on doing until I become fully stationed in a zone of contentment. Again responsibility is cropping in and the current profession is a total antonym of what I studied in campus and my current class pursuit of making a financial analyst- however all professions have a close relationship. In fact, I only became friends with investopedia recently to add more content to my financial ken. I can honestly say that as much as my career prospects may be in a quandary, the future is brighter. The pain I go through prepares me for something bigger that my be forthcoming or not coming in the near future but the ultimatum is that at the end of the day something will happen. “Mui huwa mwema.”

Going to rave Solo man has never been my bed of roses. Succinctly, it can be a guilty indulgence for the very fact that I am phobic about where I may end in. In my wicked mind, I was planning on going to spend a few bucks in Zodiac, a popular joint on Tom Mboya Street that my workmate Tony had indulged me to sample. Apparently, he had a dramatic experience there which made me want to make it to this club and sample it out. He had taken some legend brandy after our bbq in copious amounts and went ahead to this club that has prices of beer retailing at KSh. 230 which is painful for a man like yours truly to part with owing to my current financial turmoil. What’s worse is that he invited friends who had been paid and he ended up kneeling on the floor praying to some unknown god only for the pals to mistake him for an illuminati stalwart, the inebriation having taken effect as a result of mixing Guinness and Pilsner and the earlier legend that made him blubber some nonsensical stuff until he found himself home the following day in bed with his expectant lady totally weary and confussed.

It defeats logic to engage in guilty pleasure by having fun all alone in a setting that might excite the nerves in you having taken two or three bottles and no peers being around, you can end up engaging in uncalled for acts that may make the bouncer come to your rescue in a not so palatable approach.  Sitting in a club alone can also makes you flatter than a week old glass of coke. Chances are you may not be having enough shekels then or you may as well need to visit the ATM to withdraw cash in your drunken stupor. To eschew the severity of a reclusive night out that may not have the fun filled flare, you earlier on call a pal who had promised to buy you a drink when you met a week earlier because he was nursing some schoupid malady that rescinded his partake of ale and he had stuck to the new state like a regulation because juggling a bigger master in terms of health issues was a no no for him.

Alas, Bena is the guy. He is a former high school acquaintance who perused in Moi Uni. He tells me to choose a place of my choice where we are to have a drink ever since he finalized with his medical regimen, which aint that bad. The good thing about him is that he has a larger than life personality. His extroverted nature makes him an easy guy to socialize with and easily likeable because of his hackneyed chitchat. He knows what you want to hear and says it without mincing his words. On the contrary, I am that guy who rarely divulges gen because I like to be fed with what someone thinks unless you are a perennial acquaintance.

Albeit him being kind of shagzmodoz, he has overshadowed the shortfall with his immense mastery of the city’s backstreet joints where you go for a jug when you want to be drunken at a price your pocket only knows. As that guy who loves company, I head to The Edge Lounge. Brayo, a workmate whom we share more traits in terms of being single and love for ale, grinding bodacious and bootylicious Chiquita’s and petty gibber accompanies me. We had earlier on wanted to go to some backstreet pub but found it full and since this was going to be my first time in club Edge which was also his first, I was of the opinion that why not? Essentially, this would have been the club of resort at wee hours of partying because of its expensive and urbane nature. Then you find it in a wild state.

Apparently, this club is quite decent and has this clientele who look like they are proletariats in some middle level companies working as the common staff or in private entities that are raking in just enough to party in a not so ritzy club. The waitresses are in black shorts. Those that show flesh and your loins may be a tad bit disturbed for a few seconds as you ogle at the beauty of what is rare to you because of their congenial nature. The club décor is grandeur, the blaring bass of speakers is lethal and the brawny bouncers give it a secure feel. Though they are muscled, it is the fleshy ones. One outstanding bouncer looks like Johnny Bravo. A bulging torso with toothpick like legs which gives him a funny appearance now that his skin is also craggy.

We order for our drinks, Brian goes for Guinness and as I settle for my Malt which I love served warm.

To be continued............

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