PARA MI MAMÁ

You know what ma, my mind is kind of wonky.

I know you love reading. I know it because we used to have those moments. Remember back in the days when dad used to buy ‘Daily Nation’ and each of us wanted a piece of what was inside.

These days, I have an uncanny habit of finding what I love reading from my palm. Phone. Oh! I am still moaning the loss of my phone. I know you tried to reach me the other day. Hence had to contact small bro.

Am trying out something new ma. From the rocky terrains that dad used so much to restore into cultivable land, you wake up every morning. You, ma have made a name out of yourself in those streets.

Those places don’t deserve the Twitter phrase ‘those streets’. It’s a hamlet for heaven’s sake. It’s a community that comes to life once villagers have got out of the lonely mud walled houses that characterize the humble dwellings people live in. Everyone knows everyone.

I know they look up to you because you have been an ‘employer’ for quite some time. Oh! What do those villagers say, that he works in town with nothing to show for what he has achieved?

Ma, I lost my phone in circumstances you would not be in affirmation of. I lost my phone because they get lost and I wrote about it here.

First things first. Ultimately, I will buy a phone. An analogue one that does not attract kleptomaniacs. One that befits my new-found status. An unemployed jobseeker. Because I don’t know how I will explain to guys what I do.

You know what ma, you are the only person who has called within the family and asked about my phone. Never mind that the call came almost three weeks after I lost my phone. Two weeks and four days to be precise. My statistical knowledge of rounding off without truncating tells me that it’s now three weeks.

You asked if I am still working? Yeah, I work. Not for a big institution anymore. I read on a blog they are requesting some staff to take up early retirement. Such inhouse affairs should not reach gossip blogs, right.

Then allow me to tell you that from my investment studies, those targeted don’t affect the investor confidence in the bank. I am like a jilted lover. You may say, nosing it up where I was from. Well, we are humans, we ultimately want to know what is happening the other side where we were initially.

Let me also tell you how it feels not to be having a phone ma. It feels like the nineties. I love it this way. You know that technology is integrated in our day to day life, especially the phone. I love the feel of people not having access to me. I also love it that no one is caring that much about me. Not having to text, call, and the internet of things. I still manage to wake up early due to instincts because I have no alarm to wake me up.

Here is a terse odyssey of my first day without a phone after being relieved off my duties for being AWOL. Minnows like us don’t matter that much when we don’t make it to work. In fact, I was just a torn in the flesh to my manager who never seemed to understand me and all that shit.

I decided to go to the famous Arboretum near State House. A nature trail that is gayer than anything on moors. A luxurious, glorious and greeny terrain that has trees that are alive with birds, insects, monkeys and squirrels. I wanted to go and meditate near the soothing sounds of a flowing river. I wanted to savor the sound so that it creates a sense of inner peace.

The pure white noise that I take for granted. It was going to be subtle experience to ease tinnitus and improve my concentration. Apparently, the sound of falling and gurgling water is no longer free if you don’t have a phone. And for that matter, Mpesa. I wanted to go and calm down and probably fall asleep. Guess what? It never came to be.

Well, ma the place I used to access free of charge while in campus is now only accessible by paying for entry via Mpesa. I had no phone, therefore no Mpesa and no entry.

I walked back feeling abused and weary. That I had walked all the way only to be told that I can access the place only after electronically paying for entry. What do these people want my phone number for? But we are living in a world where people thrive on data. My only question is, why only Mpesa.

That is how I never managed to gain entry. So my hard cash never mattered. Obviously, Uhuru Park came to my rescue. And I passed next to that cube I used to reside in while living in the suburbs. I felt nothing ma.

There is no way I would have put my mind into a thought process afterwards. But here’s a catch.

When you have nothing that goes on in your mind. You develop a sense of self efface. You can even have suicidal thoughts. What’s more, nobody cares anyway. People only care when they gain from you, or in worst case scenarios, when you are about to be interred.

Fair enough, let me now change the vibe.

The other night, I felt that ka thing we feel when we see a person in a poor state of health.  I felt like an emotional roller coaster had taken over me. I even cried and slept knowing that you are experiencing a medical crisis. You voice though, still clear and authentic. But your health and body, it betrays the voice.

Then I remembered how you used to struggle with dad when he used to have those nose bleeding moments when I was a toddler and he had to go for a surgery. Now you only have him and he has you. He may not know how to be the best but still ensures he turns to the occasion every time you are sickling.

Ma, I don’t know how it feels to be that sick. The way dad explained it. The medication had an allergic effect on your body. And I could see it when I last saw you.

I felt sad but had to hold back the tears. At some point, when I saw you, I saw someone who was on the verge of going. But you are a strong woman and has seen worse. Well, because he is with you and knows best, I still carve out time to engage in other stuff other than thinking about your state of health.

Perhaps you are probably wondering whether your son is normal. You have never seen him with a lady, or he has never hinted at a relationship with one. Well, I am still single and chasing after the wind with a certain girl I should not even be chasing. She is my friend’s former girlfriend.

She had a birthday this week. She had wanted me to take her for an Italian cuisine this Friday. But I have gone chini ya maji because of issues finances. Lakini ntampeleka tu. Plus, I know how it feels when the person who should have wished you a happy birthday never does so. Well, I don’t have a phone. That’s my excuse. She knows about that. Hence, she can’t take any offence.

Now you know I am not having that ‘homo’ thing in me. Let me also tell you that there are others who have shown interest in me. Yet I never develop that deeper intimate relationship. I hence forget about them then remember later when their emotions have waned. But I am also to blame because I never tell them my feeling about them.

Now you know.

Moving forward. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I don’t think I am interested in getting married or kids any soon. Well, like Ngugi wa Thiongo said, ‘I marry when I want’.

Let me also take this opportunity to tell you this, I am not sure of what my results will be in the exams, but as days pass, I become more pessimistic.

Ma, I have been thinking about relocating. I don’t know where but essentially where the is more peace and seclusion. Then I will come back. In the meantime, I fear how to go about the whole issue.

I know that you felt disappointed when you heard that I no longer work. Let me try to explain. Sales, mum is a calling. Just like writing they say. It should come natural or you may force it.

The best part is that I had prepared you psychologically for the event. I never made any progress in life other than blog posts and reminisces of the job. Sales was tricky. It was even hard when I combined it with my studies.

It made me feel less of a person. When I look back, I realize that there is so much you can do other than being a salesperson. I have now taken advantage of Edx. It’s a free online learning platform when you are not interested in certificates to show that you have studied a particular course. One day I will introduce your other son when he has outdone his love for FIFA.

Ma am still employed. But I have not got to that level where I can be entrusted with the company email. You know what, when I make this blog professional, I will have mine email.

I know many people take company email for granted but I am envious of them. Does that matter? Not very much. It’s just that I would have loved to have one when time comes. One more thing, I still have my pleb’s email.

Here is something else.

I have a feeling that you pray for me and my siblings to one day get out of the desolation and have proper jobs. I think happiness in life outweighs even the best job with the most competitive compensation package in the world. I also pray for your quick recovery in these times when you have no medical cover.

Seek thee the kingdom of happiness and all else shall be added unto you is my mantra. Once you are happy. It becomes easy to build on confidence and act on prevailing opportunities. Right?

Ma, I hate to say this but I hate when people advise me to apply for internships. It is said that it is a sure way to getting employed. You get skills that employers need. That the exposure is very material.

I will digress. Getting a job has more to do with being very good in what you do so much so that you become a prized possession an employer cannot let go of or the other way around. Again, there is the aspect of trial and error for a newbie like me in the area I want to venture in. It may take long but not forever. In the meantime, I am honing my skills.

But here’s something nice that you would love to hear. I have been up to date in my financial obligations in terms of paying for the groups we share and as such, I am not financially in a quagmire. Only that the big bucks have refused to come through.

Albeit the current moments seem unpromising, the future is bright. I can tell without doubt. You will pona and I will get a job. I will endeavour to beat the ideology that is there are no good jobs for plebs. In the meantime, I am working on getting my grove back.

Finally, it’s that time of the script to wrap things up. Time to tell you that I love you ma for being the woman in my life. Though I rarely ever call to tell you that. Those kibokos you gave me helped in a way. I am proud of you and as you struggle to make ends meet like I am doing this other side, I am pretty sure that one day, you shall reap the fruits of your labour for the sacrifice that cost you and you know where.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Photo Source: Google Images]

Read More

CREATIVE BLOG WRITING IMPETUS

Does creative blog writing change our demurred perspective on the plight of those who struggle everyday having gone through experiences in life that are mortifying or those who lavish at the altar of abundance because life bestowed such prominence?

The world is without doubt a global village. At the click of a button, you will be able to see pictures (said to be worth a thousand words), watch videos and even read on what’s trending all over the world. Amid the many pictures and videos, words aid in giving life to otherwise undecipherable sounds, motion pictures or still pictures that we see whenever we access the internet. And internet created the blogs. I will not dwell on the genesis of the blogs. But the reality is that as at now, blogs are a force to reckon with. They shape life in so many aspects we cannot fail to ignore them.

This essay will gravitate on how creative blog writing is redefining the narration of untold stories which are rarely captured by the mainstream media. Blog posting has also aided in taking writing to the next level. As such, it should be appreciated as an avenue of making would-be professional writers in the near future or those who are yet to be discovered.

Blogging is changing the way people tell stories that would have never been captured in black and white. Ideally, it's easy starting a blog, but updating it continuously is a major setback among many bloggers. It is a maelstrom that needs innate research since we are losing many writers due to lack of intrinsic motivation. However, there are a number of creative blog writers who capture us readers with fascinating stories you feel like you are part of the story as opposed to making readers feel like passengers in a bus. Their prose are ‘leavened with wit’, hold us captive and serenade us with joy or invoke grief or remorse we sometimes are forced to act just by the power of words we read.

Indeed creative blog writing has been instrumental in shaping the perspective of many people who would have otherwise not acted because of lack of information. The penetration of cheap Chinese smartphones has made it easy to access information on the internet which has also been compounded by the availability of subsidized data bundles in this age of technology. For example, in Kenya, when a blog post goes viral, many people get to know about a  tragedy facing an individual or it aids in creating awareness about stigmas which readers can react to. As such, such posts trend on the social media with engaging hash tags that capture your attention even if you never wanted to read. Therefore, creative blog writing aids in bridging the hiatus that is existential in terms of being informed since the mainstream media is limited to reported stories by journalists and the editing process kills stories that may end up not evoking reaction by the ‘audience.’

There is a case in point where a blogger  used her platform to inform her readers of the rot in society especially about the collapse of a bank that had accepted in deposits the savings of her family lineage. When the bank was liquidated and because in the financial miasma, it is the creditors whose dues are first settled, they are still waiting to be indemnified. It was real eye opener because she was among those who had to undergo the misery of having lost so much money when they had trusted in an institution to deliver.

There is also a time a very influential blogger used his platform in raising awareness on cancer. The end result was a certain cancer patient got help in terms of finances to aid in his treatment at a hospital in India. That’s killing two birds with one stone. Otherwise, no one would have known that he was bravely battling with the disease and was not going to let the growth let him succumb without using alternative avenues. Maybe, now he is benign or on the onset.

The blogosphere in Kenya is still in its nascent stages. The number of bloggers who take it seriously as a source of livelihood can be said to be insignificant. Many creative bloggers are engaging in writing as a pastime hoping that someday, they will be able to take their craft to the next level. That means getting a wider audience, being able to cash in on advertising revenue as a result of blog posting and having an influence in general on their readers. Which is beneficial because you have a rote that as a blogger should be fulfilled, failure of which, you may antagonize those who wait with abated breath for a new post. The only stumbling block to going mainstream in terms of blogging is the availability of finances for setting up a professional blog and advertising the blog. Still many people are not aware of avenues they can use to blog on the various platforms available.

However, there are instances in which some people have used such platforms as blogs to perpetuate vices in society. While such engagements may generate income to such bloggers, the net effect is that it eventually contributes to the moral rot in society. Propagation of messages that tend to incite readers negates the essence of an avenue that should be used for the betterment of society. However, we cannot live in an ideal world. Had rather we foil their efforts when they go to the extreme end.However, as long as people of various cultures and creeds congregate together, there is high likelihood of finding those who will engage in truancy for the sake of it or as a result of influence from movies or information available online.

With all due respect, blogging is here to stay. It is slowly giving the traditional media houses a run for their money. But before it takes over, let’s appreciate the little it has done in addressing the inadequacies that have been plaguing society which are sadly ceaseless.

P/S: I originally wrote this essay as a requirement for submission in a certain online class I was attending and thought it necessary to have it on my blog.

Hasta La Vista Baby.


[Picture Source: My Own] 

Read More

THIS BLOG CALLED GHAFLA!

Addiction is the word when it comes to Ghafla! I have tried to deactivate my mind from the notion of thinking about this blog but it has become like the virulent cocaine in my system (Someday I will see this stuff coz I only see it on telly). Ghafla! It has grown from a ragtag blog that used to cherish showcasing nude women as a measure of attracting traffic to a more professional (sic) site over the years that has credibility and probably reliable. Actually I believe it has not yet got to that standard of being termed as fully professional, maybe say amateur. In fact quitting Ghafla will take more than good intentions and goodwill and being convinced it does not add value in my life. I have it as a speed dial on my phone just to check on what’s hot and trending. 

I love gossip (Who doesn't anyway, the blogs force you to like them because they rely on it). While I am yet to find an author in Ghafla who has a way of magically using words that obliterate the average Joe in penmanship into smithereens, their art in delivery is simply more than magical, scintillating and laxative- fuck I had to use this word though in a word- breathtaking. They are pestering, rabid and vociferous. Like the bible affirms, "Remind them even if they are on the know." Somewhere in 2 Peter Chapter 1. My uncle knows how to put it best in jeng. 'Par ne gi uru kata ging'eyo.'

Their slogan is perhaps what draws one more closer as it ideally matches what they promise to deliver- 'Fighting Boredom | Promoting Stardom.' Methinks they should re-brand to something like promoting ratchetness to stardom. Why? Good question if you may have asked. Ghafla promotes some of our ladies as sex objects and their stories are centered on these ladies- both connoisseurs and upcoming. They have redefined the word socialite. As long as you have a big curvaceous booty (men never get enough of these) that in a way let those final curves collide to meet a nice contoured butt, smooth, well toned and cellulite-less thighs, a triangle at top inside thigh which light and air can pass, that would be perfection very rarely seen, a penchant for publicity and photos to validate the same that have been neatly photoshopped. You are good to go.

And the number of prostitutes in the name of socialites that the blog make us believe are having a rosy lifestyle, (indeed lying to the average Jane is as easy as ABC) are skyrocketing by the day. If I was a lady, I would fake it till I make it. What with the increasing number of outlets in town offering avenues of skin lightening, fake doctors injecting the booty with silicon (read cement) and of course make up that you can find cheaply before making it or crossing the river to the other side of prosperity (read weaves of Sh. 5million and shoes of sh. 2million). And probably spend more time in the gym to have a body to die for because men are visual creatures.

I sometimes usually listen to the reaction of some of the socialites on blog who are interviewed and their videos uploaded on their YouTube Handle having gone to Ghafla offices. The girls fit the role society has bestowed on them. I usually feel like they are giving me strong and high octane emetic owing to the fact that they are  overrated and proving more ratchet and obtuse.

However, they give men what they want. I am sure that dude of Ghafla Guy And Girl has his phone in constant activity especially on a Friday when men want to unwind with a beautiful damsel by their side. Oh and he could be a better PIMP if he whets his acumen and discovers he is holding onto a gem that can rake in millions. In the US, that momentarily gives you a clout and good avenue to break even and start swimming in the world of profusion.

Work ethic however can’t allow that. It would be suicidal. Especially if reported, but who cares. You can always chameleon your way out of trouble. However this requires a Dexter who does not fumble. I doubt the chap has the acuity of pulling the scheme and smiling all the way to the bank.

The surge and growth of Ghafla as a force to reckon with has been geometric and colossal. When you think it is kicking the bucket, like the ubiquitous cat with nine lives, it resurfaces. Niaje died and went under and was interred. It resurrected but things have never been the same again. Not Ghafla. It has endured the pitfalls of the blogging world to be among the very best if not the best in the country, razzmatazz is the word. While they rival magazines like Pulse and Buzz, they still need to come up with new ways that will lead the two struggling magazines to actually go six feet under. They may lead them to their deathbed because what is found in the magazines is simplified by this blog among many other blogs that scramble for hits using gen that others have used resources to collect and acquire.

The emergence of many blogs that flout the laws on copyright infringement which are not being reined on by CA is one issue that should actually be addressed. While I tend to think that most of the information that Ghafla relays to its readers is authentic, the fact that other blogs are offering nothing other than tarnishing the reputation of famous people in the name of making money online should be in fact be chastised as it amounts to career wreckage to the individual. Their copy paste approach usually gets into my nerves literally. No creativity whatsoever, just stealing. In academic lingo, plagiarism is one set back that is killing the blogosphere in Kenya.

I love the fact that Ghafla has cut a niche in the way it has been able to stick to the Kenyan entertainment scene. This has been the major folly among many blogs that never know what they really want to dwell on. It is sometimes tempting to deviate but trust Ghafla to remain on course. Specialization is never easy, it requires being steadfast. You may want to engage in it but finding motivated individuals who are passionate about what you are doing is usually a hard task that most find it hard to implement and stand by the stratagems.

Influencing people in a positive manner is one thing that I am sure the site has failed to dwell on. It carries out stories that are so mundane and although they are almost the same, there is nothing much one can expect. ‘Hazinijengi’ is what I can attest to how I feel about the stories that Ghafla carries out. You sometimes want to read a story that is inspiring, out of the world, of things that are accurate especially that relate to how you can get to the next level in terms of fulfillment but you only find empty words. There is nothing for the average Joe that will give him a new dawn or wow them into beliving that indeed super-humans do exist.

Sometimes back, reading the blog was very interesting because they relayed the information in a terse manner and you would not spend all your time reading a story. They had mastered the art of hitting the nail on the head, brevity and going straight to the point when delivering. The idea of many pages for a single story was never part of the plot or the script. Ideally, when you want to make someone read or see what you are doing, never let him go through many hurdles. It’s not like one is sitting for an exam to read all that content. And since most people rely on Safcom bundles, you need to be considerate because opening so many pages is not only annoying but also poverising.

I love the fact that Ghafla ventured in stories that the conservative media failed in addressing, porn, prostitution, and well glorifying sex which is untoward morally in the conservative African setting. However, Standard Digital Entertainment wing of Standard Digital still offers this blog a run for their money (damn those stories are a must read). They deliver stories that people want. Funding has also made them better off. But again, Ghafla compensates on this by giving many stories and being their five days a week.

Awhile back, I used to read this blog because they summarized all the hot pepper gossip from all the major media houses, just to ensure that they had something on their blog. That the blog has grown is not a lie. They have the requisite muscles and influence and they have made many people famous (). Their advertising wing has really done a tremendous job. I can’t lie that I have at times been influenced to some extent by them. All in all, I pass by the weblog because I consider the site a place to unwind. It is serious.

The Ghafla girls, these girls are hot, like hotter than fire and their beauty is bewildering. They have the looks, Fundamentals and rangi ya thao. You ogle at them and you wish. But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride on them. I once saw a chic I knew from Campus who made it to be a Ghafla girl and thought she had stooped so low. Then, I thought that it was an avenue of profiling yourself as a prostitute because ideally, most of the chics who had been profiled were reeking of being hoes. Unbeknownst to me, the chic was actually a model- those who do clothes. While I cannot surmise that models are also ladies of the night. One thing that is true, everyone wants money, how it comes or how you make it does not matter. As long as you pay your bills, never give a damn about what the world things. Money is power.

This reminds me of a certain lady who said that in the event she got an avenue of getting free money through being a high class prostitute, she would take the opportunity like yesterday with open arms. In her opinion, as long as you are sleeping with a man and he pays, there is no crime. Willing buyer, willing seller. (The chic liked shopping, feeling cool and all that, those who consider themselves as expensive). In this world, make hay while the sun shine.

I bet the Ghafla girls usually give some ladies headaches because the hotels they hang out in, the well toned bodies and their small tummies that excite the average male not forgetting the fact that those ladies have the requisite attire to accentuate their curves.

Sometimes I wonder why the site come up with list like; top ten celebrities who have won in a fart festival by farting loudly and that which clings to your olfactory senses long after you left the scene you need a gas mask, Top ten female celebrities who are still virgins but going out with elderly men because the have the shekels, List of men who have had a dry spell in the last five weeks and the list of titles is endless.

But I bet Ghafla it may be fair TMZ in Kenya. Trending Newsroom and Mpasho just come second to this site. A plus for Ghafla is that they have enabled mobile view in the site. However, the annoying advertisements sometimes put me off. If only Ghafla could minimize on too much advertisement. Another drawback is that they only work during the weekdays like some white collar executives.

Trust Ghafla to have mustered their audience. They brandish names such as Corazon, Huddah, Vera, not forgetting Risper. These names have built the site to what it has become.

Trust Ghafla to glorify what they are not supposed to. They have influenced even the born again self confessed Christians to backslide. How can a socialite who still plies the trade acknowledge that she is saved? Sometimes I tend to think that religion is something personal and even though we have gospel artistes who drink booze, that is their personal life. Which we are VERY interested in. Mulika Mwizi however. Professing faith and not being a stickler to it yet you get paid through it is actually being a con.

The regular contributors of Ghafla should adopt a strategy that does not stick to what is obvious. They should have a paradigm shift and try other new things because they have become too predictable. You never get the urge to open the pages to read the stories they are trying to let the reader peruse. A quick bird’s eye on the home page gives one the idea of what the writers are trying to let you know. That is make you open the link to read the story.

I can’t single out one writer who I can attribute to being my favorite. I read their stories because they are writers and reading is my favourite pastime
Sadly, the site has been having technical hitches in the way making it go down sometimes, failing to respond in phones when you want to see pictures and maybe too much pressure from having high traffic. 

SITUONANE.

PS:

[Photo Source: Google Images (Various)]

Read More