HOPE

Against all odds.

Two seasoned colleagues were having some silly banter and I was listening to them in autopilot mode almost chocking with laughter while they were discussing about 'us'. Apparently, we were the latest guys to head hunted for some serious job and we were as such newbies in this out of the world corporation by Kenyan standards. We had to pass like 6 assessments to land this job and that is why we are what we call an elite group of employees. Actually, we are basically machines that reproduce what is already in black and white for analytical purposes by experienced analysts. Someone should teach us programming so that we can be analysts instead of digital transcribers. Even our employer knows that we are wired to work that way and since man must earn, we must get a life by constantly working like all those who make this world a better ( red bitter) place. The little you get is better than nothing at the end of the day. Mbona ukae idle kama kuna kazi hata kama ni peanuts unapewa. Is that not an adage for those who have been looking for gainful employment but can’t find when they find one?


Allow me to allude about a campus graduate I was having a conversation with, she was a girl I knew from my time as a student but she recently graduated. She was like, is the money we are supposed to be earning only enough for transport and rent. Nothing like entertainment or something. In my heart, I remembered how I had ambitions of earning a six figure salary when I had finished high school. Now, I am at the base of that pyramid of life working towards attaining self actualization in the later years of my life. I should have told her that you need to start from a certain point where you cannot be shaken when things go haywire. Obviously, that was an afterthought.

So, this two jamaas were literally talking behind my back and I could hear what they were saying. Let’s call the first dude Simba, and the second dude Picha.

Simba goes, “Kwa hawa watu wapya, ni mtu mgani unaona anakaa daktari daktari hivi, ule jamaa serious kuruka. Anadunga job ni kama hio tu ndio alikujia hapa?” 

My instincts were telling me that they were referring to me because I was seated alone away from guys we had been recruited with because the previous day, they told me they could not concentrate as I was breaking their ribs with constant punches of real anecdotes they thought were probably fabricated or something. I remember a colleague just laughing every other time I said something silly. Like I was telling them that sometimes a stray bullet by the boys in blue may hit you and instead of your family being aggrieved, you end up paying the police for the ammunition they used on you. God forbid, if you die, you end up being a state body before your copse is transferred to a morgue of your family's choice. It is something I saw with a relative who kissed the bullet here in Nairobi for abetting crime. Police were compensated when he was gunned down even though this was a case of mistaken identity. In the end, you sometimes end up saying, 'Ni mapenzi yake Jalali'. But deep down, you hurt and feel like 'shot to kill orders' should be applied to thugs fleeing in a getaway vehicle, not unarmed individuals like this guy who was gunned down even if he was in what police say was attempted robbery.

Another colleague even referred to me as a Mathare case. I had to take cover. I have since moved and love my new home. Away from making guys think I am a court jester. And ever since I moved from them, I have been having success with my earnings. Guess, sometimes we have to hive ourselves off when the going gets tough. Just for a few.

You see, I like making fun sometimes, like, when I am not being serious, I can really get petty and raunchy, and dirty. I think it’s a guy thing to be dirty dirty.

“Kwa hawa watu wako kwa hii room, unaona mseee mgani anakaa mwalimu. Hata si mwalimu tu, mode wa kitu kama CRE CRE hivi, unajua tu hao wasee. Hawakai kuwa na haraka na Maisha, wako tu.” Simba was telling Picha.

Picha then retorts back, “Unaona tule tudem tumekaa pale.” I think he was pointing them using his mouth or his eyes were darting in that direction in response to Simba’s question, "Hao ndio pefectet definition ya mode wa CRE, kwanza wale wa primary school hujifanya kuokoka na hakuna kitu wanajua. Wanashindda tu kuwaaambia story zile hakuna."

Damn, I was almost breaking into a wild one and because I was also sweating (the result of a held laugh), I decided to go to the loo to get sane again. Luckily, there is always water and tissue papers in plenty, you wash your face and wipe them wish tissue when things are hot under the visage. How else do you expect me to contain the simmering laughter when they were talking crass like class three pupils who had just seen two newcomers in their class? Kwani, men can be this petty, malingering behind someones back like wale mamathe wa ploti. 


I guess I looked more focused than I should have been. Perhaps, they should have found me during one of my theatrical days, combining fake and wild ideophones with gestures while speaking. When I am free and willing to let loose those thoughts that I harbor in my medulla oblongata flow, I can really get nasty. Never mind my non-biological use of that organ inside our head, guess I thought it refers to the cortex(memory organ) in the brain.

I think there is only one thing one must never lose in this world and that is hope for something good or a better tomorrow. We thus need motivation for the same. Constant motivation daily makes us forget our woes even when we are so much burdened and having a hard life. A life that only you know about, unless you let it be known to others who want to know the same about. The struggles we have to endure, the patience we have to stomach, the downfalls and pitfalls that make us strong, the victories that we conquer and are behind us, and always keeping hope alive. Because once you are hopeful, even the world will realize that you need something and it will slowly come to you.

We all have hope. At some point in life, I was hopeless, I was having those moments that I thought would last longer than they should. I was low and downcast. But when I look back, I should have not let those instances take the better of me. They should have been a lesson that I learn from. I am still on a learning pedestal. The only difference with ages ago is that I am more seasoned in the game than ever before.

What is there to hope for in life? Yes, the first thing is to be able to see tomorrow that never comes. Another thing is that when you see it, you will have money to spend after satiating your basic needs. We hope we will find it in abundance that we cannot spend all at once. Yet, we are never getting enough of it. It’s not a coincidence that those who get money are those who don’t have money problems. They are wealthy guys who want to maintain the status quo and keep their dynasty steadfast.


I sometimes hate money. Not the spending part though, I hate the part where it is the root of all our problems. I wish I could not have to work for the money bit. I wish I worked for personal fulfillment through meaningful work that is more geared towards bettering humanity and less of having capitalistic tenets. But we are in a world where money matters, I robustly admire moneyed guys, they make me want to be like them, yet I always tell myself, just be patient, things will look up and you will get it when the right time comes. It's a notion that I have to really disengage from like yesterday. Guess that is the reason why I am never in a hurry. Unlucky me. Tomorrow I will be a lucky guy, Inshallah.

Hasta La Vista Baby

[Photo Source: Pixabay]