GREENER PASTURES

There is nothing as good as doing something that you love. Sometimes money can drive you nuts but when you find true autonomy in a venture, you get excited and happy even when you know there is nothing to smile about in terms of leveraging on what you take home.

I realized that I love a sedentary lifestyle. The kind of life where I am not supposed to be in motion if it involves a job that I am required to do. However, I love travelling. It’s fun travelling, but when it is work related and it determines your stay in the workplace in terms of contributing towards pay, then am not in for it. Truth be told, I love being in a comfort zone. Where you are not pressurized to meet people or such like stuff.

Ideally, I work with some of the best people who have received awards for having been the best in what they do. They are the kind of people who give me hope. However, the immediate person I work with as my boss does not seem so even though I find him quite affable when it comes to his former clients when he was still a teller in the bank. Like me, he is clueless on what I am supposed to do. However, he tries his best whenever possible. The job though, quite lousy. Sometimes I usually ask what I am doing but what keeps me going is the hatred for idleness.

Yet, there are times I find myself idle I normally feel like I am taking the bank for a ride. What then can I do? When you know your character quite well, you will not let things that are not working out be part of you. For a fact, I know that I am not as able to chase after people. That is why I love the sanctuary that is the office. It’s not that there is much you earn, but the fact that you are in the office gives some form of legitimacy.

Clients love it when they come and find you seated somewhere waiting to serve them (some). Then there are those who want to be served at the comfort of their workplaces which is also alright. I have experiences both and I think that what works for one does not work for another. What I know is that in the event I am forced to depart from this comfort to be a field salesperson, I don’t know whether I will last long.

The truth is that we are rarely satisfied with where we are. We want something better while others envy where we are. There is no place that is better. The best place ideally is in utopia. Methinks even Bill Gates is still searching for that place. Reason why he is also serving humanity in various facets through his foundation. While he is not after financial autonomy like yours truly that has been quite farfetched, there is something that keeps him going- hope.

Even the guy I work with is hopeful that one day he will find a good job. I thought I would have looked up to him but he only inspires me with his people skills. They are top notch. While I am appalled by his ease of doing it, I sometimes find myself in mental delusions or let me all them fantasies. I think deeply in retrospect and what I end with is nothing that I have ever wanted. School looks like failed me. I have lost the little verve that I had.

So last year, while waiting for the bank to be opened, I watched as Mucheru the CS in charge of information and communication talk about ajira digital. Well it is an online platform where Kenyans can find jobs to engage in given that this online jobs have been on an upward trajectory in the country. I never finished watching it but I got the rationale of why it was started. Well, the site is quite shady and reeks of ineptitude in helping the average Kenyan find a job.

Ideally, this was a website hurriedly patched up so as to appear like the CS was working. On the contrary, it worked for me to some extent because I got an invitation to attend an interview which would lead to work in a certain online platform called cloudfactory. Ajira digital is not for the average folk, for one, I am a graduate but I feel like it does not serve me. What with the fact that there are so many Kenyans out there who are in need of jobs but find it cumbersome to navigate the site to look for work? 

Well, the CS needs to realize that it for the platform to work, a feasibility study needs to be done in order to model it in the Kenyan context. I tried to refer someone else to the site to go look for a job but it did not work. That is how impotent the site is. What irked me was the idea of MPOST, a modern platform for receiving snail mail. I will not comment on that because it is a sales job which involves recruiting people. As for yours truly, I would not like to comment on it.

Ajira digital is lame. It is a link to other sites. It does not offer someone a chance to equip himself with skills to be able to bid for work. In a nutshell, it’s an idea that was hurriedly executed.

Like I intimated, I got a job offer from cloudfactory after taking part in online interviews where there was one I did not meet the minimum score but was still invited for a face to face interview. I declined the offer which I am not regretting even though there are signs that I might one day call those guys to request for work if things go haywire where I currently am.

Green pastures should come with an enticing offer. There is need for the package to be better than what you currently have. I did my cost benefit analysis and concluded that it was better I struggle where I currently am. Not that the offer was bad, but I remember the hustle that I was going to put myself in and rescinded going for the interview.

As for Mucheru, I must comment him because I thought he was the genius that I think people at Google normally are. As it turns out, he has been a lackluster performer who nothing can be written about. Where did the success at Google go to. Does it mean that he was riding on the effort of others in propagating flourishing ideas. This ajira thing is a still born. Even thiugh I am not sure of the statistics, what I am sure about is that it does not work for me. Hitherto

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture source : ] 

Read More

HUSTLER CRAZE

There is a scene where Nick, that cunning fox who is also the deuteragonist, sells popsicles to students after class having played victim in order to get a big pop yet his character is duplicitous. He cunningly gets paid for the pop by officer Judy Hopps who sympathizes with him and his young ‘un. She later finds little Finnick and Nick melting the pop in order to go and reshape them into small ‘pawpsicles’ to sell to the rat students where the earn quite some bucks.  

And then, there is that point where Judy tells Nick, "Well. I stood up for you, and you lied to me. You liar!" She lashed out at him. Upon which he naughtily replied "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

Obviously officer Judy had a déjà vu moment and she did not waste time in seizing the opportunity into duping him to confess that he had committed a felony by lying on a federal form for tax evasion. ‘Well its my word against yours,’ Nick tells him. She then lets him listen to his tape recording before replying, “Actually, it’s your word against yours.” Before continuing feeling like a diva saying, “It’s called a hustle sweetheart.” Kaboom.

Mockingly, Little Toot Toot who was in the pram jumps up laughing out loudly while retorting boisterously, “She hustled you. Hahahaha. She hustled you good.”

I have never tried doing movie reviews before since it is not my cup of tea. Consequently, I am not going to pretend to do a synopsis of that movie. However, I love the hustling bit. Movies have also become my other love.

The lucky me requested to be redeployed to a less frustrating job from the more cumbersome and seizing up job of outdoor selling to telemarketing/sales. The day I got my letter, I could not even think twice. I even forgot to go tell my boss that I had moved given that she was not willing to let me go. The HR had solemnly replied to my prayers because I had drooped like a desert tree in that arena, why lie. I was even contemplating to resign during the festive season considering that I was finding it stressful to go back to do that which was not brining in results. It was a return to uptown deluxe. Actually, the reason why I left that kind of hustle though very rewarding monetarily is because of the fact that there is a behemoth in the name of CFA that I tackle each day that I cannot compromise on given that I hate repeating coursework. It normally comes between me and all the adoration I have loved over the years. Actually, you have to give blogging a wide berth sometimes to read CFA. It’s just practical. I don’t know how to explain it better than having to feel the pressure from within.

I now sit in a corner somewhere next to the boss’s WC and in the event that it becomes sprayed with those noxious air fresheners, I usually feel like fleeing especially when the door is opened because I am now a full-time proletariat operating from the Branch as opposed to looking for sales in the field. Well, it shows how diffident I can be especially if the pockets become shallow and you have heaps of debts that you need to settle but they keep on resurfacing like night after day.

So, there was this guy who came to the office and I loved his courage. He was sweaty in the armpit which was visible in his tight and amateur-redesigned t-shirt. Albeit, the njaanuary rippling effects were quite real and the Zuku bouquet had not been replenished so that I did  have to look for movies elsewhere.

The lanky guy was in all white. His face looked like someone who has worked so hard but ‘mjengo’ had not come through, the reason why he resorted to peddling movies in CDs the way I used to peddle loans, credit cards, accounts and insurance policies and my figures were not looking any brighter.

He showed me several pirated movies that would have wowed me, but I only focused on his general mien that was also questionable. None of his movies had the x factor that normally moves me to watch because ratings and the small bio of the movie tells me a lot rather than listening to the perspective of someone who there is a likelihood did not watch what he is selling. 

There is this movie called pets that caught my eye. I have never had about it but given that this guy appeared like a movie connoisseur, I instinctively trusted his word to be the gospel truth. I looked at him, tattoos all over his arms, neck and I  could tell they were never done at a professional tattoo artist but a novice who was not thorough in his trade. What convinced me to buy from him was the fact that he mentioned a certain manager who has a seat at a certain corner as his main customer and given that he succinctly gave a fitting description and given that it is a month known for its inadequacies, I gave him a benefit of doubt and decided to promote a fellow hustler who probably earns more that this office guy when their is a shortage commissions.

Later, when I went to try it on my laptop at the close of the day’s business. I realized that it was blank. I remember telling the chap that his DVD was probably blank but he reassured me that he cannot do so given the loyal customer he had.  That’s the point where I recollected my former nark skills in surveying a DVD. Ideally, there is a start difference in the coloring of a blank and a written DVD. A written one is kind of darker while a blank one is not as dark.

There is this conversation I was listening to about food in our ka small office kitchen and one of the ladies who work there made me laugh inwardly because I am new and as such did not want to burst out laughing at her. She was telling a story of how she arrived in the city back then from shagz. Apparently, she was brought up eating food in such a way that you eat as much as you can. On arrival in the city where she was to probably slum with her brother because I am sure they were not living in the suburbs to qualify as a resident, she got a shock of her life.

Ugali, was served in slices and since her brother also lived with a company of men, she started crying when she saw the quantity that was to be shared by all the people in that house. Five to be precise and she was there to eat with men who she thought were not having enough. Yet when you look at her, she does not look like someone who would eat lots of food because she is the kind of those we call petite. Luckily, her elder brother came to her rescue and bought her a full loaf of bread which she cleared not knowing that in the city you have to have manner when eating.

Since this is about hustling, there is a certain hobo who is dread-locked on Moi avenue near Innscor eateries who ‘times’ dudes walking with ladies to request for alms to go and buy some victuals. I only noticed that when I saw him hustling a certain guy with a ‘kawa’ chic and I passed him realizing that he also begged me to give him cash not twice but more than that on several occasions when he spotted me walking with a chic from work. I just shook my head and said inwardly, 'This is Nairobi.'

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: Google Images]

Read More

NOTHING EVER CHANGED

Though the heart is relieved and the burden that clogged smashed into shards like the windscreen of a third world Japanese contraption in a less than tragic car accident, there is still an empty void that feels like there is need for it to be filled. There is hope for a better tomorrow. In a nutshell optimism, even in the face of nonfeasance means that there is a drive that will keep the tempo thump.

The truth is that the more things change in life the more they remain the same. We all struggle to get an inkling about what our tomorrow will be. As we do, there is this volatility that is the life we live. At some point, we cease to be in love with our jobs, life itself, the house we live in, the environment and all the fanfare that you can ever think of. You are in a state of Armageddon. Whether it is personal, societal, economic or filial, there are moments in life when there seems to be no brouhaha at all.

When the year blossomed, I remember being woken up by the popping sounds of firecrackers that marshalled a new era in many ways. I remember looking through the window as the whizzing whistles and the thunderous thuds rented the night sky into a sparkle that is usually rare.  The bright flash was nostalgic as it was glittering the sphere, I felt that I should have gone to be part of the new dawn and celebrate with the others in the merriment but the zeal could not evanesce. It was really a delectable spectacle. It was dazzling and amazing as an illuminating giant with the inscription ‘2017’ faded away in the moonless night.

Either way, I remember meeting a former high school buddy who works for a certain non-governmental organisation in Karen on the eve of new year and I realized that nothing ever changes. Dude has remained the same.

He is still the lanky dude with so much to tell, stale jokes, and nothing looks promising in him. He was headed for a showdown with an alumnus somewhere in Jamhuri estate to cross over the year along Ngong Road (He later told me they went to Space Lounge but the beer price was exaggerated they had to chuck). I loved that I was doing things man solo. Yeah! I wanted to mark the day alone because I have never. So, I went to a club called Ricoz at the heart of downtown Nairobi. A place I was introduced to by a colleague who was also introduced by a certain bugger who is an alumnus of my former campus. He told me when he wants to have some me time, he finds his way to this sin city that is renowned for a major slack. Those who you interact with in this place don’t feel a tinge of scuzzy that the air surround this place is.

I believe I am the decent types of people who are never in a hurry to quench their libido once there is an avalanche of twilight girls. In Ricoz, you are spoilt of choice when it comes to the type you want. The only hindrance is that you may take quite some time to get a lanky lady, with a sexy derriere, a bewitching buxom bosom and the despicable smile that may twitch the lecherous urge in the gonads to feel like bursting because they have seen the appetizer. Once one spots you, she will grab your am saying ‘kuja ntakufanyia poa leo.’

Watching football was nice. Once in a while I would sneak to go find out if one who did fit the description of the lass I had thought of would show up. Yes, I am a man, and when you have downed some tots of cheap liquor because the pay was so frothy that month, you feel like finding something to cheer you up. Going to the urinals hoping to bump into her so that you can ease the load is what the minds wants, but the finances and the body does not feel it is right. It’s all about objectification and the primal urges when the blood flows from the brain to the equatorial region you find yourself thinking like a horse on Viagra.

Yet for someone like me whose vowed never to touch a lady of the night, it was quite easy to think of football again. My team Chelsea was having a field day. There is some form of guilt that comes with seeking the services of a hoe. The risk, the truth is that there is that someone who will see you and he will not let the cat out of the bag soon. Then one day, you will be astounded by the tale of you as a person who is after the services of a prostitute, yet you had only gone to watch soccer. I guess I was just feeling a little bit lost and lonely. Tinder was not working out and my amor had gone MIA again.

So I went and ordered a hard drink and a soda to reduce the ukali. I sat at a corner where I had a good view of the telly.  I barely finished my ‘’ka quarter’’. In fact, I left it half way when what I had intended for came to an end. I religiously took the exit even though there were those ladies who wanted to grab me to go and quench their paper urge yet I knew that if I had carried excess cash, there was bound to be temptation to go with one. However, I detest the oblong body shapes of many and inappropriate touching the ladies give men. I don’t think I want to go to a place like that. Unless things are tight and I need to kill the sober tendency, it’s just a lure to peccadillo. By 21hrs I was already in the house hoping to start the new year by doing some little reading. It’s good to be ethical even when faced with temptations right!

Well, I finally managed to change my job location and role. The new role has been quite slow. Albeit, this is just a déjà vu. Am back to the place where I started with. So, the process of adjusting has not been intricate given that there are peeps I already knew. The new environment is quite serene and away from the foul smell that is the ostracized Gikomba by the city gentry. Uptown deluxe it is, it’s a role without much sweating. Sometimes I wish I was given a desk at the brokerage wing, even as an unpaid employee. Then again, there I never a need to rush. You get there at some point. If you don’t, one door will open with full force and you have just to accept it.

Hasta La Vista Baby,

[Picture Source: Google Images]

PS: I rewatched Terminator and there is that point where Terminator tells the villain ‘Hasta La vista Baby.’ Ain’t it funny.

Read More