COGITATION: A MIXED FORTUNE

I have always wanted to be part of the prolific auburn horizon that is not only a scenery but also an epitome of beauty for photographers and nature lovers like yours truly. For those used to it, it’s like the oxygen we take for granted each and every day. However, for peeps like me, it heralds what I usually miss in the city. For a fact, this was in the rurals, a breathtaking visage that kissed the hills and the now hyacinth littered lake that is my hometown. I love the rocky terrain that is my countryside, the rugged landscape that my cousins said I should not leave but ponder on sometime giving a facelift to a picturesque aesthetic panorama when I come of age (greenbacks wise).

My rural area where my old man has erected a structure is full of stones underneath and in the event you strike a hoe in it, you can easily land a boulder in patches that have not been reclaimed. When my old man built the structure, he thought it would be a temporary dwelling where he would stay for a while before constructing something graceful a top the tiny hill with a wonderful view of the massive lake. Now it has become his permanent residence. As a civil servant, he thought he would one day upgrade it to match the status of his stature in the hope of solidifying his lead. Even in retirement, he still thinks of constructing a modern structure that will be the embodiment of his once reputable stance. Not that his reverence has withered, but his position was questioned by one of my grandads owing to the fact that other people have gone two strides while he has remained with the good old conventional tenets instead of copying the avant-garde that once came to solicit for direction from him.

While there is erratic power from the inconsistent lines that serves our area in terms of electricity, forcing them to acquire over-priced solar panels that you have to feed daily by paying some cash in order to continue lighting up the house. Still, there is no proper supply of water in our area. The drought that had forays with fitful rain in the just ended season contributed in the area that is found near the equator to dry up and the worst part is that women and those people who fetch water have to walk far distances to find the commodity now likened to gold. Crops have failed and the corn fields where casual labourers wielded in the hope of reaping are now used to feed cattle. The peasant farmers are despondent.

Reminds me of a time when a certain shampoo-like liquid was used to hoodwink people that it would solve the perennial food-shortage in our rural only for crops to fail resulting in a dearth. That season, the supplier of the inept fertilizer smiled all the way to the bank as hapless farmers were left to shoulder the loses of having taken in advice that was catastrophic in terms of contributing towards good yield. Realistically, this should be a hardship area. Yet policies passed by lawmakers have rendered it a place that is self-sustaining, which is awesome as it adds to stature but fallacious in terms of the wellbeing of people who reside in this area.

Since it is almost approaching the electioneering season, one chap suggested that an aspirant who was keen on reaping from the area can either dig a borehole, or bring a water bowser to wow the ladies for at least a month and his or her name will be a song in the area resident’s mouths. Am not a not a political strategist and even though I know how politics shapes the economy of the country, there is little or no desire in my intuition to immerse myself in the murky waters that can be dogmatic and sycophantic.

In retrospect, I can say this was a mixed year full of ups and downs. At the beginning, I was all lamenting about the lack of jobs since I was in some kind of frictional unemployment. Yet when I got somewhere in an MNC which I sometimes run into gen about that which am studying, I am feeling like am again in a structural kind of unemployment. Indeed, I feel there is a mismatch of what I am wired to do and what I am doing. But given the fact that I am at the lowest cadre of employees, my plea for change has been unforthcoming. Yet my dashboard is red. A sign that I just have to plead hard or because I cannot perform, I exit before the axe finds me.

This is my confession. Obviously, I have been like a toy being swung around by those who have authority over my stay in the bank. Already, I have got a transfer letter and I am jittery now that there is too much pressure on three forces that sometimes make me feel like I need to take a break from one and focus on that which is material and not back-pedaling. First, I have this lady who I think I have been playing cat and mouse games with for long I feel like she should just find a beau who will make her feel like a lady and take her to where she wants to be- married. Though, I like and love her, when things are not moving, you have to let go. It’s sad but, given the turmoil that I am currently in, I will only be a baggage as opposed to a solution to her new-found overtures that have been promising. Still, I want her to get someone else to compare me with. Like I have been this good guy she toys with then when she feels like exiting, she does and returns thinking I am a stone that is devoid of feelings, hell no, am human.

Well, I don’t feel like writing is bothersome. It goes and comes back gratuitously. So it does not fall into a category that gives me internal pressure. Lastly, there is pressure from CFA Institute. This one though, I love because I enjoy reading knotty stuff in as much as it enlightens on so many fronts. The pressure is internal. I have written about it and am not going to engage so much in it again.

The year in wait comes with so much to ex ante (in investment lingo it means expect). I am expecting to get a new job and to embark on the final level of my studies. It really feels good to pass exams. Though the feeling is transient, there is normally that joy that you have done your part and it’s now up to nature to reward you. If it does not, you have a life to live. Given that there are people who see you as their role model, you have to sometimes pretend even when it’s tough. Hope, the Oldest Man up high hears my prayer and grants me something relieving in due course.

Sometimes, I usually feel like I have let down those who surround me. Even though I am not accountable, I still feel that pressure that even after studying laboriously, I still am not able to match even those who dropped out and are independent and taking life by the collar. They make me feel challenged. It is as if am not doing things right.

What’s next? It’s high time this bugger moved away from contentment towards a challenge that will harness my potential. That should be soon because serenity and laxity may make me forget that there is more than just writing a blog, maintaining it even though it is kind of dormant, working to be seen you are in a job while in reality there is no prospect of breaking even and the list is endless.

Hasta La Vista baby.

[Picture Source: Waiting]

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ADDICTION

I have been battling some queer addictions which I have always wanted to do away with in order to move on to the next stage of the after effects. And there is nothing as tempting as trying to do that which you have always wanted to eschew completely and ensure that it goes to the dogs without ever coming back again. There is an extra precipitous pull that wants you to engage in the urge because of cues that work towards strengthening it. Just visualizing can “light up” a wont and it’s worse when you have to do it in isolation.

It has been a cool four years trying to ensure I go for three weeks without swinging back to my addiction. Some nerd called it 21 days of breaking a habit. While it may be easy starting off the process of breaking an addiction, the consistency bit is what is usually very hard to execute and stick to the guns. There is this notion of “I have got to have this thing; this is what I need right now” that spirals intermittently while also having this thought distortions, “Remember where you got your fix last time. Go there to get it.”

If my memory serves me right, it all started a while back when I was lolling in the digs where I had access to free internet and nothing other than writing to do and the trappings of power that comes with being a lone ranger. Then this blog was conceptualized because I had always wanted an avenue to express myself to the world about that which surrounds me.

Orange network it was, and with my small 3” Samsung phone which I wrote about here, I got hooked up. I remember subscribing to some unlimited bundles where I could download all the stuff that I could put my mind in. And the truth is that an idle mind is the devils workshop. Truth be told, I started exploring into the wild. It’s worse when you think no one is watching, because you go to such depths that are quite unfathomable. Given the reverence chaps bestow on yours truly and that they think I am straight and upright but deep down into stuff that you would be shaking your head if you think about the person addicted to such stuff.

True, it can be quite tasking to avoid something at the start. After you start the process, having discovered it out of the woods, you want to perfect it so that it carries on immaculately. Afterwards, is the discovery of the fact that you are apprehended to an addiction, when you have been hooked up to the habit already. Given that you are hooked, you hide to engage in it. Say you are a novice smoker, you start by hiding then when it gets to a certain stage, you become an amateur and before you know it, you are a professional who is so hooked to that point where you can even do it without a tad bit of worrying.

So, recently when I completed my three weeks’ dose, I had to big up myself for coming of age with a regimen that I can be able to stick to even though there are times when it was so tempting I felt like resorting back to the indecorous behaviour. Looking back, I have come a long way in breaking bad. Breaking bad? Yes, this wont was like a dictator in my life. With availability of free internet, I only had no other option other that thinking of it every free time I had to loll.

I bet the internal pressure to break this habit contributed immensely towards finding a way or engaging in horrible activity to act as a caveat. There were times I would give myself a penalty while trying to circumvent this billowing trend to be devoid of what I can term as mental sickness, but, guess what, the trend became cyclic. I would withstand the addiction for two weeks then resort back on the first day of the start of the third week or even before. Having forgotten that I had even sentenced myself much to the chagrin of angels of light but to the conceit of a gremlin that wanted to thrive over the angels of light. When you experience surge after surge of dopamine in the brain, there is an unprecedented condensation of dopamine in the brain, the end result is that it becomes intensive and you want more than you had experienced before. There is some kind of shame knowing that you are addicted to that which society has placed a red flag on.

Breaking from overstimulation like I intimated was quite a thing. You feel like a marathoner who has just won a medal for the first time after years and days of trial without victory. Those are the moments you feel like GIFing yourself one of those GIFs where someone is shouting her voice hoarse due to some soothing swoon having seen her team win victoriously. The challenge now lies in creating good to replace the bad old obsession. I guess I have to be humble in my next strategy of going to the next level. I really need to plan for the worst-case scenario now, because due to the heat of the moment, temptation can be pervasive and I may find myself throwing out all the plans I had in the twinkle of an eye.

Critically this habit was draining because of the fact that it interfered with my working and short-term memory, problem-solving ability, common sense, long-term memory, attention, decision making, ability to suppress urges, concentration, focus, and general intelligence. I can personally attest to my lack in motivation, interest, and noticeable declines in my overall intelligence as a result. Which is evident in my work results where I am at the periphery given that there is a gauge on one’s performance. It upsets that it has come this far.

When I am finally able to break free (say like going back to be a tot which never happens), experience clarity, think clearly, and have permanent, colossal boots in memory, intelligence and intellectual aptitude, motivation, decision making and being a free being, I will tell it once again. That I got hooked, struggled with the problem and finally ceased the indulgence. As at now, I am only through with the trial phase of debarring by trying to acclimatize even though the oner will still remain a challenge.

One thing I have come to realize is that there is some kind of beauty and natural satisfaction in having a burning passion for liberty from the corruption of the mind and spirit. I guess the feeling of addiction contributed immensely to the detrimental effect of feeling inadequate and that meant there are times I did reach a dead end and holding it unto myself, I could not move on. This partly contributed to my romantic empathy. Ideally, I had thought of myself as a real romantic. The kind that most women would die to have or fight for. Yet this has been the opposite. I looked at the mirror and realized am aging and wrinkled with cracked lips full of chielitis. However, there is this girl who has never got out of my mind. I have even thought that she dumped me, though she has not. Yet she knows that I belong to her. Aint that not so sweet that a lady thinks of you so much yet the bachelor in you is struggling with financial turmoil and petty phobia.

In spite of all that, she is like an addiction. I sometimes miss her so much that I feel like I don’t want her anymore. In the end the bitter becomes sweet. Like it’s now sometime ever since we last talked. I have been lying to myself that I will one day leave her for good but that has become so hard a challenge to achieve. I no longer even know those ballads that I can tell her to listen to because she wows me more than I know. I also became sloppy and indifferent to her. But her voice is serenading and pacifying. The kind of lady who I will one day probably handcuff with those small 24k magic inshallah.

Back to basics, when I said NO to the urge after the struggle I really felt good. I did not feel disappointed like I have before. Nor did I feel ashamed, or had feelings of self-hatred or filth. Reminds me that I should at least try to write that girl a romantic message, just to enliven our sensational camaraderie.

As the struggle continues, there is hope at the end of the tunnel, to be free from bondage, enjoy the intimacy of normalcy, regain confidence and be proud that I am that person who has gone through nature’s turbulence as a result of my own making and come out a victor though that journey has just started. My only prayer now is that the Almighty won’t let me go down the abyss that I have come from. The answer to this petition has just to be a stunning YES. His passion endures forever.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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DEEP END

Sweet memories are usually momentary and wane faster than you think they would last. I heard a very sweet message. Everyone has a somewhere where they go in every stage in life. The unlucky ones succumb because life is what Charles Darwin told us about, ‘struggling to survive and survival of the fittest’. Albeit, we all want to go to a place (we usually dream of ritzy sanctuaries until that time when it becomes idealistic). When you finish nursery, primary or high school, there are those who never proceed to the next stage. At the end of the day they have to go somewhere. It takes courage and action to swiftly adjust and start the process of accepting destiny. Luckily, such chaps probably fiddled with the conundrum that menaced and are comfortable.

The process of adjusting in life is quite simple and complicated at the same time. Obviously, for some it can be so complicated that they give up altogether. They take so much time struggling to move to the next stage but they never do that.

I have been struggling with my work for a considerable amount of time. It has reached that point where finances have also become an issue. Not that I am not being paid enough for my sustenance, but the reality is that sticking to a rote has become a challenge. Even my gremlins know about this.

Now I am in a den that even though I would love to share it, I retreat and hide. For a start, I am in financial distress. Nothing bores me like being in such a situation. Looking back, this is a deja vu. However, it is different. It is complicated because all the avenues of seeking finances have all been depleted. Yet I had told myself that I would not find myself in this situation again. Damn! This is not only demeaning but also frustrating and mentally blurring. You cannot think straight. And when you do, there is that tempestuous misogyny that keeps you away from them because it’s kind of absurd to be lacking the building blocks of what’s in a man.

Business has been slow on my side. I find it quite piquing to be reporting to work daily only to realize nil returns. Well is that not tantamount to wishy-washy and floppy. Let me explain something. Working with empty pockets is quite enervating. Simply put, you sometimes think about the frustrations you are going through at the altar of performing your chores with passion and determination.

 to be continued

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SHORT DISTANCE TRADERS

It's the rainy season. Right! And there is something I never knew about it. That this is a time of long rains in Kamba land. Well I grew up in the sprawling plateaus in Rift Valley and this is normally a harvest season. That means it is a time for the short rains as opposed to the long rains. I do not know whether the long rains phenomena also apply to the great city that is Nairobi. This weather should be a preserve of the grain basket of the country especially to those areas that serve the county that hosts the capital city with vegetables, grains, cereals and the list is endless.

So, during the week I decided to go on cold calling to prospect for new clients in the corners of the city. It was quite a walk. In the company of colleagues who were also interested in getting new markets for the products that we were selling. Well, it has been months ever since I lastly walked for such a long distance. The only human baseness we committed was to prospect on an already encroached market. 

Walking can be fun at the start. This is because you get to find out many things about the people who you are doing the walking with on the streets. As time progresses, there is something monotonous at this age where automotive has eased the hustle of mobility. What arises in some instances is that it can be very easy to make a decision but to stick to it is another thing. That is how herd mentality destroys that which should never be finished off. Sometimes you need to walk it alone. 

We chose the suburban bliss that is Nairobi even though we come from the what I can describe as the shanty town. Even rap stars are normally from the ghetto and they aspire to rule the music industry with their lyrics in as much as some may never do that. Trekking in this weather is not easy. The setback comes in terms of having shoes that are laced with mud and if you do not have something to wipe them, you are sure to tell where you are from. 

I noticed people in heavy machines, fuel guzzlers staring at us. It was likely to rain and they were sneaking snail-pace due to a jam that had slowed down movement because this area has narrow roads which are not expected to serve many people.

A couple of times I sometimes ask myself why I this suffering. Well, the day I was prospecting, I was in my best suit. Since it had rained the previous days, I could not find what to wear for the day. My pullovers were all wet and so were my other jackets. At some point I was walking in the rain where matatus would come and hoot to find out if we were thinking of boarding.

We were not. What's worse is that I was revolving around the same place. Something about matatus is that they abhor those who deny them revenue. Never mind that they may not know that you are between a rock and a hard place in terms of finances. When a matatu driver sees you walking next to a pool of water next to the road, trust you e the unexpected will happen. Instead of slowing down, they will ensure it splashes so that you are left at limbo.  

Since I knew this tactic, I ensured that I walked on the kerb and very far from those pools of water that were next to the sidewalk. Honestly, there are those times I wished the opposite of my situation was happening to us. Did I want to be among those being chauffeured in those fuel guzzlers as I watched salesmen who were not able to make commissions trek in the cold weather? I know you know the answer.

Once in a while, I mistook the depth of some water on the surface and when I accidentally landed on it, my shoes did let in the sludge. My socks know how it feel. Incidentally, the mud also smeared on my trouser and I looked like a rookie who sell insurance and has been going without commissions for days on end. Never mind that I also sell insurance as among the products that I need to hawk around.

 To be continued.....

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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WALK, TALK AND KNOCK

My friend who studied marketing always tells me there is a huge disconnect between marketing and sales. I am not a guru in either field but a rookie who intends to gain hands on experience from the field of selling. At the end of the process I'll be as anonymous as I am now. What some salespeople out to make quick bucks do is beat about the bush in order to sell and protect their job. A marketer on the other hand in my friends view considers the plight of a customer first. If you go to a customer and realize that he does not understand something, you need to enlighten him or her and if you are not able to qualify the customer for a product, you let him know that there will be an appropriate time in future. Some salespeople on the other hand look at their pockets first. The converse of a marketer is true for such people.

Very few clients ever call to say hi, and when you call, if you are that person who will continually remind the client of the product, trust you me, the call will go answered. And deep down, I also know that I am also that way. If you perpetually prod me with products, trust you me, I know the worse I can do is only to brush you off, or unwillingly buy the product.

“In order to make a sale, you need to walk, knock and talk.” That’s the mantra of my current boss. Well, to some extent he may be right. But the only lesson you learn in sales is that there is no formula for doing it. However, there can be a way of cracking it by lining yourself with experienced gurus in the industry. I hate to say this but the very people who push us to sell these abstract and elusive products are the very people who sometimes do not realize that times have changed and though the monkeys remain the same, the approach of doing it should also change.

While selling, you have to fight the smile that may give away greed, when the client is willing to listen. You will see it in their eyes. There are those who you will see their eyes unsettled as if they want something, then there are those who will give you an ear and a promise. And it is up to you to follow back. Then there are others who you will find playing FIFA on their phones and they will not mind leaving it alone to listen to you.

Sales is a dynamic job. You have to have a smooth tongue and words better than silk because you are selling nothing apart from requiring the client to sign some documents then he will get the result after sometime. Sometimes the job can be too easy, you close a sale because the client wanted the product like yesterday its only that he was not aware of where to find it.

The single best experience you can ever receive in your career is the art of selling, in the event you want to venture out sometime in life to start your own firm. By then you will have realized that human beings are the most slippery beings you can ever deal with. At one time, they are upbeat and cheerful, the next they call to say they are unwilling to take up what you had offered. It’s worse when a client tells you that you should not continue with the processing of a loan or a credit card because they have consulted and realized that they no longer need it or it will realign the status quo.

Practice makes perfect they say. If you speak to ten clients in a day, you will be able to hone your skills in articulating your ideas so that people can buy them. This means that you are on the forefront of closing a deal. When you walk, and knock at different doors, you will also learn how to inspire people. To some buggers, this is innate, to others, it has to be a struggle. If you close a deal, you become more confident and happy. Whether it is an insurance policy you are selling or it is a big loan worth millions of shillings or opening an account that will be funded with millions.

The bottom line of sales is to help those who are in need. I love the way my current sales mentor goes about the business. While I still have that fear of speaking too much because of sudden ambush by coughs, this dude has been in the industry for five years and hence knows how to engage a client. He can really talk. Even when we are not selling, he still tells us stories that we heartily laugh to because he tries to source for such nonsensical sometimes fallacious gen from whatever location he might find. Being ‘glorified hawkers’ he has been able to guide us on who to sell to and who not to engage even though sometimes he can be full off braggadocio. Like selling a loan to a city marshal is illegal because you need to have a license to hawk and in the event you are nabbed by this mullah thirsty buggers, you will be on your own.

Perhaps what is encouraging is that in less than three months he will be able to make more than a million in the event his loans are processed. That process of a loan being ratified as apt is called ‘drawing’.

As a seasoned individual, he has been able to get it right for this long because I realized he knows how to engage a prospective client. He ensures that he speaks gently and comes up with real solutions to existential problems. ‘Mi najua sai huwezi kuwa na project kwa akili lakini pia najua ungetaka kuwa na ploti yenye utajenga masiku za usoni. Unajua tunaweza kukusaidia kupata title deed kama umerelax hapa kwa ofisi ikue tu wewe ni kusign forms baada ya kuonyeshwa mahali ploti iko. Na kupata hio ploti ni loan tunakupatia at 14%.’

As for ladies (those who cannot qualify for loans), after breaking the ice, he will ask whether they have a child. These are individuals he knows are gullible. He will go ahead and tell of stories of successful people who have benefited from education and in the end, he sells an education policy. Anyway, all in all, education still remains the only gem that you can bestow to your child. But I like this chap, Deno, since his tongue cannot fail to utter words that give hope.

I know the ‘sales’ tag conjures up thoughts of pushy people, which in essence has a stigma and hence a bad part of the career. This job needs one to continually develop skills, be highly focused and determined to make it at the end of the day. There is need to invest a good amount of time into continual knowledge growth and development, psychology study, and ongoing self-awareness and improvement.

Sometimes it is the experience you might get from working with a company that might give you the wrong impression of the entire industry. The truth is that there is lots of pressure in sales. You are monitored like a small child if you are not delivering. Believe it or not, an outside sales career can be a lonely job.  With freedom and flexibility from being away from the office, you are out there on your own.  As such, you need a strong sense of accountability and self-motivation to set your own work schedule, since nobody is there looking over your shoulders, you are basically managing yourself.

Your exposure to management is also limited, so career advancement is also a challenge since there are only a few upward career advancement opportunities for field sales people. Even the sentry who man’s the banking hall knows that this is a challenging job and will remind you about it. Your friends who know you are not making good commissions look at the job as if you are struggling with life. But the freedom that comes with doing sales is what makes it very intriguing. You determine your own pay cheque and meet lots of new people.

As at now, I personally don't understand how anyone can be stuck in a cubicle all day or report into an office all the time without feeling the monotony of sedentary life.  I love it when I visit people in their office to find out which are serene, those that do not have air conditioning you wet your forehead so much so that a client may think that you are struggling. There are those you have to gain entry by dialing some numbers and there are those which you would never fancy at all, given that the pay slip of the individual you are meeting is also thin.

Then there are offices that don’t ooze panache and the employees sit in what looks like emaciated desks but when you look at their pay, you regret why you are not among those who are withdrawing salaries from this company.

What I know is that no experience is bad experience. We go through it to ensure we make the best out of it. If only I was fainthearted, I would not have made it past the sixth month. Given that to some extent, I on average find myself mulling over this job deeply and questioning what purpose do I really have here. But the question that begs is, will I make it to earn those six figure commissions?

Hasta La Vista Baby

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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GIKOMBA

The putrid air that characterizes this street is now synced into my respiratory organs which was in a pathetic state barely a few months ago. The pollution wraps itself around my body like the second skin I neither want nor need. The air has a rotten, dirty quality everywhere a person can think to go. It smells of sewage and washed up dirt. There is filth in every particle of the pollution; a product of our own greed and societal pyramid. This is a perfect example of neglect which can easily cause climate change because the toxins are quite evident and if not used to, can sting the eye. Indeed, on this streets we have given up the fight against pollution.

The cracked sidewalk on your way to Gikomba from OTC is like the jagged gap-toothed grin of a certain old junkie I am forgetting about though I can reminisce his visage but the figure is quite blurry and looks like a mirage. Though the road is supposed to be a dual one way, so many hawkers cheek by jowl, so many squirming lives that line one side of the dual way. At intervals are the concrete street-lamps, once coated in glossy silver colours, now dappled with grey chips of grime. The road is a monochrome patchwork, lined with a tedious boarder of tar. Despite some shoddy fixes by the county government or any other road body, the road leading there is in cracks and the potholes grow larger with each passing hour.

Oh! I simply consulted Google and realized that the initial OTC stands for ‘Overseas Trading Company’ and not ‘on the cool’ or ‘over the counter’ as I had speculated. These streets are capriciously cruel. Hordes of humanity strut laboriously in order to go eke for a living amid disillusion which is evident in their visage.  All they can do is hustle hard though there are some who are becoming distressed and will exit the scene sooner than they expected.

In the morning as I normally trot to my duty station, there are these tramps who sleep on the footpath who have been addled and ignored at best. They sleep in grunge filled sacks and their mouths are usually laced with saliva while some have their teeth exposed, which are tarred due to drug use. They sleep on the hard tar and people pass as if nothing is wrong. In fact, many of the panhandlers have worked in the same corner every day. Some seek for alms and have become resistant to the fact that there is another life other than the streets. One thing is that you cannot ascertain is whether they ever change clothes amid the ravaging effects of the Nairobian weather.

It’s never good news when you are told that your next destination in terms of designation is the populous Gikomba Market. I felt belittled, unworthy and despondent. How could they decide to lower my stature too low that I am assigned to ply my trade from Gikomba? Indeed, someone had saw it fit that I needed to be stationed in Gikomba. What was the rationale in picking me and not any other person to go support a branch that was struggling and has that name that is synonymous to stuff going for a song? Ideally I find it as a test of faith and spirit. My natural optimism in my new-found home is upbeat. Though it took a toll on me for quite some time, I am still proud to be a salesperson. That’s how flexible one should be. 

There was this colleague who we were assigned to report to this duty station. I had initially wanted to inform him of this ‘good’ news on a shared Whatsapp group but rescinded and texted him instead to personally inform him of his new found home. He said ‘thanks’ which he never meant and till now, he is still stuck in his former station unwilling to secede from the bondage of uptown deluxe. It’s called sticking to lanes.

There is a complete contrast when you arrive at the work station though. The air is cosy and serene. You know the how banks are supposed to be. It does not reek of the sordid aura that characterizes the scene outside. The ambience is delectable and coy. This contrast gives a fortifying demure which relieves the body from the rush hash on your way to the office that is outside. It’ like you have emptied of the latent laden that clogs the air channel.

What I instinctly love about my job is the fact that the camaraderie is quite bountiful and fetching. Like it looked quite unprecedented for a chap like me to accept this demotion in terms of job location. This is because the serene location of our former office is no more. In the few months that I have been working for this bank, I have worked from three different locations. The first had one of a kind intimacy that soothed even though there is lots of pressure in this job. The kind that if you are weak hearted, you only get paid the first few months and the next you are up and about somewhere else.

Then again when you work for an institution and you have not leveraged in such a way that you bring business to it, my friend, you need to accept it. That you are still an employee and it is only hard work that will differentiate you with chaps who are a notch higher on the job pyramid.

Virtually in all organisations, there are usually some politics that drive the business. We deny it but it is the truth. There are those individuals who are like owners of the business. They call the shots and can make or break your career aspiration. When you are in good terms with them, you can easily ascend the career ladder to where you want to be irrespective of the fact that you are not even a performer. Yet at the base of the pyramid the best you can do is think optimistically.

That’s why we cannot deny that be there are sacred cows and ghost workers who receive a salary and you have no idea what their role actually is in the institution. But you sometimes get too engrossed with some other stuff that even thinking of them is never part of your rote.

Anyway.

When it rains in Gich, there is this outlet that floods the road near the bridge that Nairobi River passes under. It is a mixture of a little bit of sewage which makes it kind of greenish. As such, if you do not have gum boots you have to seek for an alternative of gaining access to the other side of the road which is not flooded. It’s a short stretch by the way. Apparently, there is always that thrift guy who modifies a bridge which you have to pay some bucks in order to cross. They use the wooden stand which they normally place their bargain products on to reap from ineffective county government. You have to part with only Ksh.10. in order to make it to the other side. This is enough to take you to Githurai in the morning which is fifteen kilometers away while this is only a stretch of two metres. Plus those guys who charge you for this service never mince their words, you have to badge to their demands because that’s life.

I paid the amount the first time, the second, I had got acquainted to a shortcut where I pass in a very risky ‘panyaroot’. You pass next to some women who prepare all sorts of meals that range from eggs, githeri, omena, beans, meat in the open and the place is not only dingy but can make you lose appetite the first time here because of the conflicting aromas that rent the air. After sometime, you will find yourself among the customers you were wondering how they stomach such environment, to appetize on these meals. This route is inside the periphery of ‘Machakos’ bus station and has very few users as opposed to the road that leads to ‘Gich’ a better slang for Gikomba. Obviously, those slow days of the month, ‘katikati ya mwezi’ b, are quite real for a salesman and any form of cheap chow serves just right, especially if you have not made enough commissions.

By the way, I love the adventure that is being a salesperson. While I do not love the job, the thrill is somehow ecstatic. A couple of times my manager has been asking why I am not able to sell and the response is that I am creating a pipeline. Oh yes! But when chicken shall come the roost, my deeds will have to be laid bear. But in the meantime, let me celebrate the intimacy of working as a salesperson.

I love the affable traits of the salespeople in the surrounding area that is Gikomba. They usually have time to listen to us salespeople. They are not as inimical as some people in government offices who think we are peddlers who are out to dilly dally with their time which some spend on Facebook and others gossip you wonder what you did to deserve this treatment. Spending five to ten minutes with a salesperson is not bad though I understand that they can be quite nagging.

Next to where our branch is, there is this drift that also has a bend leading to another road. Normally, when those cart pushers take on this drift ready to skid to the other road which is slightly elevated, they have to shout from afar, ‘Size, size.’ And mark you they are normally in a speed that in the event they get a person on their way, that human will either be crushed or escape death by a whisker. To survive on this streets, as opposed to the more urbane uptown Nairobi, you really need to be swift and nimble, otherwise, chances are you will be on the receiving end.

But being that guy who loves swag means that I have to look for alternative routes to my place of work. There is this route where you pass next to Haile Selassie and it leads directly to the place where I work though it is quite far. At least, it has no multitudinous individuals who are hustling for the same route in their endeavours to make it to eke.

Initially, I had been forewarned that having a nice watch and phone is a source of insecurity by colleagues who thought that Gich is not a conducive environment. Fortunately, this place has a very high supply of cops who are almost in every corner. Even our branch is manned by two and this really got me nervous the first time since I was fearing for my security. But as time goes by, I have come to appreciate the hustle of all this people in Gikomba. They make more mullahs than we guys who work in the bank as salespeople given that they handle cash on a daily basis.

There is only one problem that does not auger well with some clients who consider Gich a crime prone location full of vagabonds and hobos. Convincing such clients is normally tasking for stories I have heard but that does not break my heart. We meet all sort of people in our day to day work. So it does not matter what that person thinks, at some point, we own up our fear by facing it.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

 [Picture source: Google Images]

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TIMED ARITHMETIC

Monday blues happened to me in full swing. Soon after, I met her. She was bold and with a friend. I looked deranged and weary. Like the world had taken a toll on me. Inward, I felt some excessive energy. I needed a punching bag. To vent the hopelessness out with vengeance. I remember telling it to a colleague. He advised that I should vent my anger on the walls. Because we do not have punching bags in our office. 

I met her with a friend. She was looking different. Only that I did not want to tell her so. There is something credulous about some states. They are written all over the visage and even if you try to deny the reality. It is usually show-me as the guilt can be ostentatious. Believe you me, Monday blues can be so stressful, especially if you are paper chasing and results seem negligible.

A friend has consistently been telling me to keep on keeping on and keeping on keeping on will keep me keeping on. He used to be called the deputy principal in the office which has been closed because our bosses feel like we need to change tact and reduce on superfluity because of the rapid changes in the economic scene where things just have to change. And like my good friend intimates, I keep on keeping on because that phrase was from Bob Marley to Peter Tosh. On the contrary, I doubt the legitimacy of the keeping on thing because I have thoroughly gone through Google and I have not found anything of that sort.

Another of my fervent colleagues has also been ceaselessly telling me to look for another job because things are looking oblique. I have refused to badge to his insinuations because I am not ready to start things afresh. Not when I just found a more relaxing job which also offers me that which I need in terms of experience. Jeez! Pardon my use of this interjection. Guess the reason why I will not be moving sooner is because of the ties that bind when you think of it in the first place.

Already those ties are crumbling. Changes have swiftly taken place and it is now up to me to start thinking big and look at the bigger picture of making something out of this which is keeping me static given that I should be mobile

Sometimes the going gets too though you only console yourself that life must move on. You want to be happy things just seem gloomy. And the heat that is usually used in idioms becomes real. 

Since I have to prove myself in this arena no matter what, I will strive to remain steadfast and powerful. 

And on that note I have myself lost of words.

Hasta la vista baby.

[Picture source: Google Images]

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DASHBOARD, AM I SAFE?

While I was a young boy, I loved watching the dashboard and to be precise the speedometer to find out the velocity at which my dad's car was being driven. There was this adrenaline in me that loved speed. I still do even though I never take chances because I know how the police cell looks like and an imminent wreckage or worse still kicking the bucket. On the contrary, when I exclaim my love for speed, there are people who use it as an avenue of thinking that I am psychotic. Jeez, ain't I allowed to have an awkward tendency? Don’t we in a way have personal idiosyncrasies that when others hear they become timorous?

My pater used to be the only lone driver apart from those rare occasions when he would leave the machine under the care of a driving stalwart. Once I asked him if he could participate in a safari rally but he looked noncommittal. He said he could have tried during his hey days as a ferocious and vivacious driver but could not in his current state (then state close to two decades ago). Immediately after completing driving school, he was given a company car and he had to find a way of ensuring he got to his destination even though there were no Google Maps and other aids during those first timers. Still he managed to do that which he was supposed to accomplish.

I recall he was that guy who could not drive past 100kph. That was his mien. Always disciplined, albeit the radar speed guns had not been introduced in the country. However, he rarely belted apart from those rare occasions when he was coming to Nairobi for seminars and other prolix trips that forced him to drive at belted up. These days, he rarely drives. Luckily, the cars being made now forces one to belt up even if you never want because of that nettling sound which implies you need to secure yourself.

When I started driving. I usually loved speed. There was one day my Oldman left me his car as a rookie to horn my skills and the experience was an eye-opener. I had tried driving at a speed so fast I almost veered off the murram road. Yes, you can when your coordination is still pathetic. Given that it was the ‘car in front of you’ it was wobbling and my postural stability was not wont. And it was not that fast looking at it now. I was doing 50 mph, the recommended speed for all automobiles.

It's almost a decade ever since I knew how to spin the wheel. I have however lost my edge in driving ‘manual’ cars. I could not even put one in motion after some hiatus in driving such car because of reasons I may attest to the adage that you need to learn, forget, and then relearn. And it should be a continuous process lest I forget again because I am the kind of bugger who needs to learn for quite some time before I get my act right. Think of 'Outliers' by Malcolm Gladwell only that in this context, I will not be aiming at turning into a star. Pole Musa.

The stage is now set. Methinks we have a very lousy system that prepares us for contentment and waiting for life to take its own course. That's our kismet and Rubicon. Once we reach a certain milestone, there is no verve to push harder. Yet others never tire even after reaching self-actualization status, they struggle to be immortal. So that they will be remembered eons after living planet earth for outstanding contribution to humanity like the famous Microsoft founder, Bill Gates though he does not wow me that much.

I remember as a student, I used to be told to work hard because hard work pays. While that may seem archaic, in some professions, it is a reality. If you don't go past the usual that you need to do, then, chances are you will be phased out faster than you know it. Hard work combined with wit makes one able to outdo that which they have initially found too complex to achieve. I am experiencing déjà vu.

While in school, we were told to work hard for a better life, ideally, that also applies to everyday work.  Then again, it depends on the type of work you do. However, there are cases of some individùals who I can term as outliers. Those individuals who in some way outdo the system it looks like they were made out of some special substance that we the typical beings struggle with. They are geniuses, and for some reason, these individuals should be widely spaced from the next. Just like failures should be very few. That's what the normalcy curve constitutes. We have very few at the apex, majority at the middle and a small chunk at the lower stratum. That's life for you. And I tell you for free. I am not afraid to say I am among those in the belly of the normal curve. I really want to eschew this, like yesterday.

In Swahili there is a saying that, ‘Mwenzako akinyolewa, tia chako kichwa maji.’ I read the dailies and saw an article that demonstrates the reality within the banking industry. It is the sack. As long as you do not own the job, you are subject to be fired. Even Steve Jobs was chased out of the company he helped found. Consequently, there is a certain bottom tier bank which was forced to relieve its non-performing employees due to streamlining of the banking industry. Its reason for reduction was to be in line with the industry and to prepare to be a tier-two bank. Which pertubs me because when you want to move to the next stage, you need to do the opposite of what they were doing. Forgive my shallow reasoning though. Never mind that I have not read the Banking (Amendment) Act that will surely lead to even more bread winners going home.

It’s already happening, but subtly. Doing it enmass will attract media attention and that means the banks will have to lose out. There is a possibility of shares plummeting further as more branches will be merged, staff reduced in the process and more importantly, loss of income. Already, I have seen this happen. My job description has changed, there are those who were well prepared. They did smell the rat before us who are still sleeping on the job as they have sought greener pasture. I have no idea where they have gone to. Chances are the destination is cosier.

There is this scale which measures how good or bad you are performing in terms of bringing in new customers. It’s called a dashboard. The human resource department has programmers who have designed it to given those if statements and instructions to identify those who are only enjoying doing nothing. For those who are doing well, they never have to worry much. The only problem is that it slices those who don’t work hard. I am a culprit. One day it will chop me off if I do not pull up my socks. Countless times I have been urged to apply for a new job. When I think of starting all over again, I usually let that go. Plus experience has taught me that there it's not easy getting another job.

Even deciding to write does not come easy. You need to pick yourself up in order to write the first few words. Diction also comes into play. What I usually tell myself is that in the event I will be forced to leave my current designation, if it is because of non-performance, I will only take up a new role in that which I would love to do for the rest of my life-investments. Writing is just a hobby I never take seriously anymore. That I have plagiarized a lot of other peoples’ works is not a lie.

You see, I had applied for another designation given that our positions were no longer tenable. It was going to be slightly more luxurious that this one which involves going to the field a lot. You sit the and call and once a customer agrees to your proposal, you approach another. It’s completely different form this one where I have to seek, get shamed, frustrated and sometimes go empty handed. Why did I fail in securing something I thought was kind of better, it all boils down to performance.

There is this person who has been employed to monitor my performance. I think I have a love hate relationship with him. Truth is, I also think I am on a sojourn. If I was to advice a person about sales, I would say that it’s the kind of job a person does for one month and if he is not steadfast enough, once the first salary is paid, you will never see that person again. Others report and when they are told to go to the field, they never turn up for the rest of their lives.  I have survived even though I am taking the bank at a loss. I have reached that position where I am so reliant on the meagre retainer I receive at the end of the month that my thought process is kind of obtuse. It’s because I hate applying for jobs. It’s usually discouraging. At least clients respond, but jobs never.

Since a sales job is not usually permanent, those that excel in it know malleate themselves to be top performers even if they have been served with a termination or eviction notice. Like I have severally intimated, those who break even do so and they reap very big. And in being line with the what nature is, these individuals are few. Majority just ensure they will not be sacked by delivering just the desired results. One day, you wake up and find that your services will no longer be required. It's that simple. As opposed to other jobs where you only need to be seen to have reported in the morning, done something positive  and exit in the evening, it's a different story in sales. If a week goes without you getting a client. Then you are in deep shit. Worse is when it grows into a month. No one cares that you could have been having financial issues, low moments or lack of motivation because you have to apparently motivate yourself. 

And you know what, over the period I have developed a criminal mind. Criminal mentality dictates that one becomes devoid of feeling even though deep down I know that I am this altruistic dude who will go nowhere with such tenets. Criminals expect to prevail in any endeavor. Do I expect to? Yes by all means I need to. I know of guys who spend half a day at work then the rest they engage in activities that they know best.

While this job offers me what I can say is experience, I sometimes usually feel like I am not contributing to the betterment of growing the potential of the organization. That’s why this criminal mentality is sometimes helping. But this also boils down to the fact that when you see your boss looking like they are doing nothing, you also develop the same kind of complacency. Yet you are supposed not to compare yourself with another person but to work on making yourself better.

PS: It's funny that I had to stand in as a witness to a colleague who looks like he will go missing for sometime given that his Whatsapp profile has gone under. I looked at what he was being charged and felt like we really need to reign in on Shylocks. In one month he was supposed to pay up to 25% of the amount he had borrowed. I only did stand in as a witness because in the event this bugger eschews paying his dues, they will be on my neck. Am I even worried? Not in any way. Whether it will be a harrowing experience, only God knows. So I will just have to chalk it up. After all, experience is the father of wisdom. I just had to be positive. 


Hasta La Vista Baby.


[Picture Source: Google Images]

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