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Well, you are probably looking for
the wrong job if you still have not yet found a job. A dream job should find
you being averagely paid, on peanuts or in an equal status. I have vowed
not to immerse myself again in sales. It is something that is personal, yet not
such a convincing reason.
Here is why, I am not the
multitasking kind of bugger. It seems that I thrive well when I specialize.
It's interesting to note that I however love being in the sales fraternity as a
blogger. You always have something on your sleeves to write about. Whether it
is chasing after pretty ladies you bump into while in the course of duty,
frustrating customers you call for ages only for them to disappoint you, easy
to sign clients and the pressure to sign new customers .
It is while looking for new customers that I met a certain lady
who sells me counterfeit fragrances in downtown Nairobi. I immediately got
smitten by her bootylious figure. A lady I admire more for her figure than her
prettiness. But when I got close, you can imagine what happened. Or is it that
when I started talking to her, the verve to pursue her just plummeted. Maybe it
will result in in a J curve kind of intimacy if my pursuit of the main chic
does not yield.
Ideally, she was the kind of lady
I can do anything to get. Yet, she is not the one I would love to spend the
rest of my life with. The one you want to be seen with because men would ogle
and wish they were you. She is the kind I would love to be really good friends
with. I already know who I want to handcuff with the hardest substance if
mullahs come through. As for this ester lady, I will probably get to take her
for a date one of this fine days once my repertoire with her solidifies, or
gets to the next level. So, you see, sales is after all, a very
promising job.
During the week, I attended an
impromptu interview. You have no appointment, but because you are
adventurous, you give it a shot having gone with a buddy. A friend who
nudges you to pursue a venture even though you are lame duck about the future
of the organization.
I
once read an article or is it an oped by a certain job seeker. The bugger for
lack of a better word intimated how he was able to nail the job that was
initially meant for a pal he had accompanied to an interview. Actually, he had
prepared for the job given that he had read widely about the company they were
going to. He did regret somehow because in the end he lost on one end and
gained on another. He lost the friend. He gained the job. Chances are this
article was written by a lady. Rarely do men catch feelings when you slice them
a job because they know that you will eventually come of aid. That’s an
assumption that needs null and alternative hypothesis to be carried out to at
least come up with an economic conclusion on this matter even though its more
social than economic.
I
was destined to go to study that day but I was not feeling the vibe (ni ile wakati masomo haiingii). My head
was full and I just felt I needed to do something different other than going to
study. I hence decided to accompany a colleague to an interview in the city even
though I had not even been called for it. Hizi ni zile mi huita interview kienyeji. You
are only required to show up and since it is a sales job, you sure can get it
just like that.
You
see, in many interviews, you must find out details on what the company does,
and that can be found online due to internet where you can easily upload
information on the company whereabouts. Reminds me of a certain real estate, Simple Homes, a Special Purpose Vehicle that fleeced gullible Kenyans of hard earned shekels. In this case, there was none, just a
brochure we were provided with while waiting to be interviewed. In the waiting room,
we found ourselves only dudes inside. Now I wish I had recorded the
conversation we had with the guys in that room.
There
was only one guy in a suit. A rather beat up suit that looked like he is truly
struggling. To make ends meet because the sheen on it was not palatable. You
know you are dealing with hustlers when the conversation degenerates to how
guys have been conned and how crafty conmen incorporate these fictitious
companies they use to swindle Kenyans without much notice.
There
was this guy who told me of how he once sold jiko okoa carrying three of them
going door to door selling it to women at a price relatively high in comparison
to the normal jiko. I only wondered how he could carry the load, still be able
to seductively sell the benefits and close a sale without even getting a
retainer. Given he was in casual wear, I did understand his plight. He had even
plied his trade with Delmonte and am here cursing myself for being a bank
salesperson. He could sell a jiko at 4 thousand, then be given 200 for his
troubles. When shit came to shove, after being trusted with the products, he
took five. What happened next is that he changed his phone number. After
selling the stuff at throw away price and playing cat and mouse games with the
landlord seeing him in branded shirts yet he could not afford to pay rent.
I
still think my current employer is among the best that I have ever worked for.
Yet, when I ideally look at what I was taking myself to, I was kind of jittery.
When you find yourselves in a room and all of you have no idea about the
company that you are being interviewed for, then you have to be alarmed. I was
not. Since I was feeling like going for a short call, I decided to go ask for
the place. Apparently, this office has more modern facilities than our current
office, a colonial relic that was first opened more than half a century ago.
The
first thing the sentry told me was the acts of a certain lady and a guy who
took the opportunity to go and engage in the devil’s dance having found a good
opportunity to unleash the tension within. I laughed kimoyo moyo knowing full well that the location of the two sexes
toilets was a contributing factor given that most youth are in the experimental
stage where raging hormones make them want to engage in dare acts to quench their
thirst for commerce.
I
was assigned a number. Everyone else in the room was. It was presumed that we
had all been invited.
What
prompted my decision to go for an impromptu interview? I had been in the office
having lost form and deliberating on where to go next in terms of selling. When
you have no appointment in the field of sales, you need to strategize quickly.
So, I called my colleague who told me to meet him so that we could go and
prospect in companies that may open doors later in our quest for figures.
Apparently, I hate this idea of being asked for figures why lie.
I
found him at our usual meeting point and he looked noncommittal on where we
could decide to go. Then he showed me an SMS he had been sent to go for an
interview just next door. Initially, I had speculated that the organization was
in network marketing. The message had been structured in such a way that I thought
it was an organization dealing with investing then invite and the cycle
continues.
Apparently,
it is a startup. The interview office looked quite good. It was like those
things you consider to be too good to be true. When I looked on the door, it
was written Space International. I bet this was hired space if am not wrong. We
had looked for the building without much notice yet it was just where we were.
When
it was my turn to be interviewed, I felt some little bit of guilt. I had
stomach spiders but not the lethal ones. It was going to be like gate crushing.
One thing I noticed was that the interviewers did not have any shortlist of
individuals they had in mind for the interview. There were two gentlemen and a
lady. I tried peeping at what the lady was writing but she looked like she was
not at all in the mood. Actually, she was lost. What she had written was not
convincing enough. Her attire and shoes made me judge her, which I am not
supposed to. You see, she was in rubbers and some cheap top that made me feel
like I was lost.
The
gentleman who was in charge of the interview was also in a broken suit that
seemed it had been procured from Gich. That’s probably how startup are. The
night before I had listened to how a certain guy grew his start up and thought
this was just what I had listened to.
I
won’t delve into the questions that they asked in detail. I have even forgot
some. But the pay and the quantity of effort you put to me does not add up. In
short, even if I will be called to take up the job, I have already developed
cold feet. Apparently, getting a sales job should be among the hardest but this
looked so easy.
I
was in again for the adventure now I have a blog post.
Hasta
la vista baby.
[Picture Source: Pixabay]
