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Someone told me I am one of the few people outside here who don't
give a fuck. Sadly, I just had to use the f word because somehow its true I
don't. Talk of being nonchalant. I also occasionally smile at nothing in particular since there is nothing to
smile about and will be sacked even before I know it (It’s like I have just
been conditioned to wait for this). As a successful salesman in making no
tangible progress, I have been reading about this thing sales and well, it does
not matter whether you are in Nairobi or New York. The human being you are
dealing with remains the same. They are a breed of individuals who need a lot
of convincing and tact to deal with, sometimes lacing the content of your
conversation with a fib just to ensure they buy the product you are selling
because humans like being persuaded to give in (don’t politicians lie they will make our
lives better but once they assume office the opposite is what happens?).
It
has been a journey of a thousand miles, I bumped into some sales memes and some
of the memes do actually relate to what I have gone through as a sales person
from Spiro.
The
first one reads, ‘You’re incredibly
excited when you start a new sales job.’ I remember the first days at work
after training, I usually wore my bespoke suits to work, I was well shaved and groomed, ready to
hit the road in search for new clients. I was in it for making money and
getting new experiences. I remember we were located on a vast sales floor and some
individuals later confessed they thought I was a manager who was coming to
communicate something new only to be disappointed that I was only a
salesperson. Jeez, those were moments of glory when I was first introduced to
the sales team. Later, the sales team is no more. Rapid economic changes have
really contributed in dismantling the team and now it has come to nought in
some spheres of productivity because numbers have been plummeting due to some
reason I cannot explain because someone somewhere was selfish and thought
inert.
The second meme reads ‘And
you’re likely to feel a bit overwhelmed.’ The first thing that made me feel
a little bit of disillusionment was the figures on the whiteboard of those I
was going to work with. Damn, I looked at them and felt like it was not an easy
score on this street. It takes time to make it. If those who I was look up to
were not making it in the industry, how sure was I that I was going to do the
same. The eggs that had been hatched in terms of zero submissions was not
motivating, I said I can and will, but something was never making me excited as
I should have been. Let me say that I took up the role because I wanted it to
catapult me to what I wanted, to join the investment arm once I had worked and
proved myself. You can now imagine that I still harbor the dream but the thing
sales has made me feel disheveled and reluctant in even trying to pursue the end goal.
The third meme goes like, ‘But
you’ll quickly get into the swing of things.’ It’s true, it’s like joining
high school but this is also a banal lie. There are those who cannot withstand the heat
and leave within a week, others within hours, but majority stay because when
you have no alternative, you just must stay. There are those who encourage that
things will be better over time once you have learnt you market. I was
adjusting to my new role as a credit card sales person, then suddenly it was disbanded.
I was then handed over to a new department and before I knew it, CFA pressure
was also beckoning. Now, I don’t know whether it is figures I will chase or concentrate on the grasp of curriculum content. That’s why sometimes I find myself smiling as opposed to feeling the
heat of the moment. Whichever of the two that counts at the end of the day is still a mystery
but the truth is that I love what makes me feel smart. I rarely have no time to joke
around with my colleagues though. Yes, we have to call bad leads that someone
thought because we are not delivering. The management says the sales team is
responsible for 70% of the sales. A gimmick I think of to encourage us to sell. Yet we are the guys who shoulder the yelling
from both management and customers. If you are not delivering, the manager will
be on your neck, if you are, customers will be on your neck. But when we close
deals, we are happy because the commission slip is fat.
Making mistakes is part of the process, even the most accomplished
salesperson makes mistakes. You may take a client’s payslip and calculate a
figure that is promising only for the finance or HR department to inform the
bank’s compliance department that the customer qualifies for less. Do you go back to the
customer to have the documents changed because the figure you initially quoted
has been reduced? That’s where the creativity of a salesperson comes in. But
let you not be on the wrong side with the compliance officer, they can ruin you
if you give them a hard day because you should stick to their whims. I know of
a situation a salesperson was reported to a boss because of acting big headed
after doing something that is uncouth. Let me confess that we have some really
next to accurate individuals who can give justice to a customer’s signature
because well, you don’t want to continue disturbing the customer when he or she
thinks he is only waiting for the product while the mistake is on your side,
right.
Sales is about now; the past is just that. You need to be really
on the move. Your last month’s sales are as good as your primary or secondary
school results. They don’t count in any way. I know of an individual who was
the best in the country the first month I became a salesperson. Now we are both
being put under tight surveillance because we have not been delivering those
results. Well, it’s just the end of the first business Quatre and probably, he
will improve as well as I. So, as much as you may be the best now, inaweza
kauka you wonder what has gone wrong. Never mind the bugger who once was a top performer talk
refused to be promoted given that he was raking in enough bucks to sustain a
five-star lifestyle of dining with the who’s back then when the bank was still
under good times. The problem now is that the promotion system has been skewed and it does not give precedence to salesmen.
Obviously, there are some things that we sales people must keep
mum about. Like we are jealous of that person who is making good money, we
never tell the clients the truth about some costs, we assume they know. We sell
because we are in the business of selling and that is the role we have as per
now. We fear our bosses when we are under-performing and this is one of the jobs
where you become your own manager and determine your own pay. There are some
dirt like being over reliant on credit because your pay is a not surety and reliably
constant. At the end of the day, tea is plenty in the kitchen, you caffeinate with it to forget your worries. The ideology of ruminating to churn over emotional upsets is also a reality.
When you are having a sales slump and then suddenly you make even
a small closed sale, you get this elation that is exemplary. While a normal
person has no much metrics to be gauged on at the end of the month, a
salesperson must contend with year to date statistics that pile every now and
then. That HR guy does not care for your past. He will release the dashboard
and I have confirmed that there is no three conservative months you will find a
sole salesperson on the top of the board. This is the only field that humbles
even the best of the best. Markets crumble, companies get blacklisted,
individuals get low credit scores and well, company policies also change, so does the economy and laws of the land.
The tenth meme says that ‘You’ll
have a lot of ups and downs, but not much in between.’ You have had so much
on the downs. The only thing that makes you love what you am doing is that the
culture of the institution makes you feel energetic once in a while. However, there are more
situations where you feel rock bottom, pessimistic and don’t feel like you’ll
ever close another deal as a rookie as opposed to feeling like you are on top of the
world, confident, friendly, energetic and successful. This can be made worse when you have no pipeline and rely on fate
in making inroads in a field that can be truly discouraging.
Well, as opposed to other professions, the hours of a
salesperson can be really really long. You don’t forget about work just like
that. And that is the real bone of contention on my side, I have two pressure
points that have even made me lose appetite for food. I am svelte than I started, look kind of haggard and feel ish ish. I sleep very few hours. It's called, hustle sweetheart.
I have no idea why the tax man loves to ‘nyanyasa’ a salesperson.
Irrespective of the much you make, you will be taxed at a constant rate. The
commissions are never taxed like the normal pay. So in whatever circumstance, the
much you can make can never be enough. If you think you have made this much,
you deduct taxes and well, it’s not as rosy as it is said. But the best thing
about an open cheque is you can earn more if you just have the best pipeline.
The truth is, ‘You’ll have
to push through some obstacles when prospecting.’ One day you wake up
having done the actual prospecting that you will come and close the deal. Then
on the day when you are supposed to sign up, the client turns into a politician
and changes mind. Does he know that you are not paid to report activity and you
use your own money to go and see him. That’s why sometimes you must fabricate to bring in numbers. When
they come to realize it, they start screaming when the deal turns soar. But
it’s sometimes the management that puts union-less salespeople under pressure.
There are those old guys who you are sure don’t qualify for something but they
will keep you in a conversation for hours only to out-pour their frustrations
yet they are a high risk lot of individuals. How can you lend to a person who
the holy book refers to as living on borrowed time having reached the mandatory
bible age? Let me not talk about wrong numbers, the not interested individuals,
the guys who never pick, the out of service phone numbers and those who rant
like this lady with a jaka tone accent who told me, ‘Ei ni mapema sana, bado
hata sijakunywa chai.’ Those are the kind of objections that make you really
realize that you have a thick skin. Let me not talk of those who abuse you over
the phone.
Sales veterans are some of the most selfish individuals you can
come across. Even sales managers are. They make really good sales but will talk about the
month they never made a sale because the company they were selling in became
blacklisted suddenly. But, if you get a good one who is not afraid to advise,
they make some of the best mentors in a field that can be quite a challenge.
There are those times when you try to remember a customer’s name
but can’t. What do you do? Well, the first thing a salesperson should do is to
remember the name of the client. I however hate it when a customer keeps you
waiting just because they think being a customer makes them king. I was told to
deal with them the way a doctor deals with a patient. Well I am the doctor, you accept the injection or not. However, it’s sometimes frustrating when a customer gives you three different deals that
are better from competitors. You still maintain your cool amid the vexation that you have the best
proposition and sell because that is what you are meant to do.
The whole reason why salespeople are liars is because the customer
is also a liar. Several times the customer will say they are going to call back
only to renege on the promise. When you talked, the person sounded positive and
ready to take the product, but then, the interest wanes. If this is not
stressful enough. The truth is that few salespeople who don’t make it to have
enough backs really have a bubbly visage. Most of us look aged and pretend we
are doing great while in actual sense we are not. Only sales ladies with those who support them look chic, otherwise, most men look burdened for real. Reason why boujee cougar talk sometimes surfaces in our chats.
When you have hit your stride and the sales keep on coming after meting your monthly targets, that
is profitable sales, there is reason to like the job more. Well, this never last
long enough. But hey, when you get money, lazima urudishie mwili shukrani. Pop
champagne, get your grove on and perhaps surprise that someone.
Hasta la vista baby.
[Picture source: my own]
