PUSH HARDER

Someone told me I am one of the few people outside here who don't give a fuck. Sadly, I just had to use the f word because somehow its true I don't. Talk of being nonchalant. I also occasionally smile at nothing in particular since there is nothing to smile about and will be sacked even before I know it (It’s like I have just been conditioned to wait for this). As a successful salesman in making no tangible progress, I have been reading about this thing sales and well, it does not matter whether you are in Nairobi or New York. The human being you are dealing with remains the same. They are a breed of individuals who need a lot of convincing and tact to deal with, sometimes lacing the content of your conversation with a fib just to ensure they buy the product you are selling because humans like being persuaded to give in (don’t politicians lie they will make our lives better but once they assume office the opposite is what happens?).

It has been a journey of a thousand miles, I bumped into some sales memes and some of the memes do actually relate to what I have gone through as a sales person from Spiro.

The first one reads, ‘You’re incredibly excited when you start a new sales job.’ I remember the first days at work after training, I usually wore my bespoke suits to work, I was well shaved and groomed, ready to hit the road in search for new clients. I was in it for making money and getting new experiences. I remember we were located on a vast sales floor and some individuals later confessed they thought I was a manager who was coming to communicate something new only to be disappointed that I was only a salesperson. Jeez, those were moments of glory when I was first introduced to the sales team. Later, the sales team is no more. Rapid economic changes have really contributed in dismantling the team and now it has come to nought in some spheres of productivity because numbers have been plummeting due to some reason I cannot explain because someone somewhere was selfish and thought inert.

The second meme reads ‘And you’re likely to feel a bit overwhelmed.’ The first thing that made me feel a little bit of disillusionment was the figures on the whiteboard of those I was going to work with. Damn, I looked at them and felt like it was not an easy score on this street. It takes time to make it. If those who I was look up to were not making it in the industry, how sure was I that I was going to do the same. The eggs that had been hatched in terms of zero submissions was not motivating, I said I can and will, but something was never making me excited as I should have been. Let me say that I took up the role because I wanted it to catapult me to what I wanted, to join the investment arm once I had worked and proved myself. You can now imagine that I still harbor the dream but the thing sales has made me feel disheveled and reluctant in even trying to pursue the end goal.

The third meme goes like, ‘But you’ll quickly get into the swing of things.’ It’s true, it’s like joining high school but this is also a banal lie. There are those who cannot withstand the heat and leave within a week, others within hours, but majority stay because when you have no alternative, you just must stay. There are those who encourage that things will be better over time once you have learnt you market. I was adjusting to my new role as a credit card sales person, then suddenly it was disbanded. I was then handed over to a new department and before I knew it, CFA pressure was also beckoning. Now, I don’t know whether it is figures I will chase or concentrate on the grasp of curriculum content. That’s why sometimes I find myself smiling as opposed to feeling the heat of the moment. Whichever of the two that counts at the end of the day is still a mystery but the truth is that I love what makes me feel smart. I rarely have no time to joke around with my colleagues though. Yes, we have to call bad leads that someone thought because we are not delivering. The management says the sales team is responsible for 70% of the sales. A gimmick I think of to encourage us to sell. Yet we are the guys who shoulder the yelling from both management and customers. If you are not delivering, the manager will be on your neck, if you are, customers will be on your neck. But when we close deals, we are happy because the commission slip is fat.

Making mistakes is part of the process, even the most accomplished salesperson makes mistakes. You may take a client’s payslip and calculate a figure that is promising only for the finance or HR department to inform the bank’s compliance department that the customer qualifies for less. Do you go back to the customer to have the documents changed because the figure you initially quoted has been reduced? That’s where the creativity of a salesperson comes in. But let you not be on the wrong side with the compliance officer, they can ruin you if you give them a hard day because you should stick to their whims. I know of a situation a salesperson was reported to a boss because of acting big headed after doing something that is uncouth. Let me confess that we have some really next to accurate individuals who can give justice to a customer’s signature because well, you don’t want to continue disturbing the customer when he or she thinks he is only waiting for the product while the mistake is on your side, right.

Sales is about now; the past is just that. You need to be really on the move. Your last month’s sales are as good as your primary or secondary school results. They don’t count in any way. I know of an individual who was the best in the country the first month I became a salesperson. Now we are both being put under tight surveillance because we have not been delivering those results. Well, it’s just the end of the first business Quatre and probably, he will improve as well as I. So, as much as you may be the best now, inaweza kauka you wonder what has gone wrong. Never mind the bugger who once was a top performer talk refused to be promoted given that he was raking in enough bucks to sustain a five-star lifestyle of dining with the who’s back then when the bank was still under good times. The problem now is that the promotion system has been skewed and it does not give precedence to salesmen.

Obviously, there are some things that we sales people must keep mum about. Like we are jealous of that person who is making good money, we never tell the clients the truth about some costs, we assume they know. We sell because we are in the business of selling and that is the role we have as per now. We fear our bosses when we are under-performing and this is one of the jobs where you become your own manager and determine your own pay. There are some dirt like being over reliant on credit because your pay is a not surety and reliably constant. At the end of the day, tea is plenty in the kitchen, you caffeinate with it to forget your worries. The ideology of ruminating to churn over emotional upsets is also a reality.

When you are having a sales slump and then suddenly you make even a small closed sale, you get this elation that is exemplary. While a normal person has no much metrics to be gauged on at the end of the month, a salesperson must contend with year to date statistics that pile every now and then. That HR guy does not care for your past. He will release the dashboard and I have confirmed that there is no three conservative months you will find a sole salesperson on the top of the board. This is the only field that humbles even the best of the best. Markets crumble, companies get blacklisted, individuals get low credit scores and well, company policies also change, so does the economy and laws of the land.

The tenth meme says that ‘You’ll have a lot of ups and downs, but not much in between.’ You have had so much on the downs. The only thing that makes you love what you am doing is that the culture of the institution makes you feel energetic once in a while. However, there are more situations where you feel rock bottom, pessimistic and don’t feel like you’ll ever close another deal as a rookie as opposed to feeling like you are on top of the world, confident, friendly, energetic and successful. This can be made worse when you have no pipeline and rely on fate in making inroads in a field that can be truly discouraging.

Well, as opposed to other professions, the hours of a salesperson can be really really long. You don’t forget about work just like that. And that is the real bone of contention on my side, I have two pressure points that have even made me lose appetite for food. I am svelte than I started, look kind of haggard and feel ish ish. I sleep very few hours. It's called, hustle sweetheart.

I have no idea why the tax man loves to ‘nyanyasa’ a salesperson. Irrespective of the much you make, you will be taxed at a constant rate. The commissions are never taxed like the normal pay. So in whatever circumstance, the much you can make can never be enough. If you think you have made this much, you deduct taxes and well, it’s not as rosy as it is said. But the best thing about an open cheque is you can earn more if you just have the best pipeline.

The truth is, ‘You’ll have to push through some obstacles when prospecting.’ One day you wake up having done the actual prospecting that you will come and close the deal. Then on the day when you are supposed to sign up, the client turns into a politician and changes mind. Does he know that you are not paid to report activity and you use your own money to go and see him. That’s why sometimes you must fabricate to bring in numbers. When they come to realize it, they start screaming when the deal turns soar. But it’s sometimes the management that puts union-less salespeople under pressure. There are those old guys who you are sure don’t qualify for something but they will keep you in a conversation for hours only to out-pour their frustrations yet they are a high risk lot of individuals. How can you lend to a person who the holy book refers to as living on borrowed time having reached the mandatory bible age? Let me not talk about wrong numbers, the not interested individuals, the guys who never pick, the out of service phone numbers and those who rant like this lady with a jaka tone accent who told me, ‘Ei ni mapema sana, bado hata sijakunywa chai.’ Those are the kind of objections that make you really realize that you have a thick skin. Let me not talk of those who abuse you over the phone.

Sales veterans are some of the most selfish individuals you can come across. Even sales managers are. They make really good sales but will talk about the month they never made a sale because the company they were selling in became blacklisted suddenly. But, if you get a good one who is not afraid to advise, they make some of the best mentors in a field that can be quite a challenge.

There are those times when you try to remember a customer’s name but can’t. What do you do? Well, the first thing a salesperson should do is to remember the name of the client. I however hate it when a customer keeps you waiting just because they think being a customer makes them king. I was told to deal with them the way a doctor deals with a patient. Well I am the doctor, you accept the injection or not. However, it’s sometimes frustrating when a customer gives you three different deals that are better from competitors. You still maintain your cool amid the vexation that you have the best proposition and sell because that is what you are meant to do.

The whole reason why salespeople are liars is because the customer is also a liar. Several times the customer will say they are going to call back only to renege on the promise. When you talked, the person sounded positive and ready to take the product, but then, the interest wanes. If this is not stressful enough. The truth is that few salespeople who don’t make it to have enough backs really have a bubbly visage. Most of us look aged and pretend we are doing great while in actual sense we are not. Only sales ladies with those who support them look chic, otherwise, most men look burdened for real. Reason why boujee cougar talk sometimes surfaces in our chats.

When you have hit your stride and the sales keep on coming after meting your monthly targets, that is profitable sales, there is reason to like the job more. Well, this never last long enough. But hey, when you get money, lazima urudishie mwili shukrani. Pop champagne, get your grove on and perhaps surprise that someone.

Hasta la vista baby.

[Picture source: my own]

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NAKED SCARE

It was a week full of legion in terms of making it to see another day and to continue maintaining the job. Like I have written countless number of times, being in this job is a hustle, and sometimes I tend to liken it to a 'kamote' induced bond that is seizing, you want to find your way out but cannot do so because the gods will not judge you fairly, and so like a fledgling zealot, you make it a point being big headed while knowing full well that indeed it has come to naught on your side.

Off all the people, you tail like a bozo, which instinctively you are not given wild goose chase variables. Yet, this is not the field where you force and push. When it does not work out, you have virtually nothing that will rescue you from the brink of being called a jobless bugger once again. It's real. The cheese shifted, we did cling and what's more, there is no more doubt that this was not meant to be if sentiments by fellows who make it are gospel truth. Many have come and gone, these streets are not sympathetic to a moocher. What is happening is that there is nothing more you are expecting other than being laid off.

When you are served with a notice by your boss, ideally, what should be happening is that you should feel some urge to work to uplift it off your shoulders. The truth is, on the contrary, it has failed to inspire action. It has resulted in lethargy; the intent has not taken effect of pushing this soul to the wall. Probably it will ring a bell once you are out of the payroll and no longer expect anything at the end of the month other than knowing that you once worked a salesperson but that never worked to change your destiny. After all I am the egoistic type, if you expect me kukulamba like a politician’s sycophant, the you should come with a promising attitude.

Well, the truth of the matter is that time is what counts. Those who work hard are not the most prosperous and those who put in the least effort are sometimes rewarded by those who work their fingers to the bone to lay better soft landing for those already in the system or yet to come. That's the bitter truth about his pill that I must take. At the end of the day I am going to get the sack, not because of anything but as a result of not being cunning and tactical enough to entice the bait to give in to what you may not believe in but just have to ensure you propagate its acceptance.

Well, it reaches a point in time when you get so annoyed, so despondent and weary that when you try to think there is something better out there that awaits you, you doubt the probability of the result. Why? as a matter of fact, there are roles that humble. Forget about the act of humbling in the sense that you are rich but decide to mortify yourself. The humble one I am talking about is that which you are deprived of a modest lifestyle if you have not been able to deliver. Yet, you find yourself sticking intact hoping that the better tomorrow you have waited for will come to nigh (sic).

The life of a salesperson is bitter-sweet. There are those who love the liberty like yours truly, there are those who are in it for the ease of making cash in plenty and you cannot fail to talk about those queer characters out to dupe customers to make themselves a living. The truth is that few survive the hurdle. In my case, it has been a hell of life that when I look at the bigger picture, I find that I could probably have taken an exit long before the ax came to put me in my right place. Ax the oppressor, am I one? The sword of Damocles hangs over my head. It’s simple, this power has been intoxicating.

Any regrets? Too many, but I have learnt the hard way. I am now more than able to survive given that I have harnessed an income generating project in the name of data entry, another job that has been quite a frustration when you want to work but it’s not coming. It’s those part things you land yourself this time round feeling secure because when pressure will come calling, trust you me, it will not be easy.

Talking of pressure, there was one of this permanent staff who I overheard talking of how she was under pressure from the boss she was willing to go take half pay where she was to be comfortable. And there are many more who are under pressure that if you cannot withstand it like a certain manager who resigned after a meeting with the regional boss. I guess she went and switched off her phone and relaxed from the day to day quest to make the institution that was great to become great again. If those in senior positions feel the heat, then you can imagine a junior cadre organism like me.

Come to think of it, I wish this guys could organize a pressure free day. Like you are free from being asked what you have brought to the table, why is your dashboard not as it is supposed to be and many other things. It should be a day when people can talk, not a case where guys are mum because we have a boss. We should not be having those moments whereby an employee hides just to make sure the boss does not know she is late. Or asking using the mouth if the boss is in. Are we in a realistic version of horrible bosses? Should we be scared or feel guilty? I hate that.

But we have much more greater things and worries that await than those we currently are in. I guess I now know that if it is easy, think twice. If it does not pose a challenge, question the ease and when you are comfortable in life, look back and realize that there is something that was a stumbling block, but you did overcome it.

Hasta la vista baby.

[Picture source: Google Images]

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LUNCH IS A LUXURY

Unlike some employers, mine has given me enough time to settle down but there is only one thing that is keeping me in place. Hope that tomorrow will not be the same like yesterday. Hope that good tidings lay ahead that will come to my advantage. Hope that the hope of holding on should keep on burning with zeal even if pressure is too much. The bottom line is that amid all these, the end result will be more of a laughter.

Virtually, to this point, there is no single role as an employee that is free of pressure. I did chat with one of the sentries at work and he said it was featuring immensely in his day to day endeavours but he remains upbeat even though his main duty is to ensure the premises is under tight surveillance free from ambush by men and women of ill character.

Hitherto, I thought that pressure was tied only to my current job. I was forgetting that there is a sole proprietor who is antsy somewhere out there about the fact that he needs to keep the business running and customers streaming in through versatility, creativity and picking up even when the shards of hope are like an oasis in the desert.

The bottom line is even if you love your work, even if you are indifferent about what you do, if you allow contentment, you will not be feeling the pressure that boils. Meeting targets is not an end to itself, there is something more than that, that drives the human in us to perform. Some people easily meet targets in the workplace but they are not motivated and zealous. They know they have variables to take care at the end of the day, once they have accomplished that which is required of them, they silently feel some form of inadequacy and dejected. They feel used and unappreciated. That’s why they start being rebellious. Yet none notices this. What is worse is when they have no avenue of transcending their status which has not changed a decade down the line because someone feels they should not move to the next stage because of the vital role they play in aiding the business get business.

So many of us are tied in the wrong jobs but the fear of the other world of unemployment make us stick like glue around hoping that if we accrue the necessary experience and have the academic papers to the job we want we will get satisfaction. Wrong! The truth is, a new role does not mean satisfaction, a new role will have its inhibitions and monotony just like the former role. What makes it different is not even the love of it, just a little bit of progress can make one feel like there is something to achieve.

A while ago, a former colleague once told me a fact about some of the people we work with and I underestimated his jibe. Coming to think of it now, I have realized that there is some truth in what he was saying. Most of us do not have those clothes that we can say are admirable. Well, if you meet someone for the first time, the way he or she is adorned speaks volume if you have not heard him utter words that may also be used to gauge his intellectual capacity.

Many of my colleagues are in a school like uniform. And the sheen in the attires does not inspire at all. The old fashioned corporate textures that is reflected in our sense of self. Few look presentable in tailored and fitted clothes that do not expose but add towards making one look glamorous. This inadequacy is not only limited to the not so fashion conscious men in the house, but it is also reflected in ladies and you feel like ‘umechoka’ because we like to associate with people in stylish dress codes. Guess all this has to do with confidence and lack of peer pressure to look good. Someone should look into this because successful people show it first in their attire.

The field of sales is one that is full of jealousy and selfishness. A performing sales guy will never want to tell you the trick of making it in any way. There are times when I have asked for help from those I admire on how to go about the business but the result has not been appealing. All the possible prospects you try to engage suddenly developed cold feet because they have this fear that you may enter their market and turn the tables, which may also not be true. Well, as opposed to school where if you go to someone for help, they do it willingly, in this field of sales, it is different.

Those was assigned to help me out when things were not moving gave empty promises as to why they would not help me out in the quest for making my debut. They remained taciturn when you approach them to be of aid. So, what’s next. Even the manager somehow could not figure out how to do it. It’s that bad when a team cannot be able to deliver. Aint it this acts of selfishness that make us unprogressive?

Looking at the bigger picture, I can be able to piece up this jinx. Rarely do we eat lunch as people working for a reputable institution. Most of us become broke even before the end of the first week of payday. Yet we survive. The number of shylocks who are on our case is just outstanding. Most live beyond their means, and they rarely can account for their income even though some have earned enough in the previous years so much so that if you were witty, you would only have your day job as a supplement to the other income generating activities if you were sane enough to have one.

That I skive lunch does not mean I am doing so out of want, it is because circumstances have pushed me not to have it. And it has also contributed heavily in my anorexia towards eating super. I survive mostly on fruits and maybe tea. Eating ugali is just to heavy for me. Why? After spending the day looking for work while at work, I barely have the strength to consume stuff like that, talk of being tired. Incidentally, I am employed but must look for work to be at work. If I don’t look for that work, I am ineligible and am taking the business at a loss even though the four-digit retainer makes me look vaulted. Again, juggling studies after work especially CFA thing makes it even tough but all in all, I have got used to the tough conditions anyway.

As for those who eat lunch which is a luxury ever since I became an employee, my bet is that you are doing well. If I were to incorporate that meal in my budget, trust you me, I would barely make it to work in the fourth or third week of the month. Yet, I still want to date, look chic, and be seem that I work as opposed to being idle.

Hasta La Vista Baby

[Picture Source: Pixabay]

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THE PRACTICAL LIFE ASPECT

If you have never done something, it is usually quite tricky to start forming a habit out of it out of the woods. It is either you don’t know about its existence or you may like to be taught to be able to execute the act. There is a reason why we act in each way, it may be out of happiness, the way we were brought up, the lessons we pick up in life but most of all, it should do with the acclimatization process. Life can be very complicated but easy at times.

Sometimes I wish I could have a side chic, the one I would be able to turn to when the main chic has issues with me. The truth is, some character traits are quite perplexing you wonder where they originated from. I hate to say this but having a bae who has been through bad experiences before is not something rosy or a walk in the park. I know the experience because the comparison is usually with the person who brought strife or made it hard so much so that adjusting or shedding the feeling takes time years after it.

It is at a such time that I feel that I should have taken a break. I wish I could spend more time with those who care about me. However, there comes a time when even those who care about you are not the people who matter until that time when you are surely down. Of late, I have been going through some emotional strife. I am not sure whether it is linked to studies, or some inexplicable crisis. Maybe I should change my strategy.

When you lack words to describe a strong feeling, that’s the point you know you surely need to do something about it. Else it will fade and you will be left in a limbo nursing the pains or having painful rues.


In the course of duty, I met a former campus buddy who did arts draped in red overalls at unlikely location near Lenana road. I hardly thought I would meet him there but as fate would have it, he was now an automotive beautification engineer, which roughly translates to a car wash attendant. Upon seeing me, he noticed I had recognized him and since we did not have a close relationship, I let him do his thing as I went on with my colleague in engaging in what I am supposed to do but which I hate to love, hawking bank products by going on cold calling missions when I don't have clients. 


Then I remembered about the guy, we used to go to rave together as a fresher back in campus. He used to have this flair for being that it guy when we were out for raves. I admired him sometimes, only that there are those buggers who you may try as much as possible to socialize with but there is that ka thing keeps you a safe distance apart. What I like is that he is gainfully employed. Maybe more happy and loving what he does than I am. Well in the eyes of the society he looks like a failure who stooped so low but in reality, he is contributing to the nations cake through his small contribution as a beautification engineer.


Rumour had it that there was a time he was once apprehended for being in bulk supply of weed within the hostels which he supplied to all  those who partook of it with abandon. Luckily, he was released after a few days and I being not the nark type decided not to probe further to verify the truth of the allegation.


I remember telling my colleague that it is those guys who struggle in life that easily make it to become rich blokes and lasses we admire. They made all the silly decisions faster and became adept at what they do so much so that they never want to go back to the chains of penury. We were in a serene neighborhood. The one which has guzzlers and sleek machines and the air is free of dust and also green. My colleague was applying for a new job where we also found other colleagues doing the same. I hate to say this but I would not like to engage in another sales job in the near future especially if it pertains to hitting the road on a clueless mission. That is probably the reason why I never applied for the job given that it was also a single post that I had qualified for out of more than 24 others which were mostly semi-skilled roles that require hands on skills.


Plus, my time is almost up in the bank. When I look at the far that I have  come, the pitfalls, the ups and the other aspects of life, I feel like calling it a day. The truth is that I wanted an experience, I wanted to be engaged in something constructive, I wanted to meet new people and most of all, I need to be called an employed fellow. On the contrary, I have been a bloke who is perpetually broke I wonder what brought this cup unto me. Yet I have come from far and thank the Almighty that he never let me down in the fight. I think the race continues. It's even bound to be more challenging ahead. 


I am not sure what is in store for me in the nigh life. Whether it will relegate me to humbleness or obscurity or it will be a bliss, provided that I have my hands to pen down those moments that matter most, I will not regret about it. After all, every dog has its day. That big break that is elusive will one day boomerang with blossom into a perpetual day in day out reality. And on that note in Arnold Schwarzenegger's fave quote I end it with. 

Hasta  La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: Google Images]

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