RESULTS

The man on the horse sees a city, let's imagine he is living in medieval times. With a horse he will have to undergo a lot of torture before he arrives at the destination. He will get tired, the horse may develop an attitude or he might confuse his way to the green city assuming it is full of milk and honey. In either way, if he is determined, he will reach his destination safe and sound. 

I am through with the first huddle. Some months back, the real person of this blog character undertook a course in the highly coveted CFA Institute. He even resigned from his job believing it would hamper his chances of passing the exams one off without having to go through the protracted process again. Now the results are out. The dreaded results that made him panic just by the mention of the name results. The heart was constantly beating and he knows of people who have not yet opened their emails to receive their results. He was among the list of 43% of candidates who passed the June 2016 Level I CFA exam. 

Let him now take the first persona to intimate about the joy of passing what is called the Mt. Everest of Finance. He had to sneak from work to go check his results because he had no smart phone or computer on his desk. His manager has both, but he could not request her to open his email and check whether he had passed or not. So he sneaked from the office for ten minutes and went to a cyber cafe to access the results. And luckily, the first email he saw had the word ‘CONGRATULATIONS’, which caught his eye. He then relaxed and mumbled a silent prayer. Here is his version of the story.

There are three instances of anxiety in a fresh CFA level I student if the candidates I interacted with are anything to go by. The first is that of not completing the syllabus in time, the second is that of tackling the exam and the third is the fear of results. There are many others including the lead up time to doing the exam or the time it takes to receive results which is usually exact given the previous record of the past events.

I must say I was never anxious or did ever panic when I was to go to for the exam. As opposed to people who do 300 hours of study, I probably doubled or tripled the minimum time required for the exam. That shows how focused I was in my determination not to fail or how daft I was in not acquiring concepts fast enough to be able to replicate the same on an exam. Luckily, that taught me something very vital, that all you need sometimes is to eat, live and think about one thing and then you will be good to go. I cannot say that I wholly dedicated my time to studies. However, there are certain times I felt like giving up since it was also perilous. You either study or fail to put in enough time to peruse. There is no short cut. As such, during down moments, I would take to blogs or YouTube for the much needed emotional support and determination to conquer the elephant in the house. It is also this process that taught me how to be an early riser. Though I had been an early bird, I lost the sheen sometimes along the way but henceforth, I have been waking up early even when I am not supposed to be doing so. That is the extent the CFA exams takes you.

Many times, I wished I could finish doing all the questions I was given but could not. I would procrastinate with them even though I did about seventy percent of those questions. Some were too easy and while some were just a headache. Fortunately, there was a certain program that used to provide me with those questions even though it was outdated. I used it because I was not chummed enough to buy the current version. Even so I prepared painstakingly. The program I used was called QBank and it had over 3000 questions and mock exams you could be able to do on your own. This is because the syllabus is supposed to be covered based on a personal initiative and self evaluation is the only way to gauge your level of concept acquisition. If you rely on tutors, unless you are sharp, you may only cover up to 20% of what is required of you in each unit. The content is quite wide and that is why on a bare minimum, you need to do 300 hours.

Allow me to narrate a little bit about the exam day. I met my close buddy, Julius who we were studying with and we went for breakfast in a certain restaurant in town because he lived in town. You need to eat before tackling such an exam. He was the guy we used to do revision together, made fun of the ladies in the institution we were in and generally did lots of guy stuff together. On our way after the chow, I met a high school buddy who was nicknamed Major and used the name all the way to campus. We were also together in the drama club and in campus though he went on to study law as I juggled economics and statistics. I introduced him to my pal and wanted to know if he was among the few chaps who were the new millionaires in town given that their firm had recently given out bonus in excess of $100,000 to each employee in the firm. He laughed off at the notion and become cagey about it which implied we needed to discuss on other matters of national importance no, hustler vs proletariat issues.

The usual process of security that has become a norm in Nairobi was carried out on all of us on arrival. We talked about a certain tutor of ours who had shifted base from their firm and he said he used to be a good friend of his. Then the thing of queuing made us lose sight of each other until we were at the exam room where we sat few metres from each other.

When I entered the exam room, some soft music was serenading the air. I don’t remember what music it was but it was relaxing. The venue was KICC at the heart of Nairobi City. It was situated in the Tsavo ballroom to be precise. Hitherto, I had never set foot in KICC. It was my first time. I loved the carpet. The ambience was intellectual and relaxed. I was slowly telling myself, “Don’t panic.” A certain chap had told me that the reason why people fail in exams is because they panic.

I went and sat on the wrong seat, but before I could settle, the owner was on my heels telling me it was assigned to him. I realized that my seat was not in the front but at the back. I was to seat next to a certain Indian guy, in his thirties and very friendly. We talked in English. It’s unnatural for me to talk in English, but if it were a fellow African, I would not have minced my words n starting out in Swahili. But this was an international exam, so you never knew if it was a Rwandan, Tanzanian, Ugandan, Ethiopian or one of the neighboring countries chap seated next to you.

I take time to feel free with strangers, but this guy, let me call him Shah was quite amiable. We talked about so much stuff ranging from where we worked, his view of mock exams and other dude stuff even though he told me he was married and had a master’s degree with another professional paper title under his belt of academic achievements. I was jobless, but said I was working for myself. I was operating this blog and that is work, right?

The exam started and one funny thing about this exam is that you are not supposed to talk about it once it is over. Rationally, it is not easy to recall even twenty percent of the questions that were set. That is the conclusion that we reached once we finished doing the first paper with Shah while discussing about it. Let me confess that what you are required not to do is what you end up doing. Even though we discussed few questions and how to approach them, there is no way we would have delved into everything that was set.

I also noticed a certain chic we were in campus with seated two desks from me. I was like, ‘Today, I will be courageous enough to face my fears and talk to her.’ She was working for one of the big four audit firms which was my dream place to work in but after completing campus but my campus results and time rendered me irrelevant for the job. So I am now a banker, working as a salesman whose job is not guaranteed unless the numbers magic in terms of bringing in sales results work in my favour. If they do not, I will continue finishing my professional paper and writing stuff on my blog. But man never gives up. I will only give up when I find an employer who will offer me the platform I require to progress the skills I earnestly need to propagate. But in the meantime, selling is nice. Though figures do not come that easy.

I never managed to talk to her. Even in the four years we were together in campus, I rarely recall a day we had a chat. She was elusive, and still after the exam she still was. But now, I am sure I will have the courage. Just to ask her how the exam was and probably if she can be my client. Those are wishes, which beggars would ride.

After the exam, we were hosted for dinner in a certain restaurant. We had planned to go for a night out but the buggers I was with were not ale sippers. As a result, I headed to the digs because partying on a solo basis is a no for me. Plus I was exhausted after the exam.

About two months later, the results are out. Unluckily for me, my employer does not recognize professional papers unless your performance is good in the field when you are a rookie who has less than two months in the job. I am still waiting to show my prowess in this new field which is not as mundane as being an office nerd sticking to routine even though it's full of ups and downs. It also helps me with finding new stories and inspiration about my shoes, the inside of the collar of my shirt and the many things I usually pen about when I have no clients and instead of feeling beaten up, I get to do what I also love.

The problem with my job is that is takes anxiety away, you are worried about making the right phone call, ensuring the client gives you an appointment and if he or she does, you end up closing the sale which may also result in the person being your friend and over time, start reading your blog and give you worthy referrals who will give you an appointment and in the long run help you have those numbers and hence you can be living happily ever after when matters monetary are mentioned.

I remember my friend Eugene calling me feeling anxious about the exam results. He did certain quizzes two days before the exam and when he could only manage a mere 20%, he felt devastated. But I told him those were the hardest questions he could have ever done because they were set by examiners who knew that soft spot of candidates given that they normally overlook certain topics while revising. He called me like two times, feeling jittery and how he could not sleep the night before the release of the results. He kept on monitoring his email and as a result, I also started feeling the pressure from within. Never mind that I was 70% sure I was not going to fail and 25% sure I was going to fail. There is the margin error of 5% which increased or reduced the two chances.  

When he finally got his results and he had passed, I got the morale to also go and check mine. I sneaked from the office, went to a cyber café and opened the dreaded email. My job allows for sneaking from the office from time to time. If he had told me he had failed, I would not have gone to check the results. I would have waited till the evening to check them. However, I was cock sure that he was my S.I unit given that we usually performed in the exams with few marks between us.

I remember waiting to for close to five minutes but exercised patience because I did not know how to log into the computer I was using in the cyber café. Eugene was the first person I called and went back to the office feeling very confident even though I still indifferent because I don’t know what the reaction of my colleagues would be if I told them I had passed. There are few who know about this exam plus I had not told them I had taken this exam. Yet am still two levels from completing them. That I passed the first level means if I dedicate myself to what I currently am doing, then the sky's the limit.

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Picture Source: My Own].

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TECHNICAL MENTALITY

If our office had ears, if only people could hear the words we say. Lately, there seems to be some form of dissonance in how I am working and achieving results. That behind, there is prudence in it all. The lesson learnt, the skills gained, the pain undergone, the pangs of disappointments we have to endure and the success stories untold that make our spirits rise out of our chests with shouts of joy echoing around. When all are wrapped into one, they become what is called the wholesomeness of humanity. I have realized that in order to be safe, as a person, there is nothing wrong with erring. Not that excellence is not a virtue. It is. But countless times, we found ourselves in already made situations. I am a victim.

The other day I sat with a colleague after hours in the office waiting for a client. I wanted to seek his insight as a seasoned workmate who has with stormed the vagaries of the industry so much so that he has become independent and can handle so much I even admire his patience, wit and the clientele he has built. What did he tell me, ‘Run my friend and seek a better opportunity.’ That is after asking what I had pursued while in campus.

At that point, I looked at him crestfallen. Why has he stayed put yet he is telling me to run? Does he know what I really want? Is he right or does he have malicious intent? He may or may not be right. Only time will tell. As a motto, life can be a journey of losses or one full of roses. You lose one battle after the other. However, in certain instances, you gain more than you would have imagined. But one quote, one morning gave me the psyche that I really needed, that “Cowards die many times before their deaths. The brave experience death only once.”

When I got a new job, a job I would never have done by hook or crook having sworn that it is not the kind of place I wanted to venture into after schooling. Then, one day, while reading some professionally written blog, I was convinced beyond any reasonable doubt that indeed, a career in such an industry would provide a goodstart in my future endeavours. It’s funny that the job came right after I had cleared my professional paper whose results I will receive in a week’s time. I rue why I never read a certin book I have now forgot the title and author.

I want to tarry for a while. Even if closing a sale will not be easy at start and results will not be forthcoming.  Provided that there is something good attained at the end of the day. This is because the best things in life have no monetary attachment to them. But when they become valued, the price is quite enormous. They are like platinum in a nutshell. I am yet to see how platinum looks like. Like they say, as you crawl, you wish you would one day be walking. When you start balancing and becoming steady, you want to run and the list is endless. Maybe, if I get to see platinum, I will be indifferent and want an even greater challenge.

Being employed is great. But hiding about the same is not. Especially when you are in a job that I am in. Soon, everyone knows what you are doing and you need them to. Because you have to tell one or two friends, which will spread like bushfire. And when you do, you have exposed that you are attached somewhere. The place where no one wanted to go because it was practically not high yielding monetarily. But after being in the industry for quite some time. There is no denial that even the far I have come, someone would want just a piece of it.

There is a pal of mine who we usually engage in chitchats while reminiscing our woes of being poor performers. I need to change tact, right. Ideally, I want to cross the bridge to be performer. This is a gradual process that will bring be unraveled by this blog in due course. I trust this blog for one reason. It really tells if things will come to pass. Like, looking back, there are pitfalls that I have fallen inside. There are moments I have felt enriched and there are occasions that have come as a blessing. So my fate is not cast in stone.

Did I say I have been performing badly? Oh yes, figures never lie. My dashboard has a red flag. It is telling me each morning that I need to make amends with someone to hit the green flag. The green flag means a change in fortunes. It’s synonymous to the proverb that says, ‘Make hay while the sun shines.’ There is nothing better than having greens on your dashboard. When you do, you will probably do away with eating greens. Kales for that matter without an appetizing stew with some organic accompaniments.

Let me flash-forward. I am seated with a smartly dressed corporate honcho, somewhere in a serene aura. Probably in a ritzy hotel, or an expansive office where the lights are iridescent and you rarely notice that the walls have corners. I then start imagining. What if this was me being served at my own pleasure. Like there was a certain video I watched on Facebook where a certain lady went to meet the mother of her boyfriend and immediately she was given a handshake, she went into euphoria. Imagining she was being given a gold after a hurdle and then confetti being blown in the air to celebrate her for achieving such an onerous task.

I am imagining I am in that position. Not in the sense of bliss after meeting an in law, but, meeting people wo will give me good business. People who will make my wallet bulge with sheer potency if I become a witty raconteur who has mustered the art ‘Maneno matamu hutoa nyoka pangoni.’

To sum it up, I realized I had poor relationship skills. I needed to nurture them. As I continue doing so, I am shifting from being that reclusive person to an overtly expressive individual. That never comes easy. You need an avenue for such. A long the way, you learn a lot. If you are paid to learn that skill and bring in results, then why not. A man must work. Shoes soles must wear out, the collar of the shirt must constantly turn brown if white at the end of the day due to perpetual movements and the best bit is you learn to listen and not be the teller of stories. Why? We have two years and one mouth. Listen more and talk less.

Hasta La Vista Baby.


[Picture Source: My Own]

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A COASTAL BELLE

I have been smitten. So easily I am even doubting whether this is infatuation or something that is real and there to stay. It's confusing. Yet incidences like this happen, especially out of the woods. They are not cast in isolation since they may have happened sometimes back to a bloke like yours truly.

So one morning while I was heading to work, a pretty lady came and sat next to me. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Before I noticed the infectious smile that had lightened up her pretty face, I noticed something. The legs. She was in a tight fitting light blue jeans that gives mental illusions and I can’t deny that the legs were finely contoured. She was petite. There is something sexy about petite women. They make me more virile and masculine. I usually find them attractive and more aesthetically pleasing to my brain and hence I feel comfortable and in control. This in turn induces some Oxycontin in my system and if she first breaks the ice and strikes up a conversation with me, that’s it. That means my testosterone levels rise and though I fear strangers, there are some who make you want to seize the chance without further ado.

“Hii place iko mbali na town,” she asked. However, I never noticed the coastal accent as it sounded more Nairobish.

“Sio sana,” I replied.

As a matter of fact, I was already late for work. When it comes to timing, being on time means you are late according to a certain wise-man. The Israeli leader was in town and a major traffic snarl up had ensued since the major highway was cleared to allow for swift movement by the highly guarded head of state. I noticed a chopper hovering just a few metres from the ground. Indeed, security was tight. Luckily, this was a blessing in disguise on my part. Incidences like this come once in a million.

We did alight because a certain donda had intimated that there was no motion beyond the place we were. Our conversation never continued beyond me answering the question. Something though is for sure. Pretty girls can be more confident especially when they are sure about themselves. She was like a those annoying blog posts that want you to click the link to find out what is inside. Which am not usually tempted to do because of the bundles thingy given that the gen you may get may be stale, repetitive or cheesy.

I decided to walk behind her just to find out if she was enthused as I was in continuing our conversation. I easily noticed that her eyes were looking at me from an angle even though I was behind her. Since there were many people walking in the same direction, I did not want to lose track of her. I wanted to explore my imagination further. However, she was in a trench coat that concealed the obviously pure elements so I was left guessing what could she be hiding beneath the coat.

Being the don’t care that I am, I decided to take the bulls by its horns, ‘kama mbaya sawa’. I am the shy type of guy. So I must do a little bit of math because it was now my turn to explore the conversation further.

However, since there was a sea of humanity headed to town, there was a certain jamaa who was also curtailing my efforts to walk with this chiquitta. He was relentlessly by her side and this made my ego really bruised. I was seething with rage inside because he looked like a salesman. Which is my current profession in a certain tier one bank where am still a rookie who has not made any sale though my leads are looking prospective each and every day.

I think there is something sexy about telling a lady that you work. What’s more, if that is her dream career, she even becomes more servile. I managed to outwit the bloke blocking my way from this new flame and I don’t remember how the conversation started or continued. It was just something flawless without those ahs and ehs that I sometimes struggle with to maintain a conversation with a new lady. I am the macho type of man. When I take control, I want the lady am with to listen to me or I listen to her as we converse without her causing a scene that may have an egg on my face.

I got to ask her about so many things. I remember how my inquisitive nature once landed me in trouble with a certain lady and I had to save face by quickly exiting like a rained on cat. Luckily, this lady was coy and reticent. Even though I still lacked manners in how I did handle her, she did not look disturbed as I prodded her with one question after the other.

Let me call her Amina, a colloquial name because I even forgot what her real name is. It’s tricky and demeaning reasking a lady her name. But I think the M-pesa magic can easily work out.  She told me she was graduate from Cooperative university in Karen. Had always wanted to have a career as a banker and worked for a famous online shop as warehouse attendant specializing in mobile phones. Having previously worked in an online shop, there was an easy way to gel. As opposed to her, I worked in the IT section or driving sales via the website. She executes the orders after a sale has been found which means someone has to have his act right  in terms of ensuring the site is in operation or else, she will be out of work if the mass media were to be denied the access of internet.

We walked for close to one kilometer together engaging in trivial chats and laughter about the frustrations and good side of being an employee. And in due course, she removed her coat. I think she read my mind and did that deliberately because I was stealing glances at her waiting for that opportune moment. She was fine. Not excessively fine such that she attracts many onlookers (team mafisi) as this could have made me quite uncomfortable. I wanted to find a way of walking with our hands interlocked but given that I was in semi-formal dress code and her in casual wear because that is what she should be in, and given that this was our first time meeting, I regrettably never did that.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Photo source: Google Images]

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