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Have
you ever felt that people around you are happy yet you are not? There are those
times in life you just feel like you are discouraged. They are like happy
moments. They sneak into your life intermittently and you have no intuition
where the damn feeling originated from. When you try to figure out and reason
logically bereft of emotions, you realize that you are immersing yourself into
thoughts of yonder which keep on regurgitating like some emetic causing déjà vu.
Is it a spell cast? You ponder. Is the feeling reclusive? Or everyone at some
point goes through this phase.
Over
the past couple of weeks, I have developed some kind of inertia. Both mental
and physical. I have lost the zeal that I initially had. Whether or not I will
recover it has great to do with time. They say time is a healer. Everything we
do has a destiny, say end.
Just
realized that I don’t love reading anymore and writing also. Then again,
knowledge is the basis of wealth. Whether you have formal or informal
education, the wealth of wisdom acquired over time is the reason you are where
you are. You can decide to take advantage of the brains in your head or do
nothing about them. Then again there is the aspect of opportunity, which you
seldom know when it will strike. I just wish I could revive the fanaticism of being
zetetic. And moving on to muster to be a master in my own game. But I digress
each time.
Again,
there is the drooping in my results. I dunno what I have not been doing right.
I need to tighten my leather belt with regard to time wastage. Say, sticking to
a rote which I have been trying hard to follow and the results have been a
spoiler. I am left famished in a sense. Maybe I should just look for a way of
doing thing my own way. And forget about the other ways. Thy own way is
creative, full of imagination and leaves room for amelioration. Right?
I
should find a way of draining away these two source of fatigue, physical and psychological.
Let me reassure myself that all things will end well. I will revive my lost
literary skills, read that which I am supposed to read. Workout even when I am
not feeling like and reduce on so uncanny addictions that contribute to low
self-esteem.
But
how do I get the vis back? Will it be as peptic as it used to be? Should I consult
a counselor or just take the bull by its horns? These are just but few of the
questions that I usually ask myself. In investments lingo, they are referred to
as VAR (Value at Risk) queries. Maybe I should try out Google, and find out if
I can rekindle the prior fervor that seemed unmanageable.
Reminds me of that ‘LAZY SONG’ by Bruno Mars.
Hasta
La Vista, Baby
[Picture
Source: Pixabay.com]
