A COASTAL BELLE

I have been smitten. So easily I am even doubting whether this is infatuation or something that is real and there to stay. It's confusing. Yet incidences like this happen, especially out of the woods. They are not cast in isolation since they may have happened sometimes back to a bloke like yours truly.

So one morning while I was heading to work, a pretty lady came and sat next to me. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Before I noticed the infectious smile that had lightened up her pretty face, I noticed something. The legs. She was in a tight fitting light blue jeans that gives mental illusions and I can’t deny that the legs were finely contoured. She was petite. There is something sexy about petite women. They make me more virile and masculine. I usually find them attractive and more aesthetically pleasing to my brain and hence I feel comfortable and in control. This in turn induces some Oxycontin in my system and if she first breaks the ice and strikes up a conversation with me, that’s it. That means my testosterone levels rise and though I fear strangers, there are some who make you want to seize the chance without further ado.

“Hii place iko mbali na town,” she asked. However, I never noticed the coastal accent as it sounded more Nairobish.

“Sio sana,” I replied.

As a matter of fact, I was already late for work. When it comes to timing, being on time means you are late according to a certain wise-man. The Israeli leader was in town and a major traffic snarl up had ensued since the major highway was cleared to allow for swift movement by the highly guarded head of state. I noticed a chopper hovering just a few metres from the ground. Indeed, security was tight. Luckily, this was a blessing in disguise on my part. Incidences like this come once in a million.

We did alight because a certain donda had intimated that there was no motion beyond the place we were. Our conversation never continued beyond me answering the question. Something though is for sure. Pretty girls can be more confident especially when they are sure about themselves. She was like a those annoying blog posts that want you to click the link to find out what is inside. Which am not usually tempted to do because of the bundles thingy given that the gen you may get may be stale, repetitive or cheesy.

I decided to walk behind her just to find out if she was enthused as I was in continuing our conversation. I easily noticed that her eyes were looking at me from an angle even though I was behind her. Since there were many people walking in the same direction, I did not want to lose track of her. I wanted to explore my imagination further. However, she was in a trench coat that concealed the obviously pure elements so I was left guessing what could she be hiding beneath the coat.

Being the don’t care that I am, I decided to take the bulls by its horns, ‘kama mbaya sawa’. I am the shy type of guy. So I must do a little bit of math because it was now my turn to explore the conversation further.

However, since there was a sea of humanity headed to town, there was a certain jamaa who was also curtailing my efforts to walk with this chiquitta. He was relentlessly by her side and this made my ego really bruised. I was seething with rage inside because he looked like a salesman. Which is my current profession in a certain tier one bank where am still a rookie who has not made any sale though my leads are looking prospective each and every day.

I think there is something sexy about telling a lady that you work. What’s more, if that is her dream career, she even becomes more servile. I managed to outwit the bloke blocking my way from this new flame and I don’t remember how the conversation started or continued. It was just something flawless without those ahs and ehs that I sometimes struggle with to maintain a conversation with a new lady. I am the macho type of man. When I take control, I want the lady am with to listen to me or I listen to her as we converse without her causing a scene that may have an egg on my face.

I got to ask her about so many things. I remember how my inquisitive nature once landed me in trouble with a certain lady and I had to save face by quickly exiting like a rained on cat. Luckily, this lady was coy and reticent. Even though I still lacked manners in how I did handle her, she did not look disturbed as I prodded her with one question after the other.

Let me call her Amina, a colloquial name because I even forgot what her real name is. It’s tricky and demeaning reasking a lady her name. But I think the M-pesa magic can easily work out.  She told me she was graduate from Cooperative university in Karen. Had always wanted to have a career as a banker and worked for a famous online shop as warehouse attendant specializing in mobile phones. Having previously worked in an online shop, there was an easy way to gel. As opposed to her, I worked in the IT section or driving sales via the website. She executes the orders after a sale has been found which means someone has to have his act right  in terms of ensuring the site is in operation or else, she will be out of work if the mass media were to be denied the access of internet.

We walked for close to one kilometer together engaging in trivial chats and laughter about the frustrations and good side of being an employee. And in due course, she removed her coat. I think she read my mind and did that deliberately because I was stealing glances at her waiting for that opportune moment. She was fine. Not excessively fine such that she attracts many onlookers (team mafisi) as this could have made me quite uncomfortable. I wanted to find a way of walking with our hands interlocked but given that I was in semi-formal dress code and her in casual wear because that is what she should be in, and given that this was our first time meeting, I regrettably never did that.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Photo source: Google Images]

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A HAPPY SLAVE

I am now a happy slave. But who is a happy slave? Forget about the chained ones or those who work under duress. I am talking about the new era slaves. Chances are you are one of them. Since most of us aspire to be one. The best thing about new era slavery is that you are able to choose your master who intern determines your pay. All in all we are subject to a person who reigns supreme over us. And they are small lords we need to worship.

If you have stayed at home for some period of time, you usually just want a place where you will go and interact with other fellow beings in order to get money. Money is the king in the current world. All and sundry are working towards being financially stable. Even those you think have made enough still want more. There is the maintenance of status quo which you have to work for or else, time and money will work against you.

So as a happy slave, you need to wake up very early in the morning. You think that the process ended when you left high school. After struggling in high school, you get a relief by going on vacation in campus. This is because, while in campus, it was a journey of fairy tales. No bells, reminders or pushers. Just you to decide whether you are going to follow the rote or not. It is like you prepare yourself in life for big things just to end up having your life determined by another individual who perhaps does not care about you.

Sometimes I rue why I was born in this situation. Where was my grandpa while other men of equal stance were building dynasties and empires in preparation for a better life for their future generation. Perhaps, by now I would have been thinking about going to the next level. Either building up on the retained wealth or using it impetuously forgetting that tomorrow will come. However, chances are, the latter effect would have never surfaced.

  

Since I am now a happy slave, I will have to take it easy. The sky is now the limit. The only problem I usually have is that I am never a stickler to time or love commitment. But now there is room for improvement having learnt from the past mistakes. As you grow, you become wiser. Wisdom is the source of wealth. 

Since I have lost the verve that I initially had and given that I am waiting for it to resurface, I must end there hoping that in my zetetic endeavour of being a happy slave, I will get further insight and be able to grow and go big in the new found venture. 

Hasta La Vista, Baby.

[Photo Source: Google Images].

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PETTY BUT PRETTY

This is my last day of being idle. I have been idle for the past couple of weeks and though not the idle of being useless, in some other people’s angle, I have been idle. But idleness is nice, some times. You are never bugged by any one, you have so much time which is again so little. For instance, just at the dial of a button, you are able to get to that pal who is also idle and you have all the time to talk about all the nonsense in this world. What ladies call catching up.

I go my first job about four years ago where I worked as a volunteer for Red Cross. Hitherto, I had thought that it would be business as usual when it comes to arrival time and exit. Ideally, I was not the person who loved being late. But during one particular occasion, I got late. We were assisting nurses in handling children who were due for vaccination during a Measles campaign. Also conducted concurrently was the creation of awareness that the campaign was ongoing. Never mind that my church was against the process, somehow, we managed to vaccinate some kids within the church by setting base somewhere (sic). But given the fact that I was killing idleness and making money at the same time, I thought it was a worthy engagement.

Then one day, I accidentally got late. I remember our supervisor fuming with rage almost sacking us for not taking our duties seriously. She was called Bibi and came with the head of our team. I remember chickening out and almost ‘lambad’ her not to sack me because I urgently needed the money for personal use. I was the first to arrive late followed by two other Congolese dudes who were also hustling in the city. I had just finished my sophomore year and was lucky I had joined Red Cross and got engaged few weeks later because they saw how serious I was.

Luckily, we got a reprieve because we became remorseful and promised never to get late again. Ideally, the reason for our lateness was due to the fact that the city clinic nurses we were working with were usually late and it took them time to open it which meant we had to idle around walking in the city if you found no one in sight. That was before I knew that better be in time than be on time.

In principle, keeping time is something am still struggling with. Yesterday (6/16/2016), while going to sign my contract, I arrived on time to the venue I was supposed to be but did not know where to go. In the process, I got late by ten minutes in asking for directions. Luckily, there was no caveat placed on the time of arrival because you were only required to go read the contract letter and decide whether to abnegate if it was not palatable or validate it if the offer was sumptuous. I laughed at myself the moment I saw it.

What drew my attention was the pay. I was not looking at it anymore, I was looking at pleasing future employers and probably forming a network, or landing my short term dream career because there is an avenue as opposed to where I was- being idle and lolling. Luckily, even got contact to a new colleague. Obviously, we complained about the pay plus the working terms silently but took it up because there is always something good at the end of the tunnel.

An idle mind is the devils workshop. Looking at the pay, I was thinking deeply. I have conquered one hurdle, in the short term. I will be dedicating so much time to my new employer in terms of travel to the work place and leaving not forgetting that I need my own time. But was this pay worth that wait? Mmmmmmmmh, just enough to ensure you do not stray but be able to pay bills arising. As for a continuing student like yours truly, there is one thing I will not be able to achieve in the short term again. I still need to dig into my old man’s purse for the last time as I work towards saving for my future school fees.

According to an article I read on Business Daily, the net if viewed on the surface will not be enough to take keep me in the city. It will just be enough to curtail the zealotry in me to be patient for a while. Given that I hate borrowing people money, I will take the little I have and now work on improving my relationships people who matter by aiming at giving real value.

[to be continued...]

[Photo Source: Google Images]

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A CUP OF TEA

Some conversations can sound banal when you overhear if you have no option because you cannot ear muff in a public setting. However, such conversations are usually very material. They are laced with real life situations of past events that may have no meaning in the current dispensation. Yet we have to learn from the past to be able to make meaningful progress. The past forms our heritage and helps in eschewing mistakes that are repetitive.

Over the week, I was in a matatu headed to town to ask for some referral letters my prospective employer wanted from me. Since the matatu did not have hip music with loud speakers and since I could not sleep, I decided to keenly listen to two gentlemen conversing on Moi-Era policies and politics. It was barely a week after finishing Exams when I got a call that I should avail the documents as quickly as possible which was also a God send. Imagine finishing exams then you are due for employment, is than not a blessing?

I have to be very candid. The Kenyan system has prepared us to be job seekers. Even if we wanted to be our own bosses, the lure for easy money while working without much commitment makes us love being employed. Again, fear of the unknown, lack of capital and skills makes us shun venturing into sole proprietorship. So am party to the whole employment ideology. And in that regard, I am also waiting for this employer to act swiftly and judiciously to probably see the urgency that I need a job.

As I intimated, I was in a mathree, two men probably in their late forties or early fifties were conversing and there was one who was seated in front to my right whose voice towered over the Sonitek sounding speakers. They were specifically conversing about how retired president Moi made in a requirement that all civil servants who were on leave were supposed to head back to their rural homes to reduce lethargy in the city. And when they were coming back, they were not supposed to carry cereals that exceeded a certain amount. Since police road blocks were erected on all major towns and centres, your car would be ransacked arbitrarily and the excess retained by the officers or you risked being jailed. I have not yet confirmed the rationale or certainty of the gen but am sure there were health, personal and a variety of other reasons behind the caveat.

The men also talked about how it was mandatory for students in colleges to get the Chief’s approval letter when heading back to campus as a sign that they were not wayward or engaging in acts forbidden by the law whether de jure or de facto. I never knew there would have been a relationship between this employer and the Kanu era policies until I sat down and synthesized my predicaments which are now over. At least this is a consolation given the fact that I am not alone in this struggle.

Anyway, as a matter of fact, one has to conduct due diligence and have a reasonable basis that you are indeed clean before they hire you. That means they have to carry out checks that are sometimes very severe that on the surface look very trivial. In fact, I had never known that getting a recommendation letter can be a hustle. I had to kill some of my ambitions and pursuits to attend to another juggernaut that got me worried so much.

Having contacted my former employer, I thought they had mechanisms in place to issue a recommendation letter. Woe unto me, they had no such structure, again, they barely know formal English. As a result, it was a challenge convincing them to write me a letter to send to my new employer. What was frustrating was the fact that they were directing me to another person whose English was also pathetic. I remember when he wrote some policies for the company, I felt like crying. I wondered why the quest for money had landed me. The statements flouted all grammatical rules and I felt like posting the printout on social media but my senses would not allow me. As a result, I kept it somewhere but it got lost with the course of time. Now, I know why I should at least work with institutions with structures. Workplaces that are devoid of emotions and are run professionally without any stigma. In the end, I contacted my former boss who was of aid and I got served.

Then there was Red Cross. I was required to get a letter from them also. And it goes without doubt that this is one of the most bureaucratic process I had to go through in order to get documentation. A problem arose since I had not been participating in many activities in the recent past due to studies and personal commitments. I needed someone who knew me to act as a referee to assure the final referee that I have a clean sheet. One of the biggest problems I faced was in contacting our youth chair who has a fulltime job and hence is rarely in the Red Cross offices to certify that he knows those who are seeking recommendation letters. There was a time in the process of searching for the document where I got frustrated to the point I felt like, ‘Is this hustle really worth it.’

The first time I called the contact person, he never picked my phone nor replied to my message. But being that person who is usually ignored, I took it that he was just like the others. After another day, I did call and he did pick but I was running out of time. The county manager who was supposed to sign my document was not in the country and not even my life membership certificate aided in making matters better. I envied the government even though it can be very bureaucratic also given that they process documents not by knowing someone but by looking at your records.

It was while looking for this documents that I thought of an employment opportunity that could reduce the red tape of getting a document from our local Red Cross branch. If only they could be able to store information in a database, say Microsoft Access or Excel where retrieval is easier, they could reduce the frustrations people go through. Why do you need two approvals before you are given a recommendation letter? Just by the look of the activities you did can serve as a better representation than relying on a person who knows you. From the activities, reports are generated at the end of the day to find out whether there were any misdemeanors. If there were none, then you are cleared and given you letter based on those grounds, if any adverse information is written and you are mentioned, then your letter is delayed to allow for further scrutiny.

But I loved the explanation they gave as to why they could not write that letter just yet. Given that there was a person who misused the letter after employment by going on ahead and stealing from the organization he was employed in, there was reluctance in issuing those letters. However, sole situations should not be used to incriminate those that are ‘clean’. Even using another person to certify that he knows you does not help much. What helps a lot is records.

I realized that there are no reliable records that are used but only the use of memory by the officer in charge to ratify your documents after asking you few questions which you may cram if given ‘leakage’. Anyway, at the end of the day, I was able to get the document. It has taught me an important lesson. That I need to form a good rapport with those I work with. They can break or make you. Initially, I had taken for granted people knowing me. I loved being mysterious. To remain that person who is seen and when am gone from the situation, they forget about me.

I initially intimated that I will henceforth work with an employer who has got structures. This is because, when I phoned my former boss where I worked as a teacher, he was very formal and straight with regard to handling my issue. He only had to check his files and judiciously make an informed decision when he realized he had forgotten who I was. He did set an appointment date and when I visited, he duly helped.

At this point, I appreciate that formal education to a certain level is very crucial. If you deal with someone without formal education, they may frustrate you for no good reason. Plus, I repeat, storing information in a database is still one of the most important things in life as it eases some time consuming processes.

Anyway.

Away from the frustrations and hectic process of getting letters, I met one of my former campus mates. We met near TUK on some vibandas where I also went for a haircut since my hair was turning out to be unproportioned. He was very bitter as to why he wasted his time in campus. Even me (sic), I usually thought of having wasted time going to campus but not anymore. Like if I had invested the money in a business, I would have been having reliable income if the business picked. He intimated about those days he spent reading in the library and having sleepless nights while in high school and campus. Then someone decides to give him the job of sweeping floors and packing goods awaiting them to be shipped overseas. I wanted to tell him my bit of having sometimes washed toilets, washed clothes for the orphans and other obscene jobs. I washed clothes that you wear gloves to wash because they are laced with urine or faeces. And a variety of other things that you do on a voluntary basis you wonder why you even went to campus. But they aid in reducing lolling. Better still, you have something to do when idle.

At least, in his case, he was being paid. In my case, I was not employed and that was a better way of making use of my time until other projects arose. Plus, there is always mystery of not handling routine work when you volunteer in an organisation like Red cross.

My pal was more irked by the fact that his immediate supervisor was a holder of a certificate and he used to tell him to issue out his CV so that in the event a vacancy did arise, he would be considered. But in his vile thoughts which I insularly consented with, he was of the opinion that upon receipt of the document, the bugger would use it as material for reuse or place it in a paper shredder or worse still, use it to light his jiko.

We talked about a variety of other stuff that was affecting an unemployed graduate. If only there was a way of absorbing this clueless labor force, then, something good would be in the offing for this nation. As a job seeker who now has hopes, I know that I am not alone. Nonetheless, there is this huge monster that has invaded the employment industry called corruption. For example, there are certain institutions where you have to part with a million shillings to be employed paid upfront or in installments. The problem arises with regard in knowing right person to give the money if you have it. Additionally, if your folks are not that liquid, you need to take up what comes your way. Seething with rage will not help. So it all boils down that to a certain extent, the job market has been left to the people who have means. If you are a hohe hahe and you don’t secure a place through graduate recruitment, chances are you will have to wait a little longer because new graduates who are more agile will be considered over you an old graduate. In order to reduce gaps in your resume, you just take up whatever little you are given. They call it starting small. And the Chinese did intimate that the journey of a thousand miles start with a single step.

As for my prospective employer, I have gone through a lot and I am yet to even encounter very frustrating incidences that make me want to give up the quest. Right now, I am uncertain as to whether I will get that job. If you don’t give me that job which has taken me months I even wanted to write you a personal letter asking why it was taking so long, I will appreciate the fact you bequeathed me with some new experience. I know better how to handle myself with regard to getting recommendation letters.

You may deny me that opportunity or grant it if you wish. I did my able best and when you are through with the hard part which made me even want to quit it altogether, you feel a relief that is only innate. When you are struggling and having sleepless nights thinking of how people have authority over your life, you realize that at the end of the day you are no longer a liberal being.

As I await for my two results; exam and employment, I am upbeat that things are never static. When one door closes, another opens and you learn from previous mistakes by taking measures that aid in obliterating that which is hampering a move to the next stage. As I sit down writing this, I wonder why I have informally turned into a professional student and job seeker. It is a struggle but someday, I will have a breakthrough. Luckily, I love the fact that I can sometimes be able to apply the various skills learnt all at once as time progresses. That enough is motivation to continue. Who knows, someone may want me to help him out with my knowledge when am ripe.

               

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: My own]

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IT'S A WRAP

So what next? That's the question that lingers. Guess it's now time to go back  to the drawing board. Look at life in a new perspective and adopt a long term strategy. This short term strategy I adopted is over. I now need to look at other viable options that can aid in reducing this otiosity that may arise owing to the fact that it may probably arise.

However, there is no denial that my bucket is full. I have so much stuff to immerse myself into and that includes, but not limited to; blogging, reading, online studies, looking for work online, completing my course in Microsoft Excel, Python programming and a miscellany of stuff that will arise as a result of being a free being. I want to sometime be able to come up with various programs that I can be able to tweak easily that can be able to model an equity by incorporating both fundamental and technical analysis within it to determine whether a stock is a sell or a buy.

That is a long term strategy that I am aiming at addressing given that am lethargic when it comes to applying for jobs. The only setback is that I have to find some cash to be able to market this service that I will be offering. Like the betting model I am working on, it’s easier to lose hope and get frustrated when things are not working out. The other problem comes in with regard to the audience. Programming is far a technical thing that needs to be simplified likewise equity valuation. I know there are few individuals who even know about equity multiples, financial reporting analysis so as to be able to decide whether or not to buy stocks.

The other problem is that this venture is a one-man affair. One man affairs don't work out every time. Sometime they become a success. All the friends I know of want to be employed in order to get that cash for survival. I, on the other hand am left to think for the alternative because I have been applying for jobs to no avail. I am imagining the requirements and sometimes get frustrated because the bar is just too high. 

The going has been rewarding though it makes me feel frustrated. Perusing is not as easy as it may look. Sometimes back I went to represent my younger brother during a parents meeting and what surprised me was when one of the teachers acknowledged that students do not love reading. She did not love reading as she confessed about that. That did remind me of my time while in high school, if you never burnt the midnight oil or break your neck to thoroughly peruse, chances are, you would probably be tailing if you were not sharp in grasping concepts while the classroom.

Now that I will be taking a sabbatical with regard to school work, I am sure I will slowly crack some of this codes and get a relief. What is for sure is that I have prepared for the marathon to my able best. It was like a union you never can go without. Until I complete the marathon, I will not be able to attest to anything. Given that I have been struggling but not so much, I am hopeful things will not go awry. In the event they try to, I will have to restrategize by looking at plausible scenarios to move on ahead smoothly.. 

Looking back, I have realized the power of dedication. It clearly demarcates those who are loyal by removing the chaff from the grain. Sometimes the rewards come in the sense that you have gone through a process and can be able to attest to the fact that it is satisfying just having the guts to go through it.

I have occasionally thought of killing this blog while studying as it got into my thoughts. What am I even gaining by having it. Does it even help owning a blog? Sometimes yes. There are those moments that can only be captured well by venting out the frustrations on a personal platform like a blog. Whether someone will read it or not, what remains is that you have learnt a lesson that you have documented. Sometime later on when you feel like going through what you did pen, you realize that you have gone through  a lot. Like it's easy thinking of starting it, but remaining steadfast up to the end is the most challenging aspect. 

There are times during the course of this project I undertook in terms of doing a professional course I felt like giving up. But I never wanted to disappoint myself, nor those who knew that I was going through this tortuous exercise. All in all, I have to wrap it up. Something is piercing me now and I have to call it a day. I have a mountain to climb and it surely will be momentous when I am done with it. 

P/S: Tomorrow, I will be sitting for my first professional exams. After revision and all that, I must say I am armed but shit can sometimes happen. So, let me be hopeful that all will be well even though am anxious and just want tomorrow to end as fast as possible. Until then. Hope I will write about the tension and setting after the process.

Hasta La Vista Baby. 

[Picture Source: ]

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BETTING, ITS A HUSTLE

The other day, my pal challenged me to come up with all the possible outcomes that you can be able to play on Sportpesa in order to win the coveted jackpot. The zeal in me got down to googling and programming and sadly, it's not as easy as we had thought. Men, being this jobless dudes, we had thought that we could easily come up with possible outcomes through permutations. As such, we took our calculators and worked out the math. Sadly, to get the possible outcomes, you need to raise the three games by the number of outcomes. If it is two games, there are a possible nine games. So for thirteen games, there are 1,594,323 possible right outcomes. Which means you need 160 million in order to win between 1 and 40 million if theoretically put. Not worth it, Right?

Damn. It looks like my dream of betting has gone to the dogs. Now I only have to concentrate on some other stuff. Even though I came up with the codes to run in the model, it was not able to fit into Microsoft Excel. Excel, unfortunately only allows for 1,048,576 cells, row-wise. I did run some input on VBA and stored it as a macro so that I could possibly view the output on Excel. Then I saw that debug error. Now I need to find a way of importing the model directly into an Excel Data Model as it can handle more than 2 million cells in a row.

What prompted my friend to ask me if I can be able to execute the outcomes? Since we had resorted to being full-time students (ideally, doing a daunting professional course can make you think you need all that time but you don’t), we sometimes found time to engage in garish banter over lunch just to sate our quest for being overnight millionaires. And in our parochial senses, we thought of investing some cash and voila, we would be smiling all the way to the bank. But the gods were not on our side. The first setback arose because we did not know how to execute the model even though he knew I had taken up some courses on programming and excel online.

So as not to shame myself, I had sleepless nights thinking how I could be able to solve the problem of aiding in us becoming millionaires. I even forgot that I had a mountain of an exam in due course and made YouTube, various betting blogs, programming sites and the knowledge I had in excel into use. After two nights of trial and error, I was able to come up with a program by modelling a seven outcome game. (You should have seen my Eureka! debut). Then a problem arose with regard to time. Even if you have all the time to play the outcomes, it will take you more than a week if betting on the games individually if you factor in you need sleep, toilet breaks, meal breaks and monotony.  My advice on this was to form a gang of like-minded pals to bet all viable games after eliminating outcomes that will not work. Like, say if Spain played with Kenya, you are sure Kenya will lose. So your bet for the game is a win for Spain.

If you choose a win for this game. You automatically reduce the chances of failure by a third. Ideally, if you can eliminate eight games which you are cock sure about in a jackpot, then you will remain with five games in the model to work with. That means with five games, the possible number of times you can play is 243 games. Those games multiplied by KSh. 100, you are sure to get your return on investments. However, you have to be contended with match fixing and the possibility of the team you had so much hope on not being in shape and therefore drawing or losing. Because football can be like an earthquake, unpredictable, right. Again, the games that are usually placed for a bet are usually very tricky to predict, zimekauka mbaya.  

So we are still stuck in a rut. I am still looking for mechanisms of running the codes in a data model as my friend looks for funds so that we can sit down and brainstorm on how to win ‘intellectually’. Given that I also performed Monte Carlo simulation on the outcomes, I am sure you can smile all the way to the bank if you muster how to work with the model given that we have been betting on a trial and error basis.

As for yours truly, I have to learn how to bet since I am not well versed with the betting industry. I should also not take for granted football noise. Noise in this case means the possibility of match-fixing, and all the various information that influences the outcome of a game. Albeit to counter this betting institutions, one only needs brainy football stalwarts who know how to predict successfully and you are good to go. This is after performing historical simulations.

Is it worth it to bet? I have been a firm believer that ridiculing that which has become a system will not eliminate it but will propagate it due to the advertisement it gets whether adverse or not. Plus, betting is for those we call risk seeking. Even though there are many people who are loss averse, the sheer aspect of not knowing the outcome makes it quite something due to the adrenaline that you might win. If my mental institutions serve me right, one day I will model a winning outcome with just 27 games. It’s possible.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

Link to outcomes of seven games

[Picture Source: My own]

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CORONA AND COROLLA

There is a phrase that goes, ‘Life is a series trial and error’. I have made errors and realized that even though they are times you regret; they serenely make you stronger. That means there are moments in life you need to live a dog’s life and think that you have wasted the master ball. Then there are those moments when you have overcome the manly errors and people love that you have made it and hence love your association. They never know how close you were to giving up, they never know the sacrifices you make each day just to ensure you see to it that your dream comes alive. There are those vain moments, those you never want to talk about. There are those moments that you should talk about, because society has dictated so. Society only loves successful people. As a result, never tell it when you have down moments, just say how easy it has been. Because that is what the regular guy wants to hear, if you talk about the struggles, then you will create enemies, and we don’t want to be loners, we want to be loved. We want to be in a society where we are accepted. However, when the day comes to a close, so shall you lie. As the Swahili proverb goes.

Today, I want to outpour my frustrations to my current bae. I don’t know if that is the right name, nonetheless, it applies to her since I spend more time than average intervals being worried about her, thinking about our union and the probable rewards I will get if this union materializes. Which will take ages, and ages. But the end of it all is that if I stick around and never give up, I will smile all the way to the bank as opposed to being drained off and being a sponger. I had to steal this phrase just for her and it goes. “I am sure this is worth what I am going through. I don't want to waste this opportunity, or I won't get another one. But this is my choice . . . so I have to choose wisely and be decisive.”

Because of the struggles, I have decided to write a letter to my bae. It does not mean that I have to suffer every time I am with her. She has made me go places, which I will continue going and see many more as time rolls. But here is the letter.

Dear Bae,

In a flash of shock and dread, I did twitch awake, finding myself in the bathroom as I had to wake up very early in the morning today where I did wash off the slumber. I had lost sleep, because the alarm never rung. It was those wee hours when the thief strikes. I am also from a short siesta, having got tired and realized that I need to take a breather because all work without play is a disaster in waiting. You know that the reason why I woke up was because of you. You mean more to me now than ever. I don’t know whether this should be a love message or a dirge. You will be forced to read in between the lines to figure out.

For the past few weeks, I have been forced to take drastic measures. It’s like a newlywed couple. They have to forget about the bachelor days and start acting married. They have to take time to ensure they nurture their relationship so that they withstand those who try to rock their boat. Like those newlyweds, we have started our journey. When we shall celebrate or tie the union is virgin. Given that I want to finish this journey in a record time, I have been forced to forego those that I should not have. But I have to let it move across me, seize every movement of locking my limbs and emotions in place, long enough for it to cleave and claim another part of my being.

You see, I long forgot to party five months ago because of you. I stopped hitting the bottle and even joined church. But amid all this, I have not stopped being worried. The sole reason why I eschew liquor is because of the energy effect. Recently at an event organised in one of the ritzy hotels in the city, I got to know why I have to keep that energy. There is this economist who argued that interest rates are like alcohol, you feel the impact later on after having enjoyed. Let me be terse, I know interest rates are too academic or economic, so I will tell the alcohol bit.

You see, when you drink alcohol, at around midnight, you usually become super active, dancing moves you would never pull when sane, peeing and just feeling good and energetic. You never question where all the energy has come from. It’s not that alcohol gives you energy, its only that you have utilized tomorrow’s energy before its intended time. It’s also like having a given portion of food to eat which you should divide for lunch and supper. If you consume it all at once, you will have yourself to blame if hunger pangs take the better of you and you have no victuals to bribe the marauding enzymes and amylases in the digestive system. Similarly, ale has the net effect of metamorphosing into a hangover. And what does that mean?  You will be spent the next day. And for a person like me, it could magnify because it also means less of partaking meals resulting in losing so many hours. Which I never want to. Now you know why I have stopped drinking liquor, right.

You see, there are these test I have been taking to find out if I can pass the minimum threshold to be with you. Actually, I have realized that I need to go an extra mile, even though I am writing this letter, it highly contributes to wasting precious time. But I am not, I am not wasting time. I am investing it because it’s worthwhile to go back and find out where you have been because pictures cannot give meaning illustrations like words. They may not tell that I spend more than three hours seated patiently somewhere just to test myself if I qualify to be with you. In that regard, I have decided to go through the torture of failing each time. Only once have I met the minimum requirement. The rest of the time, I have been scoring average grades. You know that it is my responsibility to check myself if I am prepared for you or not. And it looks like I should keep preparing. Till I succeed, I am not relenting. Rome in essence was not build in a day. And it looks like I have to sacrifice more days and forgo luxuries in preparing.

But the most outstanding reasons why being in love with you is a demand is because I have ended up forgetting about my first love- scripting. I have mused a couple of times of the untold stories that have not penned just because I have been betrothed to you. In soliloquy, I sometimes talk to her. Though occasionally, I try to revive our checkered union to no avail. It’s like am now captive to you. I don’t remember tying the knot with those small handcuffs we put on our ring fingers in a civil or religious ceremony. Sometimes I hear her crying of neglect, painfully and with sorrow. She looks sad and forlorn. Inside this thing called a blog I have left her. So that people can come and check her out and comfort her, just to give her solace. She never complains, but something inside tells me she is hurting. She wants me back. I feel like taking her, but those many days I have spent with you will not go down in futility. You know I mean it. If I ever decide to get back with her……………, you I mean it. Reminds me of that rap by G-Easy. Looking at how neglected she is, I feel sorry. Its human to be so. Yet I have not done that which I am supposed to. And as a result, I have decided to check her out today. Just to tell her she is not alone. That I will take care of her in some other way.

Being in a union with you is like being married to a nagging woman even though I have no idea what the institution of marriage is like. I have lost touch with reality. I no longer love that which all and sundry loves. Even taking up some small tasks has become an issue. I am even selective in what I want to do. You have your own demands and also require me to be like the good old husband, be there to deliver. But you also know that I am jobless. And having read widely, I realized that it is not easy getting a job in the industry I desire, not that its easy anywhere else. It’s not. I have to try to be the best in the meantime. However, frustrations and lethargy usually gets the better of me. It has even got to that point I am a stranger to many people. Even my immediate neighbours never see me and they wonder where I have been to. Likewise, my peeps are sometimes forced to call me just to find out if I am doing right. Obviously, I am fine. But its lonely. I feel like am an under achiever.

My job, my only job is to preserve myself and I do it very well. You remember after a small stint working I decided to relieve myself of duty. Sometimes I do have few regrets, but materially, I feel like I have achieved that which I could not have in the event I had stuck around. Let me hope that you’ll let me crack the code to riches so long as I swear my loyalty, so long as I bid farewell to the petty feel good moments that don’t last. However, what is for sure is that you have taught me discipline. I have to stick to a rote. I have to keep showing up and that is the essence of it all. Showing up is like what Malcolm Gladwell authored differentiates the regular guy from the achiever. Even if I do not get a job, I have learnt so much. That with dedication, you can be what you want, as long as you forget what others think. Join forces with likeminded people and forge on ahead.

I just love the fact that you have opened some doors that I am yet to take advantage of. I am not the zetetic type, I am no the go getter type, but I love to continue getting better so that when I get there, when it is my time, it will be a smooth sail. Guess my time will come and I will get there, where you have intended me to be. In fact, I must acknowledge that I have materially grown intellectually. I know so much yet I have no opportunity to relay back yet I am an upright being. I love the monopoly I now have. It’s very material. Even when I am not in a position to fend for some things, I am contented in the short while that I am bequeathed with gem. Knowledge that is. I have also tested the frustration of being jobless and have come to appreciate that you have to find ways to mitigate and ameliorate.

Do you know how many hangouts I have ceased going for even after receiving an invite? You need to realize that I am not taking you for granted. And like a Eurobond beneficiary, I will be there for you. Never mind that Kenyans talk about Eurobond yet they never know what it is. That we were loaned and as such we have to pay those bondholders at a premium is not a joke. Since we are not investment grade and because of credit and market risk they need compensation for loaning a third world country in form of higher coupons. And as tax payers, we have to pay for it whether the infrastructure will come to materialize or not. Anyway. Like I intimated, I left partaking of ale. You know ale and energy don’t go hand in hand. Plus, there is the possibility of killing those brain cells that I should keep safe. I know some of the decisions are not sane. Like how can a grown up guy be committed so much that he cannot take a break to engage with pals. Ideally, I have become a societal misfit. I don’t know if am headed in the right direction. But ideally, I am committed to get where I want to be. Which means I need to take a break. Even though I thought I would have done better by writing even more. In either case.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: My own]

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A LONG SHORT

‘People hate to think bad things happening. So they always underestimate their likelihood.’

I love poetry. Out of sheer wit and passion because poetry is what is synonymous to derivatives in the financial miasma. They can be short, or long and are challenging to decipher. Similarly, you can long or short a derivative and they are not easy to decipher because they are esoteric. So yes, the two positions (long or short) are mutually exclusive.

Mmmmmmmmh! I bet you are at sea right now. If not, then you know about ‘The Big Short.’ Perhaps you also have also watched the series ‘Billions’. They both have investment grade rating in IMDB or rotten tomatoes. Sorry, they have high rating. The other day, I talked to some kin about betting. There is a person who did bet a company on the probability of a certain minnow clinching the title of the most followed league. Bet the guy has few hours to reaping big based on the high chances of his bet making a market.  Never mind that some pundits with marginal gen have trashed the ‘The Big Short’ as being irrelevant.

Life is a gamble, you either lose, win or maintain the status quo. If you bet against nothing, never think of making a kill. If you bet on the other hand, you either win or lose. There no sitting on the fence. The biggest gainers are those who act based on wit, yet there are some more who stumble upon gain based on sheer lack. Obviously, you know that the latter never smile because the probity of some prudent guy reaping from their idiocy is more than likely. Reason why the world allows for equity and not equality. See, equality has ‘al’, let’s assume that those two letters denote ‘all’ which we are used to. Equity on the other hand is aimed at moving towards equality. In other words, it is a subset of equality.

If you have ever done something, you know all well that it is never easy achieving the desired results. In economics, you know about insatiable human wants.  But we are all aiming at breaking even. When we consider the margin to achieve pleasant and abnormal results we either backtrack or advance. If we advance, we achieve results.  Those that make you smile sheepishly and feel like you are indeed a winner above all other immortal beings. Recall back when you were in high or primary school, didn’t you feel on top of the world when you scored the best results above everyone else. Then years later, you find that guy you used to beat doing well and you feel like asking him for a favour because you have hit a rock bottom.

‘It aint what you don’t know that that gets you into trouble.’

I decided to weed some kales on our small garden the other day. The guy we had assigned the duty was kind of, ‘I won’t soil my hands yet I can make easy bucks somewhere else.’ When it gets to that point where you are begging, you usually find an alternative. Why not try it yourself? Unless the issue is rocket science, you have the option of taking the bull by its horns. I went to till the garden after a five-year hiatus and guess what? You guessed it right, I managed to finish weeding it but not after feeling like I was pulling a tooth.

First, there was clearing the overgrown live fence with a blunt panga that took up so much time I felt like I was whistling in a moonless night but I managed to finish because of the few tricks that come as a result of spending some time in the shags. Then there was weeding out the shrubs and since I never did agriculture in high school, I had no idea whether I removed symbiotic or poisonous weeds. And tilling while it is a rainy season is a faux pas. I never had an idea it would be terrible. The ground is usually sticky and it takes so much time because mounds of soil sticks on the hoe so that you need to much energy to cut through the ground if you don’t remove the soil. But it’s also a plus given that you only hit the ground once and you are good to go if there are no mounds. Apparently, you need to safeguard your eyes because you will intermittently have soil jetting into your eyes which means you have to adorn an eye gear as a safety measure.

In the long run, I made it. I finished tilling the land and also leveling the fence to my able best. Whether it was to standard, I am not giving a damn because there is no ISO to certify my work. Given that I was doing it to kill time, time that resulted from getting bored as a result of perusing. Because perusal is what resulted in me deciding to watch a movie. And I could easily relate with the jargon in ‘The Big Short’ because of having this privileged gen. Ideally, what drove me to tilling the land was because I was conned. Which we do once in a while. Like some guy may sell KICC just like Victor Lustig sold the Eiffel Tower.

Hitherto, I had never wanted to till but I saw it as some form of revenge. I must have been very bitter. There is this phony Facebook page that gave me hopes of finding the job of my dreams. But not everything is real as it turns out. Luckily, I never succumbed to their luscious connivery in terms of parting with sums of cash because I will never pay to be engaged in a job. A day later, I found an SMS I had not subscribed to directing me where to find jobs. Men the struggle is real.

You see, when you are sometimes in need of a job, you always think all the opportunities that come about are genuine. You seize them as they come. However, they are never the best opportunities. The best opportunities are those you initiate. Those that you have done some reliable research through carrying out feasibility studies (I loved the way guys who reaped big from short selling of CDOs and MBSes in The Big Short smiled all the way to the bank did their research). But we all fail to seize opportunities. Like every other bugger, I want security. That of being in a job knowing full well I will be paid at the end of the month. Yet when am paid, I don’t invest. I consume all the income forgetting that a rainy day is nigh. Or I should invest after doing some valuations of the investment I am to venture in.

The theory of everything. Can the youth forget about breaking bad to focus on breaking the illusion that they are just a bunch of couples who want to merry and never aid in contributing to the nations growth? That’s a fallacious argument BTW. Anyway, when you are in a quest for something, you will always find those things that relate to what you do and they contribute to ameliorating your ken in the field of perpetuation. Someone called it 10,000 hours’ rule. Some one hand me Outliers, authored by Malcolm Gladwell.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source:  My Own]

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