KEPSA-KYEP TRAINING: WHAT NEXT

How does one remain hopeful amid frustrations and disappointments he is going through in life?


The answer lies in nothing other than being steadfast, having a positive attitude and paying attention to what is good about your life. Life is unpredictable. A predictable one is again very boring and bland. Today is a king in disguise. Make hay while the sun shines.


There was this program started by the Kenyan government. It was in its sixth cycle of implementation. It was being executed by KEPSA-KYEP and funded by World Bank. It was to give the youth a chance of working in a corporate or jua kali setting, having a chance of getting a worthy employer and most of all, and earning while being taught on various facets of work place etiquette in the quest to being an intern. Internship would probably lead to a permanent job.


When such big names are involved in a project, it has to be venture that is highly credible and worth giving it a try. It was a program meant to provide a platform for young guys to hone their skills in becoming who they aspire to be. In Kenya, going straight into the career you desire in life is always tricky. You need to pull left, right and centre until you become content that what you are doing is actually what you are passionate about especially if you studied it.


The KEPSA-KYEP project had two phases. The first phase involved being trained in preparation for internship and the second involved going to the workplace after successfully passing an interview. The first phase was divided into three parts and took the longest. There is the commendable and worthy part which involved being trained on Life Skills albeit it should have been taught to those not yet conservative about life. Life Skills training was very transformative and did change many by equipping them with skills that were very essential. It was the best part of the training.


The second part was too somnolent. Being in a class where one has to act like a student for eight continuous hours in an detached one man show classes which left many daydreaming as a way of killing boredom. It was the Core Business Skills classes. Although it was a worthy aspect as part of a process, it was poorly executed because some of those who were facilitating the program did flout the rules of engagement. They made many feel indifferent and muggy because they disregarded the course manual they were to implement, focusing on what they thought was right even though they only read word for word on what they had been teaching in college.


The last part was being retrained on Life Skills, dubbed 'Advanced Life Skills' which was more of a recap of what was learnt in the first Life Skills training. It was a so-so venture. Not as serious as the first life skills training. 


You need to start from somewhere, even that somewhere can be quite a daunting task to find when everything looks bleak and far-fetched. My main intention of going through the program was to learn one or two things that would reshape my scope of thought. It was not an avenue of it being a means to an end. I had the freedom to decide on what I wanted. Ideally, I wanted to delegate some duties to worthwhile professionals who could adroitly do it because it was a challenge doing it on my own and they promised to deliver (which they did).


KEPSA program is not for the faint-hearted and those who never take risks. I liked it because I got to hear new stories, someone matching my skills with the right job as I did loll waiting for a response and meeting new people which was paramount as people are the source of stories. Stories I would never have heard had if I had continued with my quest in life of only applying for jobs, waiting for an automated reply, hoping things will be well and probably securing to be called to one or two interviews which are sometimes an effort in futility because Kenyans have become very cynic as potential employers sometimes want to give jobs to those they know or those experienced.


I must give credence where it deserves. The program was indeed an inspiration to many. It changed the attitude of many not forgetting the fact that it also imparted those who had no skills with the requisite avenue for gaining knowledge on aspects they had never known existed in life. Kudos there.


The objective of the project was well thought. Implementation was the only gaffe it had to address. KEPSA never came up with a proper mechanism of implementing the program. It was dragging too much. You take 5 months being trained on a process that should have lasted not more than two months. Most of the time, you are waiting. Waiting to attend an interview with a prospective employer (not employer but a place to do your internship) who has the prerogative to take or leave you. You are at the whims of both KEPSA and the prospective employer. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in the process.


Another folly is that you never choose who you want to work for. However, you have the chance of rejecting an offer if it is not in line with your career objective. Some out rightly rejected offers of which come to think of it, the prospects were offering a better leeway that could they could have harnessed if they were not all too cocky. At the end they would have thoroughly gained. 


Ralph Marston once wrote that, “The person you are inside, does not depend on the things happening on the outside. A life of success comes from remaining steadfast to your own purpose. And using, rather than being consumed by, the whims of circumstance.”


Indeed being yourself in this world that is trying to make you someone else is very tricky. You have to look at all the avenues to make it in life. When one does not work out, you find another that is rewarding. It is an accomplishment to stand erect amid the challenges bequeathed by Mother Nature. 


KEPSA still remains as an outstanding option as an avenue of empowering the youth in comparison to other programs you have to pay for. It offers what other programs that have been started by other body corporate have failed to abridge. It is free, you get paid even though the stipend is barely satisfactory, you get to network, find solace that you are not alone in the search for employment and most of all, you not only have a high chance of getting a job, but you improve on your CV because other than having a chance of attending interviews, it builds on ones self esteem and personal awareness among other components that one never really knew. Also those mercurial enough started companies and youth groups. Overall, it inspired many and opened new doors to a majority set for few who quit along the way. 


My friend Peter is one good example. He knew exactly how the whole project was to impact in his life. His main motivation was to attend, gain some skills, and help pass it on to other youths who needed the motivation to walk through the storm even when the weather was continuing to exacerbate. The job objective was not paramount to him as such. He had seen how the society back in his home was degenerating and he thought of using the knowledge acquired to better the society as a result of his engagement with other youth who had resigned to life’s fate. He was probably going to address their plight having gone to university and expanded his breadth of knowledge through this program because drugs were taking rein of a generation that is the future of the country and county not forgetting the high drop out rate because many see no need of going to school when you never secure a white collar job.


Hitherto, I had had a feeling that I was retrogressing and probably wasting my time while going through the project. Even in campus I sometimes felt like things were not working out. But I never did relent. I did surge on like I did with KEPSA. I remain hopeful that there is light at the end of the tunnel even though I have been lackluster in interviews which I realized am not very good at. I deserve a pat on the on the back which I will give myself for having been steadfast persevering amid vexations that life bestows.


On the flip side, KEPSA had its own challenges. While some people were going for interviews, others were never attending. Some got placed in places they had no clue even though KEPSA insisted they had filled a form on their academic capabilities which forced them to find these young men and women a place that matched their skills. Some went for interviews only to be told they had not been scheduled for such.


Also, the number of people they were dealing with was kind of overwhelming. As such, they could not effectively meet the deadline as there was spillover, meaning those who had not got internship in time had to wait. A value that many lack. Patience pays, but many a youth want a quick exit plan to the next stage (I am part of them only that I am never rigid. I know the essence of growth).


What’s more, I have been thinking, what if I qualified to be an intern in the jobs I was to undertake. Would I not have been well placed to have a good exit strategy that would have been effective in executing my action plan. 


I wish my eyes would have not given me a set back (I am shortsighted). I would have gone to the police recruitment exercise today and tried my lack in starting a career in being a cop. Haisulu. There is always a way in this life. Maybe, I should look into the bigger picture. Who knows, the fight has been one challenge that is very good and worth every bit of it.


Verdict on KEPSA-KYEP.   

I will not endeavour to besmirch the whole exercise. Obviously, there are those who talk ill while in a way they did benefit. In comparison to those who have found a place to start off to those who have not, it is prudent to recognize the efforts of those who work tirelessly to ameliorate the lives of the youth. Those who felt betrayed, you always got something. Even if it means increasing your phone-book size, that is a benefit. Joining a whatsapp group that helps in keeping you posted on what’s trending, jobs, alerting on what is on offer, insecurity and those videos that make you laugh out loud. I bet the list is endless.


The incubators of the idea should have gone further and forewarned that it is not absolute to graduate. I wish I would have addressed each and every issue but my perspective is not as wide as that of a group, I may have faltered in being brisk and brazen. From the facilities of choice, the facilitators, the cheap food (I could not come to terms with eating chicken at Sh. 50, why lie). Knowing new people, seeing beautiful ladies who are also giving men a run for their money, receiving money you wish you could save but can’t because it is so meager. However, listening to the stories of others, those who have made it and those still trying, those who had lost hope but their river reemerged because KEPSA offered them the water to replenish it. 


If only the project could be given a new lease, reducing on the drop out rate because it was too high, then, it would have gained the right traction to project the youth at a trajectory of ensuring they fulfill their dreams. In the meantime, life continues, lessons learnt, mistakes made and wisdom gained is what gives life its wholesomeness.


SITUONANE.


[Photo Source: Google Images]

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WHEN KEMU CAME CALLING.

Dan Ariely quipped that, “We are pawns in a game whose forces we largely fail to comprehend”.

Ever wondered what happens in KEMU Towers that is along University Way and directly opposite Ambank House. Well I had always had the same issue boggling my mind for more than half a decade. While I was a student at the nearby Main Campus, I had always had this hanker of knowing what was happening behind the imposing structure. The only contact I had with the building was the fast food restaurant that sold unpalatable fries and a couple of snacks and junk that my appetence could not savour as the chow only qualified to being sec.

Hitherto, the building had always thrilled the design crave I ceaselessly had albeit it just being a stone through away. However the interior was too bland upon entry and the intrinsic values that I had assumed it had, all but ended up being an antithesis or say counterintuitive because it was used by students.
 
In high school, I had always had a passion for being an architect, but as circumstances would dictate, I studied a course I had an abortive period with while in Campus. In fact there was a former Starch student whom I knew who was doing architecture and the fact that he was lamenting of only scoring straight Ds in exams was quite appalling. I did pity him, but he had vowed never to fail again. I doubt if he stuck to the regimen of perusal because his flirty behavior was quite surfeit.

“So many kiosk universities have mushroomed in Nairobi in the recent past.” I recall one of our lecturers while a first year student speaking ill of and bad-mouthing the universities that were being housed on buildings that had formerly served as offices. Then as now, every form-four leaver wanted an association with Nairobi, especially the central business district. I bet that was the reason why many of them had started town campuses. To cash in on the many employees who wanted papers and the growing number of students who could not be accommodated in the congested public universities. And true to its billing and owing to matters liquidity, the quest for knowledge in universities is a goldmine that never ceases to bring in more gem. I should invest in a university.

As a former student in a public university, we had been brainwashed that we were the best students in the country having qualified to join the university. I remember a student leader boisterously making sense of words of how our campus was the place to be, the elixir of life in matters academics. You would imagine that upon completion of studies, employers would be hot on your heels in need of your services because apparently the university was the best in the country. Bulshit, if it were so, many of us would not be among the class of jobless graduates who are in search for internship (which I went for an interview for and failed like a genius having gone for swimming exams) because like Duale said, “Hii kazi si ya mamako” when teachers refused to go back to be recklessly butchered by a militia that seeks revenge through human souls. As a person with no contacts you start from somewhere.

Flash-forward and five years down the line, I am still jostling like a real Nairobi hustler hoping that someday lady luck will smile on me and I will reap the benefits of the roots of education. But even though I am not complaining, I want to transcend this apathy apace but hitting the jack-pot of being a proletariat has been a confounding tussle. I am indeed fed up with cyclical unemployment.

A blind respect for authority is sometimes the greatest enemy of truth. No matter how much I have tried, I find it sometimes too tiring sitting behind a computer. Just to type words that sometimes I am not passionate about. That was a by the way.

Life has ways in which it balances out everything that a person has to go through. Sometimes we crave for that which is beyond our might, which is right. Why? David tackled Goliath and he was successful in it. He used a weapon chastised for being less substantial in making one run out of time on earth. But it led to the fall of a giant.

When seeking knowledge, it doesn’t matter how smart you are in life. Knowledge is power, and should be appreciated for the sole reason that they better humanity. There is always something new that one gets in a classroom setting. Again going to class breaks the monotony of solitude and gives one a better perspective about life in general. You realize that you are in fact not alone in the dilemma of making ends meet.

Indeed, classes in Kemu were more skill oriented as opposed to being academic. Being in Kemu classes was an eight hour day of mindless drudgery. However, there were a few facilitators who gave a text-book approach by reading notes while in essence they should have given those attending the courses skills through endeavoring to inculcate practical ways of going about life situations. Some were very interesting.

Ideally, the youth generation is in need of skills that are quite deficient in them (peer pressure and hopelessness may kill this generation which should be the future of our country). This has led many to be vexed as a result of going through a tumultuous journey when they are not getting to the next level as quickly as desired.  

On the flipside, I must give the Kemu security detail a thumbs up for what they did in ensuring the institution is well secured. Their sentries and security detail were thorough. Entry entailed having a name tag or knowledge of the office where you were going. Frisking was done using metal detectors and even though I sometimes did doubt the severity of the gadgets, they in a way curbed crime to some extent.
However, there was a certain CID officer who told me he occasionally bypassed the scrutiny even though he had his gat concealed under his belt.

Then there were these Naswa crew who loved filming their caught unawares videos next to the towers along university way. Somehow, we had got wind of them and even though they tried had to NASA us, theirs were efforts in futility. We were too nifty for them. The first persons we usually spotted were the cameraman and the support staff who made a barrier to hide the camera from view. The problem with the cameraman was that he never let another person handle his gadget. As such, if you were a regular, you easily noticed them because they came at a time when we were having a short break from the monotonous classes that I felt were eating into my precious time.

One of their acts that caught my eye was a hobo who subconsciously approached some ladies and they ran helter skelter because they feared they would be smeared with excretion from the open executive chambers of release. He was carrying a dirty sack that was filth grey. Since we were aware of what was happening, we had to giggle. However some betrayed us as they sounded more like an evil cackle than an expression of amusement when they could not suppress the chortle hence bursting into loud laughter.

But there was one pastor who was role playing pretending to be praying like the ubiquitous fake preachers in Jevanjee or next to Hilton or near Archives. The ones with the ulterior motive of collecting alms from the unsuspecting public. And he did it as he took out an offertory collection bag and started soliciting from those unaware. This Naswa preacher was however not successful with the act as someone on the frustration benches near Kemu which we had branded our DSTV (to check out on the babes and cars) was almost slapped by a job-seeking vagrant whose visage had the wrinkles of a wretched chap even though he was trying hard to shrug and pretend stoicism.

One of my pals, Willy, was once a comrade in this campus (Kemu) and was able to help me  to cascade the building in detail. Like we sometimes went to the rooftop to bangaiz and eclipse from others. It was either to watch TV or just engaging in palaver about our frustrations with our predicaments and how someone was taking us for a ride.

Mark you, there are chaps in Kemu (Kemu comrades) have this flair of feeling hyper. Always twanging in some borrowed accents and feeling dope even though they adorn phony haute couture and cleats and quoins that give them some lackadaisical posture because they try to act that which they are not. Who knows, fake it till you make it. Life is what you make it.

Something about the ladies though. I never knew that some ladies are just plain Janes.  For once I appreciated the notion that even if a lady is not a looker, a little bit of makeup would just be fine, even research collaborates the same. Like there was a certain chic with very dark fingers that were also sandpaper like, you had the feeling she was either from Kano plains or Mwea because I have a feeling the combination of water and the plants leads to the sore distasteful look and feel.

The choice of Kemu for classes was a very bad decision. The general ambience of the rooms does not auger well for a classroom set up. Especially when the loo cleaners have not acted on the small rooms and the weather is torrid and the scorching heat from the sun meant that the door should be ajar. The classes should have at least been equipped with a fan to counter the stifling air to reduce exhaustion because the choice of glass used was a disaster albeit the fact that it should have contributed to placid air conditioning. Again the classes had very few windows which contributed to the rooms at times being stuffy since there was controlled ventilation.

Then there were Kemu elections. While I had though of it being intense. The candidates contesting for posts were callow and the air was not as tense as elections should be. One did not get the feeling of the euphoria that characterizes such occasions. One of my friends had a hot curvaceous chic who was a platonic friend. He wanted me to hit on her. She was contesting. She wanted us to go vote for her during the plebiscite (sic) but we couldn’t. The reason why I failed to hit on her was because she was material girl and my wallet was wallowing in aridity plus it being a Friday.

SITUONANE

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ATTITUDE: A REQUISITE IN LIFE

Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened.”

If you have a job, you are through with the ask part. Probably, you have to act on the seeking and being opened the doors of your endeavours. 

Translating the bible is not what I am good at. If I was, my debut in the seminary would not have been an issue. I would have long gone there and hid myself behind the “Holy Walls” and immersed myself in the whole journey of ordination and proclamation of the gospel; prostration, anointing hands, giving of the chalice and paten and sign of peace. That oath of celibacy was what I cannot contend with.

However I had some disturbing stories of some of those popery priests and they are disconcerting.

Joinno Ten. I give it up to this man for his mastery of deception. If you want to manipulate people into buying your ideas, don’t be too boisterous and puerile. This especially applies to situations where individuals are not children who only think hypothetically instead of abstractly and intensively. This situation is usually untenable and  void unless you aptly have cognizance of the people you are dealing with to be of hunker down intellectual viscosity.

Any man who engages in conmanship should back it up with the way he dresses and also in his general mien, not forgetting to be as realistic as possible.

Joinno Ten, not his real name is a lecturer in Daystar University. He has a strong bias for business and he said he was in the process of clearing his PHD. That was a very good overture owing to the fact that he wanted to be a good tutor on core business skills.

“I am single and born-again.” Those were his first words upon entry into our class (job searching led me to a job training class). “I am standing in for your lecturer who has been held up somewhere.”

Impression matters. It is said that irrespective of what you do, the first 15 seconds of how you conduct yourself matters to people who have never seen you. Video evidence also corroborates the same as has been found out in most research carried out.

“There is a difference between lecturing in a public university and training students like you for the job market. I am not here to lecture; I am here to train you on the business skills required in the job market. I want to change your attitude. Yes to make you look at the bigger picture.”

“I love marketing. You were taught there are two Ps that matter in marketing; people and place. There are ideally 4 Ps in marketing. Product, Place, Price and Promotion. ”

He went on and intimidated on a practical approach on how the four Ps in marketing work. 

I was impressed. I am that kind of person who likes seating on the right wing. And on that day he had influenced my emotions ideally in the sense that the emotional part of the brain is located on the right side.

While Joinno Ten was to facilitate on human resource management, he told us he had a passion for marketing and he therefore dwelt a tad on the topic. 

“I came up with the course manual of this program. I don’t like lecturing, not when students are looking at their watches waiting for the time when the lecturer will finish lecturing.”

I must commend Joinno Ten for being such a lively lecturer. He made two and a half hours have a segue flow as one never easily noticed that he was lecturing. It was engaging and fun listening to him (better than the lecturer he was standing in for). The anecdotes that he sneaked in occasionally while the lecture was in progress were delectable and invigorating.

“My nine year old daughter has a bank account with Sh.987000. She has her own car and knows the essence of managing it. In the meantime, I have told her that the car is mine but registered under her name.  I don’t want these Nairobi men to come cheat her when she has come of age with their small toys to hoodwink her using their cheap contraptions. In fact, she is well taken care of academically since the insurance cover I have taken for her lasts for the next ten years. I am paying a hefty sum for the same and I want her covered till the first four years of completing university”

Meanwhile, I was getting curious. This man was looking disheveled but dolce in his harangue. The kind you see on the streets preaching to earn a living when in reality they want fare back home having seen the gullibility of those seated on the frustration benches and their ease of giving if well motivated. He was lanky and looked elderly from afar even though his talk was grandiose and pompous. His bespectacled face looked funny since he had huge metallic rimmed spectacles since his face was thin making him look like a cartoon. Again his protruding high cheek bones gave the impression that he was indeed struggling to make ends meet. His visage did not accentuate the figures he was brandishing though. His belt was kind of cheap and the shoes looked dusty not forgetting the slightly torn trouser at near his zipper if one had a closer scrutiny. 

You can change Sh.1000 into millions. All you need to do is to effectively use the 4 Ps taught in marketing and you are good to go. When you know your temperaments, it’s easier to relate with people. But who wakes up every morning to read on the temperaments s/he got and relates them to the people he engages in business with.

“The journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. I realized there is so much potential in the place I stayed. Being ingenuous, I hired the services of a cobbler who has been selling me Safaricom scratch cards for the past four years. I only buy him two cups of tea and two mandazi and he does the duty like a routine.” He did some quick calculation and from it, 

he earned a net of Sh.35000 after deducting all expenses.

“In fact when I usually go to collect my cash at the end of the day, if he has other things to attend to, he ceases doing them and attends to me. ‘Professor,’ he calls me. ‘Here is your money’. We then chat for a while before I leave for my house in Mountain View.”

“There are three thieves in this world. The hobos who smear their hands with stools and try to rob you off your money. The thugs who come to your house, or those who rob you in a matatu.”

“In fact the matatu  doli capax have ingenous ways of robbing commuters since they usually alarm those they are seated next to belt up through falsifying that the cops are a stone throw away while in reality, they are charlatans who are also equally kleptomaniacs. Their intention is normally to keep you involved as they steal from you while you are tying your belt. The third thief is none other than Joinno Ten. But I am very silled and like Safaricom, I do it subtly.” 

“Talking of matatus, since I have done marketing, I know what commuters want. I ensure that my matatu has shock absorbers each worth Sh.20000 and the rims rotate each time it is revving ready for leaving. Whenever it is waiting or passengers, it bounces up and down like a cock does on seeing a hen. It parks next to Graffins in Westie and has a loyal clientele that has become accustomed to it that they can patiently wait for it as it makes its way to town and back.”

“Nganya yako inaitwa aje.” I asked.

“Don’t worry. I have done law and psychology. I have financial management skills and can easily influence the thoughts of most of those I employ. Here is how I have been able to be rich while exploiting human capital.

I usually tell my drivers that I only want Sh.4000 every day. That amounts to a cool Sh.1200000 in a month. In a year I am able to make 1.2 million after deduction of all expenses. What do I tell my driver? I tell him if he is able to give me sh.4000, after four years, the matatu becomes his. This prompts the chap to work twice or thrice as hard. Before the end of the day, I am able to make about sh.9000 because the sh.4000 is usually in my account by 1000hrs. I am getting rich quicker. While it would have taken me four years to make 5 million. I make it in less than 2 and a half years. ” 

Joinno is not in the business of lecturing for money. While most lecturers are in the business to get money, he was in it to change the attitude of youthful Kenyans who are deficient of skills but full of hypothetico-deductive knowledge which they don’t know where to apply because firms have become too stringent with the experience requirement.

Someone should come up with a course in university called experience. It will be a booming business as most youths have the knowledge but lack experience. Repeated knowledge and workmanship in some contexts add no value especially if the skills required are the same. A seasoned individual may possess the knowledge which may not have been augmented to handle the emerging trends while some rookies in the industry; train and even go for further training to acquire professional skills complete with the knowledge on current trends in the industry and still there are no jobs for the youth. Some analogue companies especially in the private sector hold onto the senile men and women who probably never know that their time is nigh. Still, they never retire. Some even know how to adjust their ages so that they are young forever. Those who work in the immigration industry have a way of easing this desire.

“My matatu is never stopped by the police. All the policemen in Westlands know me. Some even stop my matatu to the curb when it is empty even in places where passengers are not carried so that it can carry them because it is a car high on demand. It has a very wide screen inside. Since I know how to market, I also ensure it has the latest music and free Wi-Fi password glares at a passenger upon entry.” He continued.

“I have taught my daughter how to make money and save. Every Sunday, she calls the cab driver of her car to take her to the swimming pool. She needs not call me. She bought herself an Iphone 6 upon release in the market because she can afford it. Each time she goes for her swimming, she knows that the income from the cab business is forgone. I have taught her about opportunity cost. Again, she never swims in these polluted and congested swimming pools which are not heated when it gets cold, she goes to those located in high end five star hotels or to places she is invited because of her social class in society.”

He told us that he has taught her daughter responsibility. She washes her own dish after eating even though he has several domestic mangers. Her daughter never goes to the Kenyan education system. Her performance in British system was encouraging and motivating. She was mostly top of her class and that meant she was aware of most of the things children her age were not aware of. 

Her daughter had her own laptop and Ipad (I only got my PC when I got to campus). She knew what brand she liked and had settled on Apple products because of the aura of sophistication they portrayed. Every Tuesday and Friday were days when she was taken for Pizza. 

At that point, my suspicion was proved right. Tuesday and Friday are days meant for the plebeians to go and partake of the chow as they are offered in doubles hence those whose financial muscles are not brawn can be able to go and relish. 

Why? The few times I have gone for the same are quite different from the normal regular days when such offers are not offered. You will not have to wait for long hours before being served and the quality of what you are offered is usually very high and worth each and every penny spent. Undeniably, anything on offer is usually of very low quality if the price is slashed to half or the good is sale by date and the stocks are either not moving.

“I was teaching my prospective wife in a lecture like this and decide to use some out of the box seductive skills to ensure ‘ameingia box yangu.’ I did ask her ten things she liked about her brother and father. I was quietly noting them down. When she was through, I started aping what she had told me about the two. Since I never wanted to let the cat out of the bag, I convinced her to go out with me on a date so that she could be able to see my fiancé. She easily agreed for the date. Twenty minutes into the date, my fiancé was not insight. After about half an hour, I called my date. And do you know who I was calling. I was calling her and she was seated next to me.”

The lady was flattered and smitten and with no time she was her girlfriend and later she became his wife. He had taught her medical doctor wife in Daystar University. She mostly worked during the night shift in KNH. Do some doctors work only during the nightshift or the profession has no shifts? One of our personal doctors who signed my letters to join a certain institution told me that he was just from the wards and sulked at how he had to work tirelessly as a doctor. Sometimes he had to do without sleep.

“Kenyan men don’t know how to treat their ladies. Up until now, I have to open the door of my car to let my wife in. She also does the same to me when I have to drive in her car. That way, we have been able to remain as wife and husband for a very long time.”

Joinno was a good story teller. He told us that he never gives lectures on some of the things students can easily find on Google. As such, he told us to go and google the answers to some of the questions we were required to have gen on. But most lecturers hate pulling info directly from the internet. They abhor it because it is a rival to their eke. Again, that amounts to plagiarism. 

When the lecture came to an end, I exited and went to the Gents with my friends where we laughed and the careful choice of stories by Joinno Ten. However we were in agreement that he was a good storyteller. With regard to the authenticity of the stories, they were as cheap as the tie he wore, probably an acquisition from G-Mall (Gikomba).

We ‘chambuad’ him and came to a conclusion that he could make a good pastor in down town Nairobi. What with his braggadocio on his adeptness in writing people winning CVs and Cover letters.

All in all, the next day, the genuine lecturer came and intimated on the ease of getting lecturers in Nairobi for a paltry sum. I looked at my friend and smiled. Joinno Ten was actually a hustler (high chances are). And he was full of wishful thinking.

SITUONANE.

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