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Ever
imagined being bought a bottle of beer while having a great time in the waters,
say a small lake, or being served food while cozying on top of a floating
restaurant by a flunky who rows a canoe holding a course with paddles?
If
you consistently write, you will sometimes find it tricky to have killer
opening lines in your write-up to hook on your readers. Every scribe knows full
well that he or she has to ensure the message is driven home using the first
few words.
That was a detour. As such allow me to decode. Can I annul
to the fact that I have adopted middle-class mediocrity with the idea of
frequenting joints in order to while away time when an opportunity arises when
it is an all-expenses paid lunch in a hotel.
Less than two years ago, I was at Steadmak gardens, Karen.
I was initially scheduled to attend a wedding at the venue in April which was
graced by our home county senator (not the Nairobi one). On the contrary, I
never attended because my campus project was acting like this elephant in the
room that I needed to address. So as a matter of fact, I never made it to
Steadmak.
Three months later, I was able to be freed off campus
baggage and I had all the time in the world to indulge in that which would kill
the spare time that I had on my sleeves. Hanging out.
Alas! Hitherto, I had not meticulously thought of taking
my ability in terms of penmanship to the next level. Maybe I would have
reviewed this restaurant then. I was still having hallucinogenic dreams of
joining a body corporate to kick start a career in any field of repute with a
pay package rivaling my old-man’s as long as it could make me independent. Now
my creativity seamlessly sews together different aspects of my subconscious. As
such, I am indifferent as to matters pertaining to joining in and being a
proletariat. Maybe I will be one. Sooner. God willing.
The first time I was in Steadmak it was quite a fun filled
experience. There were few guests and the ambiance was quite serenaded. It was
like taking a breather away from the city. Back then, it was still undergoing construction
which was in advanced stages. However, nothing has changed in the two years I
have intermittently gone there. We did check the hotel rooms, went to the
swimming pool, and requested to see the birds, but upon being told they are
paid for, we changed our minds.
Since it had just started, using the floating restaurants
was free of charge. Allow me to say that Tujuane show on KTN was a major
influence as to the reason why I had wanted to go visit the restaurant.
Steadmak gardens offers great ambiance and a luxury
gateway from the hustle that is the city if I were to write a decent review. It
is secluded in a kind of remote setting away from the chocking fumes of the
traffic that goes by almost without break. I love the fact that it also caters
for children who may feel disenchanted just eating and listening to music on a
floating restaurant. There is a smaller version of an Amusement Park with
trains, horses, see saws, bouncing castles among other sources of entertainment
to fascinate those who may become obstinate as you imbibe liquor or frolic carelessly
with your better quarter.
Currently the price of a single floating restaurant ranges
from 2 k to 5 k depending on the depth of your pockets or width of your wallet
exclusive of food. Which is relatively fair. The floating restaurant are more
than inviting, there is a certain cool breeze inside that unnerves a clogged
mind so that you feel pampered in a relaxed sensation. The one in which Nairobi Diaries was filmed in is cozy and the
aura is filled with soothing music. The leather seats inside adds to its
vivacity and desired comfort if you have a mama you want to please. My younger sister
told me such places wow an average lady even if it means just getting inside
and drinking a glass of water. So long as your loose vibes are complemented by
the probity of being overgenerous with mullahs.
Anyway, I did not find the food that sumptuous. And many
reviews of the place can corroborate this. The problem is that you need to book
in advance as you may end up waiting for long as they have no ready food like
the fast food joints I frequent on Tom Mboya Street. Plus the price of meals are
highly exaggerated here. Most times I have gone to Steadmak, now thrice, I have
had a wonderful experience, but not with food. There is a Christmas I went
there and the best thing about it was that I ended up being a lackey,
collecting food for my family and since I was free to serve as the waiters or
chefs were tired for having worked continuously, I found it was a terrific experience.
I took adequate or the write word to use is copious amounts. If I had taken the
rationed quantity, maybe we would have gone back to the digs having that
feeling of, "Tulionja tu". Plus we ate late, when the all the tender
parts had reached omega levels and those being brought having been half cooked.
Since we had to wait for long before we got our food, the hunger pangs on my
belly decided that I could help out with service.
This year, we were doing a birthday inside one of the
floating restaurants. In the money stifled month of January. I was told Sundays are family themed days hence
like most joints it is advisable to go there on a weekday if you want to feel
the full impact of the place. Apparently, I got a parking spot at an unlikely
place. A place you never will get space to park when business is booming. So,
January is not a bed of roses.
The
most spectacular moment was when a certain musician came to our restaurant and
played the trumpet for the birthday girl, my niece. The sounds were vivid, magnificent
and brilliant. The symphony especially the mellow and smooth sound of the clichéd
“Happy Birthday to you” was
breathtaking. Played forte, notes in this register are sonorous and rounded. There
is something about music that gives life even if you feel like you have spent a
so much.
Later,
looking at the pictures of the guy who was playing the trumpet, I could not see
his visage, he had dexterously concealed them using his cap like Frasha in the
early days of P-Unit. Then the guy started calling me ‘Ababu’ because am bespectacled
and had shaved in a way similar to the politician. He had a the characteristic costarian
accent and told us he knew it was the month of vacuity and whatever little we
had, he would appreciate.
‘Naona
nyi ni wasomi kweli, nikiwaona naona muna degree na masters. Mimi
mamangu hakuwa nacho ikabidi niache shule mapema’ he told us.
If
he knew only knew yes I am a jobless graduate and penniless one for that
matter. I presumed he made close to 5 K on that sunny day in January having
confessed that business was still catching up owing to the many tables he went
to.
His
music was just great, why lie, you can die for more (sic).
I must confess I love places with less noise, guess I gave
aged. Anyplace that has din irritates me like s°°t. So, for a bugger like me,
it is just fair that I go to social places when the numbers are less. That way
I can get preferential treatment as opposed to when people are in multitudes
and the servers never even bother with your order or find you like any other person.
But giving them that tip cheers them up and in any case, I usually strive to
give them one. Especially fine looking damsels who primordially look at you and
have to serve you thinking you can be the Mr. Right they are after.
Verdict: If you are planning to go to a new place, then, Steadmak Gardens would be a wonderful place to sample, however, if you are someone who loves eating and as a result you have developed a fine taste for food and therefore a connoisseur in matters chow, you will be highly disappointed by the cuisine. But if an ale imbiber, its the best place especially on a hot Saturday afternoon with a group of buddies if you hire a floating restaurant.
Hasta
La Vista, Baby.
[Photo
Source: Steadmak Gardens website]
