 |
I once fell in class while the lecturer had taken a brief
commercial break to down some H2O as it was a hot smothering afternoon
lecture. Chances are I was having teenage daydreams that were celluloid induced
or I was in artificial stupor. Talk of a guy who had had superhero thoughts
imbued with a sense of wide-eyed wonder as a result of watching too much movies
before going to university.
It was a two hour lecture which usually took forever as I had not yet got acclimatized to the campus lectures yet (2 years of staying at home without going to class). I was a freshman who loved stories and the lectures being boring, I had mistakenly turned back only to fall like a sack of maize hurled by a porter in the silo.
It was a two hour lecture which usually took forever as I had not yet got acclimatized to the campus lectures yet (2 years of staying at home without going to class). I was a freshman who loved stories and the lectures being boring, I had mistakenly turned back only to fall like a sack of maize hurled by a porter in the silo.
Luckily, I am a swift guy as I quickly rose up and only those near
were able to notice that I had fallen down. As a macho guy, I gave the ladies
around that look that even if they wanted to laugh at my predicament, they kept
quiet WITH THEIR HANDS IN MOUTH to block the imminent. Very few laughed apart
from my pals who openly did it because it was unusual for a person to fall in
class.
Later when I narrated the story during our weekly BS meeting to
some pals, a classmate who never knew that I was the guy who had fallen down
laughed at me because all along she only knew that a guy had fallen in class
but his whereabouts were unknown.
Three years later, I was doing my final year. While many merry at
doing their last semester in campus, ours was the opposite. It had everything
to do with a research project that was a real headache (actually it was a pain
the ass). Every second semester of fourth year, students had to do a research
paper and this was really a nightmare for some of us who got strict
supervisors. The synopsis part, done before proceeding to doing the actual
research under the guidance of a supervisory lecturer took some students more
than five months to complete.
Research is also not that easy. No wonder some students pay experienced guys to carry out the whole thing while they only cram the important sections that they need to present to the lecturer.
Research is also not that easy. No wonder some students pay experienced guys to carry out the whole thing while they only cram the important sections that they need to present to the lecturer.
In our school due to a large number of students, we were supposed
to carry out our research paper in a group of five students.
For our group, our supervising lecturer had to cancel three of the research projects for lack of data in the first instance. The second was because the research question was beyond our scope as undergraduates and the third was something due to poor research on the topic of interest. We were frustrated and it is the fourth project proposal that we were able to do because we had heavily consulted even with former students and guys doing their masters. Indeed finding data for an econometric test in the country can be daunting task as much as they are time consuming. Data is so scarce in the country indeed.
There is a lady friend of mine who used to put her group on toes including my male friends and she would even scold them if they never did their research work aptly like a fiery mother or a boss when you do something wrong. That she had standards was not in denial. She had kaliad those boys chapatti, for real. And they respected her like students do a very fierce teacher while in primary school.
For our group, our supervising lecturer had to cancel three of the research projects for lack of data in the first instance. The second was because the research question was beyond our scope as undergraduates and the third was something due to poor research on the topic of interest. We were frustrated and it is the fourth project proposal that we were able to do because we had heavily consulted even with former students and guys doing their masters. Indeed finding data for an econometric test in the country can be daunting task as much as they are time consuming. Data is so scarce in the country indeed.
There is a lady friend of mine who used to put her group on toes including my male friends and she would even scold them if they never did their research work aptly like a fiery mother or a boss when you do something wrong. That she had standards was not in denial. She had kaliad those boys chapatti, for real. And they respected her like students do a very fierce teacher while in primary school.
I was a group of guys who were kind of don't cares. We only had a single
lady who apart from apologizing for usually being late by buying us freebies
each time we met, she was cute and one of the group members had this licentious
appetite for what her mama gave her. I aint sure whether they managed to
exchange documents. Oh! Exchanging documents is a term coined by a former don
so that ladies could easily give dudes what they wanted without undergoing the
long process (3 months normally).
One day, we decided to meet in my room to carry out research. However, on that fateful day, things were happening at the neighbouring room and we decided to head to ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). It is the unfinished hideous and grotesque building that has produced some of the best architects, surveyors and designers the country has managed to produce. I hope they are not the guys who draw those building that normally fall down in Eastlands every year.
Upon arrival, we found it full and there were no seats we could be able to use as every room was occupied by guys. We were only two out of the five group members; Mike and I. Working with groups is a very tricky affair. You may call for a meeting and find that a guy was somewhere with his girlfriend in Githurai quenching his thirst. It is worse when some of those members are pretending practicing and strict Christians and they have to be committed to Church, their men and women and the group at the same time. When the five of you meet, you say Hallelujah! It only happens after a lot of pleading and coercion.
Since ADD was full, we thought of going to Mike's place but again hostel rooms are tricky. There is always that guy who wants to borrow salt, that guy who will pretend not to indulge you in stories while you are doing research but at the end of the day you deviate from the norm and chat as guys have the latest 411. There is also the aroma of someone cooking some sumptuous delicacy or drinking with friends or making out with his mama.
As such I thought of Main Campus where we could be able to do the research especially in the School of Business section for it was past 2000hrs and lectures usually end around that time. Again we need not to use those Internet cables as the place had very fast Wi-Fi.
So two dude were on their way to do research. We went to a classroom where internet speed is faster and you can also watch YouTube. Kenyans in general love watching videos, even in cyber cafes. Very few will go and waste time reading a blog or an e-book when they have free internet. Some perverts however access the xxx sites while alone in cyber cafe that offer a lot of privacy.
Unluckily in most educational institutions unless you know how to hack some sites. You can never access some of those x-rated sites where you can watch videos.
One day, we decided to meet in my room to carry out research. However, on that fateful day, things were happening at the neighbouring room and we decided to head to ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). It is the unfinished hideous and grotesque building that has produced some of the best architects, surveyors and designers the country has managed to produce. I hope they are not the guys who draw those building that normally fall down in Eastlands every year.
Upon arrival, we found it full and there were no seats we could be able to use as every room was occupied by guys. We were only two out of the five group members; Mike and I. Working with groups is a very tricky affair. You may call for a meeting and find that a guy was somewhere with his girlfriend in Githurai quenching his thirst. It is worse when some of those members are pretending practicing and strict Christians and they have to be committed to Church, their men and women and the group at the same time. When the five of you meet, you say Hallelujah! It only happens after a lot of pleading and coercion.
Since ADD was full, we thought of going to Mike's place but again hostel rooms are tricky. There is always that guy who wants to borrow salt, that guy who will pretend not to indulge you in stories while you are doing research but at the end of the day you deviate from the norm and chat as guys have the latest 411. There is also the aroma of someone cooking some sumptuous delicacy or drinking with friends or making out with his mama.
As such I thought of Main Campus where we could be able to do the research especially in the School of Business section for it was past 2000hrs and lectures usually end around that time. Again we need not to use those Internet cables as the place had very fast Wi-Fi.
So two dude were on their way to do research. We went to a classroom where internet speed is faster and you can also watch YouTube. Kenyans in general love watching videos, even in cyber cafes. Very few will go and waste time reading a blog or an e-book when they have free internet. Some perverts however access the xxx sites while alone in cyber cafe that offer a lot of privacy.
Unluckily in most educational institutions unless you know how to hack some sites. You can never access some of those x-rated sites where you can watch videos.
Mike took out his PC and so did I as were carried out our
research. We were so engrossed in the research and only realized that the last
person who closes the building had locked us in. I went running after him upon
hearing the sounds of the padlock being locked.
On arrival, he was already gone. I tried calling him, "Boss Boss unatufungia hapa ndani." My voice was not audible enough. I even shook the metal see through me door but he could not hear me. I only hard the decrescendo of his footsteps as he went away.
I went back to Mike who was probably exchanging niceties with his many girlfriends since he was on whatsapp as he was no longer researching.
"Boss tunalala hapa leo," I told him.
"Kuwa serious, yani huyo mtu ametufungia," Mike said contritely.
At that point, he decided to go call the sentries. Never mind that the bugger has a small piercing voice like that of a cat that meows on being kicked. His voice was not loud enough. Since the room we were in was directly opposite the library, we waited for guys who were heading to or exiting from the library to call them to tell the sentries that we were trapped inside. We could not be able to jump. We were on the third floor and even if we tried, KNH section that deals with those with broken limbs is where we would have ended up in.
One dude was able to alert a sentry who came only to confirm that we were really trapped and confirmed our worst fears; spending the night.
After some minutes a sentry came.
"Nyinyi malikuwa wakifanya nini muko ndani?" He asked in his heavy jeng accent.
"Tulikuwa tunafanya research, Soldier. Sisi ni fourth years" Mike replied.
"Hebu nione ID senu kwansa."
We did show him our school IDs even though I was not using mine. He never checked the faces as it was darker. I had lost my ID and was using a friend’s as I was to return it later and because my former ID was already rendered useless upon expiry. I had applied for a new one in the meantime.
"Sasa mimi awesi saidia nyinyi. Huyo mtu nasaenda nyumbani na sina namba yake."
"Lakini si unaweza ambia mkubwa wako ampigie simu arudi juu bado inakaa ako within town?" I asked him.
"Hio siwesi, kijana changu." He said resigned.
We continued chatting for about ten minutes. In the end, he left us still behind bars, locked up while we had not expected it. Locked up in a lonely place and it was beginning to become cold inside.
On arrival, he was already gone. I tried calling him, "Boss Boss unatufungia hapa ndani." My voice was not audible enough. I even shook the metal see through me door but he could not hear me. I only hard the decrescendo of his footsteps as he went away.
I went back to Mike who was probably exchanging niceties with his many girlfriends since he was on whatsapp as he was no longer researching.
"Boss tunalala hapa leo," I told him.
"Kuwa serious, yani huyo mtu ametufungia," Mike said contritely.
At that point, he decided to go call the sentries. Never mind that the bugger has a small piercing voice like that of a cat that meows on being kicked. His voice was not loud enough. Since the room we were in was directly opposite the library, we waited for guys who were heading to or exiting from the library to call them to tell the sentries that we were trapped inside. We could not be able to jump. We were on the third floor and even if we tried, KNH section that deals with those with broken limbs is where we would have ended up in.
One dude was able to alert a sentry who came only to confirm that we were really trapped and confirmed our worst fears; spending the night.
After some minutes a sentry came.
"Nyinyi malikuwa wakifanya nini muko ndani?" He asked in his heavy jeng accent.
"Tulikuwa tunafanya research, Soldier. Sisi ni fourth years" Mike replied.
"Hebu nione ID senu kwansa."
We did show him our school IDs even though I was not using mine. He never checked the faces as it was darker. I had lost my ID and was using a friend’s as I was to return it later and because my former ID was already rendered useless upon expiry. I had applied for a new one in the meantime.
"Sasa mimi awesi saidia nyinyi. Huyo mtu nasaenda nyumbani na sina namba yake."
"Lakini si unaweza ambia mkubwa wako ampigie simu arudi juu bado inakaa ako within town?" I asked him.
"Hio siwesi, kijana changu." He said resigned.
We continued chatting for about ten minutes. In the end, he left us still behind bars, locked up while we had not expected it. Locked up in a lonely place and it was beginning to become cold inside.
That day we watched as the last guys were leaving the library. The
bell was rung and we saw guys arranging their paraphernalia and tools of trade
going back to wherever they were headed.
I only remember one of my buddies yapping later on that, "What if it was a lady you were trapped inside the room with or the two of you guys were fire starters?"
Trust guys to think of inimical things but when you are under suffrage you never think of such things.
Things probably could have happened.
We could not bear the cold and I decided to call my friends so that they could bring me some warm jackets to survive inside the room which had no curtains and it was freezing inside.
The first friend I called could not believe it and he laughed as I was sounding pathetic while he had got used to me being jester who some things could never happen to. In fact when our group members called and we told them that we had been trapped in main campus, they also laughed. They thought that that was an early April Fool's Day prank or we never wanted to have the group meeting altogether. And the next day was indeed April Fool’s.
But my room mate came in handy and together with part of the other musketeers (read Campus gullibility), they came to confirm whether it was a true ordeal. They also came as a group since it was increasingly becoming risky to walk alone at night in the streets near UON. It was about the time when one of our classmate had been murdered under unclear circumstances and his body dumped into the school swimming pool and no one has been held accountable to date. RIP Wasabi.
They had brought us jackets and even though I told them to carry some food with them they never. But there are places in town that operate 24/7 and since I had some money, they went and brought us some fries and chicken which we devoured like hyenas that had been on a dry-spell of meat for days.
When they left having confirmed that we indeed were going to spend the night in ED, we went back to the room we were in to see if we could continue doing our research.
It reached a point we could not be able to concentrate on doing our research work. I decided to download some series that we were following but again could not do it for long.
I gave Mike one of the jackets as he already had one while I used the rest as a pillow case on the lecture chairs and wore others. Too much of internet is sometimes poisonous. You can never use the internet when it is in abundance. I could not download all the movies I had wanted and sleep caught up with me.
Uncomfortable as it was sleeping on the chairs, you cannot sleep for a continuous 30 minutes streak, we managed till morning. I had thought of starting a trending topic by tweeting one of the twitter bigwigs but again it would have been an effort in futility. I wanted to have an adventure of having slept in the school of business.
The next day, the guy who was supposed to open that building came very early. Methinks his wife (if he was married) was left in a dilemma because at exactly 0600hrs, he opened the door. I could hear him but I was also tired and still sleepy.
When he had opened it, Mike went to him to probably reprimand him for not checking the rooms since while leaving it should have been a requisite to confirm that all students had exited since students normally study till late. Maybe he had presumed that students were no longer inside.
However, how sure was he that there were maybe thieves or guys with hidden agendas who were hell bent on destruction or theft? If the custodian of the school of business main campus never checked the rooms while leaving who then was tasked to do so?
The sentry manning the building was flabbergasted seeing a student exiting the building while he had not seen anyone walking in. I had no time to engage him in a conversation and left him talking to himself as I was feeling sweaty and tired and we had lectures at 0800hrs on that day. I needed to wash away the thoughts.
I went to the wrong hostel room opened the door but realized that I was in the wrong room. While most of the keys can open almost any of the rooms in the hostel, the one leading to your given room is locked using a padlock. The doors were locked from inside. That is when it came to my mind that I had gone to the wrong room.
I rushed to my room and on checking everything I had, I realized that I had forgotten my Wallet in the school of business. I hurriedly went back wishing that it should be the place I had left it in. I nicely talked to the sentry and he let me in since I had no school Id. Luckily I found one of the cleaners inside the room we had slept in. She had kept it safely and after a few questions she gave it back.
That day, I attended the morning lecture since my friends had spread rumors that I had slept in ED where most of our lectures were done. I had to dispute them as rumours.
Mike, my probable alibi was not in class and my eyes were swollen and red and I could not complete the three hour lecture as I exited and went to soundly sleep in my room. I woke up at around 1500hrs feeling hungry and tired.
Looking through the window, it looked like it was morning and it is only the radio news from the nearby room that alerted me that it was early evening.
Indeed, sometimes I go through situations in life and realize they better me. While it may be unthinkable of going through them in the onset. It works fine when you have experienced them.
I only remember one of my buddies yapping later on that, "What if it was a lady you were trapped inside the room with or the two of you guys were fire starters?"
Trust guys to think of inimical things but when you are under suffrage you never think of such things.
Things probably could have happened.
We could not bear the cold and I decided to call my friends so that they could bring me some warm jackets to survive inside the room which had no curtains and it was freezing inside.
The first friend I called could not believe it and he laughed as I was sounding pathetic while he had got used to me being jester who some things could never happen to. In fact when our group members called and we told them that we had been trapped in main campus, they also laughed. They thought that that was an early April Fool's Day prank or we never wanted to have the group meeting altogether. And the next day was indeed April Fool’s.
But my room mate came in handy and together with part of the other musketeers (read Campus gullibility), they came to confirm whether it was a true ordeal. They also came as a group since it was increasingly becoming risky to walk alone at night in the streets near UON. It was about the time when one of our classmate had been murdered under unclear circumstances and his body dumped into the school swimming pool and no one has been held accountable to date. RIP Wasabi.
They had brought us jackets and even though I told them to carry some food with them they never. But there are places in town that operate 24/7 and since I had some money, they went and brought us some fries and chicken which we devoured like hyenas that had been on a dry-spell of meat for days.
When they left having confirmed that we indeed were going to spend the night in ED, we went back to the room we were in to see if we could continue doing our research.
It reached a point we could not be able to concentrate on doing our research work. I decided to download some series that we were following but again could not do it for long.
I gave Mike one of the jackets as he already had one while I used the rest as a pillow case on the lecture chairs and wore others. Too much of internet is sometimes poisonous. You can never use the internet when it is in abundance. I could not download all the movies I had wanted and sleep caught up with me.
Uncomfortable as it was sleeping on the chairs, you cannot sleep for a continuous 30 minutes streak, we managed till morning. I had thought of starting a trending topic by tweeting one of the twitter bigwigs but again it would have been an effort in futility. I wanted to have an adventure of having slept in the school of business.
The next day, the guy who was supposed to open that building came very early. Methinks his wife (if he was married) was left in a dilemma because at exactly 0600hrs, he opened the door. I could hear him but I was also tired and still sleepy.
When he had opened it, Mike went to him to probably reprimand him for not checking the rooms since while leaving it should have been a requisite to confirm that all students had exited since students normally study till late. Maybe he had presumed that students were no longer inside.
However, how sure was he that there were maybe thieves or guys with hidden agendas who were hell bent on destruction or theft? If the custodian of the school of business main campus never checked the rooms while leaving who then was tasked to do so?
The sentry manning the building was flabbergasted seeing a student exiting the building while he had not seen anyone walking in. I had no time to engage him in a conversation and left him talking to himself as I was feeling sweaty and tired and we had lectures at 0800hrs on that day. I needed to wash away the thoughts.
I went to the wrong hostel room opened the door but realized that I was in the wrong room. While most of the keys can open almost any of the rooms in the hostel, the one leading to your given room is locked using a padlock. The doors were locked from inside. That is when it came to my mind that I had gone to the wrong room.
I rushed to my room and on checking everything I had, I realized that I had forgotten my Wallet in the school of business. I hurriedly went back wishing that it should be the place I had left it in. I nicely talked to the sentry and he let me in since I had no school Id. Luckily I found one of the cleaners inside the room we had slept in. She had kept it safely and after a few questions she gave it back.
That day, I attended the morning lecture since my friends had spread rumors that I had slept in ED where most of our lectures were done. I had to dispute them as rumours.
Mike, my probable alibi was not in class and my eyes were swollen and red and I could not complete the three hour lecture as I exited and went to soundly sleep in my room. I woke up at around 1500hrs feeling hungry and tired.
Looking through the window, it looked like it was morning and it is only the radio news from the nearby room that alerted me that it was early evening.
Indeed, sometimes I go through situations in life and realize they better me. While it may be unthinkable of going through them in the onset. It works fine when you have experienced them.
SITUONANE.
[Photo Source: Google Images]
