DILEMMA

Sometimes we get offers that make us think twice. There are those that you don’t even have to mull over. They come and you make up your decision straight up and you are taking them with no brouhaha. It’s simple, something good that you have weighed all the options should be devoured with alacrity. It is normally like a euphoria. You find yourself wanting it at the spur of the moment more than any other thing. Normally, for a guy of my ilk, excitement can only be triggered by, say, I get a good job. Or, if my current weekly wage that is normally hourly snowballs and remains at a high rate for a while.

What I have come to realize is that when it comes to money, we can do anything just to get it. I am not an exception. Yes, there are limits in my pursuit. But, I know of guys who will sacrifice a lot just to see to it that they have mullah. And those mullahs are what causes us to have sleepless nights. I know most guys who are not employed but still have money. Me, am an egalitarian. Funny thing is that, the probability of finding a person without a job with money sometimes is high compared to a person with a job. A proletariat lifestyle is only good as far as the payday is concerned, past that, you are back to square one. Chasing papers. Chances are, if you borrow money from me ‘kati kati ya mwezi’, I will advise you to sort yourself with the many credit lending apps and platforms that are proliferating by the day. We Kenyans have a problem with our finances. That is why lending apps the likes of Branch, Saidia, Mshwari or Tala are making a kill out of our money neediness that keeps on ballooning.

So many have been blacklisted courtesy of credit lending apps and they still survive. What with the protracted process of getting a loan in a bank being so lengthy and having so many conditions. Can’t pay won’t pay mentality is real. Add the fact that we are just those guys, eeh! Unless there is a check-off system whereby money is deducted before getting into our hands, we will be reminded of our dues but we shall not act on it. Kesi baadaye is our slogan.

Sometimes back while in a mat, there were two guys seated on my right discussing about a friend who is an addict of soft loans. Raise your hands if you have never borrowed a loan.

“Unaona huyo boy (guess they were referring to their buddy), ye huchukua loan kutoka Branch kulipia loan ya Mshwari ama KCB-Mpesa.”  One of the boys with a loud voice was saying.

“Kwani ye hulipa aje na vile kuna interest na hana jobo?” the other boy asked.

“Maze, do iupatikana. Unajua huyu msee pia hucheza Sportpesa. So akiwai labda thao chwani hivi, ye hulipa hio do alichukua then anachukua ingine. Na unajuaa, kwa Branch anaqualify for 15 K.”

“Lakini hio doo huokelea matimes. Si nikatengeneza profile ka hio naweza furahi sana buda”

Then the guys switched to talking about the purchase of a domain names or the probability of buying a small server because one of them wanted a running website to showcase his DJeeing and other stuff. He intimated how he had missed getting 50K because of not being in touch with his cousin who had a wedding and hired an ‘outsider’ to offer entertainment services which he could have cashed on.

Their conversation really affected me.  I am one of those guys who actually practice what their friend who pays a loan with another loan. There was a time KCB Mpesa was proliferating the idea and it has finally gained root in my system. ‘Yenyewe, sisi majamaa wa peni mbili husumbuliwa sana na hizi pesa nane.’

I hope I will be able to escape from this handcuff of servitude. They are becoming too much. Just the other day, I was telling myself that when you are broke, someone somewhere is wishing he could lend money whose present value he is assured of. Like he lends you 20k and you return it with an interest of 5k. Shylocking. But that is the easier part.

I remember writing about a friend I was a guarantor to and he refused to meet his end of the bargain after being given money. He went chini ya waba and the lenders had to look for me. Collecting receivables by lenders is really a headache. Especially when it comes to money. That is why financial institutions have come up with debt collection department. Some of those debt collectors end up being crass as opposed to being courteous when dealing with defaulters because their job safety depends on it.

I think, getting money from lenders is much more better than getting it from friends or relatives who can disappoint more than often. Plus, they can be gibbery how you always like getting money from them but you never repay.

Not that I am against borrowing money from friends or relatives, but from my school of thought, I find it awkward unless you don’t know the existence of Tala, Branch, Mshwari, your bank or chama (they come in handy on a rainy day if a plunderer does not swindle away with the cash). Another scenario is if you are burdened after exhausting all the platforms you had hoped you would use to get a loan when an emergency arises.

A lot about credit. I am thinking of how I will start a new life after kujizoesha kuwa a night shift bugger because I normally work at night. I am being offered a day job and am like, "Jeez, will this work out for me, is the risk and returns worth it. Or should I just forget about my current status quo and take up the offer?"

What a big decision I must make because when I juxtapose what I make at the end of the day, it is the same or more than what I will be given. The comforting prospect is that there is hope of a promotion and interacting with guys to get their perspective. Which is important as I may end up getting a wild thought to gyrate my blog.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Picture Source: My Own]

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LIFE OF DEBT

They normally descend on you very early in the morning. They are brutish henchmen who are heavily built, brawny and barrel-chested. Their craggy countenance tells that they mean business and they are tough. They are men for hire, and they don’t cost as much as the misery they put you through. Their aim is to inflict pain, torment, wreak havoc and instill fear. They do as instructed by their masters while high on pot with the gaze of a bloodthirsty assassin. Their ‘jicho nyanya’ eyes have a sharp gleam like that of a tiger staking its prey. A paycheck is nigh. You would think they are an elite intelligentsia that has been hired to work for the secret service. That means they have to trace and track your movement and as such they know where you live, work and hangout. Even the food you east and the colour of your underwear. Who told them you have all that they came for while you were in the dark on their swoop?

Life of debt. I hate it, but I still have to deal with it. We all have guys we owe or who owe us, even the richest country is indebted. If you don’t have a debt, then you are good. Probably a lover of maintaining the status quo, however an enemy of development. But as a person, you need debt, not necessarily monetary. But monetary debt is the best kind of debt. I wrote about debt a few months ago here. Now, I can boast that I have cleared my monetary debts, but I still have huge debts pending. Like, I have not finished doing my financial modelling course to become an amateur in that field. I have a backlog of other debts too. Consequently, I need to increase my practice rate and eschew complacency, otherwise I may end up being a dodo in that sphere of knowledge.

There is that sense of freedom that you experience when you have no debts. The hardest part is normally being able to pay back if you are doing it on your own. 'Kapesa kadogo huletaga problems'. Tiny debts are not good for a person’s wellbeing. They don't portend well to your credit score. It means you are reckless in your spending, living beyond your means. Which is bad enough.

There was a story I read eons ago where a guy who was living on the fast lane had to take his own life when push came to shove. He had been living a lie, his life was centred around loans, taking one loan to service another in order to appear cool. Hitherto, I was almost going that guy's way, only that I would neither consider a Russian roulette nor mercury in my case. I am yet to make money that gives me stress. Na juu ya hiyo story, deni lazima.

We all want to be viewed as successful, but we never love to deal with the consequences of success. Especially those that come with peer pressure and shoulder unwanted burden on our financial health. Deep down, you know you are disturbed by the thought of having someone’s money. But like happiness, it’s a thought that strikes you intermittently. You only think about it at ‘those times’. Me, I rarely borrow guys money. I think it is because of the fact that I hate the idea of being seen as broke. It loosely translates into you being that guy who loves madeni. A guy will change your contact name to 'Freddie wa madeni'. Immediately he sees your call or SMS, he connects the dots subconsciously. A plausible reason why I rarely borrow from friends is because I have sources that have no feelings when I borrow money from them. The only catch is they have a relentless reminder that I need to pay my loan, which I can do so in partial payments until I have paid the whole amount. And that paying faster means I qualify for an even bigger loan. 

I can only imagine if it was a guy I am paying back the money he has lent me in dosage. Yenyewe, paying a person in small amounts is not good. Because there is never any interest, you end up destroying your trust of being able to qualify for more. Say you asked for a modest 5,000. Then you want to give 200, sometimes 2,000, other times 100 until it reaches 5,000. I am sure you know what’s up when you do that to a person. But when it comes to an institution, they love it when you pay like that. In fact, they gain more. They gain in terms of the transaction fees and the fact that you are keeping them in operation because they have a predictable future source of income. You can imagine if 10 guys took a loan of 5,000 at an interest rate of 10% a month. Say 2 default, they end up being listed with the credit reference bureau. Then 3 pay the amount due upfront and the others pay pole pole.


Institution wise, the five who pay slowly are more highly regarded than those who pay at once. Those who pay at once will qualify for a bigger amount sooner, but they don’t wow lenders as much as those who pay slowly. That’s my thought as far as lending is concerned. Having worked in a bank, if you pay the loan you had taken earlier than usual, you deny the bank some income stream into the future and most hate that aspect. At least, you need to pay it for some time to enable the bank to reap from that income in its perspective. A possible reason is that you are reducing the certainty of future income they had budgeted for in the event you don’t default. That future income goes into paying for expenses and also forming a part of the revenue. But when you pay early, it forces the bank to look for another debtor and given the stringent policies involved in qualifying a customer for a product, the bank looks at you as both a blessing and a curse. A curse because you are giving them another job of finding clients to lend and breaching the terms of agreement that inflates their current books of account but thins it in the future which may make investors think it is doing well in the short-term while in reality it is only getting its future income now. It is a blessing in that they now have their money back and some profit from interest income and no worry of default which results in loan impairment. They can lend that money and the circle of lending continues.


A few years ago, banks had to levy a prepayment interest penalty to discourage people with loans from paying early. But that was a sick joke that served not in the interest of the bank because it also made customers angry that they were being charged for doing the right thing. If only banks were under obligation to pay a given amount of interest from loans to savers and investors, then that would make sense because it would have breached the rules of engagement put in place. But being custodians of assets, banks can easily invest in worthy income generating projects because they have a strong ability to check the credit-worthiness of a lendee. 

That said, I am now debt free and I seem to think that nothing has changed. After all, the more things change the more they remain the same. That is why some people never see the need to pay their debts. Crazy guys will even divert their income if on a standing order basis into ‘safer banks’ where they cannot be burdened with being required to pay that which they owe.

If only I had that trait, I would not have been able to eligible for credit that I currently qualify for. I normally take loans in various institutions and I had one big problem. I am the kind of guy who has taken heed of KCB bank’s soft loans social media policy. Ati, I take a loan from them to pay another loan. Bad for me because I pay more interest and that means I end up having less money on my sleeves. Normally, it is usually for a good course. You see, sometimes you are not having money to pay a loan which is due. In order not to default, you take a loan from somewhere else and voila, you are good to go. That is the whole essence of taking loans and the circle of being a slave to loans continues. There is never a time when you will not be having no loan if you don't plan well. Hence, when I finally finished paying my petty loans form five different sources, I heaved a sigh of relief, but I am broke again. The best part is that there is no soul that is feeling like it had to go through a lot when they saw me shaking legs or living a fantabulous life. Perhaps, creating an impression I was having a good life while not making any efforts to repay my debts. That's why they have those moments trying to reconcile the fact that they are having these miseries that money could solve yet you don’t want to pay back the cash you owed them.

I can reminisce a time in campus when I did lend a friend some money but when he got it, he refused to repay and by then I was broke as hell, I would sleep hungry then hope that things would change. In the morning when pangs would be on the ceiling, I would go to a friend room, then ask what he had prepared and whatever little there was, we could share. I normally used tact so as not to appear like I was in desperation. That is how you survive in campus. Probably the guy who owes you money asked for it in a club to buy beer swearing he will return it. Then you start seeing him rolling, going to clubs with fine girls as you wallow looking forlorn. It's like we only remember a debt when we are broke. Men, it's never funny when a guy has your money and is not willing to give it back. 'Ile machungu mtu huskia'. You have to pester like a guy asking an obstinate lady for a one-night stand but when you get it, you realize that you end up doing something worthless with the money.

The ease with which I am able to get loans is the reason why I also don’t like asking guys for money. You ask then a guy tells you, ‘Buda, leo niko wire, si ungojee hadi kesho kutwa.’ If you are like me, you will probably look for another guy to give you that cash. You don’t need the money after that long. Or another reason can be 'Kuna vile nimeshikana but next time ntakusort.' Others will tell you to borrow another friend promising to pay when they get it which is not even logical per se. Money you borrow now serves to solve something urgent that cannot be postponed in my school of thought.

I remember a certain parent who knew me way back in primary school telling me that you don’t say that ‘the trip has been pushed forward, you say it has been postponed.’ And I was in class three and this vocabulary Nazi was here telling me why I should have used a better word instead of 'pushed forward'.

I also love the speed it takes my account to be credited, it is normally very fast. You ask for it, the system approves and in less than ten minutes, you have your mullahs. On the contrary, if you ask a friend or relative for some ‘okoa jahazi’, you will have to wait as you may have interfered with that person’s financial plans. Obviously, we rarely set aside money that we put at an arm’s length for contingency. Even if we have the contingency, it is never for lending because we also have ad hoc. It is for a rainy day. And if the rainy-day never comes, it forms part of future investments. Now that I keep a close circle of buddies who are sometimes broke, I have to contend with lending or being the debtor.


There was a friend though, who really improved my credit profile. He would ask me to take loan on his behalf and he would repay it back with interest from the app that I was borrowing money from. I really did understand him. He was dealing with so much and given that he was meeting his end of the bargain, I never saw anything wrong with lending him that cash. Now I am able to take money from that platform as a result of the fact that he helped me get a good rating on the app with prompt payments. If it were not for him, I would have not been able to know and improve my rating on that platform.

Perhaps a better reason why I normally take a soft loan is because of the fact that I am of the notion that there is no friend of mine that can trust me with his 5k, more or less. Most appear like they live from hand to mouth. Just a few days into the month and they can only manage to pay recurrent bills that include fare, food, airtime and other basics. That’s my friends for you. I am hoping that with time, they will easily get the money and I will also be comfortable financially so that I can qualify for big mullah and not be subjecting my peanuts to paying interest.

Like I intimated, I am having this ease from the incessant messages from the various lenders reminding me that I need to pay back my loan. Albeit the alerts are sent with good faith and serving to remind us of what we need to do, they irritate and make you feel like a slave. You are never in peace. And for a person like yours truly, I fear being credit listed because it has various repercussions. For example, you may not be able to work in certain organizations and travel to some countries among other painful predicaments given the scenarios a listed person has to contend with.

The worst part is that you may have an urgent issue that only cash pap can solve. But because you have spoilt your credit history, you end up not being able to get that petty money. That is why I pay my debts and when a time will come when I urgently need the money, I will be smiling all the way to a money lender without risking the oppression that comes from a shylock.

A shylock is a debtor's worst nightmare when it comes to reclaiming what he lent. I have heard of stories where they descend on unsuspecting debtors in the wee hours of the morning. They usually use the marauding bouncers they have hired for a song to possess whatever valuables you have to cover the cost of the cash they lent and the services of the debt collectors. Arguably, the master of time value for money has to be a Shylock. Their folly is that they take more than deserved from hapless victims. After all, you are the only person who knows where you took the money lent. And a shylock never fears to take his pound of flesh.

P/S: Saving money in a locked account has negligible returns that when I compare the equities counters that I follow with the amount I got after six months, I am tempted to have a CDSC account for gaining on holding period return now that I am doing financial modelling. Money you save is worthless because it returns withdrawal fee, yet when you take a loan, you pay the principal and interest. This idea that interest is compounded on a daily basis is a fallacy. Ask anyone who has saved. You only get back what you saved.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Image Source: My own]

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PROLETARIAT

Do dreams come true? When I grow up, I want to be self-independent and an employer. Every jobless bugger always dreams about being safely tacked somewhere in employment (hata kama ni kwa baniani mwenye kiatu chake dawa). Even a CEO fears being fired or waking up to find that all employees have not turned up because the status quo will have been breached. Which reminds me that I have seen a guy writing a letter to his manager. I hate being idle. In the place I work, activity that is beneficial to the bank does not count if you have not brought in results. It’s synonymous to reading for exams then at the end of the day you cannot answer the questions correctly, what does that mean?

It’s worthless to sometimes struggle then at the end of the day the compliance department officer gives you back the document that you had. It’s called RTS which translates to ‘Return to Sender’. I have been a victim.

As a victim, which I have been like thrice or slightly more times, my morale usually falls so low. A slight pain, a nauseated feeling engulfs and I also develop some tightness in the chest. Cortisol levels rise and the vagus and cranial nerves become overstimulated. Those are the times I feel like a wildebeest watching her young ‘un being picked up with the golden paws of a lion that had seen better days. I sometimes feel like shedding tears thinking about the struggle I have been through. But I usually find myself laughing.

The compliance officers are one bunch of hawk eyed chaps who have an eye for details and ensure that all business is carried out within the regulatory framework. They are very thorough. While as the first line of defense you may think that you have everything in order, they will notice slight mistakes much to your chagrin and the process can be quite aggravating and frivolous. You can imagine these are the chaps who sit the whole day while you spend time and money on the streets looking for client’s documents to submit then in certain situations they totally reject your submission.

Well, the most beautiful of memories are normally the worst, cutting your insides as if they were shards of glass. I hate it when such wretched memories swirl around my brain. But hey, such situations should make one better in the sense that you learn faster not to make such silly mistakes in the future.

There is one problem though, any RTS means a reduction in income.  Imagine that you have spent money looking for a client, then such instances happen? Food for thought.

Building up on that, the field of sales is one tricky one. It’s like trudging in the desert or being an alchemist. Everything is based on hope. Hope that things will be better the next day. Such hopes fade when you have nothing that is worthy to talk about. Countless times I have thought of calling it a day because my numbers and statistics are not adding up. Then when I feel like doing so, I usually imagine the stress my mother will go through, my family and those who take pride that I have a job. Never mind that I will feel the pinch more than anybody else. Because bills have to be paid.

Which reminds we that I should gather enough courage to write to our CEO. You see, I am a kind of a third rate employee (it depends on how you view it). I recently read an article on business daily about a diversification in investment banking by our bank. I really got excited. Guys like us have no email to get incoming information from the bank.

Ever since I finished my level one exams in the CFAI Program, I have been contemplating applying to this arm of our bank. Yet I have no gen whether they have a vacancy or not. Based on the fact that I have not been bringing in sales, there is the possibility that my dashboard can be used to judge my commitment rather than the knowledge I have.

There is something called the power of positive thinking. In the event they show me those figures, I can counter them by saying that sometimes a person can be more productive when he or she does that which he loves. In my situation, I am more enthused by investment banking. Especially when it comes to dealing with traditional investment or the vibrant alternative investment which my crystal balls tells me is more likely to undergo some bubble especially with regard to the mortgage industry given that mortgage funding is somehow going to shrink if lending is going to be restrictive as it currently is.

You see, I would love to tell the CEO that I am the impatient kind of person. If a client does refuse to uptake what I am selling the first time, I become discouraged a lot. I also have a mechanical mindset. At times, I have tried being creative in this sales job however the situation does not look bouncy. Again, my career objective is not in line with my next level of promotion even though I love the flexibility of the job. I would love to do something more meaningful.

Yet, I cannot be able to do that if I am not able to perform in the current level that I am. I am this kind of person who does not like pushing other people a lot. I also love it when someone accepts a product willingly rather than begrudgingly while selling. And that is quite different from what I am supposed to do.

Since I have not been quite successful while am almost finishing my fifth month, I have been having a feeling that I need to be more vigorous and crafty in delivering the message. And do you know what this has resulted in?

I must say that I have been really broke since I am not receiving commissions that I wake up every day to chase. There is that dull and frumpy feeling; an empty bank account and a feeling of despair. When you see friends grinning and they update pictures that make you feel like I made the wrong choice because they are moving up the career ladder while I may be stuck in a rut if do not adopt a strategy and vision whose goal is aimed at appeasing people. And the reason why I am broke is because of the bad financial decisions that have trapped me and I am feeling like I have been ensnared with no viable options. Ideally, what I had expected will not materialize.

You know you are broke when a chic tells you to go out for a cup of tea in the jisty noshery and you lenga that story like a Koinange street hooker running away from a UON student. It even contributes to emotional glum. Then again, I now need to develop a radical shift in my perspective on cash flow, debt and my own financial well-being given that I am spending more that I earn.

Obviously it will be a struggle. Living below my means that is. The number of platforms where I can get soft lending has drastically increased. I also deliberately took credit to buy a smartphone which has resulted in increased consumption on my side. Yet I cannot regret having bought the smartphone given that it also serves as another platform where I can continue perusing while javing or waiting to see clients. I have been somehow found it rancid to savour the contents that I need to cover in the CFAI Program. Still I am remaining hopeful that one day I shall join that which my heart desires.

Talking of credit, there are many chaps who have come to me for the same thinking I have some soft loans to lend. In the process I have discovered apps like Tala and Branch. I used those platforms instead to request for loans for some. My credit score is kind of good. Lies, I live on credit. And I need to do away with it once and for all.

Obviously there are shylocks in our office who lend at some crazy interest rates on a one-month basis and people still take credit from them. I don’t love it but there are times when I have been forced to take credit from such chaps.

There is no denial that debt collection is not a rosy job either, especially if you are a Shylock. Once someone has used that which he does not have is when he realizes that he truly can play the cat and mouse game. The problem with human beings is that they never allow you time to compose yourself when they aim at collecting their dues. Apps do on the contrary. The only thing hassling part is to constantly remind you to pay through many SMS prompts. And I ensure I pay to avoid the possibility of not qualifying.

I hate surviving this way.

PS: We all have multitudinous opportunities. Nas once rapped  'I know I can be what I wanna be'. So anyone can be anything. Because the hypothetical biblical verse in Hezekiah 6.1 says, 'God helps those who help themselves' apparently does not exist. So strive for that which you want without cessation.

Hasta La Vista Baby.

[Photo Source: Google Images]

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