Letter to graduands

A square academic cap, a tam, or a bonnet

Graduation is one of the best things in life. It is a time when you reap the rewards of your labor. Yes, whether you spend 2 years or 10 years, those are your results. 

Why do some guys insist on having the pictures they take during graduation as their profile pictures on social media pages like Facebook, twitter, instagram and whatsapp? No one cares whether you have graduated or not. 

I usually find it very awkward looking at profile pictures where a person in his rightful sense has himself or herself in graduation regalia. Please, you don’t need to advertize to the entire world that you have graduated. 

The regalia should serve the purpose it was meant for. It should be for an occasion. When you display it on your profile picture, it loses the meaning it should serve. However, in my opinion those clothes are hideous and lack the oomph they used to have.

Long ago it was ceremonial and gisty being seen in those clothes, not anymore. The number of people graduating is increasing steadily and chances are in the network of friends you keep, most have graduated. Therefore it is embarrassing when you display your graduation picture as the profile picture.

Times have changed. Hence anyone worth his salt can graduate. Even those who got Ds and Es have gone to campus courtesy the various channels that enable them pursue higher education. There are even individuals who have masters degree without undergraduate degree. 

Again with the proliferation of universities and due to the fact that education has been commercialized and university charters are being dished out left right and center to appease tribal lords and political hegemonies, it is now possible to find even the dumbest of guys with a degree. A degree is no longer as cherished as it used to be. It is now a paper that has lost the due credence it used to have.

Then there is a lot of fuss over graduation for nothing. Some parents are so obsessed with the idea of their sons or daughters graduating to the extent that they organize very huge parties worth hundreds of thousands but when the graduate asks for money to start a business he will never get any.

This in my opinion is having priorities upside down. Why spend so much on a day’s affair while the graduate will probably wallow in penury owing to the fact that its hard getting a job in the current dispensation unless you are connected or become lucky.

Graduation day is that day where you have to try to be at your best. Many however don’t see the gravity of the occasion. Some even turn up in clothes they wore in first year due to the fact that they find the day having no significance in their lives.

I once saw a graduand who had not even brushed his shoes and he was in a t-shirt that solidified his humble origin. If you are graduating, you should try to be smart as possible even if you have no one accompanying you to the occasion. This is a time you need to buy a new suit even if you have never worn one and surprise naysayers.

There are people who come for graduation in buses and bring with them nothing to the graduand. This is the lot that usually crowds the graduation venue causing the mobile networks to jam. Chances are it is the first time of such individuals setting their feet in a university and the behavior they depict is usually very appalling. 

Many will insist on taking snaps with the graduand and what is equally perturbing is the fact that these people are usually very clueless about many things. Some are even embarrassing and the way they behave is usually quite ignoramus. As a graduand you just wish they would behave but since you have no willpower, you let them be.

Then there are those who insist on knowing what you got. Jeez, you are the person who toiled during that period. As long as you have graduated, whether you got a pass or first class should be a non issue. There is more to life than the grade one obtains in university. As long as you have the degree, the rest should not be an issue. There are many who don’t even get to graduate, and they still make it in life.

 Graduating from university is the joy of parents. It is said that your first graduation is their effort but the second and third graduation is your own effort. That is the reason why a whole clan may turn up for the graduation of their son or daughter.

Since graduation is an important occasion that has lost the luster it had, it is important to still recognize that it shapes the life a graduand. What I know is that it is not a must to attend the ceremony but since it is something you do for the benefit of others, there is no barrier that bars one from attending it and holding a small party and even say thanks those who make it to the occasion.

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My fictious father

My father is a perpetual sot whose love for the bottle nearly wreaked havoc a house that is sewn in the steadfastness of the Holy Spirit. As the head of the family, everyone looks up to him when things go haywire. He has however never failed in his task of ensuring that we had basic needs and that school fees is paid duly in time.

As a tot, I usually found his behavior queer. He would sometimes knock in the dead of the night, sometimes kicking the door for my mum to open him the door. When my mum failed to open, she was would face his wrath which meant he would rain blows, kicks and slaps on her. As a faithful jobless housewife, she was a traditional kind of woman who hoped that someday my dad would change and he would stop hitting the bottle.

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Stuck in a rut

There is a Kikuyu saying that goes “Andu nio indo.” Translated, it means, “people are wealth”. It is good that I am surrounded by a circle of friends whom I don’t have close association but whom I look up to in my quest for success. 

They are like a wheel spanner and a jack; they come in handy just when you have a puncture. There is solace in the thought that I am not alone. That does not mean I will continue to rue about my predicaments in life. There is a juggernaut that keeps reminding me not to let things fall apart.

Everyday I see people make it big in life. They have cruised to the next level seamlessly as I struggle to even get closer to a tad of what they have achieved. I am stuck in a rut. I can’t move, eat or communicate. In fact I switched off my phone long ago having accrued loans in terms of both Okoa Jahazi and the soft loan 'Mshwari' lent by the mobile phone operator.

That I am downtrodden is an understatement. I am famished and despondent. I have not known the beauty of what life is. Each time I think of achieving a feat, I am bedeviled by the dilemma of not knowing the way forward. its like my ambition and vision have been blurred. I just write to allay my fears. I am confident that this phase will end and usher in a new beginning full of optimism and promise.

Amid the despondency and delusions that I have to go through, I know every cloud has a silver lining. But how long shall I wait for mine to witness its reality. This is not even comforting. It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. In my case it is the converse. My morale is low and my ambition emaciated. But I have faith that things will change for the better. Reason why I put in black and white Primal Odyssey.

Am I  a victim of societal ambiguity? Maybe it has hegemony over me. Am forced to eat the humble pie and accept the fate that this is my current place and short term predicament. I struggled thinking that school would help me. Then I came to realize that schooling can’t help. I have to stand to be counted among those who have made a mark in life. Crying over spilt milk is like waiting for manner to fall from heaven. That I know never happens.

I hope to be a turnaround story soon. I am tired of being ridiculed and looked down upon as a nobody who has no status in life. I am not comfortable being the guy who people shy away from. I am tired of being sidelined and being relegated to the lower echelons that have forced me to accept as a role.

It is shameful to have no clout in life. It is even very embarrassing when people can’t let you talk among them because you are broke and penniless. They term me a failure. This is negatively affecting me. I cannot diet to my satisfaction. I sleep like a watchman. My prayer is to the Almighty to see me through. To fight me this battle that has become so overwhelming and wearisome.

However, I pride in the fact that it is the same people who are against me who will marvel my elation. I know they will rush to my side when it rains and they will bestow upon me the respect expected of my status. 

In this world, there is a master and a servant. Each person knows his place. None can be a master unless born of royal heritage. Again not all progeny of noble upbringing swim in the miasma of patronage. There are those who have kingly duties awaiting and others end up becoming subjects of the king and queen. 

Even among friends, each one has his time. There are those who are slow and it takes them time before they make it in life. What is for sure is that there are hills and valleys in life. The passes and cols lay ground and prepare us to surmount the challenges we have to endure.

It is therefore natural to be envious of those who are making it and we are still stuck in the rut. Those friends are a blessing in disguise. Some may treat you well, others may look down upon you while still others will only sympathize and worse is when they have a risqué attitude with your situation when you are down. Those who empathize are a gem though, they know that fate and personal attitude changes a lot in life.

But the beauty of it lies in the fact that they can come to our rescue when time is nigh. Those with connections will help you in securing jobs, if in business, that coveted tender will come courtesy of a friend.

But when I rise, this will be a stark reminder that life is not static and there is usually a way and a shining star. I believe that only metal and some elements are the ones that never easily undergo much transformation but as humans, there is respite in life.

If optimism is a drug them I am addicted. If only it will make me more hopeful that tomorrow will come with the goodies that I have always dreamt of.

SITUONANE.

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Music

Microphone

 Kenyan music has come a long way. It has undergone transition over the years and soon we may have a bead synonymous to our artistes. Music is supposed to be universal. As long as the music is appealing to the ear, then there is no reason as to people should not listen to it.

Kenyan music however lacks class. It is sometimes hard to distinguish music that is meant for a certain group of people who would love to listen to some specific Kenyan music. Indeed artistes are really trying to churn out good hits. The problem is they can’t stick to a given genre of music. To them, music is about what the interesting the public and not about public interest.

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We don’t have comedians we have jokers

Audience laughing during a stand up comedy

‘Have you ever listened to someone tell a story – over coffee, at church, or at a conference – and been absolutely bored to tears? Or worse: the story was interesting but there doesn’t seem to be a point.

 

Maybe the meat of the story you heard was interesting, but for some reason you couldn’t stay engaged. Or perhaps you heard an anecdote that completely blew you away, but when you tried to retell it, it didn’t have nearly the same impact.’

Trust me you are not alone. Many have found themselves in such awkward situations and they have accepted and moved on sometimes red faced while others know exactly how take advantage of such situations. 

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The Science of prayer

Prayer is scientific. It is both empirical and theoretical. Prayer is also religious and it takes devotion to actuate it. Why is prayer scientific? That is a question that I read somewhere and I needed an apt answer. This piece is devoid of allusion in any book of religious inclinations by any denomination but I will give reverence to them where applicable.

Many people pray hypocritically. They never trust in what they are praying about. Sometimes back I was taught that in prayer the answer is either; Yes, No or Maybe. But the art of prayer cannot be bypassed. Like science, prayer should be methodological. Prayer without faith is dead. If you have to pray, never be quixotic. If so, don’t even mime or say a soliloquy that is meant to be a prayer.

Muslims pray five times a day. When it comes to prayer, they never let anything come their way. Christians have no given number of times they should pray. It is up to one to decide on the amount of time he or she dedicates to prayer on any given day. Prayer is like practice. If you practice consistently you become perfect and have ease in the hurdle that you are trying to achieve. Likewise, prayer is like practicing for a competition. You need to pray for what you want and have faith that you will get it.

What you pray for should be between you and your God. Everyone has someone he believes in. This however excludes atheists, heathens and all non believers who have nothing to stand for. But I have never trusted in non-believers, they are just but people who have never experienced the manifestation of prayer or the miracles in prayer.

Your brain is the most important and powerful organ that reins over the way you behave and conduct self. The Brain has the power of creativity and vision. It can come up with some of the most unheard of or unseen things that influence the way people relate and behave. But again our brain is what sometimes leads us to sometimes straying. It is easy to be conservative but the power of prayer can make someone move mountains and outdo temptation.

Our cognitive abilities sometimes require prayer. If you want to achieve a feat, pray about it. Trust that the prayer will be answered. Even non-believers usually pray during some very tense moments to overcome the trials that they are going through. Scientists have also discovered that prayer is a powerful tool that can aid in better performance and as such there are results in prayer. But it is imperative to have faith and be consistent since the results are not immediate for first timers.

Prayer is a form of social interaction with God. It removes one from the miasma of human sphere and places one who prays in the ethereal world where there are angels and spirits. Prayer works. Many can confess that it is through the power of prayer that they are alive or they have achieved the great deeds in their lives. The efficacy of prayer with regard to outcome does not usually have the same positive results. The results may best be described as the exam one takes. Some are usually prepared, others are semi prepared and others are never preparing at all.

The science of prayer is defined by the unlimited power there is in closing the eyes and believing. Prayer is not wishful thinking, trial and error petitioning without repeatable results. Prayer is sowing a seed. A farmer usually sows the seed and waits for it to germinate, sprout and mature into a harvest. When you plant a seed you are hopeful, likewise when you pray you trust that the results will be manifested sooner or later. 

Prayer connects us to the divinity. Understanding the whole concept behind this phenomenon where one’s brain connects with the spiritual world is quite perplexing. Not even science can explain it. When people speak in tongues and very few can explain or interpret the words, then it means that there is power in prayer. Powerful and religious prayer usually comes about when one goes dark into the parietal lobe where one is able to form the sense of self.

Neurologists have been studying why prayer is a science. According to a certain neurology professor “The more you focus on something, the more that becomes your reality, the more it becomes written into the neural connections of your brain.” As such if you pray continuously for a longer period, you will achieve the results even when it takes decades for the results.

Prayer is like going to the gym. You go to the gym with the intention of sculpting your muscles to appear the way that appeases your eyes. Likewise, if you can manage an hour or two daily in prayer to achieve a connection with the supernatural, then ultimately you will have sculpted your body and mind into accomplishment.

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Cheaters: Their art and confidence

Men are naturally born polygamous but it is situations and the expectation of society that makes them resort to being monogamous. Men are lustful beings; anyone in skirt who is appealing to the eye will excite the nerves in them. Even the wisest man to have lived, King Solomon, could not resist the allure of women. Again his father conspired to have Uriah killed in order to marry Bathsheba the woman he had seen bathing while standing on the roof of his palace.

Biblical matters aside, that men are cheaters is not a lie. Some metro-sexual men cheat openly even when they are in the company of their better halves. They usually do it with skillful dexterity that not even the slightest of evidence will be detected.

When a certain couple got stuck in a certain dwelling, it got me thinking. Why do men usually cheat and cheating should not be blamed entirely on men. Society has a way of admonishing cheating men. When women get wind of such gen, they usually retaliate but they are brisk and secretive in their approach.

           Man who was caught with another person's better half

Take Matthews* for example. He is married to a Jane*, career woman who thinks he is a perfect gentleman. She has never seen him engaging in any kind of extra-marital affairs or even if she knows, she brushes the rumors aside as nonsensical gibbery that can’t stand the test of time. In fact Jane is what we can call the perfect wife material. She usually gets home in time from work to prepare for Matthews and their kids a sumptuous meal. A keeper, she ensures their children are in the best schools and lack nothing.

Joe* is Matthews’ elder brother. Joe is the opposite of Matthews. He considers himself an alpha male and he is the quintessential player who every Tom, Dick and Harry knows has a flair for pretty and hot chicks. His wife is also a beautiful light complexioned lady whom he sweet talked to his nest. She knows that he is a player but since circumstances have forced he to marry Joe, she takes courage in the fact that she is a sole wife.

Mary* is a beautiful lady by any standards. She is a smart bimbo who Matthew keeps as a side dish. She is what everyman would like in a woman who is a side dish. She knows how to dress for the occasion; apply make-up and oozes class so that the average guy cannot have the audacity to approach her.  She knows her part and never raises eyebrows. Her high-heeled shoes also portrayed her as a woman of class.

Come to think of it, why is it that some single ladies love high-heeled shoes? Reliable sources indicate that it gives shape to figure 11 ladies and makes them more curvy with a protruding and bootylicious buxom bottoms they normally lack.

Single ladies it is said love married men. Reason being they know how to treat women having a woman in their live. Whether it is a fling that will lead to marriage or not, it does not matter. As long as they are comfortable with their fate or place, they never mind.

An occasion arises where the brothers have to meet. Joe does not carry his wife along. Jane knows Joe too well and when Mary is brought along she does not sense any anomaly. Jane is convinced beyond any reasonable doubt that Mary is the usual ‘mpango wa kando’ Joe harbors. She is unaware that the lady is her hubby’s side chic. 

Jane and Mary engage in a chatty conversation during the rendezvous. Joe even introduces Mary as his friend. A perfect recipe for uncanny deception by two conniving brothers. Meanwhile Matthews the innocent serpent has kept his cool only exchanging brief glances with Mary. This was the first meeting between the two ladies. They talked like amazing buddies. You never know whether they changed phone numbers, if indeed women have the sixth sense. However, what is not in doubt is that Mary did pull it off with the caution of a burglar who has to be aware of the air around him.

The exit of the two lovebirds, Matthews and Mary, was well calculated to extent that it did not ooze any doubt. Matthews left Jane their family car and decided to use Joe’s contraption to go and extend their relaxation in another joint and probably while away time.

Off they drove to a villa Joe had booked for the two in the middle of a suburb that has exclusive membership. Joe being a member had secured the location to aid Matthews execute his tryst. He was also liquid and easy going. Probably Matthews had realized that he was missing a taste of the outside camel toe that men find tastier than the usual everyday bedroom boredom.

Meanwhile Jane went home alarmed by the turn of events. She knew her husband was a teetotal and rarely went for night outs. But on this occasion he had decided to make an exit with his brother, a renowned player. Thoughts of ménage a trios did cross her mind but she rubbed them off knowing too well that her beau could not stoop so low. When she could not hold it anymore, she decided to call her husband and insisted on Skype.

To her utter dismay, Matthews refused unilaterally to communicate via Skype. He was in a compromising situation and could not let Jane  force him into something he did not want which could have potentially jeopardized their marriage. He spoke incoherently before adding that the place had poor network coverage and there was a lot of noise in the place he was. 

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Why I need a Girlfriend

The silhouette of a lady

Sometimes I just wish I had a girlfriend. Yes because I am of age and I am not homosexual. I refused using the word – gay - deliberately. 

I really don’t know the exact reason why I am single. It could range from the fact that I have poor vibing skills. Another reason could be the fact that I am jobless and penniless. It could also be due to the fact that I have not found the right lady or chic. Another reason could be my lack of confidence and perpetual fear that has cropped in me.

Getting a girlfriend is not easy. That is my confession. It is mind boggling especially when you set standards of the woman you would want and again if you are in a way emotionally deficient of feelings. The latter in my opinion is the main reason that drives a man to a woman.

Flash backward. I had a girlfriend. That is, in my dreams since it never materialized as I never got to see who I was chatting with. It was such an adventure that I still have ecstatic illusions of the feeling and reminisce those days with rabid nostalgia. Anyway to cut the long story short, I had a girl who I used only to chat with but never had transport to go and visit her. She lived miles away and that was the bone of contention that resulted in our young union never seeing the light of day.

Flash forward and I am regretting. Why didn’t I seize those opportunities that arose in campus of all those single and beautiful ladies whom I knew? Again it boils down to; money, money, money. One of my friends used to say that he had a three point plan in life and it is money, money and lastly money. The syndrome in a way affected me and since I like to make women feel good once in a while and sure enough since I am penniless, I can’t afford to take chances.

Let me say that getting a girlfriend again is not the problem. I have had situations where girls have hinted at the possibility of us getting together but again when all is said and done, I never express interest and like ashes poured in the river all goes in vain.

To set the record straight, I am not exactly searching for something serious. I am open to someone who is more flexible to an open relationship. But again I am a man and that means that at times the rules of engagement are set by none other than me.

I don’t want to sound dictatorial but being a sort of a macho gentleman, this has made me to be a little bit rigid when it comes to women. First I don’t share. That does not mean that I will be conservative in matters pertaining to the bedroom. I hope that my future girlfriend reads this with the sixth sense of rationality. I added that since that sense does not exist.

So what am I looking for in a woman? The first thing that comes in mind is attraction. Alas! If that does not exist after sometime then I must say there is no place I would be taking the relationship. Secondly character comes in quick succession. That sounds misplaced, but sincerely, if it is not for attraction, the second would not exist. Third, has to do with me. I need my future girlfriend to appreciate me the way I am. My downfalls, my strengths and all that may not be palatable pertaining to my general being.

If you find this had to muse, well don’t be astounded. Again, it is my life and that means you as a lady have nothing to change about me. Talking of change, women love to change the life of their men. I have read many articles whereby the subject of change or transition and matters finance are highly muted when couples enter into a union.

Nevertheless, I am not complaining of my single status. I am just like any other bloke but difference is I have to rant about the frustrations I have undergone to make my life different in my quest to finding a better half.

Lonely life

It’s practically very hard being a single dude.  At times I usually rue why I am a recluse, but it all has to do with women. I have been frustrated trying to take women for outs as they never show up for the set dates. Take note that i have tried and i will continue trying. For instance there was a time I earned some little money and wanted to take one of my lady friends for a cup of coffee in Java- the best coffee lounge i know. But that never came to be as the lady told me pointblank she was too busy and I had to backtrack. 

Since then I have developed cold feet and I rarely make romantic calls and send flirty messages to potential dates till I get to make enough money. As a broke lad, all the pretty women are not easy to come by. 

It’s even hard when you don’t groom yourself to standard. These are also part of the drawbacks that have burdened my conscience in my ultimate hunt for that queen of my heart.

Opening Up

I am ready to start again. I know I may have lost all the available hope but as long as I am not six feet under, the sky should be the limit in my aspirations in life.

Closing quote

I want to make an exit by citing one of the best novelist, passionate eroticist and short story writer, who said,

 ‘Each friend represents a world in us, a world is not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.’ – Anais Nin.

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Ubiquity of a Carefree People in Public Service

Aerial view of Machakos bus station

Sometimes traveling using public transport can be a nightmare and traumatizing experience. It is usually characterized by people of different backgrounds and upbringing and it can be frustrating while aboard. First, while in the stage before the bus can make a departure, there are lots of peddlers and hawkers selling their wares ranging from cheap toothpaste, pesticides and insecticides among other things a traveler may need. Worst are those hawkers who bombard you with their wares on your face and you can’t do nothing about it.

I once had a nerving and chilling experience that left me with a sour taste in the mouth. I failed to secure a seat in one of the charted buses that offer a luxurious ride. Henceforth, I was forced to board a country-bus as the last resort since I never knew I would not get a better alternative means of transport as there was an emergency I need to go to urgently attend to. What was worse was the fact that there were very many commuters and the price had nearly doubled. 

The passenger seated next to me was sick and I guess he had also taken some pints before boarding the vehicle. When the vehicle started moving he did vomit on the floor making the air around reek with his refuse. Luckily I was seated next to the window and I opened it and placed my head next to out of the window to allow fresh air to counter the obnoxious smell.

To make matters worse, the seats were sat on were so squeezed and uncomfortable. A lady with her child was seated next to the man as the seats were three. The man was seated between me and the lady who was also traveling upcountry. The man apologized that he was under strong medication and that was the reason why he was feeling nauseated.

The retching did not end soon. When the bus was in steadfast motion, the man again threw up on the floor of the bus this time causing the barf to spill to the floor of the nearby seats. Everyone felt disgusted. It was one of the experiences that I never thought I would witness. The funk in the air was now causing queasiness. My stomach felt unsettled and rumbled as my mouth became full of saliva. It was the kind of bitter saliva that one never thinks of even having a slight attempt swallowing.

Scenes like this are frequent in public transport and it there are even worse cases. I was once told a story whereby the relatives of a very sick passenger decided to take him home to go and spend his final days next to his people. The relatives knew they had a terminally ill patient in the vehicle but still insisted on the patient traveling. In the middle of the journey the person kicked the bucket and it being at night there was no way the body could be taken to the nearest morgue.

The services in public institutions are in a pathetic state. In fact this is not only limited to traveling. Sometimes back I went to visit a patient in hospital and I almost turned into one. The smell in the hospital was not any friendly. It was piercing and disturbing. This was coupled by the fact that I was also feeling a bit of some stomach upset. The air did drain me and I almost became dizzy. Luckily I was not alone and some help came in handy.

Later while in a better hospital where I sought treatment, it was clear that nothing was amiss in my system having gone for lab tests that had negative results. I vowed to rarely go public to hospitals when I am not at my best.

The situation in most public hospitals and institutions that offer service to the people need to change for the better. In as much as the conditions may be deplorable and maintenance a myopic dream, there needs to be a way of ensuring that conditions are improved to bring back sanity. 

Some of the little things we usually ignore can really be disastrous if not seriously taken into account. We have ignored our environment and the nature around it. This has been spew to the places we live and the mindsets we have. It is no longer fashionable to pride in cleanliness. 

I have gone in places and saw looming catastrophes in waiting. We harbor diseases that we can easily fight. People have accepted mediocrity especially the lower middle class and those in the lower echelons in society. You find people throwing garbage with a balderdash attitude since they cannot be held accountable.

That we have lost the green campaign is not in doubt. It will take a whole generation to accept that standards need to be adhered to. If hospitals that should ensure patients recover quickly engage in acts contrary to their mandate and the public condones it, then we are at a loss.

Our systems have been infiltrated because of our love for money.  If we can champion the totality of humanity instead of vested capitalistic interests then we will have made a good head-start. A society that places money first is on the brink of collapse. Money should motivate but again if acquired genuinely it will aid in making the world a better place instead of it having an avalanche of problems that bequeath the average guy on the streets. I would really marvel if a new dispensation that is friendly becomes a reality.

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