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I remember a time when we attended a meeting by the directors of our college. After deep introspection, I later realized that some of the issues being raised by some of the teachers were too petty.
Like someone being concerned by food, does this motivate employees? Obviously, like 60-70% of my colleagues never go for lunch, me included. The economic times are always harder in Kenya. The paltry figure you earn in a month is what someone makes in a bad day. Since the supply of human resource outstrips demand (I bet this is a lie), this has contributed to employers paying their employees anything as long as they are just surviving. And the repercussion is that staff turnover is a bit high given that most are looking for better jobs.
Our director is one bulky figure whom I wish could read on the global trends that being too bulky is not only a sign of laziness but also a sign of being unhealthy. He should trim some of the excess fat to see the institution going places and probably getting to be a varsity or opening up more branches such that it ameliorates into an institution that is a preferred destination by many scholars who deem it as the one stop place of scholarship.
Talking of Juen, during our session with the directors, he raised one important issue mainly revolving around health which I found hilarious but realized it was not trivial as such owing to it being a rainy season. It was paramount because it affected both all parties- students and staff.
So after completing my evening lecturing, let me say I have become a pro teacher, or I am a professor. Before going for the class, I had had this sight headache. And you know when its Friday, you never know how things will turn out. Juen had on Thursday told me of a plot he had conjured. Yes, being a loquacious silent killer, Juen has the flair of a person who is thinking far ahead. While am sorry to say that some ‘professors’ as we call ourselves have no fall back plan in the event they get in a quagmire, Juen told me about his numerous dealings. Never mind a colleague told me he was once sacked and ended up returning to this same institution.
On this Friday, Juen waits for me as planned. He takes me to a shady drinking den where sots take sips one off and they are good to go. We arrive and find the place congested. It takes us a few minutes to make it to the counter where a lady is serving the drinks. Soon the place is vacated as most drinkers head to the club inside playing ethnic music. Since it is downtown Nairobi, you surely know the cacophonous music that rents the air. Stools are used as the way of seating.
Soon an Administration Police joins us. I thought he was interested in taking some pints. He was not. He wanted to be given money, kickbacks. He had either a G3 or an AK47, but since I am not a gun connoisseur, I cannot tell what it was. He came the first time but was denied his due then went away. The second time he came but the lady did not badge to his demands. I could see he was disappointed. The lady later told us his was a malady in the system because he was accustomed to the custom.
Juen had introduced me as a colleague and I was given some respect because he is quite popular here. You see, many people who frequent this joint are not scholars; he is among the few who have a way with not only the most dingy of places to the revered high-class joints in uptown Nairobi. He even told me he was going to take me to Serena. Let’s wait and see. This is a secret I am supposed never to reveal.
A matatu driver who was also part of those sampling the liquor, having witnessed as the AP police was harassing the wines and spirits attendant decided to give the lady his two cents.
“Hawa watu afadhali uwapatie chenye wanataka alafu utakuwa sawa. Mimi husimamishwa Kangundo napeana mia mbili, Juja Road pia unaona karao amakuwekea mkono juu unatoa tena mia mbili alafu ukifika racecourse unapatana na mwingine amekunja sura kama ngumi, uso ndimu. Inabidi saa zingine unaingia kwa mfuko. Hivyo ndio unaweza kaa kwa hii biashara.”
“Lakini huyu amezidi, leo nimempa pesa nyingi karibu thao, anaenda tu kuburudika na wasichana huko ndani. Simpi pesa tena ng'o!” The lady retorted in anger.
I am very particular about the kind of drinks I take, but since this was going to be a new experience, I did take some drink with an unknown name. Think it was vodka, which we laced with lemons and water. Though I could see some lemon juice in the counter, I never wanted to request for it.
I sometimes I wonder if my employer will confirm me in this job. If he does well and good but if he does not, ntatembeza kiatu sababu hii pesa si ya mamangu. And what if he reads this and realizes that I sometimes become too shady because I want to know so much about Nairobi which I don’t know. At least, the college has given me an avenue and exposure. I get to see new faces everyday and my oh my, what if I am given a sacking letter, where will I start? Yet am admonishing some of my colleagues for having no respite. But I am a writer, sooner I will end up somewhere.
Again, I at least have this little experience of teaching. Imparting knowledge to people who want to be professionals and who aspire to continue with their education at higher levels. While sometimes I usually think I am less informed, it does not matter that I have this desire to be the best. When I see older people coming for my class, I usually feel threatened about how to approach them at the onset, but time has taught me that you see students as individuals and not as a crowd. That way, you can enter into their comfort zones easily and create a good rapport. At the end of the day, my students range from those who are young to some who could have sired some of those students to be their progeny.
Upon leaving the den, Juen gets a call from one of our part-time colleagues. He is in a restaurant that chameleons into a nightclub cum bistro at night not forgetting the fact that it also offers accommodation. I had my brown envelope containing my teaching paraphernalia. Since my blog has been running dry and short of worthy stories, I decided not to head home because I wanted some new experience. A new feeling which intoxicates.
Lejo was the guy we were to meet. He was offering to buy us pints. Lejo is a guy who methinks uses enhancers because he is barrel-chested and brawny. His pecs demands attention especially when he is adorned in fitting t-shirts. His wide lats only add to his perfect V-shaped figure compounded by a slender torso. But his muscles are not genuine. They are what we call imbo in sheng.
Some peon once told me for muscles to be real, they have to be contoured into visible triceps and biceps. “Sio tu nyama ati umeunga.” His grip is usually tight when he gives you a handshake and he has his locker where no one ever nears because they fear he can turn into a beast.
Even though I hate freebies, peer pressure influences me not to go home but to head to a bar. As I write this, I am still trying to “toa lock” but I have to write either way because I am alone in the house and I am not feeling like even touching food. One reason is that I am afraid of losing the nitty gritty content that I had.
On our way to where Lejo was, we pass by Juen’s office. He tells me his sole reason for teaching investments is partly because he has vested interests in investment firms. He tells me he is a part co-owner of a venture dealing with the same and shows me his office. I nod in agreement and tell him of how wise he is. As a prudent and shrewd businessman, he also operates a mogoka kiosk that gives him enough for sustenance. He tells me that Lejo has a weak spot for ladies. And that I confirm on our entry into the club where I find him with a certain mama.
The lady never looked young, but not a cougar though. While I thought I would find him with a young hot lady who is probably a ka yellow yellow, with a fine and great ass and a looker, this one was what my campus mate Mavo used to call ordinary. But Juen told me she is liquid. Reason why Lejo is hanging out with her. She looks like she is almost 35 judging by her figure, visage and all that. Like most Nairobi chics, she was doing Guarana. Other than the drink being called a pant remover, it has this connotation that you and the chic are going to ‘Guarana’ all night engaging in the devil’s dance as you imbue the sheet with your …..
As an eligible bachelor, (Imagine my students want a piece of me but they are not pushy because I told them am engaged to a hot mama, just kidding). Anyway, I am very handsome; many ladies fall for me because I am a charmer. But I am not a pant remover and neither am I a player. I respect ladies very much. Period.
Sheet, this auto correction thinks I am implying paint remover instead of pant remover. I ignore that. This is a by the way.
In this club where we once had what I can call the last supper with campus buddies before exiting, we go for the lounge, I realize I am among the youngest here and unattached. Never mind I celebrated my silver jubilee with nothing. Yes nothing. So the only way I was going to spoil myself was go for an out like this. I ensured I had some money in case things went haywire. But again, my phone was almost going off and it did not have my regular number. Every one of those in this club had a mama by his side and trust you me, this club has a shortage of hot mamacitas just like it is hard finding an oasis in Kalahari. That is going by my standards.
Juen went and brought one of his friends who was drinking on a different floor but in the same club. The guy buys us a round and engages us in a little chitchat. The waiter comes and we make our order. We resort for vodka which is inferior in the bastion of cosmopolitan Nairobi if going by the banter I have had about it.
“I only drink Whiskey. I am currently doing VAT 69. ”
This guy was bragging he does whiskey while he was not even at the famous whiskey bar, 1824. While whiskey is a pricey drink and associated with the urbane, it loses meaning when it is sipped in a joint where music is rumpus.
As a freelancer (not the professional one), anything legit or alluring that comes your way should be devoured. I am not a heavy drinker and half the Vodka the dude bought was fine. The waiter brings it with lemon and hot water in a red thermos. The guy who brought the drink had withdrew a wad of notes. Juen later tells me he is a banker. In fact, if you want to enjoy life sometimes in Nairobi without money, be a sycophant. Juen knows how to pull these strings and we even eat some chicken and chips courtesy to his court stewardship.
To syllogize the same, drinking vodka is cheap. A pal told me of how his friends were perturbed by the fact that he was buying Smirnoff Blue Label. My pal’s pals were of the opinion that he was stooping too low by even mentioning Vodka. What’s up with some middle class Nairobians? You ooze class if you do some pricey whiskey which you also have to mention with abandon.
The aura in this club looked mature judging by few people on the dance floor and most sitting calmly doing beer and their women either a soft drink or the usual black ice. This reminds me of a place we went where a lady was drinking Guinness kubwa while his man was doing Black ice. Reversed roles, right.
Lejo and Juen took to the dance floor as they let the music control them as they danced along to the native songs like Kanungo and those Kiuk music like Mwanake. Lejo’s chic also joined him in tow and they started dancing like some teenagers who think that they have to be banging their crotches together and daggering to make others jealous. But bend over is so 2010.
After about two hours, we left the club. Outside, Lejo’s chic had started something queer. He wanted to accompany Juen which got Lejo pissed off. She even stood near him and interlocked their arms together. But Juen is that guy who loves his wife and he told me he ensures he only goes to her. He has also mastered her and he knows what she wants.
I remember Juen telling me that he was going to give me like Sh. 200 for my transport. I wanted to remind him about it but after adding up some things, I was sure his drunken stupor was what had lied to him he could part with such a figure.
With the buggers
gone, and feeling a little bit high, I decided to walk around town for some
time in order to kill the alcohol in my system. I decided to head towards my
former Alma mater where I could possibly find someone whom I could rave the
night with. I thought of club Edge, the new club in town that is synonymous with
guys in their twenties. But the entrance was full so I went ahead and I met
this pal from my old town. Felo it was.
Felo is also a pal
we were with in campus and high school. He told me he was with my buddy Joda, a
chap who scored straight A’s but resorted to a less cool course in campus. They
did Economics like yours truly which made them my course mate. But they
completed a year after me. It was slightly over a month ever since they had
completed campus.
Felo was with his cousins and big bro who looked more developed than usual. He was a form four student when I was still a mono. Felo and Joda were still jobless. We were in this joint were beer goes for sh.150. I thought that was fair owing to the fact that most places in town the price is higher. However it is many floors up and that could be the reason. It also hosted my former alma mater, a design school that would have given me a job but I was out of its reach.
Joda probs me about where I am working. I tell him and he wants me to buy him a drink which I do. He tells me he plays for mean machine and I ask him on the whereabouts of Gabu who also plays for mean. He says Gabu used to study in St. Peters before proceeding to Kamu. Then he used to be a chop (bright in class). But in campus. Mayie Denda. He sometimes ended up worse because of what he knows best.
I leave my drinks in the custody of these guys because our friendship dates to many years. I leave the joint and head to Sabina Joy. You see, this place is the only joint in Nairobi where women sell their wares with no inhibition. They were near the gents and I had initially thought that the place they were gathered in was the ladies. Wrong. Since I am an explorer, I wanted to find out the price a hooker charges. I had no money enough on me to even think of procuring their services. But I never solicit for sex in such places.
Felo was with his cousins and big bro who looked more developed than usual. He was a form four student when I was still a mono. Felo and Joda were still jobless. We were in this joint were beer goes for sh.150. I thought that was fair owing to the fact that most places in town the price is higher. However it is many floors up and that could be the reason. It also hosted my former alma mater, a design school that would have given me a job but I was out of its reach.
Joda probs me about where I am working. I tell him and he wants me to buy him a drink which I do. He tells me he plays for mean machine and I ask him on the whereabouts of Gabu who also plays for mean. He says Gabu used to study in St. Peters before proceeding to Kamu. Then he used to be a chop (bright in class). But in campus. Mayie Denda. He sometimes ended up worse because of what he knows best.
I leave my drinks in the custody of these guys because our friendship dates to many years. I leave the joint and head to Sabina Joy. You see, this place is the only joint in Nairobi where women sell their wares with no inhibition. They were near the gents and I had initially thought that the place they were gathered in was the ladies. Wrong. Since I am an explorer, I wanted to find out the price a hooker charges. I had no money enough on me to even think of procuring their services. But I never solicit for sex in such places.
One of the ladies of
the night tells me she charges Sh.500 for a shot and the room goes for 300. We haggle over the price until it comes to something like
Sh.300. But I was not even interested. So if you have sh.600, you get a lady
and a room. But it depends on how you approach them. To piss her off since I wanted to leave, I ask her if she can
accept it without rubber for ten times what I am offering. She pushes me away. And
I ask another lady who also never accepts the offer of not using prophylactic.
I buy a Red bull and
look around the club with many ladies with so short clothes that barely cover their booties. This does not make my heart beat as I had wanted and I get
out and head back to where I was partying with my friends.
On reaching the gate, it was past one. The sentry denies me entry insisting I had not informed him while I was leaving that I would return. To kill the imminent, I oil his palms with a sh.50 note and he lets me in. Inside the club, I find Felo dancing with the chic I had initially found canoodling with his elder brother. Felo is tall and the lady has to stand on something to be able to bend over for her ass to get access to his manly belongings. They were dancing those wild moves that I used to love while a first year student. At present, I am not so much into them.
The lady had even feigned that she was high and almost tripped on me when I had placed my envelope on the seat when I had arrived in the club the first time. Maybe she thought I would grab her and buy her drinks, but I was not into her. Even if I was, kupita na manzi ya beshte yako is a no for me.
On reaching the gate, it was past one. The sentry denies me entry insisting I had not informed him while I was leaving that I would return. To kill the imminent, I oil his palms with a sh.50 note and he lets me in. Inside the club, I find Felo dancing with the chic I had initially found canoodling with his elder brother. Felo is tall and the lady has to stand on something to be able to bend over for her ass to get access to his manly belongings. They were dancing those wild moves that I used to love while a first year student. At present, I am not so much into them.
The lady had even feigned that she was high and almost tripped on me when I had placed my envelope on the seat when I had arrived in the club the first time. Maybe she thought I would grab her and buy her drinks, but I was not into her. Even if I was, kupita na manzi ya beshte yako is a no for me.
I continued drinking
for a while sleeping intermittently in the process. Felo tells me he has used
his flight money back to LD on drinks. He tells me he had been drinking since 2
in the afternoon and it is two in the evening. His gait tells it all. He cannot
stand erect without staggering for more than one minute.
Since they had exhausted all the cash, and because I was sleepy, we get out of the club. Revelers were now few. The girls who were dancing with Felo had also gone.
Outside, we get this vendor who sells boiled eggs and smokies. He tells us he goes by the name Amos. Some dudes were also buying but we take over the place. At first, Amos thought we would not pay. Since we were six, we would do what most Nairobians in a rende do when they find such a person. Eat everything and leave him with nothing.
We ate all the smokies, and eggs. I did five eggs and three smokies which I have never in my life. Hope I will not have a reaction to the eggs because there was a time I had a big boil and presumed it was as a result of eggs.
“Majamaa asanteni kwa kunijenga.” Amos told us.
He even offered to accompany us to the bus stage because we had given him a clean bill of health. It’s like we consumed goods worth more than sh.1000 because he was very happy. He told us he however had to share the money with kanjo and clean the place after working. Which he started doing because he had a hard broom with a polythene bag.
I felt like starting my own business looking at the moneys he had made. But that is a story for another day. While eating, I realized one of the cousins of Felo was a classmate in primary school. Davies was his name. I am not that guy who loves starting stories about stuff of ago when high.
Since they had exhausted all the cash, and because I was sleepy, we get out of the club. Revelers were now few. The girls who were dancing with Felo had also gone.
Outside, we get this vendor who sells boiled eggs and smokies. He tells us he goes by the name Amos. Some dudes were also buying but we take over the place. At first, Amos thought we would not pay. Since we were six, we would do what most Nairobians in a rende do when they find such a person. Eat everything and leave him with nothing.
We ate all the smokies, and eggs. I did five eggs and three smokies which I have never in my life. Hope I will not have a reaction to the eggs because there was a time I had a big boil and presumed it was as a result of eggs.
“Majamaa asanteni kwa kunijenga.” Amos told us.
He even offered to accompany us to the bus stage because we had given him a clean bill of health. It’s like we consumed goods worth more than sh.1000 because he was very happy. He told us he however had to share the money with kanjo and clean the place after working. Which he started doing because he had a hard broom with a polythene bag.
I felt like starting my own business looking at the moneys he had made. But that is a story for another day. While eating, I realized one of the cousins of Felo was a classmate in primary school. Davies was his name. I am not that guy who loves starting stories about stuff of ago when high.
The last time I met
Davies was more than 15 years or so and he could not recognize me. He was
bigger than me now but still had not done away with his clownish mien. Just realized that those guys I was bigger than in primary
school are now bigger than me in size. I never bothered to introduce myself to
Davies but I had wanted to ask him about his younger twin sister Doreen. Just
to tell him I know him but did let sleeping dogs lie.
As we left Amos, we decided to use an uninhabited lane as a urinal because it was the only point where we could relieve ourselves. A place where in broad daylight, you can never think of doing such a thing. Drinking has this effect whereby you feel like peeing frequently. A sentry came and found us but could do nothing because it was the dead of the night.
I decided to head to the Ghetto because it was easy to gain entry as it is well lit and a minutes walk from the main road as opposed to the place I normally stay because it has so many bureaucracies and very far from the main road. I was not going to walk more than five minutes and again, cabs at that time are never in place.
Next to the bus stop, I see this former classmate of mine who was a former student absorbed by Equity bank having performed well in high school arguing with a certain dude. Did I also mention that Joda was also a recipient of the same Equity scholarship and had job which he told me he left.
I don’t exactly remember the epithet of this chic but judging by the way she was howling her appendages and spitting some invectives, I could tell she was almost ending up in a fight. She was with two dudes. One was in a cheap white blazer and the in an equally cheap black blazer. Those that are rugged at the edge. The guy in white was restraining the one in black from beating her as she was going berserk. In Nairobi, things happen. I tell you.
What I realized was that even though the chic wanted to go away, she still went back to the dude, maybe she was cashless then. How could she go back to someone who was about to slap her as he had shook he vigorously before being pulled away. I wished my phone was on so that I could take a video of her then later share it on whatsapp with my campus buddies.
In campus, we were not that close and methinks we never ever talked. Maybe greetings because she once appeared to have been dating one of my high school friends who was also an Equity scholar when I once saw them clandestinely walking together at night.
I felt like going and telling her she deserved better but my legs could not. I was tired and just wanted to get in a mat and head to the digs. In the mat I remember sleeping the whole journey. I woke up only when the conductor asked for my fare. Then again went into deep slumber.
But I was lucky to wake up in time to alight at the stage where I was to alight. All along I had clutched tightly on my envelope. Am still tired as a result of the walking I did in town. At the digs, I had to jump over the fence because the gate was locked. I almost slept outside but found one door open as the commotion of jumping through the gate had woken up some people in the house.
I remember taxi drivers whistling at me to take a cab home. Maybe it was because of the envelope I was carrying. That way I could have also used his phone to call home.
PS: So while we may think we are doing things without others seeing us, there could be that someone seeing you. You never just know who it is.
SITUONANE.
[Photo Source: Pixabay]
As we left Amos, we decided to use an uninhabited lane as a urinal because it was the only point where we could relieve ourselves. A place where in broad daylight, you can never think of doing such a thing. Drinking has this effect whereby you feel like peeing frequently. A sentry came and found us but could do nothing because it was the dead of the night.
I decided to head to the Ghetto because it was easy to gain entry as it is well lit and a minutes walk from the main road as opposed to the place I normally stay because it has so many bureaucracies and very far from the main road. I was not going to walk more than five minutes and again, cabs at that time are never in place.
Next to the bus stop, I see this former classmate of mine who was a former student absorbed by Equity bank having performed well in high school arguing with a certain dude. Did I also mention that Joda was also a recipient of the same Equity scholarship and had job which he told me he left.
I don’t exactly remember the epithet of this chic but judging by the way she was howling her appendages and spitting some invectives, I could tell she was almost ending up in a fight. She was with two dudes. One was in a cheap white blazer and the in an equally cheap black blazer. Those that are rugged at the edge. The guy in white was restraining the one in black from beating her as she was going berserk. In Nairobi, things happen. I tell you.
What I realized was that even though the chic wanted to go away, she still went back to the dude, maybe she was cashless then. How could she go back to someone who was about to slap her as he had shook he vigorously before being pulled away. I wished my phone was on so that I could take a video of her then later share it on whatsapp with my campus buddies.
In campus, we were not that close and methinks we never ever talked. Maybe greetings because she once appeared to have been dating one of my high school friends who was also an Equity scholar when I once saw them clandestinely walking together at night.
I felt like going and telling her she deserved better but my legs could not. I was tired and just wanted to get in a mat and head to the digs. In the mat I remember sleeping the whole journey. I woke up only when the conductor asked for my fare. Then again went into deep slumber.
But I was lucky to wake up in time to alight at the stage where I was to alight. All along I had clutched tightly on my envelope. Am still tired as a result of the walking I did in town. At the digs, I had to jump over the fence because the gate was locked. I almost slept outside but found one door open as the commotion of jumping through the gate had woken up some people in the house.
I remember taxi drivers whistling at me to take a cab home. Maybe it was because of the envelope I was carrying. That way I could have also used his phone to call home.
PS: So while we may think we are doing things without others seeing us, there could be that someone seeing you. You never just know who it is.
SITUONANE.
[Photo Source: Pixabay]
